Advice on staying in a GV with 2 other familes.

[ilovesugar]

I will admit, it sounded like a great idea when we booked a GC for an upcoming trip for us, DH's two brothers and their familes. So 11 people in total. Well, now I am starting to panic that it is not going to go well with all those people in one room. I talked to DH this morning about splitting out into seperate rooms and he is not into that at all, he really wants to stay all of us together.

So any advice on how to not kill each other while staying in the same place for a week? If it were my family, this would not be a worry in the least. There are about 30 of us who regularly go to a place every other year and stay together for a week. DH's family is totally different, especially my SIL.

 

[twooley2]

let them do their own thing and tour seperatley than get together at dinner and discuss the days goings. We went with 12 people and it took 4 days to get everyone to go their own way

 

[ilovesugar]

let them do their own thing and tour seperatley than get together at dinner and discuss the days goings. We went with 12 people and it took 4 days to get everyone to go their own way

That is what I think too. Go our own ways. But neither of the families have ever been and they have NO CLUE what it takes to go to Disney. We are going in December and neither family has even booked their airline tickets, much less Disney tickets or even have a clue what the different kinds of Disney ticket there are. I try and tell them but they don't listen.

I think I am just going to have to go into it with the mind set of, fine your on your own. I'll be off having fun while you are trying to decide what to do everyday.

 

[Sandisw]

WE did a big family trip to the beach a few years ago. Before we went, we discussed that the trips were together but separate. Everyone was free to do their own thing and plans and if someone else wanted to join, great, but if not, that was fine too.

It was the same thing for dinners, etc. I think what really helped is that everyone was on board before hand and knew what to expect.

I think that would be the important piece. Plan a few key things together ahead of time, but then make it clear to everyone that the touring of the parks, staying at the resort, etc. needs to be flexible to allow all families to do what they want when, even if it means different parks.

Good luck!!!

 

[joandegennaro]

Sounds like your the provider of the lodging...if they don't want your experenced advice you can't force it on them. You could try and have an idea of what they expect from the vacation and give them one of what your family expects also. This way if one of the families just wants to hangout at the resort you know that when you leave for early EMH's they won't be upset that you left them behind because everyone will know what the other expects. Traveling with groups (especially family) can be difficult if the expectations are not clearly spelt out for everyone. I like how one poster put it. We are the DVC members and this is what we are doing each day..you are welcome to join us if you wish..or not if you wish. Maybe consider having something on the fridge that everyone can write on as to where and what they are doing each day. That way if someone returns from the parks early and sees that Family C has decided to hang by the pool and Family D has decided to cruise WS you can decide if you want to join either family.

 

[Granny]

That is what I think too. Go our own ways. But neither of the families have ever been and they have NO CLUE what it takes to go to Disney. We are going in December and neither family has even booked their airline tickets, much less Disney tickets or even have a clue what the different kinds of Disney ticket there are. I try and tell them but they don't listen.

I can see why you are panicking. I don't think having everyone in one villa is a problem as long as nobody feels like the whole group needs to do everything together. The advice on this thread is sound in that regard.

I think I am just going to have to go into it with the mind set of, fine your on your own. I'll be off having fun while you are trying to decide what to do everyday.

It sounds good in principle, but it doesn't seem like you're the kind to shrug off other people having frustrating vacations. Otherwise you wouldn't be stressed in the first place about the others.

But in truth all you can do is let them know that to have fun at WDW does require some planning especially for the first trip. If they choose to blatantly ignore your advice then you'll have to do as you indicate and just go your own way. But I'd hate to come back to my villa every night and have to listen to other families complaining about how hard it is to get into restaurants or high demand attractions.

 

[ilovesugar]

Sounds like your the provider of the lodging...if they don't want your experenced advice you can't force it on them. You could try and have an idea of what they expect from the vacation and give them one of what your family expects also. This way if one of the families just wants to hangout at the resort you know that when you leave for early EMH's they won't be upset that you left them behind because everyone will know what the other expects. Traveling with groups (especially family) can be difficult if the expectations are not clearly spelt out for everyone. I like how one poster put it. We are the DVC members and this is what we are doing each day..you are welcome to join us if you wish..or not if you wish. Maybe consider having something on the fridge that everyone can write on as to where and what they are doing each day. That way if someone returns from the parks early and sees that Family C has decided to hang by the pool and Family D has decided to cruise WS you can decide if you want to join either family.

