advice on how to be gracious at my shower

[ez]

I am expecting a baby in 5 weeks, and my friends are having a baby shower for me on Sunday. I asked them not to, but they are anyway. They even took me to toys r us and forced me to register, and made me scan expensive items. A former neighbor who has moved a few hours away is driving over to attend. All in all, a big hairy fuss is being made.
I am almost 42 years old and have a 20 and a 10 year old. I love my friends dearly but I am not at all into this shower thing, I am just so focused on the pregnancy and delivery, it was kinda a rough pregnancy early on, and all the baby items seem so incidental to me, till I have the baby in my arms, I just don't care about any of that! I'm sure everyone on my street has been invited, and I imagine many people were shocked to find out I'm pg, I've been keeping a low profile. So how do I be wonderful and gracious and unself-conscious at my shower. I know I am so lucky to have friends that care about me so much, so how do I get up for this event. Any helpful hints???Thanks for any help you can give, I think I need an attitude adjustment here!

 

[grinningghost]

You're alot like me. (Sorry, but you are ).

My friends from work planned a big baby shower for me, and I was so dreading it, but alas, I went into pre-term labor, which they stopped, and I was on bed rest until baby day.

So I couldn't have the shower (the only good thing to come out of it). They wouldn't return their gifts like I asked, and instead a couple girls brought them to my home. Which was unnecessary, but sweet.

I just couldn't imagine myself being fawned over like that. I work really hard to keep a low profile and the thought of sitting there and opening presents and hearing all those "oohs and aahs" was more than I could handle.

 

[disykat]

Just try to remember they are fussing over the baby, not you! They wouldn't have just thrown YOU a party for no reason - it's all about the baby. Maybe looking at it that way will help.

 

[pat fan]

Try and think of it as giving your friends a gift instead of them giving you one.

I know how much fun it is to plan a baby shower, and I LOVE buying baby items and smelling all the good baby smells....I'm sure that is a lot of why they want to do it (and that they love you, too).Think of giving them have the pleasure of enjoying doing those things as a gift you are giving your friends. The fact that you have to sit there for 2 hours is beside the point

Good luck!

 

[DisneyArk]

Like the previous poster said, remember they are throwing the shower in honor of your new baby.

My mom had my brother when she was 41 (I was 18 and my sister was 14). I know all of her friends wanted to throw her baby showers. Just think how much fun your friends are having celebrating the birth of your baby. A lot of my mom's friends were too young to have grandchildren and so they really enjoyed planning for a baby since their kids were practically grown!

I hope you are able to enjoy yourself. Also remember to let them take pictures - this baby will want to know that it was welcomed by your friends and family! Resist the urge to say "been there done that already" on everything!!

Good luck on the delivery!

 

[AZ JazzyJ]

It's your bathroom, I think you can act any way you want too. Don't let your friends and neighbors tell you otherwise. What you do in your shower is no one else's business (well except maybe your plumber). Honestly I never really got the whole concept of scrubbing pregnant women and those who are getting married. I mean they are obviously old enough to take care of themselves in both of those instances so why do people insist on cleaning them in the shower? And I have never heard of anyone who got soap or shampoo which in my book are pretty much mandatory in all showers.

Jeff

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

I know this will probably sound ridiculous, but...smile and say thank you for a couple hours, then come to the DIS and vent (or brag about the cute baby stuff)!

Sorry I couldn't be more help.

 

[Serena]

Yep attitude adjustment. Ok, so you don't want a fuss. Your friends seem to need to fuss over you. Treat it as a party with all the people you like. Try to enjoy the love your friends are trying to give you and your precious baby. And remember, you get to go home at the end.

 

[Otto's Doll]

My DSisterinlaw had her second baby last December... 20 years after her first! My niece adores her baby brother and my brother is on cloud nine. My niece and I had a shower for her, and she wasn't thrilled at first either, but like someone said, it is really to share in the excitement and wonder of this new little blessing! Plus she got some great stuff!

 

[Lewski709]

I am so sorry. I know how you feel.

My SIL's threw me one and we don't even get along. I didn't want to be there. Truthfully though, I truly enjoyed it. Never had a bridal shower, hate them. But the baby stuff was so fun to go through alone ( I was on bedrest, so I had time to do it the next few days).

My DH and I got into a HUGE argument about people coming to the hospital after the birth. I caved, but almost moved out. For our second child, finally he agreed no hospital visitors except grandparents. Thank GOD! He has a large, bossy family.

For family functions now, I drink a glass of wine or two quickly while there or before I go....so I feel no pain. Too bad you can't do that.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

I begged, pleaded and threatened my friends not to give me a baby shower for my 3rd child. They said I could pick a date that was suitable to me or I could be surprised.

Well, I was embarrassed at the thought of having a shower. I felt I would look greedy etc. My mother said, "this baby deserves a shower with lots of love from friends and family just as much as your first two." So I just went with it. There wasn't much I could do about it. I really enjoyed myself and got things that I needed because I had sold everything.

Use your breathing exercises to breathe and relax. You just might have a great time. I really can sympathize with you. I just wasn't up for it either.

Lori

 

[m&m's mom]

AZ Jazzy J - You are a big silly!

 

[Kallison]

Just want to say best wishes on a safe delivery and healthy baby.

 

[Disney Doll]

How to be gracious??? Think of how lucky you are to have friends that love you and want to welcome your baby into this world.

As one who could never have children, I would give my right arm to be have your dilemma, and I am 42 years old.

Count your blessings.

 

[LauraR]

Yeah, I'd say a shower is just an expression of love and caring, for the baby AND you. Take all the love and caring that is offered to you in life. You may not need the baby stuff but you can never get too much love!

 

[browneyes]

My SO's SIL told me she was giving me a shower when I was pregnant both times (no asking about it). I get so overwhelmed being the center of attention, I almost had an anxiety attack at the first shower. Luckily, my mom showed up with my niece and nephew when I was about at my wits end and everyone made a fuss over them (they were 14 months old and 2 months old at the time). At my 2nd shower, I put my dd in the center of attention. She loves attention. She opened all the presents, and was the little darling of the day, everyone pretty much left me from being oohed and aahed over.

Have your 10 yo be the center of attention at the shower.

Oh, and if that doesn't work, pretend you're having contrations and the party can end early.

 

[poohandwendy]

relax, smile and have a great time. You are blessed to have such wonderful friends....

 

[AZ JazzyJ]

Originally posted by m&m's mom
AZ Jazzy J - You are a big silly!

I may be silly but at least I will be dry when the party is over.

Jeff

 

[kild]

The only advice I can give, and this goes against my normal advice, don't pee on thier legs.

 

[aprincessmom]

I know how you feel...in our family we don't throw a baby shower until after the baby has arrived. It's a family superstition and I was extremely grateful for it because it was a risky pregnancy.

My work wanted to throw a big one but I managed to explain to them that since the pregnancy was a bit risky to begin with, I'd feel more comfortable bringing the baby in after and they could all see/meet then and have a party to welcome the baby into the world. Luckily, they listened.

If they hadn't I suppose I would have been polite, thanked everyone for the gifts and discovered myself to be "very tired and physically uncomfortable" after about an hour or so and excused myself.

I sympathize with you...it's hard to be in a party mood when you are so focused and concerned on the baby, especially after a difficult early pregnancy.

Take care and best wishes for safe delivery and a healthy baby!