A tad upset w/ DH

[LWatson]

So, We had planned to take a Disney break this year and do some mini vacations w/ the family on weekends in the area w/ our Disney vacation being next year. Well, DH's unit has other plans. LOL. They are deploying again early next year, so we thought we would do a big vacation this year.

Well, I have tried to come up w/ all sorts of things for us to do and have shared them w/ DH (10 diff ideas for vacations) and he gives NO input. Then yesterday the kids and I went to lunch w/ my mom and she was talking about her work and this Disney Cruise coming up she is going on for work. Well, my kids started thinking about disney and wanting to watch videos from our last trip (my youngest loves the one of the park opening show at MK). Then this morning I get an email from a travel website w/ info on Star Wars weekend and music plays along w/ the link and in comes my son (oldest). He was like "WOW MICKEY AS A JEDI." He is a huge star wars cartoon fan and likes to watch one of the newer Star Wars movies too. Well, he told my husband he wanted to see Jedi Mickey today. I ended up pricing what it would be to go over one week in May when we think his block leave will be. We would stay at SOG and use the military 4 day tickets (no hopper no water parks...just 3 parks in 4 days (we dont like Animal Kingdom). It was like $875 for us to go (not including food but that wont be too bad because we will bring some w/ us)....the kids really want to go and Daddy is like "Mommy can take you." My 4yr old runs off jumping up and down going "yay yay yay we are going to mickey"

What kills me is he told them they can go, but he doesnt want to. I was a little irritated because now my 4yr old thinks he is going, but we arent because DH doesnt want to go. I have no clue what to do, but its going to break my 4yr old's heart if we dont go now.

 

[okeydokey]

Well if it really up to him to decide, I would give him a list with 3 or 4 choices and tell him to let you know by say next Wednesday. I'm sure your 4 year old will understand that this vacation as a family can't be Disney.

 

[MEK]

Wow - sorry you can't get your DH to committ. Maybe you could talk to him one or one when the kids are in bed. Give the Disney idea time to settle in. Explain how much you want to do a family vacation and then you are open to other options, but you need his input.

Good luck!

 

[hereyago]

Ok, your dh doesn't want to go. Why would you not go without him?

 

[LWatson]

Ok, your dh doesn't want to go. Why would you not go without him?

Because he is deploying early next year and will be training and in school most of the rest of the year. So, we want to spend time together esp since he JUST GOT BACK Oct 09. He is home a year gone a year, and the time he is home half of it is training...so yeah that is why we arent going a lone...we want to spend the time he does have home OFF together. Besides I dont see taking a 2&4yr old to disney alone for 5 days as fun when I cant ride w/ both of them on a lot of rides...one would be sitting alone and it doesnt make me comfortable.

 

[Ceila]

It sounds like maybe your DH was a little frustrated that you started poking around at some Disney plans when you had both agreed not to go to Disney this year. He shouldn't have said what he did to your son, but in all fairness you probably should have made sure you kept any potential Disney plans secret from the kids until getting an OK from your DH, especially since you know how excited they would get.

Could his lack of input stem from worry about deploying again? I'd suggest putting together some non-Disney ideas and tell him you need him to choose one, and that you'll take the planning from there.

 

[hereyago]

Sorry if I offened. I am just the type of person that I wouldnt not go someplace with my kids if my dh didn't want to go.

 

[LWatson]

It sounds like maybe your DH was a little frustrated that you started poking around at some Disney plans when you had both agreed not to go to Disney this year. He shouldn't have said what he did to your son, but in all fairness you probably should have made sure you kept any potential Disney plans secret from the kids until getting an OK from your DH, especially since you know how excited they would get.

Could his lack of input stem from worry about deploying again? I'd suggest putting together some non-Disney ideas and tell him you need him to choose one, and that you'll take the planning from there.

I have put together NON disney trip stuff. I've shown him...Universal for a week, Sesame Place followed by a few days in Philadelphia exploring the historical aspects (he is a history buff), St. Louis, DC, Chattanooga, Louisville, Williamsburg VA, Canada, and extending our ohio trip visiting his dad (seeing his biological dad for the first time) by a few days and going to the NFL hall of fame and cedar point. None of which he has agreed to. I guess I'm just frustrated that he wants to do something but wont give input.

 

[okeydokey]

I have put together NON disney trip stuff. I've shown him...Universal for a week, Sesame Place followed by a few days in Philadelphia exploring the historical aspects (he is a history buff), St. Louis, DC, Chattanooga, Louisville, Williamsburg VA, Canada, and extending our ohio trip visiting his dad (seeing his biological dad for the first time) by a few days and going to the NFL hall of fame and cedar point. None of which he has agreed to. I guess I'm just frustrated that he wants to do something but wont give input.

