A question for Mothers with daughters in puberty

[DNSDisney]

I really need a suggestion on how i might get my (11yr old) daughter to try tampons. She loves to swim but seems to be afraid to try tampons. I hate seeing her miss out on all the swimming in the summer. I don't want to try to force her and have only meantioned it once to her. She has had her period for a yr now. Last summer when I first meantioned it I bought a starter tampon pack and told her if she wanted to use them they would be in the bathroom, if she wanted my help to let me know.
We have read "the care and feeding of Me" so she knows the basics of it. Also told her there were instructions in the pack.
Swimming is her favorite summer sport and up until last yr was in swim meets. She seems sad no to be able to do this now and I don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be really great!
Thanks
Sharon

 

[epcotfan]

Personally I think you've done all you can do. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Can't she swim outside of her period? I know at 11 there was NO WAY I would have used one. I don't blame her for being hesitant.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

12yo dd hasn't started yet and I can't even get her to talk about looking at the different products out there for 'when' she starts. She starts saying yuck and covers her ears.
I think what you have done is great and I'll bet she will do it when she is ready.

 

[tkd lisa]

Swimming was why I started using tampons. It was because I was on a swim team and couldn't miss practice/meets. Again, no way I would have done this if I didn't have to!

Probably a little too much information, but what the heck. My mom actually put it in the first time. That way I was sure it was in right so I could figure out what it was supposed to feel like.

Best of luck!

 

[goofy4tink]

My 9 y/o has been giving this a lot of thought. She has the American Girl book and has read it cover to cover, repeatedly!!! I remember when I was 13 and dying to try tampons. I just had to sit there and experiment! I would say to just leave them where your dd can get at them and let nature take its course.

 

[CRB#33]

My DD had the same problem at the same age. She just finally realized she had no choice if she wanted to swim with the team. It took a few tries, however. Get the smallest ones you can find.

 

[Serena]

All you can do is encourage her.

 

[Lanshark]

DD also swam on the swim team and had no other choice if she didn't want to miss meets or practice. When she was ready she made the decision on her own. As someone else mentioned get the smallest ones and something with a very easy to insert and use applicator. I believe I advised her to lie down when she was first trying to figure out how to insert them. It made it easier than standing for her.

 

[browneyes]

I didn't start using tampons until I was about 27 yo (and after I had my 2nd child). You might want to ask your dd's ped if she's able to use them. Those things can be VERY dangerous.

 

[Patricia]

I have to agree with the previous posters. My older daughter started when she was ready to do it. I tried and tried to get her to consider it while we were on a beach vacation and we missed going to a water park with a whole group. She was mortified that I would even suggest it. Then, later in the day, she came to me saying she had done it herself. The motivation has to come from the young woman. Give her a chance, she'll come around.

 

[DNSDisney]

Thank you all for your responces. I guess I was just wondering if there was anything I hadn't thought to try. She too says "Yuck" to the idea or did the first time I meantioned it. Just hate to see her miss out on all the fun of summer again . I guess it will just be a wait and see .

 

[Breezy_Carol]

In addition to the other suggestions, I wondered if there was a girl closer to her age that she could talk to. Either an older friend or trusted sitter or older swim team member. Sometimes these things have to come from someone other than mom.

 

[Dodie]

Even though she's had her period for a year already, she's just SO YOUNG! (I know that this is happening younger and younger these days.)

It may just not be something she can handle yet. If it has to happen so she can swim, this may push her that direction. I think you've done all you can do.

 

[becka]

I think you have probably done all you can. I started when I was 10 as well and I was not ready to try tampons until I was at least 14-15.

 

[Tess]

Our daughter was 11 when she started. She had several months to adjust to the monthly before swimming season began. She had NO idea at first that she would have to use a tampon OR not swim--she just figured she'd use the pads. I carefully explained her options and told her I would be happy to help her if she decided she wanted to try using tampons for swim time. (She is a real water baby and we have a pool.)

At first she wanted nothing to do with tampons--and to be honest, I wasn't real keen on her using them. Ultimately though, she was motivated by her own love of swimming AND a vacation with her grandmother, aunt, and four male cousins. There was no way she was going to miss using the beach and pool on the vacation.

I helped her at first--maybe twice. She has slowly gotten the hang of it. That was a year ago next month. She is only using the tampons now for the swim time things, but at least she's more comfortable with them. I'm glad because I'm sure that she will spend part of her Disney vacation dealing with it--if she has my luck anyway--when I was still in that stage of life, I never missed a vacation regardless of when we went!

I'd agree, try and find the "slenders" if she opts to use them. Despite the kids' covering their ears--they do hear us when we speak as long as we are comfortable with the subject matter. We are very open about all these subjects even with her 15 y/o brother around--consequently, so is she. She did have the "ick" reaction initially though!

 

[DNSDisney]

I know she is young . I started when I was 13 so you can image my surprise when last yr at 10 she did. She really doesn't see it as a step into womanhood she sees it as a curse. And I understand that, I felt sad for her too because she is so young.
Also I don't think I was ready for her to start! I sat around all that day thinking "oh my God, My baby is growing up" I felt really old at that point LOL
She has handled it better though than I expected . She is an only child and has been spoiled and babied beyond belief. It has matured her a bit, she needed that. But she is still my baby!


This picture below is her at 6 yrs old.

 

[December99]

Now here's an embarrassing question but I have got to ask....how to help your daughter use tampons when you have never used them and won't use them? My flow (I pray to God we don't have alot of men looking at this thread but....) is very heavy and it's hard for me to wear them. But I've been trying to encourage her to wear them and she won't. I asked her to aske my mom to help her but now she can't do that because my mom's not here. I have asked her to talk to her aunt and I asked her aunt if she would if dd ever asked and she said of course. Well due to circumstances out of my control - that probably won't happen because dd isn't allowed to see her dads side of the family right now (long story). So how to help teach someone to use them when you haven't? Are the instructions good enough to help her? We are doing the cruise this summer and I have an idea she is going to be having her period sometime while we're gone (she's very irregular so we never know when it's going to hit). She has been putting a pad on with her bathing suit and that has been fine as water seems to help but I don't know if this will work for as much as she will be in the water during our vacation.

 

[Lanshark]

Joke

A young boy walks in to the neighborhood CVS and picks up a box of tampons. He proceeds to go to the pharmacy to checkout when the Pharmacist asks if he is sure he is buying the right thing. The little boy replys, "Yes, they're for my younger brother". The Pharmacist tries to gently tell him that he must have made a mistake and is purchasing the wrong thing. The boy stubbornly says "Nope, these are for my little brother. The advertisements say you can swim and bike with them and since he can't do either I thought these would help".

 

[jrmasm]

I taught myself by reading the directions that were found in the box!

 

[laceemouse]

Thank you for starting this thread. My oldest DD just turned 12 on Monday. She started her period last fall right after starting Jr. High. With summer coming I was wondering about this. We haven't discussed this and NO WAY would she let me help her. We do have the American Girl book. I have some super small tampons so I guess I will just give them to her and let her try them when she is ready. I think I was a little older when I started using them. She has handled the whole period thing better then I thought she would. I have two younger daughters so Chelsea is my test subject (HaHa) I also have one son, poor guy!