Ahhhhh, middle school interims are out.

[hereyago]

Let me first say I love and support my DD, but I think an alien has taken over her 12 year old body. She has been a honor roll student back and forth. but lately DANG!

We also have the look grades up online. Here is the thing with DD, she used to do the do the work but not turn it in. well for whatever reason alien girl has decided to start it up again. except Math-because math if you don't turn in your homework,etc. you will get an automatic F. but that is the only class that has fast consequences.

Or in English: she has to read 4 books per marking period and take a computer test on them. She will read them, but won't take the tests which is 20 percent of their overall grade.

Get ready for this: we had an academic/ career planning meeting with the GC at the school and we discussed some of her grades. I told DD to buckle up and do what she needs to do as I know what she is capable of achieving. the GC told her later about high school: well in middle school, we won't hold you back, we will move you on to the next grade thanks for opening your pie hole.

I told her 3 grade was the end of me taking her stuff to school if she forgot and now it's 7th grade, I have done my time when I went to school and now it's her turn. she makes her own fate.

We started taking our dog to obedience classes, she can go with us. So she has been starting to concentrate more. Why? because she wants to be a dog trainer and have a doggy day care and the guy we go to talks to her about it and how grades and subjects are important. And he told her if she doesn't bring up her grades, she can't come to classes that she has to be disciplined in school before she can have discipline over anything else. So she has gotten a jump on her upcoming projects. Whatever works.

 

[LuvOrlando]

My method is to leave them alone if they do well but be an absolute PITA haunt if they don't. Oh yeah, and I also become a super tutor which means they have to spend endless time with me teaching them whatever it is they don't seem to be getting. Since neither kid likes this its a pretty good deterrent. I have to say making them watch an entire weeks worth of instructional videos helps too.

My DS got a lazy grade on a Meiosis project so yesterday I made him sit through a bunch of videos from Kahn Academy, a website I heard about on another thread earlier in the week. Yep, time with me watching educational videos or time playing WOW or X-Box 360 with friends not a hard choice.

Good luck OP

 

[marcyinPA]

My method is to leave them alone if they do well but be an absolute PITA haunt if they don't.

Hey, that's MY method!

 

[SydSim]

Oh my goodness, gracious!!!!! Thank you so much for mentioning this site! I immediately checked it out and I looooovvvvvveeeeeeeeee it! Dd is in 9th grade and I have someone tutor her in Geometry - don't think we'll be needing that much longer after these videos!

The Dis is so informative!

 

[PollyannaMom]

....videos from Kahn Academy, a website I heard about on another thread earlier in the week. Yep, time with me watching educational videos or time playing WOW or X-Box 360 with friends not a hard choice.

Good luck OP

Another thank you for posting this! DS (grade 4) is having trouble with fractions, and I think he'd much rather watch the computer go over it again than Mom.

 

[hereyago]

But here is a ?: at what point if any, do you leave it up to them? I mean growing up, my DF was working and DM, well that is a whole different topic. but it was up to ME to do well or not do well. They had no say-well let me rephrase, they left it up to me in picking elective courses. in 11th grade they weren't checking to see if i turned in my homework.

 

[hereyago]

DS (grade 4) is having trouble with fractions, and I think he'd much rather watch the computer go over it again than Mom.

Funny thing: I have always been bad at math. fractions, forget about it. I had pre Algebra in 9th grade then chose 2 sciences so I wouldn't have to take anymore math. My DD12 is doing Pre Alg. now, I can't help her at all-except geometry, that I can handle. but she will show how what she is working on and this is me, but she does try to teach me.

