A TANF check and child support

[Dixie1965]

My niece has a three month baby boy by her ex boyfriend who is a complete loser. They were together for about a year before she got pregnant and are over with completely now. The ex does'nt want to have to do anything with the child and she wants that as well, seeing that he will be a very sorry excuse of a parent with the child.

But this is where the problem may lay. She is contemplating applying for a TANF check with the state of GA. But I was told that the state of GA will ask for the father of the childs name and make her go after child support. (Which she does not want to do for fear that if he has to pay her child support, he will then be involved in this child's life. So is this true? Will the state of GA go after the father of the child for support?

 

[jmartinez1895]

In most states ( if not all) they will require a custodial parent to file for child support if they are trying to get any type of government aid. If they where never married then the state may also require a paternity test and court hearing. If the father truly does not want to be involved then I would recommend contacting an attorney in the area and get papers drawn up that will relinquish all of his rights. If he will sign it then he never has to pay child support and he will never have an legal rights to the child again.
On the flip side, the child does have a right tp know their father regardless of how you and your family feel about the guy. Unless he is drug user or child abuser than the courts will give him standard visitation at the very least if he wants to go to court. Unless the courts say other wise he will have the right to see the child regardless of if he pays child support and he also has the option to not see the child if he is paying.

 

[stacieps]

a quick search on the GA Dept of Human Services website,

"In order to be determined eligible to receive TANF benefits, the following criteria must be met by the members of the assistance unit (family):

Age: A child must be less than 18 years of age (19 years if s/he is a full-time student).

Application for other benefits: A TANF applicant/recipient must apply for and accept other benefits (Unemployment Compensation, Workman’s Compensation, Supplemental Security Insurance (SSI), Child Support, etc) for which s/he may be eligible."

There were many other criteria, but you seem to be asking about the 2nd paragraph, so I stopped quoting there. It does appear that you need to ask for child support before you can get this assistance.

 

[kerry34]

In all likelihood that is true. In most states paternity has to be established and that usually includes child support orders which would then in turn be paid back to the state of Georgia as she would be collecting TANF. When the time comes that she gets on her feet and is no longer receiving benefits the child support would then start going to her.

 

[worm761]

In cases like this, child support and visitation are often two separate issues.

 

[pocomom]

She should go for the child support regardless. Child support and visitation are 2 seperate issues. The child is entitled to it, and it sounds like the mom needs it. If the Dad is interested he can get awarded visitation regardless. It's true he may try to get visitation out of spite, but if it is his motivation it is unlikely he will keep showing up.

 

[Marionnette]

My niece has a three month baby boy by her ex boyfriend who is a complete loser. They were together for about a year before she got pregnant and are over with completely now. The ex does'nt want to have to do anything with the child and she wants that as well, seeing that he will be a very sorry excuse of a parent with the child.

But this is where the problem may lay. She is contemplating applying for a TANF check with the state of GA. But I was told that the state of GA will ask for the father of the childs name and make her go after child support. (Which she does not want to do for fear that if he has to pay her child support, he will then be involved in this child's life. So is this true? Will the state of GA go after the father of the child for support?

Interesting subject for a first post.

She will have to apply for child support in she wants to get government benefits. She and the father cannot just decide that he can walk away from his legal obligation to support this baby. The state is going to want to hold him responsible before the taxpayers have to chip in.

 

[Colleen27]

Yes, they'll go after child support. And while CS and visitation are separate issues, that really only applies in the non-custodial parent's favor in my experience; the right to visitation exists regardless of whether or not the NCP pays child support and will be enforced even if he's a deadbeat in every other way. But the "right" to child support very much depends on the NCP's willingness and ability to pay.

In hindsight, I wouldn't have even established legal paternity for my son much less pursued child support. At the time I thought it was important on principle but now, with a 15yo who gets all sorts of horrible examples and messages from his father and a child support arrearage of over $10K that I know will never be paid, I can say emphatically that it was NOT worth it. My ex took us to court over moving 30 miles, prevents us from moving further for better job opportunities, won't sign off on DS getting a passport (even though we live 5min from Canada and used to go 3-4 times a year before the passport requirement changed), etc. And for what? An uncollectable debt.

