A really sad turn of events

[My~Rumbly~Tumbly]

Today FedEx attempted to deliver documents for our December 1st cruise, but I wasn't home. I really wasn't expecting them so soon, as I've seen that some people have not rec'd them for their November sailings. I guess I should be very excited, but I'm contemplating canceling our cruise. I am cruising solo with my 3 year old and my son who will be 17 months at sail time. My husband is unable to go with us, due to work, etc. We planned to meet a friend onboard, who was bringing her two small children and her mom. We all planned the vacation together, linked our reservations and were looking forward to a great time. Well the unimaginable has happened. My friends mom died. It was unexpected. My friend, understandably, has decided that she cannot cruise so soon after her mom's death, especially when her mom was supposed to make the trip with us. It's so sad, my heart breaks for her. I don't know that I could cruise either in her situation.

So now I am up in the air as to whether I will or won't cruise. I certainly would enjoy the quality time spent with my little ones (who btw, are as active as anyone else there age, and are a LOT of work). I can picture us having some really good times, but in all honesty, I was also looking forward to enjoying some adult conversation with my friend. I'm not sure that I can expect that same conversation from a complete stranger, and wouldn't invade a family's time together anyway. Has anyone out there ever cruised alone with small children, without knowing anyone else onboard?

I have asked a very good friend of mine in Florida to join us. She has applied for a job at the University. If she gets it, she will not be able to cruise with us, but she will if the job does not come through. If she can't go, I'm thinking I will just cancel, which means that I would forfeit our deposit and our airfare. I asked about our airfare and they said it would cost $125.00 each ticket to alter them and be able to use them within 12 months, but we only paid 140.00 each, so it's not worth it. I also have the option of applying the money toward a future booking, where I would still lose $150 plus the airfare.

I'm just sick about this. And I feel so bad for my friend- I feel guilty for feeling this way about MY cruise, considering how awful she feels about something (someone) that was WAY more important.

 

[Michelle]

My sincere condolences to your friend on the loss of her mother.

I hope that you do still go and I hope your friend reconsiders and decides to still go too, if she has not already cancelled. The cruise is not for more than a month and at that point she made need the break with her children, and I bet her mom would have wanted her to go anyway.

If your friend cannot go, I hope that your other friend can and even if she doesn't I still think you and your kids should GO. There ARE other adults there traveling alone with children. I have met many very friendly people on cruises and I would not hesitate for a moment to go with my child alone. I know your kids are young but you will still have a magical time. I would hate for you to lose all the money too.

Good luck to you as you decide!

 

[mcnuss]

My friend, understandably, has decided that she cannot cruise so soon after her mom's death, especially when her mom was supposed to make the trip with us. It's so sad, my heart breaks for her. I don't know that I could cruise either in her situation.

Can you convince her not to cancel right away (if she has not done so already)? I say this bc she may change her mind in a few weeks. December 1 is a good 6 weeks away, and with a little time and perspective, she may be persuaded that the cruise is a fantastic idea after all. I say this from experience: we almost cancelled a vacation that was scheduled 8 weeks after my DH lost both his parents. Due to inertia, I never did anything about it. About a month later, DH asked if we could still go - that he really needed a break from grieving, estate stuff, etc.... Luckily I had not changed our plans, and we had a wonderful time.

See if you can get her to leave it for a little while.

If she can't, then if it were me, I would postpone my cruise. I agree that you won't have as much fun and if you postpone it, maybe she will be able to go along with you then.

 

[CarolAnnC]

We had planned our first 7 day cruise for November 2000 and my husband passed away unexpectedly two months prior to the cruise. In fact, he died the week before our final payment was due.

After talking to my girls, we decided to go ahead and cruise. I knew my DH would have wanted us to go ahead with it, and it took the girls' minds off of missing their daddy a little bit.

We will all eventually lose loved ones, and if you can find the strength to go on with your life, it will get easier as time passes. The pain and grief are not lessened, but at least there are some good memories that still can be made with the loved ones left on this earth.

Good luck to you and your friend, too...

 

[misswit]

I know it is going to be a hard decision to go, but remember there is help on-board, so you can have some private time as well as spend quality time with your kids. I will be an adult you can talk to! Hope you consider going!

 

[sistert]

I know how sad your friend must be right now, but like everyone here and for the same reasons, tell her not to cancel just yet. Time heals all wounds and the cruise might just be the medicine to calm frayed nerves. A little laughter and smiles is a wonderful thing.

As for what happens if no one can go with you and your children? Go anyway! You will be amazed at how much fun you'll have with your kids and how many people you will all meet. If your kids spend all there time in the facilities, use the time alone to relax by the pool, hit the spa, or try something new. It's not impossible, just do it. And I'm sure of DIS'ers here would love to keep you company as well!

