? about 10 yr old on the Wonder cruise

[lisamac]

My family along with two other families will be going on the Wonder cruise next spring. There will be 3- 10 year old boys in our group. My dh and I disagree about how much freedom they should have on the ship.

He believes the three boys would be fine to go about the ship as long as they are together without adult supervision. I am concerned about allowing them that much freedom.

Any suggestions or thoughts about this?

Thanks!!!!

 

[staceymerrill]

Personally, I think 10 is too young to have free reign aboard the ship....12 would be the minimum age that I would let my child have this sort of freedom...

 

[cruisedis05]

My daughter was 9 when we went and she was allowed to sign herself in and out of the club. We had rules. 1. She had to tell them that she was leaving and they would then page me and let me know. I would then meet her in the room. 2. If she was to leave she had to go right to the room. She was not allowed to wounder about. Unless we said other wise (like meet us here at a time). She is very mature for her age.
I don't want this to sound rude but 3 10 year old BOYS I'm not sure about.

 

[neenermom]

...on his own. We did the June 4th Magic. He was able to sign himself in and out of the club as he wanted. However, he needed to let us know what he was doing and where he was going to be without fail. We also gave him charging privileges with limits. On the second at sea day, he left us after breakfast and we didn't see him again until dinner (I was nervous, but didn't panic). But we would get pages every time he changed location (in/out of the club, arcade, swimming, movie, etc.) and a couple of times, we checked on him to see if he was where he said he was. (He was.) As he made friends on the ship, we knew he would want to go where they were going and we wanted to give him a little freedom to make up his own mind. He's a typical 10 year old, but knew if he broke the rules we were going to come down on him.

Thursday night, he lost his mind in the arcade and told us. We cut him off on the charges and banned him from the arcade ("But I still have a card!")

You'll have to look at the three boys and decide for yourself how much freedom you think they can handle.

 

[aiken4mickey]

My 11 year old son found the arcade last May on our Wonder cruise. He managed to spend $100 in the arcade before I knew what had happened!! It is very easy for kids to get caught up in the use of the key card to get arcade cards. I cut him off right away....although $100 to late.....So, my recommendation is to either have NO charging prev. or make a clear understanding of what is allowed and what isn't. It was partly my fault.....we did not clearly dicuss what was allowed...but, surely he knew he was so wrong....I laugh about it now...heck...I might have done the same thing at his age. I allowed him to move about the ship as he pleased.....letting me know what his plans were and when we should meet up again. My 8 yr old daughter I watched more closly. We would get pages when she left as to where she was going..It is nice they can sign themselves in and out. My 5 yr old twins of course were signed in and out by me.....so, not having to do that with the others was a nice time saver. I am going again in Nov with my almost now 10 yr old daughter and some other mothers and daughters. I will continue to allow the signing in and out with myself being paged as to her plans....and I feel the girls traveling together will be fine.....I feel the ship is safe and don't have any worries.......I will have the spending talk with her....however, she and my son are very different so I have no worries she will "go crazy" in the gift shop or whatever. However, she might charge a rebooking to me..HaHa....that's how much we love the cruise.

 

[KewlxPink]

Just let them be.

But dont give them the card, unless they understand that it will be charged later.

But otherwise.. just let them be.. they'll be fine. It's all safe.

 

[ksjayhawks]

They should be fine. OUr ds11 was allowed to sign in and out. He had to tell the counselors where he was going in case we stopped by. We had rules about leaving notes in the room or at the club if plans changed--fior either of us. He had a watch and was expected to me us as planned. Rules broken--one more chance;second time--you are with us forever!

Never had any problems and they--he and new ffriends--loved the freedom. If they got hungry they could go get food or ice cream or pop. they could go up to the sports deck or to the pool or arcade---set limits there.

 

[videogal1]

Just let them be.

But dont give them the card, unless they understand that it will be charged later.

But otherwise.. just let them be.. they'll be fine. It's all safe.

It may be all safe for THEM but, as a teen yourself, you might not understand how the most innocent of unsupervised games, like pushing all the buttons on the elevator, can cause others not to have such a Disney time. Before you offer your advice in an adult discussion you might give the other participants an opportunity to judge for themselves whether or not to rely on your advice or, at least, just what your perspective might be.

