Age Differences in Relationships

[LittleMissMickey]

So, my friends and I have been discussing this lately. We are between 23 and 26 years of age (female, if it makes a difference) and it seems that recently the age issue has been less important in dating. Does it make a difference how old people are? What are the age differences between DISers and their significant others? Is there a certain point that it is just not okay to go past? Is it okay to be friends with people of any age, but only date people within a set range of age? I don't know, just wondering...

Also, if you could tell why it does/does not make a difference to you, that would be great! I am stupid when it comes to dating and just don't know this stuff! Help!

I should say that I am 24. Last year I went on a date with a guy who was 29. By the end of the night I found out he was 38. I just want to say that lying does not help!!! To me, THAT is creepy, but if you are honest about it, is it so bad?

 

[Robinrs]

I'd like to add that I have NEVER dated a guy older than me.... well once, and it was a shock when I found out. My current beau is 9 years my junior.

What matters to me is the maturity factor. I'm the youngest in my family and most of the guys I date are either the oldest or an only. They are naturally more mature. I'm a kid till the day I die.. btw I'm 50...

 

[disney50fam]

age is just a number

 

[ElizaB39]

Hmmm, so many factors to consider.

My friend and her DH are 14 years apart and have been together since she was 18 and that has been 23 years, they have 5 kids.

My DBro and his SO are 14 years apart and they have been together for 5 years since she was 23. They have 2 kids.

I would stay away from anyone under 18 for obvious reasons.

 

[MamaLema]

I'm 31. DH is 35.

I think age doesn't matter...unless it's a HUGE difference, like Anna Nicole Smith.

There are couples who are 15 years apart that have great relationships and there are couples who are the same age and have crappy ones.

 

[CathrynRose]

Im 17 and my fiance is 38. He picks me up from school, everyday.






Everyone's mouth open?

Okay - Im a tad older... I'm 32, and he is 38.

Today is International Goof Off Day, btw!!!

 

[Kim&Chris]

I believe age does make a difference.

When I was your age & still in the 'dating scene', I dated men both younger and older than myself. I found that the younger guys, no matter how mature they tried to be, seemed to eventually end up being simply too young. It wasn't their fault, it's just nature. Then there were guys that were older...they were nice, but sometimes it's just more difficult to find things in common.

Two of my sisters married outside of their age group; my one sister married a guy who is 4 years younger. He was a goof then, and is a goof now. As she approaches 40, she is beginning to realize she'll always be two steps ahead of him. Another sister married a man 17 years older than herself. That marriage probably will not last because of many differences in their lives, not just their age (although that is probably about 75% of the problem).

My advice: Try to find men who are at least close to your age - maybe 2 or 3 years older would be ideal. My DH is a year older than me. We grew up experiencing the same things, having similar experiences, etc. We understand each other, and have a sound relationship as a result.

 

[FreshTressa]

Age does not equal maturity...I know 40 year olds that are not as mature as DH was when he was 23!!

Only thing I'd worry about is when I got old, I would not want to be alone, so I don't want someone a lot older than me.

 

[golfgal]

The older you get, the less the age difference matters. If you are at the same stage in life, age doesn't really matter. If a 17 year old was dating a 27 year old, that would be an issue in my book because that 17 year old is still in school and young where as the 27 year old is past normal schooling years and should be in the workforce, etc. Now a 27 year old dating a 37 year old isn't that big of a deal because they are 'mature' adults in a similar stage in life (out of school, working, assuming they are self supporting, etc, etc).

Get to the other end of the spectrum and you have an 80 year old dating a 27 year old, that would bother me because again, they are at different stages of life.

 

[azgal81]

I am 25 my boyfriend is 29. I don't think age difference matters that much but I would not date a guy that much younger then me I like older guys better. Younger guys are immature and horribly clingy. Just from experience.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

As you can tell from my signature, I am 27 and my husband is 33. We married in 2004 when I was 25 and he was 31.

 

[Shugardrawers]

When it comes to dating the older the people involved are,the less age makes a difference. After a certain point, your personality has mostly developed and you're about as mature as you are going to get. So if you are 50 and your honey is 75, no biggie but if you are 30 and your sweetheart is 16, uh, I'm calling the cops. There are 7 years between Dh and I and I'd say our maturity levels are about even (I'm not sure if that's good or bad though).

When it comes to strictly friendship, I don't think age matters much. My 2 closest friends ever have both been at least 15 years younger than me. My best friend is 25 and I'm 42. I've never been closer to or had more in common with another person in my entire life.

 

[lillygator]

my Charming and I are 10 years apart...we started dating when I was 22!

 

[Marseeya]

My DH lied to me about his age when we met too! Good thing he did, or we wouldn't be together now. I was 26 and a single mom and he was 22. There's no way I would have gone forward with that relationship because of my pre-conceived notion that a man that age would be too immature.

OTOH, I dated a man who was in his 30s when I was in my early 20s and he was just too old for me. He had kind of this "daddy" attitude that I did NOT like.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

My SO is 10 years older than me, my sister and DBIL are 11 years apart.

 

[In a hurry]

I think that when people get older it starts to matter again. I have several friends around my age (44) with husbands in their 60's and I am hearing more and more concern in their voices about their futures. They are very happy and love their husbands, but they are getting scared.

 

[SC Minnie]

DH and I are 14 years apart. I assumed he was about 7 years older than me when we went out for the first time. He told me later that evening how old he was when I asked. If I had known from the beginning I would not have gone out with him. I was 22 and he was 36 when we met. I have always been mature and kind of an old soul. I don't really see us now as having much of an age difference.

One of my best friends from work is in her late 50's. She has children older than me and the other girl we hangout with but sometimes I forget.

Age is just a number. Maturity level is what counts.

 

[Christine]

My DH is only 2 years older than me. When I was younger, in my 20s, I was really quite rigid about dating too far out of my "age bracket."

Now, I'm not "on the market" but I am 42 years old and work with many nice men that are in their 50s. If I was single I would have no problem dating someone that age.

I do agree with In A Hurry, though, about the aging factor. While I'm in my 40s and a 50-something seems fine, what about when I'm in late-50s to early-60s and my partner was in their 70s. I think there would be big difference in aging stuff. Not always, but in some cases.

Right now my mom is 61 (and a VERY youthful 61) and my stepdad is your "typical" 67 year old. My mom seems so much younger than him all of a sudden and, while I won't say it is causing marital problems, there are some issues.

 

[ceiligh1]

My DH and I are 4 years apart so not a big difference except he grew up listening to 80's music that I cant stand, but we can live with that. I have a cousin though who is my mothers age late 50's and has been married to her husband for over 30 years. He is 30 years older than her, in a wheelchair, doesnt speak much and has a lot of health issues. They are happy. Life wasn't always as hard as it is for them now and they had to overcome a lot of problems created by the difference in the past. But they love each other and that is all that counts really. Age is just a number and not a maturity or compatibility indicator.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I think that age makes a difference. You can meet and marry somebody way older and have a great marriage, but that person will most likely die way sooner and you will have many older years alone. This is not all cases and the younger person does die too, but in general this is the case. I would not want somebody that was more than a few years.