December99
<font color=orange>WDW Antenna Topper Queen</font>
- Joined
- Aug 25, 1999
- Messages
- 3,384
A year ago today my life changed as I never imagined it would, not at this stage in my life. My mom passed away on this day a year ago and I have learned many things I thought I wouldn't learn until I got older.
I learned that she was a pillar of a lot of my strength - although I never would have admitted it.
I learned a lot about breast cancer and other cancers and what it does to a persons body and how much it really does hurt those that love you.
I learned that doctors really are and can be compassionate about their patients and their families.
I learned that I can be that pillar of strength for others and need to be because I'm not a selfish person.
I learned that I really can stick up for myself and my beliefs and let others know that although I'm hurting, I'm okay.
I learned that there really IS life after death and that they come back to us in mysterious ways and as items you would have never believed - and more beautiful than they ever were.
I learned that people can forgive, if even after 13 years of not speaking.
I learned that my brother can get along on his own - and I think he has learned this also.
I learned that it really is okay to cry - no matter where you are or what you are doing because it strikes you out of nowhere.
I learned alot about myself this past year. I have gotten through the firsts - the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas, my first birthday without her, the first Mother's Day, her first birthday, and now today and the rest of this week. It took us a week before we could have her service. That was a very hard week. I woke up this morning thinking and feeling just like I did a year ago (I took today off of work so I could have time to myself if needed and I'm glad I did) - like a freight truck had just hit me. We started the time off thinking she had a heart attack and that was what killed her and found out 4 weeks later that it indeed was the breast cancer that had spread and had taken it's toll. We think she knew but she didn't let on to anyone. Just little things that she had done up to (after finding out through the course of this year) 6 weeks before she died - people she wrote to, people she told she loved them and how special they were to her, people she gave things to. But my brother and I had no clue she was doing these things - we found this out after she had passed. She didn't suffer, she went quickly - for that I am thankful every day as I see my aunt suffering weekly with lung cancer. It could have been worse - God had his plan and he had it all laid out. I think she did too. I'm thankful for the time I was with her as her daughter, I wish I could have been a better daughter when I was growing up - I wish I could have told her that before she died. But I know she knows.
My brother and my dad have spoken, just in the last few weeks while we were on vacation, and they have not spoken in 13 years. I hope this is for good and I hope it wasn't a move on my brother's half because he wants something. But I know mom is happy now....my brother made the first move.
Thanks to all of you who have helped me through this first year - it's been a tough one but having those that understand and those that I love help me through it has been a tremendous lifesaver. And I just needed to say.....<B>THANKS</B>!
I learned that she was a pillar of a lot of my strength - although I never would have admitted it.
I learned a lot about breast cancer and other cancers and what it does to a persons body and how much it really does hurt those that love you.
I learned that doctors really are and can be compassionate about their patients and their families.
I learned that I can be that pillar of strength for others and need to be because I'm not a selfish person.
I learned that I really can stick up for myself and my beliefs and let others know that although I'm hurting, I'm okay.
I learned that there really IS life after death and that they come back to us in mysterious ways and as items you would have never believed - and more beautiful than they ever were.
I learned that people can forgive, if even after 13 years of not speaking.
I learned that my brother can get along on his own - and I think he has learned this also.
I learned that it really is okay to cry - no matter where you are or what you are doing because it strikes you out of nowhere.
I learned alot about myself this past year. I have gotten through the firsts - the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas, my first birthday without her, the first Mother's Day, her first birthday, and now today and the rest of this week. It took us a week before we could have her service. That was a very hard week. I woke up this morning thinking and feeling just like I did a year ago (I took today off of work so I could have time to myself if needed and I'm glad I did) - like a freight truck had just hit me. We started the time off thinking she had a heart attack and that was what killed her and found out 4 weeks later that it indeed was the breast cancer that had spread and had taken it's toll. We think she knew but she didn't let on to anyone. Just little things that she had done up to (after finding out through the course of this year) 6 weeks before she died - people she wrote to, people she told she loved them and how special they were to her, people she gave things to. But my brother and I had no clue she was doing these things - we found this out after she had passed. She didn't suffer, she went quickly - for that I am thankful every day as I see my aunt suffering weekly with lung cancer. It could have been worse - God had his plan and he had it all laid out. I think she did too. I'm thankful for the time I was with her as her daughter, I wish I could have been a better daughter when I was growing up - I wish I could have told her that before she died. But I know she knows.
My brother and my dad have spoken, just in the last few weeks while we were on vacation, and they have not spoken in 13 years. I hope this is for good and I hope it wasn't a move on my brother's half because he wants something. But I know mom is happy now....my brother made the first move.
Thanks to all of you who have helped me through this first year - it's been a tough one but having those that understand and those that I love help me through it has been a tremendous lifesaver. And I just needed to say.....<B>THANKS</B>!