 

[stm61]

my oldest has had middle-school-brain since 5k! Seriously, this child has always hated school. Actually, it wasn't the fact that he had to go to school, he liked being with the other kids, it was the fact that they actually expected him to do work that he objected to. Fast forward 12 years, he's now a senior in HS, in his last semester. I get an email from his math resource teacher. Seems he's decided he's on vacation in math class. He owes 6 assignments and a test, plus he just got a 20 on a quiz because he only bothered to answer 1 question! It's not that he can't do the work, he just doesn't feel like doing it. The work he did manage to turn in, the lowest grade is a 96! The inclusion and math teachers dragged his butt into guidance and had a come-to-Jesus meeting with him Wed. afternoon. Apparently, the threat of not graduating registered and he made up everything he owed by Thurs. afternoon. And this is the child that scored in the gifted range on his IQ tests!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

here is a ?: at what point if any, do you leave it up to them?

I think that is the crux of the issue. They're at an age where it's necessary to begin to learn to function independently. But for some, it may be too much, too soon. I try to keep in mind, too, that, besides school, they have a ton going on physically, socially and emotionally as well. Yet pulling decent grades is still important. So it's a tough balance, sometimes...

I saw this and thought it would be helpful to post here:

Keeping track 'a process' for middle schoolers

Written by Kathleen Klein
Saturday, 19 June 2010

We've all been through it -- a big school assignment that's forgotten until the morning it's due, the scramble for sports gear when it's time to leave for practice, homework that somehow disappears before it gets turned in.

Let's face it: Being organized is hard work, especially if you're a pre-teen middle schooler. "It's a process," says Georgie Chaffin, head counselor at Seattle's Eckstein Middle School. "I tell parents to remember their middle school students are in the process of becoming."

As with many issues during the middle school years, parents will do best in the role of coach, helping their students set reasonable goals, take baby steps and celebrate the successes.

What's realistic to expect?

"A basic benchmark is that students should be able to find whatever he or she needs for a particular task, at the time it's needed," advises Camilla Calkins, learning resources coordinator at Lakeside School. That covers assignments and books needed for homework, as well as team uniform, water bottle and ball for tonight's game.

Work with your child to set goals that are "small and attainable," Calkins recommends. Focus on one goal at a time, even if it seems like five other things are screaming for improvement. The first step might be writing down all assignments in one notebook that is checked every night.

Have your child take the lead, coming up with ways to organize his stuff and time. "Part of the biology of adolescence is that they want to be more independent and self-directed," Calkins explains. "The minute an idea comes from outside, it is less likely to be taken on by the student because they don't own it."

Chaffin suggests that parents set up a system of rewards for the desired behavior. "Share the discussion about what's a reasonable consequence or reward. What motivates your child is the key," she says. For example, allow extra TV or video game time for a student who comes home every day this week with something written down for every class -- even if it's "no assignment."

Both Chaffin and Calkins caution that the responsibility rests with the student to get work done. Bailing out students all the time (such as bringing their forgotten items to school) robs them of the chance to experience the natural consequence of being disorganized and forgetful. "If I had it to do again, I'd let my child trip and fall more often," says Chaffin, the mother of two grown children. "Better to have that experience in the seventh grade than when they are a high school senior."

As you step back, provide a safety net. Ask your student what kind of support from you is most helpful. Monitor what's going on. Help them process mistakes and reflect on what they can do to avoid failure in the future.

Look at progress reports together to see what needs improvement. Are assignments overlooked? Is homework done but not turned in? Perhaps daily work is easily handled, but long-term projects cause difficulty.

If your child's school provides an organizational tool, use it, Chaffin says. At Eckstein, each student gets a weekly planner at the start of the year, with room to jot down daily assignments and long-term projects. "It's not only helps students to develop organization skills, but it's also a great communication tool between school and home."

Help your child tailor an organizational system that works for him -- whether it's a prioritized to-do list, giant desk calendar, color-coded folders, or sticky notes in his study area.

Here are additional tips from Chaffin and Calkins:

Look at the big picture. Your child can manage her time better if she realizes everything that's on her plate -- homework, household chores, music lessons or sports practice.

Set aside a regular time and place for homework. Just like when they were younger, middle schoolers still need structure and routine. A well-stocked study space avoids wasted time searching for supplies.

Use a planner or other organizational tool where all assignments are recorded. Check it together.