 

[My~Rumbly~Tumbly]

Well, my friend in FL just called and said that the university got in touch with her earlier than expected and offered her the job, but the program is not ready yet, so they do not anticipate her start date until January first! They told her to feel free to cruise, so she is going to cruise with us. I feel SO much better now. She has always been like a mom to me, taking me in when things were really home at bad when I was an adolescent. We saw her in March while at DW and again in May when she was in New England visiting family. It had honestly been 10 years that I'd gone without seeing her when I saw her in March, so I feel very blessed to have the opportunity to see her THREE times in the same year! She's very excited about going and has already started to purchase her cruise attire, lol.

I haven't had the opportunity to talk with my friend because she has been with her family. I know that she asked DU to cancel her reservation, but they have held off as they do not want her to lose all her money. They want to be sure she understands her options, including her option to apply her payments to a future cruise. I could only hope that she would change her mind and join us on the cruise. I also agree that it might be just the thing to spend the time with her children and take her mind off things, and I would bet that her mom would want that too. But I certainly can understand her not wanting to. I really think it would be very difficult for me if I were in her shoes. I don't think anyone is ever prepared for their loved one to pass and we all grieve in our own way. I just feel helpless. There are so many miles between us (she lives in the carribean).

Thanks to everyone who replied. Misswit- I hope to meet you too! We'll have to arrange for a meeting spot!

 

[Michelle]

I'm glad it worked out for your friend to go, Tammy, and I hope you all have a wonderful time.

 

[sjm]

Tammy,

I am sorry to hear about your friends mother. I was in a similar situation, but no children involved. My mother was terminaly ill, on hospice and I was her caregiver. I told DH, who was back home, to cancel our cruise. The insurance refused, said I could not cancel unless my mother died. Of course I spent lots of time cursing and crying. As it turned out my mother died and I was able to go home 2 1/2 weeks before the cruise. I spent more time cursing and crying, there is no way I can go, I can't be ready in time etc, etc. My whole family convinced me that I should go and it was the best thing I did. It was not my best cruise, but I had a good time and came back rested and ready to deal with all the paper work. I hope you can get youur friend to go on the cruise, it would do her a world of good.

Also glad to hear that your friend is going with you.

Sue

 

[mcnuss]

I know that she asked DU to cancel her reservation, but they have held off as they do not want her to lose all her money. They want to be sure she understands her options, including her option to apply her payments to a future cruise.

If she bought the insurance, would she lose her money?

 

[My~Rumbly~Tumbly]

No, but she did not purchase insurance . Neither did I (a lesson learned).

 

[mcnuss]

You might still be able to get insurance from a 3rd party, like Travelguard, to protect you should anything happen between now & December 1. There are web sites that will price it out for you, but I don't know the URL. You could probably do a search. I have heard on this Board that there are many options that are less costly than DCL's.

 

[disny4ever]

Last January my DW and I had a 7 day cruise planned for our anniversary celebration and while on board her birthday. Her Mom had been in the hospital and suddenly took a turn for the worse and past away 3 days before we were to leave for WDW.
We decided her Mother would not have wanted us to miss the cruise and we decided to leave 2 days later then scheduled ( 1 day before the cruise ). Even though my wife was heart broken it did her a world of good to get away from the situation.
Talk to your friend she might see things differently after things have settled a little. It might give and her children a little break that they just might need. Prayers go out to both of you and I hope things work out for you both.

 

[My~Rumbly~Tumbly]

Mcnuss, it's funny because I had one of those insurance company's bookmarked. I started to check into it and actually got a quote that was very nice, but was interrupted and never got to finish looking into it. I still want to do that, more so for peace of mind when it comes to what can happen ON the ship/islands.

I'm really whoa'd by all the stories shared here. I think my friend would find comfort in them, but I'm afraid to suggest that she still go. I wouldn't want her to take it the wrong way. She actually reads these boards. I hesitated even starting this thread, but figured that you guys would be the best resource when it comes to this. And also figured that she would not be hanging out here anytime soon again.

 

[albiats]

Originally posted by mcnuss
You might still be able to get insurance from a 3rd party, like Travelguard, to protect you should anything happen between now & December 1. There are web sites that will price it out for you, but I don't know the URL. You could probably do a search. I have heard on this Board that there are many options that are less costly than DCL's.

Here's one site that will give you a quote and allow you to purchase the insurance online : http://www.csatravelprotection.com/insure/default.ssc

Their phone number is 800-873-9855.

I haven't used their insurance but I investigated it a while back. You can purchase insurance from them up until the day before your trip but they won't cover existing conditions unless you buy it within the first 7 days of booking your cruise.

hope that helps