A slap in the face

[MagicalMom]

I went to a new Doctor (gyno) today. I'd never met her before. After the appt I glanced at the papers she gave me to take to the front desk. On it was checked "needs diet / nutrition & exercise instructions" because I am so over-weight. I weighed in at 163.9 at the office. What would she have thought of me 25lbs ago? I was heartbroken. Here I was finally thinking I looked like an average person but nope, still obese.

 

[pyrateswife]

omg... I would be sooooooo excited to weigh what u do.. Please dont let that discourage you.. and congrats on your weight loss already!!! It is sooo hard to do...I work in a dr. office and I dont think they pay attention to that fact that patients READ their paperwork... I wish they would word stuff better.. I weigh around 200 and on my dr. papers they consider me morbidly obese.. now if that dont hurt... lol.. keep ur chin up and be proud of what u have lost! I think ur doing great!

 

[dare2dream]

for MagicalMom

I hope lots of hugs can undo the damage of that slap in the face today. Don't let the insensitivity of that Doctor rain on your parade. You have lost 25 pounds and that is quite an accomplishment. You may not be at your goal weight but you are working to get there. This doctor must not have compared today's weight to that of your last visit. If she had she would have been very happy with your progress. Your BMI may say one thing right now but your attitude speaks louder. You are making changes in your life to live healthier. You are slowly losing the weight, and losing it slowly will help it to stay off permanently.

Here is your own personal cheerleader squad:


MagicalMom MagicalMom 'weigh' to go MagicalMom, MagicalMom MagicalMom 'weigh' to go MagicalMom

Whenever you are feeling down think of them cheering for you. You can do this. You have come so far and that Doctor is blind for not seeing your accomplishment. You are an inspiration to me. Keep up the good work.

 

[MagicalMom]

Thanks for the support. It just felt like such a big step backwards.

 

[AuntieM03]

You're doing great. You only weigh 3.9lbs more than what my doctor gave me for goal

 

[MagicalMom]

You're doing great. You only weigh 3.9lbs more than what my doctor gave me for goal

I'm only 5'3" though. I'm about 30lbs over what I should be.

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

YOU are doing it! Congratulations to you!
This is not an accomplishment you should allow anyone to overlook. It takes a great deal of dedication to becoming a healthier you. Don't let one insensitive person get you. Celebrate you! Celebrate your success!

You are an inspiration to many of us here and as you continue your journey if you go back to this doc, be certain to let her know that she could have discussed this with you before she so insensitively placed the info on the chart. She will most likely celebrate your success too!

Keep on keepin' on!

 

[Nancy]

I'm only 5'3" though. I'm about 30lbs over what I should be.

OK, 30 pounds is so not even close to being obese! I wish I weighed what you do, that is actually pretty close to where I would like to be in the future (actually I want to be about 15 pounds lighter than that, but I would settle for that)

Just think back on where you were vs. where you are now. I wonder if the doctor even knows what you weighed before. Did she say anything to you or just write it all down?

 

[Caitsmama]

MagicalMom --- keep pushing ahead and give that Dr. something to be amazed at next time you see her!! Put her in her place! LOL
You have done great -- losing 25lbs is an awesome accomplishment, be proud!!

 

[lustergirl]

aaahhhhhh don't listen to him- you are doing great!! I hate the fact that there is such an emphasis on being stick thin here in the united states. I guess you have to look like Paris Hilton to be accepted and quite frankly I would never want to be that skinny. I would be happy being 150 pounds like back in the older days of being in the army- gulf war veteran here!!

 

[agnes!]

I'd be looking for a new doctor.

1)...She apparently didn't actually LOOK at your medical records or she would have known you'd lost so much weight. That almost borders on incompetence.

2)...what I would like to say about her being so rude/insensitive would probably get me some points, so I WON'T.

3)...Ask her what her BMI is. Then LAUGH . Whatever her BMI might be, she's probably technically at LEAST overweight. Isn't Tom Cruise supposed to be overweight according to the latest BMI charts?

agnes!

 

[MagicalMom]

I'd be looking for a new doctor.

1)...She apparently didn't actually LOOK at your medical records or she would have known you'd lost so much weight. That almost borders on incompetence.

2)...what I would like to say about her being so rude/insensitive would probably get me some points, so I WON'T.

3)...Ask her what her BMI is. Then LAUGH . Whatever her BMI might be, she's probably technically at LEAST overweight. Isn't Tom Cruise supposed to be overweight according to the latest BMI charts?

agnes!

This was my first appt with her, my old records had not been forwarded yet.

She didn't say anything to me about my weight, she just wrote it. She wrote it like she saw it.

My BMI is 28.9 & I look it. I think it just bothered me so much because I was feeling to proud of my weight loss that it hurt to realize I still have a long way to go.

