A Vacation From My Problems (A Sept. 2010 Trip Report) - COMPLETED 12/14

[Wherem I Now]

That has got to be one of the best ride descriptions that I have ever read!

 

[glennbo123]

Yes. But it's so obvious, I'm just giving a 1/2 point for that one.

+0.5

At least it partially makes up for my flub of the "Laugh it up, fuzzball" line.

 

[glennbo123]

That's a great writeup, Captain. I really laughed at the "maybe it wouldn't be as bad as Splash Mountain" line!

 

[mom3sonstt]

“You would have hated it,” I said. I don’t think my voice cracked.

I love the re-telling of your adventure! Personally - I love TofT - but you can not get me on a ride where your feet dangle. I do Soarin' - but I do not move. If I have something under my feet I am ok - but if my feet are loose I think I will just slide out the bottom.....to a painful and unwelcom death

 

[Rental01]

... explanation of the ride of death ...

You forgot the addendum to rule 46 - if you have no shame, you can drop out and go have a turkey leg. They don't allow those on the rides anyway.

Seriously, there's no way I'm going to do that. I rode a "sky-drop" style ride in Denver at (what used to be) Six Flags there once with my daughter when she was 9. It was the most terrifying ride I've ever experienced. As I got off the ride I looked at my little girl and said, "Thanks for the experience. Never again. Go and have fun!" (yes, at 9 she was tall enough to ride by herself)

The defining principle of a man is that he knows his limits and is willing to stand by them. That is my limit.

 

[dvczerfs]

I rode the Tower of Terror for the first time in 2006. Why is that significant? Because I hate drops. HATE them. As much as Indiana Jones hates snakes, or kids hate vegetables. I hate the freefall sensation, feeling like I'm going to come out of the car. Since I may or may not be wimping out on ToT in 2010, I figured I'd post a write-up I did of my experience in 2006. My wife asked me to journal the trip for her scrapbook, so this comes from that journal.

Also, I didn't intentionally quote any movies when writing this up.

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We are often told that in order to truly live, we need to step out of our comfort zones from time to time. We need to take chances. Challenge ourselves. Seek new adventures. Which is how it came to be that I allowed myself to experience a 13-story drop in an elevator shaft.
4 times. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Disney’s Hollywood Studios (formerly Disney-MGM Studios) is a theme park modeled entirely on the business of movie-making, with an eye towards the nostalgia of golden-age films. Walking through the main entrance, it feels as though you’re taking a stroll through Hollywood in the 1940’s. As with everything Disney, the attention to detail is superb.

Our friends joined us once again in the early going, and did exactly what I hoped they wouldn’t: turned right and headed straight for the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror.

Look, my friend Jay is a really nice guy. I haven’t met a single person who doesn’t like him. He’s one of those true friends you find maybe three times in your life—the kind of guy who would do anything for you, at any hour of the day, without passing judgment on you. He’s also annoyingly good at everything he does, builds his own machines, does his own house and car repairs, and runs marathons. I suddenly feel disturbingly inadequate.

Anyway, he’s also a thrill-seeker of the highest order, and will get on any amusement park ride without fear. Including the Tower of Terror. My natural reaction is to say, “More power to ya, buddy. See you when you emerge, hopefully intact.” But I didn’t count on one problem: he is raising a family of thrill-seekers. And his kids are friends with my kids.

This became an issue when Jay announced he was going on the ride, and his 8-year-old daughter, Amanda, decided to join him. This made my unsuspecting daughter, Sarah, feel safe in trying this ride (I still can’t believe she met the height requirement). Rule No. 46 in the Hairy-Chested Red-Meat-Eating Football-Loving Testosterone-Fueled Masculine Man’s Handbook clearly states that you cannot wimp out on a ride if your 4-year-old daughter and her 8-year-old friend are riding it with your buddy who will taunt you mercilessly if you bail on it. So Julie and Sarah got in line, and I reluctantly trudged through the doors behind Jay and Amanda. I tried to convince myself that maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as Splash Mountain. After all, I’d be looking out and not straight down as I fell, and not looking at the distance I have to drop might make it easier.

This is like saying holding your nose makes the lima beans taste better, only with much more danger involved.

The Disney Imagineers that designed and built this (hellish torture chamber) attraction earned their pay three times over. The level of detail and atmosphere is stunning. The building is designed as a decrepit hotel from the early 1900’s. Everywhere you look, you see what was once a gorgeous lobby in a five-diamond resort covered in dust, cobwebs and decay. Apparently, there used to be a magnetic directory where the some of the letters had fallen to the bottom to spell “Evil Tower UR Doomed”, but then some Disney uppity-up called for its removal. Now why would you take that out?