 

[suzannef]

We were on the May 15th Wonder and we did not allow our nine year old daughter and niece sign out priveledges. They were fine with that and mostly preferred to be where we were anyway. If we were at the pool they could wonder around the same deck only and they had a great time. One night we were going back to our room for something on deck 8 and stumbled across a 10 year old girl that had signed herself out and was lost. She was not upset and seemed like a very intelligent and articulate kid but she had gotten her room number mixed up and we took her to the lab where they paged her parents for us to help her out. The very next night we found a biy about 7 in the elevator that was also lost and helped him out too. So....use your best judgement and do what you think is right but make sure the boys know where they are going. I'm sure its safe but wandering around lost on the floors where there are only staterooms is a little dangerous for kids.



Have a ball
Suzanne

 

[JSCTRico4]

My DS turned 9 on our 7 day cruise last Jan. In the second half of the week, we gave him some freedom. He went to a movie by himself. We would let him go to our cabin if we were at the pool, or vice versa. We made sure to discuss NOT going to anyones room under ANY circumstances, and of course the basic courtesy things. We had also given him a prepaid card for the arcade for his b-day, and he went there by himself. There is a way to give them freedom without letting them run fee and wild.... He also enjoyed being able to go up to Pluto's or scoops and getting food without having to "pay" for it....

 

[Memaw2Wm]

Last Fall we didn't give my 9 and 10 y.o. grandsons the privilege of checking themselves in and out of the club.

We felt that they would just get themselves in trouble ... pushing all the elevator buttons, racing up and down the halls, and so forth.

Instead if they decided they wanted to leave the club they had a counselor page me and I came and checked them out.

I'll be going again in December ... with the now 10 y.o. grandson and 9 y.o. granddaughter ... neither of them will have check-out or charge privileges as they are not ready for the responsibility.

 

[needalatte]

He was able to sign himself in and out of the club as he wanted. However, he needed to let us know what he was doing and where he was going to be without fail. We also gave him charging privileges with limits. On the second at sea day, he left us after breakfast and we didn't see him again until dinner (I was nervous, but didn't panic). But we would get pages every time he changed location (in/out of the club, arcade, swimming, movie, etc.) and a couple of times, we checked on him to see if he was where he said he was. (He was.)

This may be a silly question, but: It sounds like you can requests pages from the Kids Club when kids check in/out, but how did your son page you everytime he changed location? Did he go back to the Kids Club and page you? Or did you have your own system (walkie talkies or something) that you brought with you?

Our plan (for our upcoming cruise) is to start with a couple hours of "freedom" at first, (after a thorough tour of places the kids could and could not go and some rules about behavior), and increase (or take away) that time accordingly. We will all be expected to leave written messages and check-in regularly. Are there any other guidelines you would recommend, based on your experiences?

 

[challada]

I took away my DS's (10) charging privledges but allowed him the sign in/out privledges...our rule was that he had to leave me a note on our whiteboard where he was at all times. He hung out w/a couple of other same age boys and all they did was club or swim (and eat ice cream). Of course, I fully trust my 10 yo not to "push all the elevator buttons" as he is far more mature than that (and I watched him get very frustrated w/a younger boy who did that on our elevator early on...even having to ask the boys DAD to make him stop).

One thing I knew, was that my child could not get OFF the boat. He was with us on all shore excursions and ports. He was not to speak to adults other than CMs, our family, or the other parents we identified clearly. My fear was never in the choices my child would make, but rather in the choices of adults on the boat.

 

[barkley]

please don't slam me for my opinion-i appear to be the odd man out on this.

i would no more allow my 11yr old daughter and 8 1/2 year old son to roam the cruise unsupervised than i would allow them to do so in a large hotel.

my position is: while your child may be well behaved and responsible and cautious-not everyone else on the cruise may be. it is simply too easy for kids to get caught up with some other not so well behaved kids and end up in a dangerous situation. there is far to much easy access to alcohol on board (many passengers bring coolers of beer and wine coolers to their staterooms) that they may not keep as guarded from their kids as one would hope. i've seen young teenagers obviously under the influence of alcohol engaging in dangerous activities with younger kids (tweens). i've also (very sadly) read the teen postings on other cruise boards wherein they openly share tips on how and where to get alcohol, and have sexual encounters-some with specific goals of "how many will happen" (and yes, some of these kids indicate they will be on disney cruises.

i think people get an overwhelming sense of security because it's a disney cruise, and disney is very good at screening their staff. disney does not however, screen their guests. that said-it only takes one sick minded person given the right opportunity, and a tragedy could result.

lastly-be aware that disney does not permit the behaviour of minors to impede on the cruising enjoyment of other passengers. parents and children will be given a warning, however repeated acts of running unsupervised in public areas, elevator racing, rowdy-noisy behaviours will result in disney mandating that a minor be in the company of thier parent 24/7 (and that includes exclusion from the kids and teens programs). i witnessed a parent arguing with a senior staff member regarding this on our last cruise-the parent was told to abide by it or the entire family would be removed from the ship at the next port (yes, they can do it-read the fine print in your cruise docs).

whatever you decide to do-base it on your childs level of responsibility, maturity and awareness. do what you think is the safest and best for everyone concerned.

