Airplane seat etiquette!

[cmsanto]

But what about the OP showing consideration? While you and your husband can do nothing about being tall, the OP has a number of options that would not put her in this position. She could buy a seat for her child, she could split up so that her family isn't taking an entire row and sit in a seat that reclines, she could put a family member in the seat directly in front of her (so the non-recliner is a family member). Consideration works both ways.

 

[ms_missy66]

I'm dying to know how long the flight is. If it's 2 hours, it's easy peasy. If it's a cross-country 6 hour deal, I, too, would have concerns.

Another thought is keeping the seats you have now, but requesting a change when you arrive. We all know how totally business-like and cold airport workers can be, but when I traveled alone with my daugther, they were super acommodating. If you're nice when request a change and explain the situation, I'm betting they'll do their best to help you out. I once had them find me a seat on a flight that had an empty one beside it. I still ended up holding my daugther, but I could put all of our crap in the next seat.

I think the bottom line here is that you absolutely have the right to ask the person in front of you to refrain from reclining and he/she absolutely has the right to decline your request. Regardless, I'm sure you'll be fine.

Good luck and enjoy your trip! No matter how this works out, your vacation will be wonderful!!

 

[pktbMouse]

Thank you all for your comments they are greatly appreciated...the flight is only 2 hours long..Houston to Orlando and it was the last 3 seats on the flight or we would have split up (me, hubby, 6yr old and baby). This was a last minute decision for this vacation and our original plan was to also purchase a seat for the baby but as I said that was the last 3.,...when we spoke to the girl at Continental on the phone she explained that no one takes these seats as they are a bit cramped and dont recline. We made the decision just to take them as it was all that was left for that week. My hubby cannot get any other time off work so we figured like you say...its only 2 hours..what the heck, if we took a week day flight it would have cut 2 days off our vacation. So I guess we made the decision so I have to grin and bear it...it just worried me somewhat when they mentioned them being bad seats. Thank you for telling me that you were ok with your babies with the person reclined...I feel so much better about it. The flight is also at noon so its a good time to fly..we should be in Orlando about 3pm with the time diff. You guys are awesome and thank you again.

 

[Disneymama09]

We brought 16 months old daughter with us on my lap for 6 hours from Seattle, She slept the whole time, it was great, the seats dont really recline that much... I think they would rather leave their seat not reclined then have a crying baby right, I think most people would oblige... Have Fun!

 

[KelnRon]

We just got back last week & we ended up in the very back row! It sucked b/c there were no windows and I kept hearing the bathroom doors shut! The lady in front of me did recline her seat ALL the way back ... she had a crabby baby she was holding, but honestly it didn't bother me and my two year old was hopping from her seat to mine and we had no issues with the reclining seat.

 

[dis-happy]

In your shoes, I would have split up and put dh or dh and 6 year old in front of me. But since you didn't do that you still have some hope. On a flight to Orlando there will be a lot of kids and they don't usually bother to recline; maybe you'll get lucky and will have a kiddo sitting in the row in front of yours....if so, plunk yourself behind this person. Have fun!

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

I am 5'0. Honestly on a plane, i never check out who is behind me, partially because i can't see most of them. The seats are tall for me and it's hard for me to look over. So please don't expect that the person in front of anyone is aware of who is sitting behind them.
I have sat with my baby on my lap with someone reclined in front of me. The only difficult part when when i put the tray down and so i didn't. My daughter in the middle did so i just put everything on her tray.
I

 

[brergnat]

Well, hey, if the person in front reclines, and it gets too cramped, baby will let him/her know in no uncertain terms by crying the whole 2 hours!

This happened to us on a SHORT 1 hour plane trip from San Francisco to Orange County, CA with our (then) 6m old son. We were returning from a wedding, and it had been a last minute decision to bring him with us (I was nursing him, so I didn't want to leave him overnight). Since we decided at the last minute, we didn't have a plane ticket for him. On the way up, we got lucky and had an open seat in our row, so we put him in his carseat, but on the way back, we were in the LAST ROW, and the plane was 100% full, so there was no open seat. We had to gate check the infant seat and hold him on our lap for the flight. He was NOT a happy baby! He cried the WHOLE time. Nursing didn't help, nor did a bottle, pacifier, toy, etc. To top it off, the person in front of both DH and I decided to recline all the way, and we are SMALL people and it was bad. I could hardly move. I had such a headache. Luckily, the older gentleman next to us was so patient and understanding. The people in front of us kept turning around and glaring, but THEY were the ones crowding us, but we never said anything. I was trying everything I could think of to quiet my son, but what can you do? The only saving grace was about 20 min before landing, we were flying over Catalina island and it was a nice clear day, and I put my son up to the window, and he became mesmerized by the little boats and the scenery outside as we flew in along the coast. Without that, it would have been 20 more minutes of hell.

After that little experience, we swore we would ALWAYS purchase a seat for our kids from now on, no matter what, and we would NEVER take the back row again, no matter how short the flight.

