I would greatly appreciate some advice on a situation DF and I are in with his son who I will call DSS for the sake of this thread. Before I start, DF will be talking to his ex, not me.
We are concerned because my children are involved in this, DD is 7 and DS is 13. DSS is 11 and on the Autism Spectrum, with a diagnosis of Aspergers, ADHD, Oppositional Defiaint Disorder, Bipolar, and Rage-Anger Syndrome. DF has joint custody of his son and he has spent most of the summer with us, so we can "get him under control" according to his mom. He doesn't mind her. We don't see all the problems she describes, but he does have his moments, I will give him that, especially when we first get him back.
This is where our major concern is coming up. When DSS is at his mom's, he is allowed to play X-box from the time his feet hit the floor in the morning until he goes to bed at night, only stopping for meals. If he is not on the X-box, he is on the internet. He plays games rated M for Mature audiences. He can't differentiate the game from real life. These games are very graphic. Mom bought them from her sister for him, They have killing with guns, bow and arrows and throat slashing. Very bloody. He describes this in detail and comes to our house and tries to act these out on my kids
He has hit both kids on numerous occasions acting out these games. DS is old and big enough to stop this himself as he is a 150lb teenager and we have taught him how to help with DSS and his Autistic outburst. However, DD is a 43lb 7yo and cannot. DF said he did not play these games when he was in the house. He did not allow this. He also now watches R movies. He has told us the titles of movies he watches.
If DSS could tell the difference between fantasy and real life we would not be as upset about this, but we need a tactful way to approach mom to get these M game taken away from DSS.
At our house we do not use the video games for a baby sitter or to keep him out of our hair. We limit video game/computer time for all kids, make them play with toys or *gasp* go outside and play.
DSS is in a special needs school already for his behavior and we know if we get these games away from him it will help some of his violence. Any advice will be appreciated so DF can talk to his ex.
She is quite the mom of the year and calls us regularly because he is out of control for her, but we don't have the problems. She is not receptive to criticism and will even call me if she cant handle him. We do want him to come to live with us, as we think he will be better off here. She has went as far as calling this child _______ retarted. With the blank being the big bomb. We have it saved on DFs voice mail because he didn't know how to leave dad a message telling him good night.
We are concerned because my children are involved in this, DD is 7 and DS is 13. DSS is 11 and on the Autism Spectrum, with a diagnosis of Aspergers, ADHD, Oppositional Defiaint Disorder, Bipolar, and Rage-Anger Syndrome. DF has joint custody of his son and he has spent most of the summer with us, so we can "get him under control" according to his mom. He doesn't mind her. We don't see all the problems she describes, but he does have his moments, I will give him that, especially when we first get him back.
This is where our major concern is coming up. When DSS is at his mom's, he is allowed to play X-box from the time his feet hit the floor in the morning until he goes to bed at night, only stopping for meals. If he is not on the X-box, he is on the internet. He plays games rated M for Mature audiences. He can't differentiate the game from real life. These games are very graphic. Mom bought them from her sister for him, They have killing with guns, bow and arrows and throat slashing. Very bloody. He describes this in detail and comes to our house and tries to act these out on my kids
He has hit both kids on numerous occasions acting out these games. DS is old and big enough to stop this himself as he is a 150lb teenager and we have taught him how to help with DSS and his Autistic outburst. However, DD is a 43lb 7yo and cannot. DF said he did not play these games when he was in the house. He did not allow this. He also now watches R movies. He has told us the titles of movies he watches.
If DSS could tell the difference between fantasy and real life we would not be as upset about this, but we need a tactful way to approach mom to get these M game taken away from DSS.
At our house we do not use the video games for a baby sitter or to keep him out of our hair. We limit video game/computer time for all kids, make them play with toys or *gasp* go outside and play.
DSS is in a special needs school already for his behavior and we know if we get these games away from him it will help some of his violence. Any advice will be appreciated so DF can talk to his ex.
She is quite the mom of the year and calls us regularly because he is out of control for her, but we don't have the problems. She is not receptive to criticism and will even call me if she cant handle him. We do want him to come to live with us, as we think he will be better off here. She has went as far as calling this child _______ retarted. With the blank being the big bomb. We have it saved on DFs voice mail because he didn't know how to leave dad a message telling him good night.
you read my mind...