I cast a glance at Sarah, and she was doing fine thus far. A slightly sinister-looking hotel bellhop motioned us into the study for the pre-show. We wandered in, they shut the door, a huge thunderclap sounded and the room went dark.

And Sarah was now done with the ride.

The TV in the corner of the room flickered to life, and black-and-white images of Rod Serling introducing you to the Twilight Zone played across the screen. Sarah would have none of it. She grabbed Julie, holding on for dear life. Honestly, I can’t say I blame her. In retrospect, allowing a 4-year-old to walk into a ride based on the Twilight Zone may not have been my most brilliant decision.

We moved on to a basement area full of ancient elevator machinery made to look like it had seen better days. When we got to the head of the loading area, Julie asked to take Sarah out, and the cast members helpfully directed them to the bailout exit. I was secretly pleased. It was the perfect way to get out of subjecting myself to this ride. The old blame-your-kid routine. Every parent knows this trick.

Jay and Amanda stayed in line.

I was stuck. Rule 46(b) of the Handbook says that even if your daughter bails on the ride, you cannot wimp out if your buddy’s 8-year-old is riding it, or you will be subject to the merciless taunting outlined above. I hung my head, resigned to my fate.

We piled into the “elevator”, which is really an ingenious ride vehicle custom-designed by Disney. Another sinister bellhop ran down the rules about seatbelts, etc. and told us to enjoy our stay at the hotel as he stepped out. Then, just as the doors were closing, he turned and said, “Oh, one more thing, very important—”

Slam. The doors shut. Classic.

The elevator rose a few floors, and then opened to reveal a hotel hallway. As the story goes, some guests were trapped in a lightning storm in the elevator, and have been haunting the hotel ever since. We saw some lightning through the window at the end of the hallway, and then the ghosts appeared. They sang an eerie nursery rhyme, and then disappeared in a flash of more lightning. And then it got weird.

The window at the end of the hallway began to float towards us. Everything else went dark. Then, the doors closed and Mr. Serling informed us that we were now entering the Twilight Zone, and all bets were off (my paraphrase). As if to underscore this point, the doors opened and we looked out into a strange landscape of lights and stars. Then, the elevator car moved out of the shaft and into this landscape.

I gotta tell ya, the effects were amazing. Incredible imagination and thought went into this attraction. Sitting in the middle of a family-friendly theme park in Florida, I felt like I was going to die. My heart was jackhammering at about 1500 beats per minute.

Things went completely dark, the car stopped moving, and then, right on cue, the doors opened and we were looking out over the rest of the park. You know that drop is coming. Your heart is pounding, and you tense your muscles waiting for the plummet. And Disney knows you know it, so they tease you by just dropping you an inch or two at first.

I’d like to find the Imagineer who thought of that trick, and punch him in the face.

Or her. I don’t want to be discriminatory.

I barely had time to imagine that satisfaction, however, because we suddenly dropped like an anvil chasing Wile E. Coyote. Remember how I psyched myself up, saying that this drop wouldn’t feel as bad as Splash Mountain did the day before?

Well, I’m an idiot. Splash Mountain is a hammock on a Caribbean beach compared to this. I don’t know what I was expecting, but suddenly my spleen was carving a hole through my brain. The drop only lasts a couple of seconds, but the disorientation lasts longer. It subsides right about the point where you realize they’ve hoisted you back up 13 stories in the air again.
That’s right, some genius decided one drop wasn’t enough. Not only that, but he programmed the ride to be random, so you have no idea when the insanity will end.

That guy deserves a kick in the groin. And if it was a woman, well…she can have something unpleasant, too. Maybe I should just strap them to their own ride.

We hung suspended for a moment, and then dropped toward the floor again (I learned later that you are actually being pulled to the ground, making the drop even faster than the rate at which gravity would cause you to fall). Then it was back up again for two more drops—only this time, they shot us up as fast as we had fallen, giving us a brief sensation of weightlessness at the top (or more accurately, the feeling you would fly through the roof of the ride). I tried to make sure my screams were in a manly octave.

Staggering out of the car, I did a brief check to make sure my intestines and other vital organs were still inside me. We met up with the rest of the family waiting on a bench outside, and Julie asked me how it was.

Rule 83 of the Handbook requires a man to be stoic in the face of adversity, suffering silently in order to project an image of strength and safety to the family under his care.