Yes, we are providing the lodging. I love the idea of a sheet on the fridge, that would be a good thing to have.

I have told them that we are going to MVMCP one night and they are more than welcome to join us. But your right, I just need to make it very clear to them that we will be doing our thing and they are more than welcome to join us. But I am not going to plan their whole trip and then have them complain that they did not have any fun.

 

[ilovesugar]

I can see why you are panicking. I don't think having everyone in one villa is a problem as long as nobody feels like the whole group needs to do everything together. The advice on this thread is sound in that regard.

It sounds good in principle, but it doesn't seem like you're the kind to shrug off other people having frustrating vacations. Otherwise you wouldn't be stressed in the first place about the others.

But in truth all you can do is let them know that to have fun at WDW does require some planning especially for the first trip. If they choose to blatantly ignore your advice then you'll have to do as you indicate and just go your own way. But I'd hate to come back to my villa every night and have to listen to other families complaining about how hard it is to get into restaurants or high demand attractions.

You are very right. I am going to have to try really hard not to take it personally if people are not having a good time. But I have told them several times, starting back to when we booked it 5 months ago, that this is not a fly by the seats of your pants kind of trip. Especially your first time. I have told them how hard it is to get into restaurants, that you at least have to have an idea of what they want to do and see so that you can plan it, that there are going to be lots of people and they will be standing in some long lines.....it is as if they don't even hear me. So I don't know what else to do but just let them be. I think if they complain, my DH will have a few words to say to his brothers.

 

[crisi]

Since you stipulated not killing each other, bring duct tape. At the end of the week, set them free.

More seriously, I think this trip isn't about you - its about your husband and his brothers. Tell your husband that you are "letting go" and he is in charge of family wrangling. Follow his lead, bite your tongue, and start planning a vacation that doesn't involve extra people for next time. Try and have as good a time as you can, if they ask for your advice, give it, if they don't - enjoy the scenery or say things like "I think I'll go shopping, I'm not really in a Rock n Rollercoaster mood." Which sounds so much better than "that is a three hour line, I told you fools to get fastpasses!"

 

[castleri]

That is what I think too. Go our own ways. But neither of the families have ever been and they have NO CLUE what it takes to go to Disney. We are going in December and neither family has even booked their airline tickets, much less Disney tickets or even have a clue what the different kinds of Disney ticket there are. I try and tell them but they don't listen.

I think I am just going to have to go into it with the mind set of, fine your on your own. I'll be off having fun while you are trying to decide what to do everyday.

I see the possibility of some real problems here - starting with the chance they will cancel on you all together.

That said I would put together a written packet of information about how the tickets work and what they cost as well as suggestions on whether to get them from UT or Disney or some other ticket broker.

I would add info on the MVMCP as well.

You should also explain that airline tickets for that time of year could be an issue if they don't do something soon unless they decide to drive.

Since your husband wants to stay in the GV I guess getting a 2 BR and studio( if you could get them) wouldn't be an option so you wouldn't be out so many points if someone does cancel but I would make certain the other parties understand how DVC works and that it could be a real problem if they do cancel unless you have some friends or other family members who would like to fill in at the last minute.

Maybe you could get some of the park maps and give them those as well so they get some idea of the need to do some planning for what they want to do once they get there.

Maybe add a few menus copied from one of the web sites that include prices so they have ideas on that unless you are planning a lot of in room meals.

Once you give them the info just try to relax and plan what YOU and your family will be doing and hope for the best.
I wish you well and lots of pixie dust -

 

[ilovesugar]

I see the possibility of some real problems here - starting with the chance they will cancel on you all together.

