A question for homeschooling parents

[auntpolly]

I ask this question to learn, not judge, so if there are any responses I probably won't say much - my opinions don't count here because I've never home schooled.

What are your goals for your child as they grow up? I've always wondered it but never could think of a concise way to ask it (let's see if I can manage this time.)

For whatever reason you've decided to homeschool, doesn't really matter what it is, you have really taken control of your child's education and the child will spend alot more of his time with you.

Is that what you want for them as adults? Will you be upset if say, you live in Virginia and they want to go to college at UCLA - or if they'd get a job in Barcelona?
Or is your goal for your family to always stay tight knit - do you picture Sunday dinners with them for the rest of your life.

Any answers would be appreciated! Just something I've always wondered.

 

[mom2rb]

I want them to grow up to be happy, well adjusted, self sufficient adults. One son tells me he his moving to Japan to make video games and the other one wants to be President. So I guess no Sunday dinners for us.

 

[auntpolly]

I want them to grow up to be happy, well adjusted, self sufficient adults. One son tells me he his moving to Japan to make video games and the other one wants to be President. So I guess no Sunday dinners for us.

My DD used to tell me she was going to college in Europe -- until it came time for college and she was looking closer and closer to home -- they always talk big when they are little

So you won't put limits on where they go to college, for instance?

 

[mom2rb]

No, they can go any where they like. I will only pay the amount equal to an in state school so that will probably narrow it down for them. I don't home school because I want to be with my kids 24/7. I home school because I think the public schools suck. The private schools around here are almost all religious, we are not. The non-religious ones cost about $10,000 a year. With two kids that is too much. For about $3,600 a year I can pay for them to take the classes that I can't or don't want to teach. Right now I pay for Writing, Science, Art and Spanish.

 

[teacups]

My friend home schools, so I dont speak for myself.... but she does it becasue her kids had issues that were not being met. (Show me one kid who is in public school who doesnt!) Her kids are not weird, btw. They are just getting the best education possible. Seems like a lot of folks are overly focused on how their kids fit socially to me... if more people were genuine about wanting the very best EDUCATION, there would be more HS happening. It takes disipline, focus, commitment, diligence.... I dont see how that could be wrong. Maybe her kids wont be out sleeping around, or drinking, or forming cliques when they are older. Maybe they wont be focused on fashion and peers and TV that they'll seem different.... who knows. I'm pretty sure she bottle fed and did not co-sleep, btw.

Poor things.

 

[teacups]

I home school because I think the public schools suck.

anyone who doesnt agree with that statement is not looking close enough... or just darn lucky! Or maybe overly anxious that their kids "fit in" that they dont want to see it.

 

[Barb D]

I am no longer homeschooling, but I'll take a stab at this any way. There are some homeschoolers who truly shelter their children, limiting their exposure to outside influences and doing everything as a family and through the home. This is NOT true of most homeschoolers. Most homeschoolers expose their kids to a wide variety of activities and experiences. Several of my sister's kids have taken trips to Bolivia, for example. Her oldest is now in college studying journalism, is an intern for a major Florida newspaper, and has recently had an article on the front page.

My son wants to go to the Air Force Academy; they actually recruit homeschooled kids. (He's no longer hsed, BTW.) I know a homeschooled girl at the Naval Academy.

Homeschooling is a different educational choice. It most certainly can lead to closer families. I ADORED those days of snuggling with my kids teaching them to read. I wish I had that kind of relationship with DD7, who is going through the public school experience. (I still get to snuggle and read with her, but it's different.) But homeschooling doesn't have to lead to sheltered, homebound kids and young adults.

 

[auntpolly]

My friend home schools, so I dont speak for myself.... but she does it becasue her kids had issues that were not being met. (Show me one kid who is in public school who doesnt!) Her kids are not weird, btw. They are just getting the best education possible. Seems like a lot of folks are overly focused on how their kids fit socially to me... if more people were genuine about wanting the very best EDUCATION, there would be more HS happening. It takes disipline, focus, commitment, diligence.... I dont see how that could be wrong. Maybe her kids wont be out sleeping around, or drinking, or forming cliques when they are older. Maybe they wont be focused on fashion and peers and TV that they'll seem different.... who knows. I'm pretty sure she bottle fed and did not co-sleep, btw.