Good luck to her. It sounds like she's in a tough spot between giving rights to a man she knows won't be a positive influence in the child's life and getting the help she needs to make ends meet.

 

[bigmamimia]

I was not required to give up the name of my son's father due to the fear that it may put my self or my son at risk. It turned out to be completely unwarranted. When my son was a few months old I decided to go after his father for child support. I gave up his name and the state handled all the court procedures to obtain the support. My son's father never expressed an interest in seeing him. I contacted him when my son was almost 6 and he saw him for the first time, he even managed to stick around for almost 3 weeks. LOL. Up until that point child support was sporadic and he owed me about $5000 and another $2500 to the state. When he dropped my son like a hot potato after 3 weeks I pursued the child support issue full force and 6 years later he has barely missed a payment and still never sees his son. I truly think this is the best way for all parties involved. I never had to worry about what was happening to my son on his father's weekend, if he was being taken care of, fed, changed, clean. All the stuff moms must worry about when they hand their children over for a visit. The TANF was great because it took me about 4 years to truly get on my feet and obtain independence, 2 years were spent in college, 18 months trying to find a job, and then 3 more months of schooling in the medical field before obtaining a job that could support us. If it hadn't been for the fact that I was on TANF and food stamps then every time he quit his job or was fired I would have been in trouble.

 

[cvjw]

As a taxpayer in the State of Georgia, I would hope that the father of a child would be the first in line to support his own child before coming after the taxpayers of the state for support.

 

[allison443]

As a taxpayer in the State of Georgia, I would hope that the father of a child would be the first in line to support his own child before coming after the taxpayers of the state for support.

Agree. (and shouldn't the mother of the child be in that line too?)

 

[MizTink]

is the father's name on the birth certificate? if not, she can always say she doesn't know who it is....IF it's really that important to her to not have him involved. however, i do personally feel that if she needs the assistance she should just apply and cooperate with whatever the state does......she wouldn't be the one going after him for support. the stae would be doing it on the child's behalf

 

[Mama Who]

My niece has a three month baby boy by her ex boyfriend who is a complete loser. They were together for about a year before she got pregnant and are over with completely now. The ex does'nt want to have to do anything with the child and she wants that as well, seeing that he will be a very sorry excuse of a parent with the child.

But this is where the problem may lay. She is contemplating applying for a TANF check with the state of GA. But I was told that the state of GA will ask for the father of the childs name and make her go after child support. (Which she does not want to do for fear that if he has to pay her child support, he will then be involved in this child's life. So is this true? Will the state of GA go after the father of the child for support?

Yes, the state of GA will expect the parents of the child to pay for his support before they foot the bill. Her wish to cut the father off is understandable, but ultimately, the stance of the state will be that it is not her right to do so and then to ask someone else to pay to raise the kid. She can have autonomy or support, but not both. It's a hard choice, but one she will have to make.

 

[angierae]

Yes, they'll go after child support. And while CS and visitation are separate issues, that really only applies in the non-custodial parent's favor in my experience; the right to visitation exists regardless of whether or not the NCP pays child support and will be enforced even if he's a deadbeat in every other way. But the "right" to child support very much depends on the NCP's willingness and ability to pay.

In hindsight, I wouldn't have even established legal paternity for my son much less pursued child support. At the time I thought it was important on principle but now, with a 15yo who gets all sorts of horrible examples and messages from his father and a child support arrearage of over $10K that I know will never be paid, I can say emphatically that it was NOT worth it. My ex took us to court over moving 30 miles, prevents us from moving further for better job opportunities, won't sign off on DS getting a passport (even though we live 5min from Canada and used to go 3-4 times a year before the passport requirement changed), etc. And for what? An uncollectable debt.

Good luck to her. It sounds like she's in a tough spot between giving rights to a man she knows won't be a positive influence in the child's life and getting the help she needs to make ends meet.

Luckily, when your son gets his license, he can get an enhanced license without having both parents sign. My daughter just got one and her dad took her to get her license, I had nothing to do with it.

 

[khaoskat]

If the father truly does not want to be involved then I would recommend contacting an attorney in the area and get papers drawn up that will relinquish all of his rights. If he will sign it then he never has to pay child support and he will never have an legal rights to the child again.