“You would have hated it,” I said. I don’t think my voice cracked.

mark buddy, todays your lucky day!!!! i happen to know a gentlemen who, worked for the company who designed the "elevator" in that attraction. he is a fine gentleman who in his retirement, is now a building inspector. i wont post here any of the "tactics" that are used in that ride, but, i know your an engineering and how is it made type of guy like myself and i would be more than happy to tell you what he told me. after you know how it works, i can assure you, you will go on the ride everytime you enter hollywood studios (aka m.g.m) and not sceam like a little girl anymore. as far as kicking him in the groin, hes in his late 50s and, i can be wrong, but i think hes a 3rd degree black belt. (not sure of the degree) after i here black belt, thats good enough for me.

 

[afwdwfan]

I rode the Tower of Terror for the first time in 2006. Why is that significant? Because I hate drops. HATE them. As much as Indiana Jones hates snakes, or kids hate vegetables.

As much as you hate Beverly?

Julie asked to take Sarah out

You forgot the rule about being the gentleman and offering to sit out with the scared daughter so nobody else has to miss out on this exciting ride experience.

 

[All7OfUs]

Beautful write-up!! Just awesome! Just like the parks, it's all in the details.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

That has got to be one of the best ride descriptions that I have ever read!

I appreciate it Mike! There's always that second of hesitation before I hit the "post" button, hoping you guys will think it's funny and not stupid! Or at least, stupid but still funny.

At least it partially makes up for my flub of the "Laugh it up, fuzzball" line.

That's the spirit! Stay positive!

That's a great writeup, Captain. I really laughed at the "maybe it wouldn't be as bad as Splash Mountain" line!

Like I said, I'm an idiot.

I love the re-telling of your adventure! Personally - I love TofT - but you can not get me on a ride where your feet dangle. I do Soarin' - but I do not move. If I have something under my feet I am ok - but if my feet are loose I think I will just slide out the bottom.....to a painful and unwelcom death

And I could ride Soarin' all day long. It's funny how different people are.

You forgot the addendum to rule 46 - if you have no shame, you can drop out and go have a turkey leg. They don't allow those on the rides anyway.

Seriously, there's no way I'm going to do that. I rode a "sky-drop" style ride in Denver at (what used to be) Six Flags there once with my daughter when she was 9. It was the most terrifying ride I've ever experienced. As I got off the ride I looked at my little girl and said, "Thanks for the experience. Never again. Go and have fun!" (yes, at 9 she was tall enough to ride by herself)

The defining principle of a man is that he knows his limits and is willing to stand by them. That is my limit.

Mmmm...turkey legs...

I'm glad you're with me on this one. My daughter rode a similar Free-fall ride at the Del. State Fair this summer and loved it--so we said she would probably like the Tower of Terror this time around. At the time, she said she would do it...but only if I rode with her.

I like your phrase about a man knowing his limits. I agree. And you can't call us cowards, because we did ride the infernal things once.

mark buddy, todays your lucky day!!!! i happen to know a gentlemen who, worked for the company who designed the "elevator" in that attraction. he is a fine gentleman who in his retirement, is now a building inspector. i wont post here any of the "tactics" that are used in that ride, but, i know your an engineering and how is it made type of guy like myself and i would be more than happy to tell you what he told me. after you know how it works, i can assure you, you will go on the ride everytime you enter hollywood studios (aka m.g.m) and not sceam like a little girl anymore. as far as kicking him in the groin, hes in his late 50s and, i can be wrong, but i think hes a 3rd degree black belt. (not sure of the degree) after i here black belt, thats good enough for me.

Well, I would absolutely love to know how it all works. That would be endlessly fascinating to me! I'm afraid, however, that knowing all of that would still not prevent me from screaming like a little girl on ToT.

Black belt, huh? Um....I was just kidding about that whole "kick in the groin" thing...

As much as you hate Beverly?

Even that much, yes!

You forgot the rule about being the gentleman and offering to sit out with the scared daughter so nobody else has to miss out on this exciting ride experience.

You're right, I did! Actually, I wasn't sure which rule superseded which. I suppose it's my fault for not going through the appropriate by-laws before the trip.

Beautful write-up!! Just awesome! Just like the parks, it's all in the details.

Thanks Liesa! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

 

[3timesmom]

Ooops...I don't know any movie quotes ( well, except maybe the "once in a far away galaxy... one), maybe it's because I live in Brasil and it would take me hours to translate all the dialogues..... but your trip report ROCKS!!! I'm waiting for updates, you are so funny, couldn't stop reading...

PS: Sorry for the grammar/spelling errors,please feel free to correct them! Maybe I'm finally going to learn english....

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Ooops...I don't know any movie quotes ( well, except maybe the "once in a far away galaxy... one), maybe it's because I live in Brasil and it would take me hours to translate all the dialogues..... but your trip report ROCKS!!! I'm waiting for updates, you are so funny, couldn't stop reading...