OP: I hope you have a better experience than we did. But, remember, if the people in front of you cause you discomfort, there's not much you can do about it. You're all passengers on the same plane. You can certainly ask them to not recline, but I, personally, would never dream of doing that. They are well within their rights to do so. You guys made the decision to take that flight under those circumstances (which, to be fair, I would have done as well...suck it up in the name of Disney, right!), so you've just got to make the best of it.

 

[murcor]

You say you got the last row....how many seats did you get? Each of you could take turns holding the baby or you could switch seats with a member of your family.

 

[crisi]

You can ask, but you need to recognize that they have a right to recline their seat, that not reclining their seat create the same issue for them that you already have because the person in front of them is very likely to recline their seat (and so on up to the front of the plane), and that the fact that you booked your airfare later than they did (or alternatively chose four seats together instead of getting spread throughout the plane) and that you chose not to buy a seat for your child does not obligate them to inconvience themselves.

They might be nice and say "oh, of course." They might tell you no - they might even do so rudely.

 

[bgirl29]

We bought last minute tickets a few years ago and before I purchased them I forgot to look at what seats were available. Well we ended up having the same as you, back row, nonreclining seats. The person on the phone said she would put us in that row so we could be together but to keep checking for better seats to become available and to ask at the airport if we could be changed to different seats.

Well we arrive at MCO and asked the gate agent if we could be moved, she said no, so we were fine with that. After all we were going to be together and it would have only been 2 1/2 hours. Well a few minutes later we were called up to the podium and the gate agent said that the pilot had decided to close the back row so we would need to be moved. So we ended up towards the front of the plane, in coach where the row on one side went from 2 seats wide to 3, so my husband also had a seat with plenty of leg room.

So I guess my point is that it doesn't hurt to ask at the gate, you may just get lucky like we did. I hope you have a great trip.

 

[badblackpug]

I would love to get into MCO, just once, with my kneecaps intact. We are tall people. (6' and 6'4") and I am leggy. It is cramped with the seat in front of me fully upright. My knees are already up against the seat in front of me. I always get two aisle seats, across from one another, but I can't keep my legs in the aisle because that disrupts the flight attendants. It never fails, every year the person in front of me jams their seat back, without even looking, crushing my knees. Our flight to MCO is just under 2 hours. I have been crushed by older people, kids, everyone.

People keep saying "it's their right" to recline, and fine, yes it is, but what about common courtesy? I never recline if there is an adult sitting behind me. Just because I'm uncomfortable doesn't mean I would inflict the same upon others. ...and remember it is my "right" (according to airline regulations) to hold my baby on my lap, too.

 

[taitai]

...we have always bought our three boys seats so I do not have first hand experience with this issue. Just another reason why buying your kid a seat makes sense, I guess.

Anyway, I rarely recline my seat due to my bad back. However, there are many times when I am traveling that the person in front of me reclines theirs and I have no choice but to recline mine...especially if I am doing work on my computer. The seats are too cramped to have the tray table down and the computer open without reclining. So, I guess my point is to be aware that the person in front of you may have no choice to recline. It isn't fair to make them keep their seat upright just because you didn't buy your kid a seat. They have just as much right to be comfortable as you do.

 

[fussymonkey]

I hear so much talk on disboards about "my right to x is not trumped by your right to y", whether its a non-handicapped person using the companion restrooms with children in strollers, 9 year old boys traumatizing girls by being in the ladies bathroom with thier mothers, or people who are terribly put upon by declining to recline during a short flight in order to afford thier neighbor some comfort. We get so hung up on our "rights" we neglect to be good people, which is unfortunate, since as they say, karma is a beyotch.

Ultimately I *hope* most of us, however opinionated we are with strangers on a internet bulletin board, are better people in real life who can choose to sit upright with a less than optimal level of comfort in order to keep from realllly inconveincing our neighbor behind.

I have little kids, though both will be past the lap stage on our next trip, and believe me, I have been there, done that and got the tshirt. I would be more than happy to sit upright to give you a little space. Tall guy/girl that goes for you too; I might not notice you back there- so don't get mad at me for not checking you when I sit down and intuiting that I shouldn't recline- but if you ask politely I will be happy to do what I can to make the ride more tolerable for you. I promise you that I will be more than happy to treat you as I would wish to be treated- not as you deserve for not having planned differently, not as you deserve for daring to ask me to give up a tiny fraction of comfort- nope, I will treat you as I would like someone to treat me if ever I was in a similar circumstance, without judgement or huffiness.

Luckily there are a lot of people out there like me, who will happily accomodate. So I think you will be fine... and if you get someone who looks like they really need the space or can't or would prefer not to sit upright, then at least its only 2 hrs.

Good luck and have a great trip!

 

[Stacerita]

This may be the wrong place to post this however here goes..whats your take on this...we have booked our flight to florida and could only get the last row all sitting together...I know this row dosnt recline and I will have the baby on my lap. I just know the person in front is going to recline their seat and there will be no room to breath...while technically there is nothing I can do about it is it morally wrong for me to complain ?
I know it is just common courtesy but what can I do if they are crushing the baby and wont budge their seat??? I know they have payed thier money just like everyone else and they have every right to do this but most cases I think its "I will because I can". Whats your take on this? Thanks

You can buy your child another seat, ask to be seated elsewhere or ask them not to recline. But I don't think you have the right to complain. It was your choice to sit together, your choice not to buy the kid a seat and your choice to have the child on your lap. Just as it will be the choice of the person in front of you to recline their seat.

