Adoption Story on Today Show

[sparklynails23]

There's a story on the Today Show about a young man from Virginia whose girlfriend gave up their baby for adoption at birth. He showed up at the hospital to see the baby, but the adoption agency had whisked the baby off to Utah. Even though he filed for custody immediately in VA, he didn't know where his baby was until after Utah's waiting period to finalize the adoption had passed. He's been trying for almost 3 years to get the baby back.

IMO, this is no different from the guy who was trying to get his son back from Brazil. An adoption agency kidnapped this kid from his father and took her to another state. That dad deserves to have his baby back.

 

[AuntBJ]

I think in a case where there is a reasonable assumption who the father is, their deadline should not start until they are noticed that the child is placed for adoption. Utah's deadline seems too short for reasonable notice based on what I heard.

 

[shirleyb]

There's a story on the Today Show about a young man from Virginia whose girlfriend gave up their baby for adoption at birth. He showed up at the hospital to see the baby, but the adoption agency had whisked the baby off to Utah. Even though he filed for custody immediately in VA, he didn't know where his baby was until after Utah's waiting period to finalize the adoption had passed. He's been trying for almost 3 years to get the baby back.

IMO, this is no different from the guy who was trying to get his son back from Brazil. An adoption agency kidnapped this kid from his father and took her to another state. That dad deserves to have his baby back.

I didn't read or hear about the story, so I don't know any of the details, and while it's awful for the young man, I can't imagine it's in the best interest of the child to tear him/her away from his/her parents. Nor is it fair to the parents who have loved and cared for this child for the last 3 years.

 

[sparklynails23]

I didn't read or hear about the story, so I don't know any of the details, and while it's awful for the young man, I can't imagine it's in the best interest of the child to tear him/her away from his/her parents. Nor is it fair to the parents who have loved and cared for this child for the last 3 years.

He's been fighting for his daughter since day one. The adoptive family has known the situation and that he wanted her back for years, since she was at least four months old. IMO, they are complicit in kidnapping. A kidnapped child should be returned to her parents. It will be hard on the little girl, but it's the only right solution.

The attorney general of Utah said they will review the law, but the Utah supreme court has upheld the adoption. It's being taken to the Supreme Court.

 

[anniemae]

Its stories like this that give adoption a bad name. It seems like the bio father was kind of bamboozled. He apparently did not know his girlfriend gave up the child. According to him, they were either going to raise the child together, or he was going to raise the child alone. He did not know adoption was an option that his gf was considering. Ironically, they are now together and she also wants the child back, but she understands she gave up all rights when she signed the papers.

So sad for everyone involved.

 

[AuntBJ]

Just for everyone who didn't see the story, here is a link to a news article:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/13/AR2010041302445.html

 

[jrmasm]

Wow, that's really, really disturbing.

 

[Hannathy]

Maybe he should have thought of this BEFORE he got his girlfriend pregnant. Get the paper before you have the child. This is the way too many people want it. Then all birth certificates need a father and all "fathers" need to be held accountable for all children.

Was he listed on the birth certificate?

This is why if you have a son you need to point out if you get a girl pregnant she holds all the cards and can decide what happens to your child, not you, so choose your partners carefully.


In this case I think they should leave the child where it is at and move on with their lives.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

I don't think a 3 yr old child should ever be taken from the only home they have ever known. Talk about early childhood trauma. I can't imagine.

The authorities responsible for overseeing adoptions should have remedied this early on. If the man truly was fighting for the baby right from the get go then the baby should have been returned.

But not now.

 

[Allison]

I don't think a 3 yr old child should ever be taken from the only home they have ever known. Talk about early childhood trauma. I can't imagine.

The authorities responsible for overseeing adoptions should have remedied this early on. If the man truly was fighting for the baby right from the get go then the baby should have been returned.

But not now.

So, in other words, the adoptive parents who knew of this issue should just keep the child as long as possible and drag everything out as long as they can so they get to keep the child by default? Legalized kidnapping?

Jan and Roberta DeBoer tried that years ago and it didn't fly. Very similar situation.

 

[RachaelA]

Maybe he should have thought of this BEFORE he got his girlfriend pregnant. Get the paper before you have the child. This is the way too many people want it. Then all birth certificates need a father and all "fathers" need to be held accountable for all children.

Was he listed on the birth certificate?

This is why if you have a son you need to point out if you get a girl pregnant she holds all the cards and can decide what happens to your child, not you, so choose your partners carefully.


In this case I think they should leave the child where it is at and move on with their lives.

So his child was essentially kidnapped (and the state of Virgina agrees) and he should just move on because Utah is so outdated with their laws?

 

[RachaelA]

I don't think a 3 yr old child should ever be taken from the only home they have ever known. Talk about early childhood trauma. I can't imagine.

The authorities responsible for overseeing adoptions should have remedied this early on. If the man truly was fighting for the baby right from the get go then the baby should have been returned.

But not now.

He was fighting right away hence he filed for custody in Virgina within the legal time? The state of Utah decided it didn't matter. That doesn't make it okay.

 

[satorifound]

A friend of mine had to fight for three years to get her baby back in Utah. It is a more complicated story, but still.... Utah seems to favor the adoptive parents.

 

[Hannathy]

He was fighting right away hence he filed for custody in Virgina within the legal time? The state of Utah decided it didn't matter. That doesn't make it okay.

Was he on the birth certificate? Was he legally responsible for the child?

I haven't read it all but if he was on the birth certificate I think he would have had to sign. If he wasn't then his problem is with his girl friend and himself for not having legal rights to the child before it was born.

Actions have consequence in the real world.

 

[Hannathy]

A friend of mine had to fight for three years to get her baby back in Utah. It is a more complicated story, but still.... Utah seems to favor the adoptive parents.

As it should. There should be no changing your mind in adoption. You have time to think before and make up your mind. Once the paper is signed that should be it.

 

[jrmasm]

So his child was essentially kidnapped (and the state of Virgina agrees) and he should just move on because Utah is so outdated with their laws?

Exactly! The thought of changing custody of a 3 year old child is horrifying but he filed for custody 5 days after she was born! This matter should have been resolved years ago.

 

[jrmasm]

As it should. There should be no changing your mind in adoption. You have time to think before and make up your mind. Once the paper is signed that should be it.

Where does it say he signed anything? Where does it say he changed his mind? What the article says is that the biological mother hid the birth from him.

 

[Allison]

As it should. There should be no changing your mind in adoption. You have time to think before and make up your mind. Once the paper is signed that should be it.

Except the dad didn't have that chance because he didn't know it was happening.

 

[kellyg403]

Tough one. From the outside looking it, with only the information provided, the father has been fighting since the beginning. Everyone involved was aware.

I do have questions though. It sounds like the problem mostly revolves around different adoption laws in different states, which state has jurisdiction etc.

I would hope this situation could be resolved in a way that benefits everyone, including this little girl. I would be interested to know if there has been any contact at all. I see in the article it says he hasn't seen the baby, but are the adoptive family letting any type of contact.

This is a tough one. As another posted, its really difficult when you are not married and have a baby together. The State of VA will not allow you to place a fathers name if you are not married. The father has to file a document stating he is the father and then the birth certificate is changed to reflect he is the parent. That law has been on the books forever.

I am sorry for everyone involved. Hopefully everyone will get the chance to love this little girl.

Kelly

 

[Hannathy]

Except the dad didn't have that chance because he didn't know it was happening.

He had 9 months!

Chance he took when he got a woman pregnant that he couldn't trust.

The innocent child should not have to pay for their biological parents irresponsibility.