That said I would put together a written packet of information about how the tickets work and what they cost as well as suggestions on whether to get them from UT or Disney or some other ticket broker.

I would add info on the MVMCP as well.

You should also explain that airline tickets for that time of year could be an issue if they don't do something soon unless they decide to drive.

Since your husband wants to stay in the GV I guess getting a 2 BR and studio( if you could get them) wouldn't be an option so you wouldn't be out so many points if someone does cancel but I would make certain the other parties understand how DVC works and that it could be a real problem if they do cancel unless you have some friends or other family members who would like to fill in at the last minute.

Maybe you could get some of the park maps and give them those as well so they get some idea of the need to do some planning for what they want to do once they get there.

Maybe add a few menus copied from one of the web sites that include prices so they have ideas on that unless you are planning a lot of in room meals.

Once you give them the info just try to relax and plan what YOU and your family will be doing and hope for the best.
I wish you well and lots of pixie dust -

I have given them all the information you suggested 5 months ago. Here is what I have done so-far:

I got them parks maps.

I sent them the allears website with the menus and told them to look them over and let me know if there was a place they wanted to eat because you needed to make reservations EARLY. I have told them this at least 4 times now and nobody has said a word.

Gave one family the website where we are renting our baby stuff from in case they wanted to order anything for their child.

Have given them very detailed information about tickets and how they work. I explained to them that they want to think about how many days they want to spend in the parks because that will drive what tickets are bought. I also just sent a reminder that tickets go up in price the first Sunday in August so they might want to think about getting them now.

Have given them information about MVMCP. What it is, how it works, and what the cost is.

Have talked to them several times about booking flights. Last week I wrote them and told them that we had already booked our flights and gave them our flight numbers and times.

I don't know what else I could possibly do for them. It is not this difficult with my family at all.

I will make sure that my DH talks to his brothers next week while they are away fishing and make it VERY clear that if they are not planning on coming, they need to let us know NOW. If they wait until the last second and then cancel, the fur is going to fly.

Like you said, the only thing I can do now is try and relax and plan my vacation.

 

[ilovesugar]

Since you stipulated not killing each other, bring duct tape. At the end of the week, set them free.

More seriously, I think this trip isn't about you - its about your husband and his brothers. Tell your husband that you are "letting go" and he is in charge of family wrangling. Follow his lead, bite your tongue, and start planning a vacation that doesn't involve extra people for next time. Try and have as good a time as you can, if they ask for your advice, give it, if they don't - enjoy the scenery or say things like "I think I'll go shopping, I'm not really in a Rock n Rollercoaster mood." Which sounds so much better than "that is a three hour line, I told you fools to get fastpasses!"

Although I would never say that, it just completely cracked me up.

 

[MinnieGi]

We have done several large trips with different family members. I do make a master schedule and let everyone know what OUR plans are for the day and if they would like to join us, that would be great but they are also free to do their own thing. I like the idea of posting it on the fridge! I'll have to remember that for next time.

Most of our trips we have friends and family along who are WDW veterans and know depending on ages of kids what area they want to hit first so usually our trips flow pretty freely. However its when we get those newbies along which sound like your situation that things get tougher. My in-laws went with us twice so far, the first time they stuck like GLUE to us for every second. Even though I gave them suggestions on fun stuff that just the two of them might want to do. The second time they were slightly better and even stayed for fireworks by themselves after we had to leave when our DS was having a melt-down. I'm not sure though how much they enjoyed the trip, they never commented one way or another.

For a weeks stay I also usually plan one or two meals where the whole group gets together. I do the calling to reserve those and advise the group. Depending who is going with same age kids as ours I also might make a character meal ADR and ask if anybody else is interested. I tell everyone that other ADR's they wish to do they must make themselves and also advice they need to do that ASAP if they wish to get their time. This has usually worked out okay.

Best wishes, it really can be a fun time!

 

[castleri]

I have given them all the information you suggested 5 months ago. Here is what I have done so-far:

I got them parks maps.

I sent them the allears website with the menus and told them to look them over and let me know if there was a place they wanted to eat because you needed to make reservations EARLY. I have told them this at least 4 times now and nobody has said a word.