 

[aprilgail2]

please don't slam me for my opinion-i appear to be the odd man out on this.

i would no more allow my 11yr old daughter and 8 1/2 year old son to roam the cruise unsupervised than i would allow them to do so in a large hotel.

.

You are not the odd man out....I totally agree with everything you posted but no matter what yours or my feelings are on it there are still people who are goin to say "well my kid is mature enough" and let them do what they are going to do.....sure THEIR kid may be mature enough but the group of other kids they meet up with in the hallway may not be...and who's to say there is not pedophile walking around the ship....pedophiles/sex offenders are not creepy guys who lurk in corners..they are husbands, fathers, grandfathers mothers etc....and I am not willing to take the chance that my child will have a chance encounter with one of them simply to make it easier on me by not having to go to the club and sign them out!

 

[barkley]

thanks for your support-it should also be pointed out that a great many sexual molestations occur between older and younger children (often time same sex). it just makes me very uneasy with the number of passengers who book a second cabin for the express purpose of being able to have the adults in one and the kids in the other, god know what could go on in those unsupervised cabins. add to this combination girls 13 and up dressing much older and "looking for some cute guys to hang out with"-i've seen too many posts on the other cruise board's teen site (it is frightening, the "mile high club" mentality of some of the repeat cruising kids) -I feel people are asking for trouble.

granted, what 15 or 16 year old wants to spend the whole trip tied to their parent-but the same common sense mechanisms should be enforced on the boat that are at home: you let me know where you are, who you are with, what you will be doing. what is your friend's name, their parent's cabin number? treat someone's stateroom like you would a car-don't go into one with a stranger (or that "friend" you've only known for 2 days). have a curfew on board just as you would at home and designate some areas as off limits without your parent in tow.

 

[suzannef]

One only needs to watch the news to whole heartedly agree with the two previous posters!! No flaming here. Vacations should be fun but more importantly safe.


Suzanne

 

[challada]

Yes, I would be wary of pedophiles on the boat...which is why my child was directed not to even speak to adults other than family or CMs...however, as someone who works w/abused kids, I can tell you that the majority of sexual offenses are from predators that a child is RELATED to (ie, dad, grandpa) than total strangers.

As I said before, my 10 yo boy is mature enough to get signing in/out privledges. He has no interest in girls and we can discuss any subject, so I feel confident he would not be doing some of the teenage behaviors mentioned. Now, when he is 15, he may have to be tied to my ankle while we are on the boat, but for now, as I previously stated, I had full confidence in him. Never was there a time where I did not know where he was and who he was with...nor did I give him these freedoms for my own convenience, but rather a privledge he had earned.

 

[CarolAnnC]

The guideline I usually recommend to use, is consider if you would allow your child to visit the local mall without adult supervision. If there is a maturity level, and the ability to take care of oneself alone, then by all means. I personally preferred to err on the side of caution and did not allow my girls such freedom for late hours till they were well in their teens. I trust their judgement implicitly, however, I do not trust the unknown who may be lurking for an opportunity. They were free to explore the ship during the day, together, but I set a curfew for the evening.

While spending a couple of hours at the adult pool, we counted 8 children, some alone and some in pairs, who attempted to either enter the adult pool, or just the general area. They were all under age 12 and unaccompanied by any adults. One cute little boy enjoyed riding the elevator as the official button presser, lol. But, it was annoying when we received hang up calls 3 times in our stateroom. No idea who it was, but it seemed to coincide with when we placed our privacy sign on the door in order to shower for dinner.

So, I can only speak for myself, and I feel I did the right thing by making sure my girls were as safe as possible on board ship.

 

[Memaw2Wm]

Couple of summers ago my girlfriend was on an Alaskan cruise with her hubby and two teenaged boys (17 & 14). They had given the boys pretty much free run of the ship as they are responsible kids.

However she came back to the stateroom unexpectedly one afternoon and caught the 17 y.o. with a girl in a "compromising" position ... they weren't having sex but were very close to it. Needless to say she was quite upset.

So even responsible/good teens can make irresponsible choices.