I don't blame you. Could it be he doesn't really want to take a real vacation at all but just stay home with his family? Sure would make it easier if he would just tell you what he's thinking.

 

[Hannathy]

First could he have meant that YOU could take the kids when he is gone? A very real possibility.

Second what ever he meant it is up to HIM to explain it to your son, he said it you didn't.

If he won't do what he should(tell your son) I would just be honest and say Disney isn't going to be a possibility this year sorry, but we will go somewhere else. Maybe we can plan to see Mickey as a Jedi some other year. Believe me my kids have been told more than once that Disney isn't possible because of finances or not being able to get time off. It is good for kids to learn that everything in life doesn't always work out the way we would like.

 

[ShannonMB]

I would be irritated, too. Why do you think he said that? Was he mad at you for even suggesting Disney? Is he feeling stressed and irritated in general about a vacation? I would seriously have a talk with him to try to figure out what's with the attitude. You are obviously working hard to try to make a nice family time, and if all he's going to do is be snotty about your suggestions, then you guys need to talk. Maybe he DOES just want to stay home this year?

After he's deployed and you and the kids hunker down for him being gone, why not take that trip to Disney anyway? Don't you have a sister, mom, cousin, aunt, or uncle who'd want to go with you and the kids? After all, DH said you guys could!!!!

 

[Duckyiam71]

I would be irritated, too. Why do you think he said that? Was he mad at you for even suggesting Disney? Is he feeling stressed and irritated in general about a vacation? I would seriously have a talk with him to try to figure out what's with the attitude. You are obviously working hard to try to make a nice family time, and if all he's going to do is be snotty about your suggestions, then you guys need to talk. Maybe he DOES just want to stay home this year?

After he's deployed and you and the kids hunker down for him being gone, why not take that trip to Disney anyway? Don't you have a sister, mom, cousin, aunt, or uncle who'd want to go with you and the kids? After all, DH said you guys could!!!!

This is exactly what we decided. My husband did not want to go so me and the boys are going with the grandparents in June. He just got deployed so we are using all the military discounts just without him and he is very happy that we have something to look forward to!

 

[disneybound31]

You know your DH best, but maybe the stress of deployment is greater this time around? I have a friend whose husband leaves in March for his second deployment to Afghanistan and practically the whole family is taking it MUCH harder than the first time around when he went to Iraq. She can't pinpoint what is different, but she says the stress is showing itself in strange ways.

 

[Luvchefmic]

You know your DH best, but maybe the stress of deployment is greater this time around? I have a friend whose husband leaves in March for his second deployment to Afghanistan and practically the whole family is taking it MUCH harder than the first time around when he went to Iraq. She can't pinpoint what is different, but she says the stress is showing itself in strange ways.

I agree with this posters thoughts, my DD and SIL are both USMC and when I first read I thought about the times before and after several deployments and I think there is a good possibility this is what your DH may be feeling. He may not admit it, but try to be understanding I will keep you all in my thoughts & prayers

 

[LWatson]

Thanks everyone. This will be our 5th deployment, and even though its around 10ish months away it feels as if its just around the corner again because training picks up again soon. He does seemed more worried about this one mainly because he is with a unit now (we just got here a month ago) that is usually in the thick of it. I guess that could be it. I was hoping he would say extend the Ohio vacation because it would be neat to go see some of that since we will be up there anyway. Oh well as long as we are together its good.

 

[LWatson]

LOL, So DH was watching tv and noticed a "hidden mickey" the other day. he just blurts out "hey did you see that hidden mickey in that commercial." What happened was the way some cookies fell they made a mickey head. So, since then I've caught him watching disney commercials instead of leaving the room, and even caught him rewinding the disney special on tv a few min ago while he was changing clothes. I asked him if he was watching and his response was "I saw something that caught my eye." So, I casually asked him, "I thought you would have enjoyed Star Wars Weekend." He goes "I would, but I'm not sure we can afford the vacation."

So, we have a good amount in savings and we have time to save more. This is the plan so far IF we go....not saying we are though.

We would stay at Shades of Green which will cost us the same as a Value, but are way bigger rooms (we priced today to make sure its the same or cheaper), we would use the 4 day military tickets, and we would bring stuff from home to eat (peanut butter, bread, cereal, water, juice, chips,etc) or stop at a grocery store on the way in. Do you all have any other ideas for cutting costs or saving money??? Its just a thought right now, but it would be nice to pull off.