PS: Sorry for the grammar/spelling errors,please feel free to correct them! Maybe I'm finally going to learn english....

Thanks for joining in, and your English is terrific!

 

[dvczerfs]

Thanks for joining in, and your English is terrific!

her english, grammer and spelling is better than mine and i had 12 years of english class.

 

[trennr]

Thanks for joining in, and your English is terrific!

Che beter nto raed my TR...it wlil jst cnfse U on how to s-p-l anythng n englich.

 

[trennr]

I rode the Tower of Terror for the first time in 2006. Why is that significant? Because I hate drops. HATE them. As much as Indiana Jones hates snakes, or kids hate vegetables. I hate the freefall sensation, feeling like I'm going to come out of the car. Since I may or may not be wimping out on ToT in 2010, I figured I'd post a write-up I did of my experience in 2006. My wife asked me to journal the trip for her scrapbook, so this comes from that journal.

Also, I didn't intentionally quote any movies when writing this up.

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We are often told that in order to truly live, we need to step out of our comfort zones from time to time....

“You would have hated it,” I said. I don’t think my voice cracked.

Wuss

 

[dvczerfs]

Che beter nto raed my TR...it wlil jst cnfse U on how to s-p-l anythng n englich.

i didnt have any problem figuring out what you wrote down. now onced. now onced is a pa. dutch saying like the south uses ya'all. we also dont put a t in water, its a d, and add an r, warder.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

her english, grammer and spelling is better than mine and i had 12 years of english class.

Che beter nto raed my TR...it wlil jst cnfse U on how to s-p-l anythng n englich.

Me talk good 2.

Wuss

-1

Just kidding. But go wash your mouth out with Beverly.

i didnt have any problem figuring out what you wrote down. now onced. now onced is a pa. dutch saying like the south uses ya'all. we also dont put a t in water, its a d, and add an r, warder.

In Slower Lower Delaware, it sounds more like "wooder."

 

[FreezinRafiki]

You forgot the rule about being the gentleman and offering to sit out with the scared daughter so nobody else has to miss out on this exciting ride experience.

Didn't you see? His wife beat him to that!


Mark - I've read it before, but again, it's a great write up. Completely wrong, but great none the less!

 

[MissLiz]

And that write-up, my friend, is why nobody could pay me enough to ride Tower of Terror. Not gonna happen. Ever.


And what's wrong with us saying y'all? It's really a word, right?

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

(I like that gate better than the Sorcerer's Hat. Don't tell anyone)

This was Wednesday of our week, and it was already beginning to sink in that the vacation was already past the halfway point. I'm not really sure how that happened. It felt like we'd been in Florida for about 2 days. I know that time speeds up when you're in a dream, and apparently it does when you're on vacation as well.

This was (finally) a non-EMH day. When I was planning out the week, I found that we had a choice to make: we could either go to DHS on a Fantasmic day (Thursday), or we could eat at Le Cellier on the one day it was available (Thursday). We chose Le Cellier over Fantasmic. I think Fantasmic is a nice show, but I don't think it's worth the crowds and the headache it generates. Also, there's no steak. So, we went for DHS on a less-crowded day.

I'd woken up that morning and turned on the camcorder to discover I only had 2 minutes of tape left. No problem. I'd bought 3 tapes just before the trip. I rummaged through my carry-on bag and found a couple of books and a magazine, but no tapes. I went through the suitcases. No tapes. I even looked in my toiletry kit. No tapes. Houston, we have a problem. I wouldn't have been dumb enough to leave them on the kitchen table at home, would I? Don't answer that.

If you put a gun to my head, I'd probably say that Hollywood Studios is my least favorite park. Of course, asking my least favorite park at WDW is sort of like asking which is my least favorite Philly sports team. I think the old-style Hollywood theming at the park entrance is fantastic. Makes you feel like you're there. I'm less enamored with the backlot warehouse buildings and Streets Of America sets. It's interesting from a "how do they do that" standpoint, but not as attractive to the eye. I think the other problem is that if you have family that won't do ToT or RnR Coaster (not that any of us would chicken out, of course ), you have to work a little harder to fill your day.

We caught the bus, entered Hollywood Studios, and went on the same mission as everybody else: Fast Passes at Toy Story Midway Mania. We were pretty keen on riding that one, as it would be the first time for all of us. There was a line, but it wasn't too bad, and we had our Fast Passes in hand within 5 minutes. At this point, all the kids needed bathroom breaks. So, while they went, I sprinted all the way back to Sunset Blvd. to see if the camera shop had any Mini DV tapes for my camcorder. I was even willing to pay the usual Disney 354% markup. Alas, they had nothing. They still sell this substance called "film" for ancient cameras, but my 8-year-old camcorder was apparently obsolete. I ran all the way back and caught up with them only a minute or so after they'd left the bathroom. Yeah. I can fly.