 

[corinnak]

I am guessing it might have also hurt that she said you needed "instructions" for something you are already doing really well with. The really arrogant thing here, it seems to me, is that she didn't discuss this with you at all, she just assumed you were ignorant. If she had people-skills, she would have said to you, "Tell me about your diet and exercise - your weight is a bit on the high side and we want to make sure you have the support and information you need to get within the healthy weight range." I am sure if she had heard what you are already doing to take care of yourself, she would not have checked that box! Keep up the good work - you ARE doing amazing things for your health and you should be commended!

 

[agnes!]

Also what corinna said.

And I would STILL be looking for a new doctor. If that is not feasible, I would be having a *serious* "Come to Jesus" talk with this one.

agnes!

 

[PaulaSue]

OMG, How Rude!!! You should go to my practice. I went to my midwife for my annual yesterday and she said I was doing Great. I weigh about the same as you right now but I have lost 35ish since I saw her last.

You are doing Great and don't let her paper ruin your Good Work!!!

 

[delilah]

I'd be looking for a new doctor.

Ask her what her BMI is. Then LAUGH . Whatever her BMI might be, she's probably technically at LEAST overweight. Isn't Tom Cruise supposed to be overweight according to the latest BMI charts?

agnes!

I think this would be rude and inappropriate no matter who the people involved are. Part of the role of a primary care physician is preventative health maintenance (and if you go to a gynecologist for your routine exam, she is acting as a primary care physician). I am a primary care physician, and generally, I am motivated by the desire to help my patients to improve their health, by whatever means. Yes, my nurse will weigh you every time you come into the office. Yes, I will calculate your BMI. If you like, I can help you with weight management. If you have lost weight since the last visit, I will ask if it was intentional, because unintentional weight loss can be a sign of serious health problems. I have never, in 15 years of medical practice, felt that I have been "put in my place" by a patient losing weight. Usually, I congratulate them, and support them in their efforts. Since I have recently lost weight, people feel that I should share with them how much weight I have lost, what size I currently wear, and what my weight loss goal is. Depending on the situation, and the relationship I have with the person, I may answer tangentially, or not at all. You might get a cold "why do you want to know?", which is how I would respond if I felt a person were asking a question like "what is your BMI?" in a rude and adversarial manner.

 

[MagicalMom]

I think this would be rude and inappropriate no matter who the people involved are. Part of the role of a primary care physician is preventative health maintenance (and if you go to a gynecologist for your routine exam, she is acting as a primary care physician). I am a primary care physician, and generally, I am motivated by the desire to help my patients to improve their health, by whatever means. Yes, my nurse will weigh you every time you come into the office. Yes, I will calculate your BMI. If you like, I can help you with weight management. If you have lost weight since the last visit, I will ask if it was intentional, because unintentional weight loss can be a sign of serious health problems. I have never, in 15 years of medical practice, felt that I have been "put in my place" by a patient losing weight. Usually, I congratulate them, and support them in their efforts. Since I have recently lost weight, people feel that I should share with them how much weight I have lost, what size I currently wear, and what my weight loss goal is. Depending on the situation, and the relationship I have with the person, I may answer tangentially, or not at all. You might get a cold "why do you want to know?", which is how I would respond if I felt a person were asking a question like "what is your BMI?" in a rude and adversarial manner.

Don't worry. I wouldn't have spoken to her like that anyways. She was perfectly polite to me. What she wrote was the truth, I just didn't want to hear it.

 

[Pumbaa_]

What would have been nice is if she had talked to you about your current weight. If she had, she would have found out how fantastic you are doing and she would have been in a position to support your weight loss and boost your self-confidence.

Instead, she wrote on your chart that you need instruction. Too bad she didn't take a couple minutes and actually talk to you about it.

Keep up the great work and know you are doing the right thing

 

[iggbees]

wow i'd be poed. that's kind of obnoxious to write if she didn't ask you about your health or eating habits. it's understandable that she might write it because she's a dr and i know drs get flack for telling it like it is. heck, someone in vermont (or new hampshire) sued their dr because they told them they were overweight and the person won their case. what people don't understand is that drs are not out to get people because they say things like that, they just want to help and can be insensitive about it because they see hundreds to thousands of patients. they aren't going to sugar coat it for you.

i wouldn't change drs because of it, i'd just show her that you are in fact eating healthy and exercising by coming in next year at your goal weight! she'd be happy for you, i'll guarantee it!

you're doing an awesome job, btw, keep it up!!!

 

[Keggy]

I went to my annual exam and my Dr said - good job you have lost weight - keep it up! That was appropriate, I felt. What your dr did, was not...


Side story (not weight related). I went to a new general care practioner shortly after my brother had passed away. When I had to fill out the paperwork about family history my dr asked how my brother had died, and I teared up, understandably... Well, my next appt - my file was laying there and it said in big letters - DEPRESSED - CRIES EASILY... lol - I should have taken it as a sign... she ended up being a horrible dr and I am glad I left her practice.