 

[crisi]

Ultimately I *hope* most of us, however opinionated we are with strangers on a internet bulletin board, are better people in real life who can choose to sit upright with a less than optimal level of comfort in order to keep from realllly inconveincing our neighbor behind.

I think I can be a really good person and put my seat back. It may be a big inconvenience to me to not recline my seat - I may have my own child to deal with, a laptop open and a presentation for work in progress, a book I'm trying to read with 40 year old eyesight, a back that is stressed and spasms if I'm upright. The person in the seat behind me is not in a position to judge my need for that level of comfort - and frankly, I don't have enough information to judge whether their need is greater than my own - it would be terribly impertinent to compare their need to deal with a squirmy child with my back problems to determine who had priority over how I should position my chair.

(I seldom recline my own seat because my back does spasm in a plane seat, and its worse when I recline - but it seems that those arguing for courtesy should extend the courtesy to letting the person in the seat that reclines evaluate their own needs and not accuse them of being bad people when they don't get what they want.)

 

[fussymonkey]

(I seldom recline my own seat because my back does spasm in a plane seat, and its worse when I recline - but it seems that those arguing for courtesy should extend the courtesy to letting the person in the seat that reclines evaluate their own needs and not accuse them of being bad people when they don't get what they want.)

Indeed, you are the best judge of yoru circumstances, and when the OP politely asks if you would mind not reclining you are free to say, "I'm sorry, but I prefer to recline" and the OP will need to exercise the same respect and courtesy and accept your response.

I'm sure many people need to recline for one reason or another, but for the average person... its most likely a nice-to-have not a have-to-have. Its neither rude for the OP to ask, nor rude for her fellow passengar to recline.

 

[design_mom]

I might not notice you back there- so don't get mad at me for not checking you when I sit down and intuiting that I shouldn't recline- but if you ask politely I will be happy to do what I can to make the ride more tolerable for you. I promise you that I will be more than happy to treat you as I would wish to be treated-

I agree. I would not squish anyone on purpose (although I rarely recline my seat fully anyway), and if they asked nicely I would do what I could to accommodate.

OP -- it sounds like you've got a few options. I think it's pretty rare that *everyone* in a row reclines their seat fully. Since you, DS and DH have the full row, you can either switch seats among yourselves or let whoever has the most room hold the baby. If the guy in front of you chooses to recline, maybe the girl in front of your DH will not.

Good luck.

 

[crisi]

Indeed, you are the best judge of yoru circumstances, and when the OP politely asks if you would mind not reclining you are free to say, "I'm sorry, but I prefer to recline" and the OP will need to exercise the same respect and courtesy and accept your response.

I'm sure many people need to recline for one reason or another, but for the average person... its most likely a nice-to-have not a have-to-have. Its neither rude for the OP to ask, nor rude for her fellow passengar to recline.

Yep, it is not rude to ask, nor is it rude to decline the request - as long as both are done politely.

There is, however, a lot of humor in the thought that because you aren't getting your way, the individual sitting in front of you is being selfish.

 

[foszilfineder]

I hear so much talk on disboards about "my right to x is not trumped by your right to y", whether its a non-handicapped person using the companion restrooms with children in strollers, 9 year old boys traumatizing girls by being in the ladies bathroom with thier mothers, or people who are terribly put upon by declining to recline during a short flight in order to afford thier neighbor some comfort. We get so hung up on our "rights" we neglect to be good people, which is unfortunate, since as they say, karma is a beyotch.

Ultimately I *hope* most of us, however opinionated we are with strangers on a internet bulletin board, are better people in real life who can choose to sit upright with a less than optimal level of comfort in order to keep from realllly inconveincing our neighbor behind.

I have little kids, though both will be past the lap stage on our next trip, and believe me, I have been there, done that and got the tshirt. I would be more than happy to sit upright to give you a little space. Tall guy/girl that goes for you too; I might not notice you back there- so don't get mad at me for not checking you when I sit down and intuiting that I shouldn't recline- but if you ask politely I will be happy to do what I can to make the ride more tolerable for you. I promise you that I will be more than happy to treat you as I would wish to be treated- not as you deserve for not having planned differently, not as you deserve for daring to ask me to give up a tiny fraction of comfort- nope, I will treat you as I would like someone to treat me if ever I was in a similar circumstance, without judgement or huffiness.

Luckily there are a lot of people out there like me, who will happily accomodate. So I think you will be fine... and if you get someone who looks like they really need the space or can't or would prefer not to sit upright, then at least its only 2 hrs.

Good luck and have a great trip!

So, you are happy to accommodate anyone? Because one person's radical is another's normal. If people want the comfort of space, they are more than welcome to pay for it.

As far karma, well it is always around. Does it hit the mom's who have no respect for the handicapped who CAN'T use the other stalls, the rude handicapped people trying to keep all of the stalls to themselves, the mom reclining to give herself and her child a bit more breathing space, or the person who doesn't pay for a space they think they deserve?