Anyway, I told Julie that she'd need to take a lot of pictures for the rest of the week. She seemed ok with that.

As you can see, the wait was listed at 30 minutes, so we decided to get right in line. My dad still was under the weather and didn't want to stand that long, so he and mom went off somewhere else and figured they'd use the Fast Passes to ride it with us later. We bided our time in the queue, enjoying the way it put you right into Andy's room from the movie. At one point, you walk by the cover of Rex's book of secrets for defeating Zurg. Down at the bottom, it listed the book's price. We got a good laugh out of this little dig at Canada:

I think the line did end up taking about 30 minutes, but it seemed like it could have gone faster if not for everyone taking their picture by Mr. Potato Head. Still, it's hard to begrudge them that photo opportunity. At this point, Scotty started--(are we having deja vu?)--moaning about going on the ride. Julie made him an offer he couldn't refuse: either you're riding this, or we're strapping you to the outside of the Tower of Terror cars. He went on the ride. Someday, when he's an adult, he'll probably walk up to random people and say, "You wanna know how I got these scars?"

I rode with Dave, and we had a blast. I just wasn't prepared for how much the string on the gun wears out your arm. I think I also spent a little too much time trying to nail hard-to-hit valuable targets rather than piling up easy points. Anyway, I finished with 131,500 and apparently won a stuffed beaver or something. Dave had about 20,000 and seemed disappointed that he wasn't close to me. But I pointed out that his accuracy (29%) beat mine (27%), which meant he was a better shot. That seemed to cheer him up. I didn't have the heart to tell him that you don't get points for accuracy.

My parents found us at the end and we walked down to the Backlot Tour. This ride gets a bad rap for being overly long and slow, and...well, for the most part, it deserves it. However, being a movie geek, I do enjoy watching the special-effects demonstrations. Here's the poor saps they got to do the battleship scene:

Again, I have to ask: would it be too difficult to incorporate those depth charge effects into It's A Small World? Just wondering.

The kids seemed to like all of the effects, and perked up when we rode past the skiff vehicle from Return of the Jedi. They had a villains exhibit at the end of the tour where we got to see Darth Vader's costume as well. I wanted to try it on, but Julie nixed that idea. She must have wanted me to go for the Darth Maul look instead.



We wandered down the Streets of America and found Radiator Springs--or at least, the corner where Lightning McQueen and Mater were housed.

Next stop: The Muppets 3D movie. Now, I know this one is getting a little dated, too, but I love it. Since Jim Henson passed away, this is the only Muppets production I've seen that truly captures the spirit and humor of the old Muppet Show. However, given our experience with Philharmagic, I was a little worried about how the kids would do with another 3D movie.

We went inside, found the key under the mat, and then watched the pre-show. Even the pre-show is funny, with Rizzo the Rat's impersonation of Mickey Mouse. I like the props and details there too:

We went into the theater and watched the show. Thankfully, the kids did really well and enjoyed it all. From Statler and Waldorf in the booth to Fozzie's cheap 3D tricks, and Beaker getting pummeled, it's a winner. Just like the old Muppet show--a great blend of slapstick and gentle satire. How can you not love Sam the Eagle's terrific line "I'm planning a 3-hour salute to all nations, but mostly America."?

It was lunchtime now, and when we do lunch at DHS, we go to Pizza Planet. Not because the pizza is anything special there, but we love Toy Story and my wife has that soft spot for the GAGs (Green Alien Guys). Although she gets most upset when she sees the Claw Machine and it has different alien toys inside.

Still, we can always find something to love. Who doesn't love Mickey Treats on a Stick? Or anything on a stick? After all, there is no spoon.

Coming Up Next: Will I ever stop avoiding the Tower of Terror? Plus, lots of explosions!

 

[that's nice]

SWEET!!!!!!!!!! SCORE!!!!!

Houston, we have a problem-
Apollo 13


You wanna know how I got these scars-
Dark Night


After all, there is no spoon-
Matrix


I cannot believe that there are no DV tapes for sale. I think I went looking for 1 once and I couldn't find one either. They probably could sell 1 for $10 and you would of bought it.

I can't comment on the stand-by line for TSM. I have never been in it! We always use FPs. Love the pic of the book of secrets! LOL

Glad the kids didn't give you too hard of a time riding. What did they think after?

I love the Muppets but I think the show needs an overhaul.