Keep a family calendar where everyone can check it -- whether it's on the refrigerator door or online. This helps avoid surprises.

Help set priorities. Some students need help figuring out how to tackle a task list.

Use a timer to monitor time on task and to keep study breaks from lasting too long.

Safeguard completed work by putting it in a separate folder as soon as it's done. By the end of the next school day, that folder should be empty.

Break bigger projects into smaller steps with specific deadlines, so long-term assignments are completed on time.

Prepare the night before. Once homework is finished, pack up all school materials, musical instruments, sports gear, etc. Put it in the same spot so it's easy to grab the next morning.

http://www.parentmap.com/ages-11-14.../keeping-track-a-process-for-middle-schoolers

 

[Pea-n-Me]

This was good as well. (Couldn't choose!)

Help Middle Schoolers Manage Their Homework

Middle school students have a lot of homework assignments to keep track of. Here’s how to help your child stay on top of that work without a fight.
by June Allan Corrigan

In elementary school, your child only had one teacher to answer to, and she was likely to remind the class of a book report coming due while assigning that night’s math problems. Middle school, of course, is an entirely different ball game. Suddenly your student has a whole host of teachers to answer to, none of whom are necessarily aware of the others’ homework loads. And that’s when your child may drop the…er…ball.

“Neglecting to hand in homework assignments is the number one reason [that] grades of students with average or above-average intelligence drop when they reach middle school,” says Suzanne Thomas, a language arts and social studies teacher at Colonel Mitchell Paige Middle School in La Quinta, Calif. “Whether assignments lie unfinished at the bottom of a backpack, or finished but sadly left on a desk at home, the cumulative points, or rather the lack thereof, can really add up and drag a student’s grade down.”

With most schools offering access to individual students’ grades online, it can be truly depressing to log on and discover that your child, while seeming to do well on classwork and tests, has numerous zeros listed beside homework assignments. The result can be a low or failing grade despite having a fairly good grasp of the subject matter.

On the surface, the solution seems simple enough. Do the homework, hand it in. If only it were so easy! As a parent, you may be dealing with more than your child’s disorganization and poor time management skills. There’s often a battle of wills going on, too. Parents need to help middle schoolers realize that just because they don’t feel like doing something, it doesn’t mean they can’t get it done anyway, says Jeffrey Bernstein, author of 10 Days to a Less Distracted Child. “[If] a child doesn’t feel like getting his homework done after school or it doesn’t feel good, it’s vital that parents make sure the child doesn’t convert that in his head to ‘Well, I just can’t do it,’ ” he says.

Negotiate, Don’t Fight
When your child is dragging her feet and you can feel your frustration level starting to rise, it’s time to negotiate, not argue. A good plan is to suggest that she try concentrating on her assignment for five minutes, Bernstein says. You probably know from your own experience that five minutes allows you to get a good jump-start on any unpopular task—in your case, it might be paying bills. You might want to share this bit of wisdom with your student, as well.

As important as skillful negotiation is, real empathy for your child will often be your winning strategy. Think about it: Have you ever noticed how your child tunes in to stories about your own experiences but tunes out when you veer off into a lecture? The last thing you want to do is shut down your student. It’s essential that you avoid using words like “have to,” “should,” or other sorts of controlling language. Be your child’s advocate rather than his adversary, Bernstein says. This could mean sitting down with your child during those first five minutes of homework to help him organize his material and model a few problems. At some point you might work in a story about how you struggled with 7th grade math, too. Before you know it, that five minutes can turn into 10, then 15, and even the 30 minutes it takes to get the work done.

Offer Rewards
In a perfect world, mastering the subject matter and handing in assignments on time would be reward enough. And perhaps at some point in your child’s academic career that will be the case. However, during the period of adjustment to middle school’s demands, rewards can prove quite motivating. You have to change them up, though, because the same reward can become boring to kids, Bernstein says. The promise of an hour of TV or video game time once homework is completed loses its appeal after a while. In truth, rewards work best when your child comes up with an idea and you agree to it.

