A song I wrote (is it any good?)

[Shelton123]

Ok sooo I wrote a song called "Love Hates" it's not really about a specific thing it's just about love in general. Here it goes. *ahem*

[refrain/chorus]
Love doesn't care who you are
He just cares who you want to be
If you want to be you
If you want to be me
You gotta want to be somebody
Love just wants to break your heart
He doesn't want you to start
Thinking that somebody has him for you

[verse 1]
Well I know I should shut up and let you go
And just enjoy the show
But you make me feel like a new soul
How could I say no
Well trouble is a really really good friend of mine
And all my bells are ringing in my head
After I heard what you said
And everyone knows that we like to spaz out together
And I've been waiting way way way too long to say that

[refrain/chorus]
Love doesn't care who you are
He just cares who you want to be
If you want to be you
If you want to be me
You gotta want to be somebody
Love just wants to break your heart
He doesn't want you to start
Thinking that somebody has him for you

[verse 2]
So darling, I know that's not your name
Eyelash curlers, butcher knives, they're the same
And there is no stopping us
The fact that we can get this right is a plus
But I know life inside this music box isn't easy
And I also know that this song is very cheesy
But it's all I got
Except for sunshowers and pretty flowers

[refrain/chorus]
Love doesn't care who you are
He just cares who you want to be
If you want to be you
If you want to be me
You gotta want to be somebody
Love just wants to break your heart
He doesn't want you to start
Thinking that somebody has him for you

[bridge]
They made a statue of us
They'll name a city after us
Cause we're contagious
Your love's contagious
Everyone's catching it like a cold
Everyone wants to grow old with it
But when I take it they'll throw a fit

[refrain/chorus]
Love doesn't care who you are
He just cares who you want to be
If you want to be you
If you want to be me
You gotta want to be somebody
Love just wants to break your heart
He doesn't want you to start
Thinking that somebody has him for you

So what do y'all think?

 

[CastawayJ]

post a vid, can't help with lyrics but I have great music tallent
I could help with pitch volume notes etc

 

[Shelton123]

post a vid, can't help with lyrics but I have great music tallent
I could help with pitch volume notes etc

No digital camera XD. I'm technologically challenged. But once I get one I will post a vid.

 

[StitchfansJr]

I thought it was pretty good

 

[HouseMD1120]

I liked it

 

[KitKat_Tink]

Its pretty good...

a little cheesy in some verses but good none the less

 

[Cassidy]

Very lovely.

 

[pigletgirl]

Pretty good. Who is He?

 

[disneychick2721]

Its good.
'Cept the whole thing rhymes which could get annoying.

[verse 1]
Well I know I should shut up and let you go
And just enjoy the show
But you make me feel like a new soul
How could I say no
Well trouble is a really really good friend of mine
And all my bells are ringing in my head
After I heard what you said
And everyone knows that we like to spaz out together
And I've been waiting way way way too long to say that

[verse 2]
So darling, I know that's not your name
Eyelash curlers, butcher knives, they're the same
And there is no stopping us
The fact that we can get this right is a plus
But I know life inside this music box isn't easy
And I also know that this song is very cheesy
But it's all I got
Except for sunshowers and pretty flowers

I also feel like if you had the chorus in there that many times someone would feel the urge to shoot themselves, I mean its in there 5 times. (no offense lol)

 

[Shelton123]

Pretty good. Who is He?

I made love a "he" because I think "she" for love doesn't fit as well.

Its pretty good...

a little cheesy in some verses but good none the less

Yeah it's totally cheesy! When I was writing it I was like "I need to put a little snark about how cheesy my own song is" so I put that in the second verse.

And for some reason, I can't write a song without rhymes! I wrote one called "Freckles" about my girlfriend, which is even cheesier than this one! Everyone at school says that I'm a lyrical genius but I still don't believe it, because they know me. Now I kind of believe I'm good because you guys (whom I don't really know) are telling me that.

When I sang it again, I realized the chorus thing. I removed the last one at the end.