Poor things.

I'm not asking those questions - and I hope not to focus on reasons or judgements on parents who homeschool. I just wondered about long range plans for their kids.

 

[auntpolly]

But homeschooling doesn't have to lead to sheltered, homebound kids and young adults.

Really not saying that - I don't want anyone to feel defensive by my question. I just wondered what they are picturing for their adult children.

I always had ideas of what I'd like for my DD - and she's getting to do alot of things I'd hoped she'd do -- it's certainly not a crime to think about what their lives will be like when they grow up.

 

[Barb D]

anyone who doesnt agree with that statement is not looking close enough... or just darn lucky! Or maybe overly anxious that their kids "fit in" that they dont want to see it.

Not all public schools "suck." I've been EXTREMELY pleased with my kids' public school experience --- and this comes from someone who loved homeschooling, too. They have incredibly dedicated, enthusiastic teachers who care about them, and I'm convinced that they are getting a more than adequate education. (BTW, I have one in high school, one in middle school, and one in elementary school, and I'm happy with all of them.) That is, of course, not true of all public schools.

Public school experiences, like homeshool experiences, vary. What works for one family (or even for one kid within a family) might not work for another family (or kid), and what works at one time for one kid might not work at another time for the same kid.

 

[WDWDancer]

I was homeschooled because I forced my parents too...I was SOOO bored at public school...graduated high school and started college when I was 15. Now I know I am weird (LOL) but we were so involved with my dancing, horse showing, and other family things that I have amazing social skills. I also worked at a municipal court starting when I was 13..not many 21 year olds can say they have a goverment pension and could retire in a couple years!

My parents goals were to allow me to excel in my education so I could chase my dreams...my sister lives next door to them (she went to public school, college in the neighboring town, and is married) I went to college, got my degree, moved to Orlando....an am now going to law school

 

[disneymom3]

AP--I think a lot of people wonder about this too and I appreciate the way you are asking. My kids are 10. 6 and 5 and we have homeschooled since DD was in 1st grade. As far as my goals for them, I hope that they all go to college. Simply becuase I believe it makes life easier in the long run to have that degree. Education is very important to us--clearly or I would have a lot more free time!! Now, looking at their personalities, I would not be surprised if they went nontraditional ways. Actually DD will probably pick a small 4 year college like I did. That is just how she is. Outgoing, but doesn't want to be overwhelmed either. Youngest DS, I would guess is going to either grow up to be a mechanic (That would be LOVELY!!) or he also tells us very often that he is going to be a soldier.(If that is what he wants, that would be lovely too.) Middle DS I am not sure about. He is less outgoing and independent than his brother and sister. I wouldn't be surprised if he picked a local school.

As for Sunday dinner, I would love to see them whenever they come by. Overall though, I don't think it is any different than for other families. Each one has their distinct personalities and goals. I do hope we will be closeknit and I love that even now my kids are really good friends but I don't think that is dependent on homeschooling.

I will very definitely say though that DH and I look forward to times with just the two of us as well. We want to run off to WDW or elsewhere whenever we want and not have to worry about where the kids are or what they are doing! Unlike some of the homeschoolers you see on TV I do NOT want my kids somewhere on my 40 acres. Come and visit but then go HOME!

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

Three of my younger sisters were home schooled. My mom also enrolled them in programs such as dance, art, and music. They were not sheltered at all. My mom just wanted them to have a good education. They all have college degrees and are very successful, well-rounded people.

My brother and his wife, who both attended private school and have college degrees, have chosen to home school their kids as well. I think one of the main reasons they have chosen to home school is to have control of their children's education. Their children are also in the boy scouts, girl scouts, art programs, karate, and things like that.