“One of the most neglected rewards is simple praise and encouragement,” Bernstein says. “Parents seldom realize how critical they sound always pointing out the things their kids don’t do, when they really need to point out what he or she has done.” The next time your child is feeling overwhelmed by a homework assignment, motivate her by reminding her of a past success. It might have been the time she was enduring a terrible slump in baseball, yet she stuck with it and hit a grand slam in the season’s final game.

Let Go
As with most things related to raising kids, there comes a time when you have to step back and let them go it alone. Mistakes will be made and some assignments may slip below the radar, but your child’s resulting grades will clearly demonstrate what happens when he doesn’t make enough of an effort. If your child is resisting your study suggestions, you may find yourself with no other choice than to let him learn the hard way. If you’re in this situation, stay as involved as you can. “Don’t let him hang out to dry,” says Bernstein. Stay in contact with teachers and let your child know you are always there to help if he wants it.

Ultimately, you want to avoid turning discussions about homework into a confrontation. Rely on your negotiation skills and remain reasonable in all situations. Say there comes a night when he’ll only give his homework 15 minutes of attention. Negotiate for another 15 minutes in the morning to get that vocabulary page finished. If he doesn’t stick with this plan, you may have to acquiesce and allow him to deal with the consequences. Just be sure not to follow up with harsh words like “See what happens when you don’t study?” That’ll just turn him against you. The point is to keep a productive conversation going whether he decides to heed your suggestions or not. The conversation should let him know that you still care—if he thinks that you’ve given up, he just may, too. Give him a little space to figure it out on his own, but maintain an interest.

Keep in mind that your child’s difficulty adjusting to the academic demands of middle school is only temporary. “It takes time and a lot of trial and error, but most kids start to pull their act together somewhere between the second half of 6th grade and 7th grade,” says Thomas, the middle school teacher. Until then, remember that patience and understanding go a long way toward helping your child make the transition and, just as important, helping you maintain your sanity.

http://www.schoolfamily.com/school-...0-help-middle-schoolers-manage-their-homework

 

[hereyago]

Pea N Me: both articles were helpful. Thanks.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

You're welcome.

There was a similar thread here probably a year or so ago. A middle school teacher posted and I remember feeling very reassured by what she said. I wish I could find it.

Count me in as another that doesn't get the whole not turning in COMPLETED homework.

 

[hereyago]

DD also just started this new thing at school. Well when I say new, it's new to her, not sure how long it's been around. BUT:

She gets a slip every day from the GC's box outside of her office. On the box it has core subjects listed then the kids can write their own electives on it. they go to each teacher during school. the teacher will mark off if they turned their homework in, then they bring it home. However, like I said I can see what is turned in, but I guess it gets them into the habit of being accountable.

If she gives the slip to the English teacher, then go oh hey wait I have my homework, I supposed it will help.

 

[ajk912]

Thank you very, very much for this thread and especially those two articles. I actually think this is a great support thread for those of us about to pull our hair out. THANK YOU!!!

 

[momof1princess]

thank goodness i'm not alone! DD13 only occasionally forgets to turn in homework or an assignment, but getting her to study for tests is like pulling teeth! her last two math test grades were a 78 and a 54! and this is a supposedly "gifted" child who is in the beta club and pre-ap algebra! she had 100s and 105s before these last two tests, so i'm hoping she's still got a B, if not, she'll be on beta club probation, and it's her own fault, because i warned her she needed to study and she kept saying "i went over everything" and watched TV instead. will she learn her lesson this time if she gets below a B and gets kicked out of the beta club? probably not.

 

[hereyago]

And the pressure from schools. By 9th grade, they -school- want the kids to have a really really good idea of what they want to do career wise, so they can do the courses somewhat relative to get them in the right direction.

In 8th grade they get a high school course guide with the different electives, also a section that partners with a local community college for dual enrollment. magnet school information, also a technical/medical type school: varies from auto body to dental assistant and vet assistant.

So many options. Also seems it could be overwhelming for some.