Advice for troubled marriage?

[raysnkaysmom]

Since I can't get advice around home or work, I thought I'd look to ya'll on the community board! A friend of mine wants my opinion on whether she needs to work things out with her husband...and I really don't know what to tell her!
Making this as short as possible, she just found out that while her and her husband were in the process of their divorce, he slept with her sister... Jerry Springer huh? According to her this was ongoing...but let me say, she isn't Miss Innocent. She chose the divorce when she met another guy (whom she dumped awhile back) and now her hubby is willing to work things out with her. Do you think he deserves a chance... ? He's giving her a chance, but he kept the sister thing a secret until a big blowup. I don't know what else to tell her except only her heart will show her if he's sincere, or if they are meant to be together.
What do ya'll think? Doomed marriage, or rebuildable??

 

[Disney01]

I think some people are a waste of air and space. Neither her husband or herself sound like they are worth it.

 

[jkovick]

I think you are between a rock and a hard place. Since there were "incidents" on both sides there is obviously serious problems. Unfortunately, which ever side you take you could be the wrong one. If it were me, I'd tell my friend that "I will listen and support you no matter what, but I can't make this decision for you." That way you won't damage the friendship if you take the wrong position. Good Luck.

 

[WeirdEyes]

I will probably get flamed for this, but it does sound too much like "Jerry Springer." If both of them have cheated and especially him with the sister, I'd say this marriage was over a long time ago. I just hope they don't have any children.

 

[binny]

Originally posted by jkovick
I think you are between a rock and a hard place. Since there were "incidents" on both sides there is obviously serious problems. Unfortunately, which ever side you take you could be the wrong one. If it were me, I'd tell my friend that "I will listen and support you no matter what, but I can't make this decision for you." That way you won't damage the friendship if you take the wrong position. Good Luck.

I think this is very wise advice!

 

[btass]

Get rid of the marriage, both parties are not commited to anything but themselves. Harsh, yes, but sometimes harsh is needed.

 

[aimee11621]

Neither of them are worth much in character.

 

[Micca]

I think it's fixable. If they both know the truth about what they each did, and if they really want to be together and can stay on the straight and narrow path, I think they have a good chance.

 

[Beauty]

I don't think either of them should be married! Whats to keep the same thing from happening again?

In a marriage if you don't have trust then you have nothing and I just don't see how there could be trust in this marriage.

 

[7thdwarf/dopey]

IMHO...two thumbs down.

 

[poohandwendy]

Doomed, and from the lack of maturity on both sides, I would say it was doomed from the start.

 

[~*Belle 2003*~]

Most definetly DOOMED!

 

[poohandwendy]

Just saw this:

I don't know what else to tell her except only her heart will show her if he's sincere, or if they are meant to be together.

I disagree with this advice...she needs to use her HEAD for a change.

 

[Lucky4me]

I think they sound perfect for each other.
I'd stay as neutral as possible.

 

[Deb in IA]

Neither one of these people are mature enough to be married. To each other, or to anyone else.

 

[snarfer1]

I usually think any marriage has the potential to be saved. But say they do get back together? What about the SIL, can't have part of the family, can't leave her out of the family...

Toooooooooo much baggage, the deck is way stacked against them!

(Please keep us up-to-date with more Juicy details!)



-Tony

 

[SC Minnie]

I am going to take a little different approach. I think the couple needs to go to marriage couseling. Although the marriage does sound doomed hopefully through counselling they will see where the problems came in and 'settle' some things. Hopefully they will learn how to not make the same mistakes again-- either with each other or their next partners after they divorce.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If they have kids they do need to go to counseling and work on things. Not necessarily "work things out" between them but work on being stable for their children.

If no kids, they should split up.

 

[Serena]

They both have serious problems. Whether they stayed married or not, they need counseling. On the other hand, they deserve each other.

 

[snoopy]

Yikes! Where is the sister nowdays?

I think a marriage could survive just about anything if both parties are willing to work on it, but I think the sister would have to be far removed from the situation for this one to work.