A parent cannot voluntarily relinquish their parental rights like this. Or let me say a biological Father cannot do this. Unless that child is adopted by someone else, that Father is always going to be on the hook for child support until the child ages out of the system.

 

[MizTink]

A parent cannot voluntarily relinquish their parental rights like this. Or let me say a biological Father cannot do this. Unless that child is adopted by someone else, that Father is always going to be on the hook for child support until the child ages out of the system.

yes, i looked into this about 17 years ago in florida. i was told it can only be done if there is someone else adopting the child.
it was a long time ago, but i assume it's still the same...

 

[keri125]

I was not required to give up the name of my son's father due to the fear that it may put my self or my son at risk. It turned out to be completely unwarranted. When my son was a few months old I decided to go after his father for child support. I gave up his name and the state handled all the court procedures to obtain the support. My son's father never expressed an interest in seeing him. I contacted him when my son was almost 6 and he saw him for the first time, he even managed to stick around for almost 3 weeks. LOL. Up until that point child support was sporadic and he owed me about $5000 and another $2500 to the state. When he dropped my son like a hot potato after 3 weeks I pursued the child support issue full force and 6 years later he has barely missed a payment and still never sees his son. I truly think this is the best way for all parties involved. I never had to worry about what was happening to my son on his father's weekend, if he was being taken care of, fed, changed, clean. All the stuff moms must worry about when they hand their children over for a visit. The TANF was great because it took me about 4 years to truly get on my feet and obtain independence, 2 years were spent in college, 18 months trying to find a job, and then 3 more months of schooling in the medical field before obtaining a job that could support us. If it hadn't been for the fact that I was on TANF and food stamps then every time he quit his job or was fired I would have been in trouble.

I know federally you can receive up to 60 months of TANF, but here in ID it's limited to 24. Also, you cannot be a degree-seeking student and will be referred to a mandatory work program. As a case manager for said mandatory work program, I think we do a pretty good job in assisting others in finding and maintaining employment, if I do say so myself! But we do always have participants who have received TANF in other states who are shocked at the State of Idaho's requirements. It's always interesting to see different state level requirements! And yes, they will go after the NCP for child support.

 

[Jasonkat]

I am pretty sure every state requires the father to be named before state aid is available.

Taxpayer aid should be a last resort so typically a decent effort is made at getting support from the father.

It's really too bad your niece didn't choose adoption. There are a ton of stable couples with decent incomes who are infertile and want a baby. Adoption is really the best thing for the child. But unfortunately our country has some sort of taboo about adoption so it's not really talked about. Our country teaches people to be extremely selfish and have a me-first attitude about everything. The best thing for the child is the last consideration 99% young unmarried women (most either choose to abort it or to raise it themselves in an unstable broken home).

 

[scrapquitler]

My niece has a three month baby boy by her ex boyfriend who is a complete loser. They were together for about a year before she got pregnant and are over with completely now. The ex does'nt want to have to do anything with the child and she wants that as well, seeing that he will be a very sorry excuse of a parent with the child.

But this is where the problem may lay. She is contemplating applying for a TANF check with the state of GA. But I was told that the state of GA will ask for the father of the childs name and make her go after child support. (Which she does not want to do for fear that if he has to pay her child support, he will then be involved in this child's life. So is this true? Will the state of GA go after the father of the child for support?

Honestly I think the state SHOULD at least attempt to go after the non-custodial to collect some money as a condition of the mother applying for state assistance. It's his child, he should be required to pay and the taxpayers should step in to help only after every attempt has been made to get him to pay first. It would be wrong for the mother to not expect that.

 

[OrangeCountyCommuter]

is the father's name on the birth certificate? if not, she can always say she doesn't know who it is....IF it's really that important to her to not have him involved. however, i do personally feel that if she needs the assistance she should just apply and cooperate with whatever the state does......she wouldn't be the one going after him for support. the stae would be doing it on the child's behalf

These are legal documents.

I don't think suggesting the mother LIE is a good legal strategy. Should it ever come out SHE would then be liable.

And she's suppose to be the one who is setting the good example here according to the OP. Starting out with a lie isn't really the example we are aiming for is it.