ACT IV: Snow White & the leather clad Pagens


<font color=red>aka Evil Emperor Zurg<br><font col
Nov 19, 2000
Evil Emperor Zurg reporting, our cast includes Zurgswife, Kelley 10, a pair of Buzzes 7 and 8 and Her Royal Majesty Delaney - Snow White - Cinderella - Jessie & Maleficent (DSWCJM) 3. Oh and a small group of leather clad Pagans too.

DSWCJM, as you may recall from ACT I, travels with here own wardrobe department. One of her, and therefore our, highest priorities is to visit the characters she puts on, (unless of course it is the first day at WDW when, in the Cinderella outfit, she wouldn't even look at Cinderella.)</p>

Possibly the most tightly controlled information on earth is Disney's schedule of Epcot character appearances. Not the furry guys; I'm talking real people like, Snow White.</p>

Anyone can get spy satellite photos these days. A FBI agent spies for the KGB. Even the Disney bus schedules are occasionally leaked, but apparently Snow White's schedule is beyond top secret.</p>

In the old days these character appeared in that country that they best represented. Belle and Cinderella hung out France. Aladdin & Co. were in Morocco, the UK - Mary Poppins, Germany - Snow White. This system was intuitive and an incentive for guests with kids to travel around the world showcase. Evidently this was a problem.

First the male characters vanished (Jafar was a blast!). Last fall the ladies were all herded over to the American pavilion. Now they use the furry character bus as a diversionary tactic. The USA greeting location, new at Halloween, is now a thing of the past. No one knows where Snow White is.

Delaney was in the Snow White persona. She was wearing THE DRESS. We needed to find Snow. We needed the Z.I.A.

The Zurg Information Agency tracks down characters. The ZIA employs similar tactics as their counter parts in the CIA; disguise, decption, arms for hostages - in short what ever it takes to get critical information.

To find Ms. White we asked CMs, used bribery, employed the cute girl seduction and finally followed did what anyone else would do - followed the Pagans.

We asked a lot of CMs where to find Snow White. Few have any idea, of those who guessed no two agree on the time or place. (Zurg suspects a DIS-information campaign.)</p>

Before leaving home we made little round Avery labels with pictures of the kids, wearing Mickey ears, to give to the CMs who give us similar sticker of Mickey. Adjusting our tactics we use these in an attempt to pry loose (a word that here means bribe) CMs for better information.</p>

Delaney bounces, runs and jumps like any 3-year-old and in THE DRESS she twirls around to spin the hem out. This is unbearable cute. Delaney is a CM magnet. She attracts the attention of a Disney photographer - some kind of a staff photo journalist not one of those ever present souvenir photographers.</p>

This CM has a few grand worth of way cool Nikons and is burning a lot of film of Delaney. Zurg considers that a staff photographer may know what is going on in the park such as who, a word that here means Snow White, will be where. After all isn't her job to take pictures of it? Zurg decides it is time for a little chat. He has Delaney give the photographer one of the bribery stickers and scores the definitive time and location of Snow's next appearance.

Gates left of Germany at 3:45. Score one for the Evil Emperor - what you think Delaney should get the credit just for being cute?

It was just bike week in Daytona and there are a lot guests in Epcot following up on the motorcycles fest with a trip to the Mouse. Arriving in Germany Zurg notices a group touring Epcot in Pagans leathers, chains, and boots. Nice look, probably hot in the Florida sun. Zurg finds a cape, basic black, more sophisticated.

Just then Snow White comes out the gate with her CM assistant. A crowd forms naturally and the Disney veterans know to start queuing up to meet Snow.

The Pagans attempt to cut the line! The crowd is uneasy but not exactly looking to rumble with certified specialists either. Now I am sure there are rules of etiquette at bike week I do not know, conversely there are niceties involved in character greeting. The CM points out line. The Pagans actually blush at their social faux pas. Where is the video camera when you need it?

Delaney had a great visit, she got an autograph, a kiss, on her face and a pose with Show White. </p>

Now some will see the moral of this story to be: do not judge people by there appearance. Nope: that is one of the truths that we are presumed to hold self-evident.

The moral is; Bribe the staff photographer. She knows Snow White's schedule.


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