Age or maturity.. How do you decide?

[C.Ann]

How do you decide what your children are allowed - or not allowed - to do?

Do you base it on age? Maturity? Or both?

 

[Stacerita]

I use a combination of both. I will usually tell DD that when she gets a certain age, "we will see" about letting her do something. She's 13 (almost 14) and has already started talking about driving. I told her when she gets to that age, we will see and talk about it then.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Both--but for right now, I still consider them young at 9 and 6.

Something like learning to drive--I will base that on maturity and not automatically b/c of their age.

I didn't drive (legally) until age 17 and I survived. (that was more of a logistics issue than a maturity issue due to military work schedules of my mom who had to take me)

I've known several parents who have let children drive when the child was too immature and too blatantly disrespectful to their parents. But the parents didn't feel they could wait since the child reached the age. I'm not playing that game.

 

[puffkin]

Maturity. Why would you hold a kid back from something just because they are too young or vice versa allow them to do something just because they are the right age? I think everything should be based on maturity.

 

[DSNLvR]

Depends on what I am considering for them. When it comes to safety, maturity.

 

[Mnementh]

I don't have any children (yet), but I would think that regardless what age someone is (as long as there isn't an age restriction on a given activity) if they prove that they are mature enough to handle it, they should be allowed to do whatever it is that they want to do. If they are old enough to do something but haven't proven that they are mature enough to do it, I wouldn't think they should be allowed to do it.

 

[LisaNJ25]

Both but maturity usually rules. My oldest just turned 17 this month I have not let him get his permit or license. . He is so not showing me he is mature enough to handle it yet.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Maturity and Trustworthyness, age is not considered. (well unless you are talking movies, etc, where age is a requirement.)