Gave one family the website where we are renting our baby stuff from in case they wanted to order anything for their child.

Have given them very detailed information about tickets and how they work. I explained to them that they want to think about how many days they want to spend in the parks because that will drive what tickets are bought. I also just sent a reminder that tickets go up in price the first Sunday in August so they might want to think about getting them now.

Have given them information about MVMCP. What it is, how it works, and what the cost is.

Have talked to them several times about booking flights. Last week I wrote them and told them that we had already booked our flights and gave them our flight numbers and times.

I don't know what else I could possibly do for them. It is not this difficult with my family at all.

I will make sure that my DH talks to his brothers next week while they are away fishing and make it VERY clear that if they are not planning on coming, they need to let us know NOW. If they wait until the last second and then cancel, the fur is going to fly.

Like you said, the only thing I can do now is try and relax and plan my vacation.

Given all you have already done I would agree with PP who said turn them over to DH and then just let it all play out while you enjoy your own well planned trip.

 

[wdwnut]

Large groups are rough-you give them the park maps, Birnbaums, website addresses, etc. You try to have a meeting or two before the trip to see if there is a general consensus on how much together/apart time, restaurants, water parks, etc. You plan for your family's wants and let the plans be known to the others. If they want to join, fine. If not, fine. Make sure you have enough time apart. Find a good hiding spot- some of my favorites are: the balconies if no one is out there, the porch off the lobby at BWV, Bellvue Lounge, porch off the lobby at WL, second floor sitting area at WL, and the rocking chairs behind Community Hall at the BWV overlooking the canal. Remember, it's your trip too.

 

[JasonDVC]

This is an interesting thread. It seems as though some people think Disney is like Six Flags...you go that day, buy your tickets, go on rides, eat a hot dog, and go home. Disney is an all-encompassing resort and entertainment destination that requires pre-planning to be fully enjoyed and appreciated.

What I did this past year was give everyone a Yay or Nay deadline and texted them every month, then every week, then every day with a countdown that I had to know if they were in or not. It works that they get aggravated and give you an answer so that you stop texting. BTW...only 1 person backed out and we had a great pre-planned trip.

 

[bobbiwoz]

Is there someone in each of those other two family units with whom you are comfortable talking to about the trip? Of course, if no one has made any travel arrangements, you may find yourself with a lovely GV and the opportunity to be with people you are more comfortable vacationing with.

 

[ilovesugar]

Is there someone in each of those other two family units with whom you are comfortable talking to about the trip? Of course, if no one has made any travel arrangements, you may find yourself with a lovely GV and the opportunity to be with people you are more comfortable vacationing with.

I have been talking with both my SIL's about the trip.

It is in my DH's hands now. I have sent out everything that I can for them and if they chose to wait until the last second, I cannot help that. If they want my help, I am more than happy to help them. But I am not going to chase them down to make sure they are doing what they need to anymore.

 

[ilovesugar]

This is an interesting thread. It seems as though some people think Disney is like Six Flags...you go that day, buy your tickets, go on rides, eat a hot dog, and go home. Disney is an all-encompassing resort and entertainment destination that requires pre-planning to be fully enjoyed and appreciated.

What I did this past year was give everyone a Yay or Nay deadline and texted them every month, then every week, then every day with a countdown that I had to know if they were in or not. It works that they get aggravated and give you an answer so that you stop texting. BTW...only 1 person backed out and we had a great pre-planned trip.

I agree with your Six Flags comment. People just do not get how ecompassing Disney is, no matter how many times you tell them. They just don't get it, until they get there and then freak out.

 

[bobbiwoz]

I have been talking with both my SIL's about the trip.

It is in my DH's hands now. I have sent out everything that I can for them and if they chose to wait until the last second, I cannot help that. If they want my help, I am more than happy to help them. But I am not going to chase them down to make sure they are doing what they need to anymore.

You know, you said that it seemed like a good idea when you first offered, and I truly hope in the end, it will be a family vacation to be remembered for the good times!