 

[auntpolly]

OK, if you guys want to talk about reasons for homeschooling, that's not what I'm curious about but OK, whatever.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

OK, if you guys want to talk about reasons for homeschooling, that's not what I'm curious about but OK, whatever.

Ok. The goals my parents had for my sisters were to get a good education and a college degree so they could become sucessful in life. Two of the three of them don't live in the same state as my parents. So no, their goal wasn't to keep their kids by their sides for the rest of their lives.

 

[Barb D]

OK, if you guys want to talk about reasons for homeschooling, that's not what I'm curious about but OK, whatever.

You know, I think the goals of homeschooling parents are the same as the goals of ANY parents: happy, healthy, well educated, well adjusted children who grow into happy, healthy, well educated, well adjusted adults.
Whatever the career goal, whatever the lifestyle, homeschooling is another route.

 

[auntpolly]

Ok. The goals my parents had for my sisters were to get a good education and a college degree so they could become sucessful in life. Two of the three of them don't live in the same state as my parents. So no, their goal wasn't to keep their kids by their sides for the rest of their lives.

Thanks - that's interesting!

I wouldn't even think there was even anything wrong if the parents were hoping the kids would stay close - I think it's so sad in this country how when we don't live close to our family for holidays and such.

I just wondered if that was a goal.

 

[Brier Rose]

I guess I'm considered the weird one in my family.

No one in my family (very large extended family) has ever even considered homeschooling, BUT, I grew up in a house on a small 10 acre tract of land where my parents, grandparents, and aunt and uncle all built houses. We were within very easy walking distance of each other, and I grew up surrounded by cousins, and we'd all meet for Sunday dinner at Grandma and Grandaddy's house.

It was expected or at least hoped that all of us would at minimum stay in the same small town. I watched one aunt actually have a nervous breakdown when her oldest daughter moved.

That is not what I want for myself OR my children! Our goal in homeschooling is to enable them to persue whatever their dreams are! Of course that means college, but more than that I want them to experience the world.

Being from a small town I have seen so many kids..NOT homeschooled kids..just graduate and STAY there. That's fine if that's what they really want, but it seems more like a pattern that can't be broken.

The first thing we did was move to a larger city! We try to travel as much as we can, so the kids really know what's out there! I mean if they want to live right next door to us great! If they want to move half way around the world..I would miss them like crazy, but as long as they're doing what they feel called in this life to do, I'm behind them 1000%!

 

[LiteBrite]

I homeschooled my DD all the way through from kindergarten to high school graduation last year. She is now a freshman in college. She goes to a state university that's only a 45 minute drive from our house, but that was her choice. She lives in the dorm, and we see her once or sometimes twice a week.

My longrange goal for her was always a happy, fullfilled life in the career of her choosing. I'm glad she wanted to go to college, but I was open to other paths for her as well, had she chosen a less traditional route. In terms of where she goes to college, I feel blessed that she's so close by, but I wouldn't try to stand in her way if she wanted to go to school far away (assuming she earned the same scholarship money elsewhere that she has now).

ETA: Aunt Polly, I'm not sure if this is part of what you were asking or not, but it is true that a big part of the reason that we chose to homeschool was that we wanted the kind of very close family relationships that we saw among homeschooling families that we knew, and if it worked out that we always lived near each other in the future, I would be thrilled with that. It's looking extremely unlikely, and we never actively tried to make DD want to always live near us, but we are still a very closeknit family, and I imagine we always will be.

 

[JennyMominRI]

I homeschooled for a long time.. I want well rounded adults with a lifelong love for learning.. I want kids who can go out and seek info on their own. I want them to see themselves as a sponge that can seek out and learn things on their own,not as an empty pitcher that needs info poured in them from and outside souce..I'M not saying they can't learn this in PS.. Many times they can. Not always though.. I am not a sheltering kind of parent. I want them exposed to things. I want them to be adults that think outside the box, seek out new things , new experiences, new places etc... Honestly ,I think I would be a little sad if they grew up ,stayed here and never really saw the rest of this big beautiful diverse world. I want them to fly