a question for Christians concerning Santa Claus

[laurajetter]

Now that I have a child, the issue of how to explain Santa Claus looms over me in just a few short years. Being a Christian, I want my child first and foremost to understand the real meaning behind Christmas, that it's Jesus' birthday, and why that is so important.

However, I remember the pure magical feeling I got waiting for Santa to come and bring all my presents, finding a crumb-filled plate and empty milk glass, waiting in line to tell him my list of things I wanted, etc. I don't want to deprive my son of such wonderful childhood memories by explaining the truth about Santa from the beginning, not even giving him a chance to believe.

So the question is, how can DH and I teach our son about Jesus being the 'reason for the season' yet still enable him to believe in Santa for a while? How do you explain both concepts to a kid?

And finally, a question about something that I've thought about over the years but never needed to really worry about until now. When the time comes down the road to tell your child the truth that Santa isn't real, how do you break it to them? How do you justify to them the fact that you have 'lied' about it to him all these years? Just been wondering about this stuff!


Laura

 

[SwedishMeatball]

Now that I have a child, the issue of how to explain Santa Claus looms over me in just a few short years. Being a Christian, I want my child first and foremost to understand the real meaning behind Christmas, that it's Jesus' birthday, and why that is so important.

However, I remember the pure magical feeling I got waiting for Santa to come and bring all my presents, finding a crumb-filled plate and empty milk glass, waiting in line to tell him my list of things I wanted, etc. I don't want to deprive my son of such wonderful childhood memories by explaining the truth from the beginning.

So the question is, how can DH and I teach our son about Jesus being the 'reason for the season' yet still enable him to believe in Santa for a while? How do you explain both concepts to a kid?

And finally, a question about something that I've thought about over the years but never needed to really worry about until now. When the time comes down the road to tell your child the truth that Santa isn't real, how do you break it to them? How do you justify to them the fact that you have 'lied' about it to him all these years? Just been wondering about this stuff!


Laura

When my mom did break the news to me, I can remember feeling so sad and I immediately asked about the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy and she confirmed that they also weren't "real". I felt all panicky and my eyes filled up with tears and I said, "Does that mean Jesus isn't real either?" I was really freaked out. My mom felt awful and of course reassured me that wasn't the case. We laugh about it now, but I really did take the news hard at first. I remember with my daughter worrying about the same thing, but she really didn't seem phased in the slightest. Now my son is at that age when he will be finding out soon. I think he'll be fine with it as well. I was just too sensitive of a kid I think.

 

[MinnieM3]

Santa's not real???
He's real in my house for me, DH, DD20, DS17 and of course, DS6!

 

[Tasha+Scott]

I am also a Christian and I always knew the real meaning of Christmas as well as believing in Santa as a child. It actually isn't as difficult as you might think...at least I don't remember it being that hard for my mom to explain to us growing up. We always did all of the presents/writing a list to Santa/seeing Santa in the mall, etc., Christmas type things. But we also read the story of Jesus's birth out of the Bible every Christmas morning as well as praying before we opened presents and wishing him a happy b-day and thanking him for all of our many blessings. That was an easy way for us as children to comprehend both aspects of Christmas. And sometimes my mom would even bake a cake on Christmas (we lived on AFB growing up so we didn't have any big family get togethers, just my brothers and my parents) and write "Happy Birthday, Jesus" on it. That was another thing that we liked and it helped us understand better as children. I won't be baking the cake but I like the idea of praying and reading the Bible passage to my children as well as visiting family and opening presents. So that is what we will be doing with our children when they are old enough to understand.

As far as how to tell the kids about Santa not being real? Well, honestly, by the time my mom told me I had known the truth for years. I just didn't tell her b/c I was afraid I would not get anything in my stocking anymore and my 2 younger brothers would, lol! I remember I was a little bummed but I didn't think about my mom lying or anything really. And looking back now I am glad I believed in Santa. It made things more magical so I wouldn't change "the lie" and I hope my own dd feels the same way one day when she discovers her own mommy had made the whole thing up!

 

[Nik's Mom]

In the Mexican culture (dh and I are Mexican-American) they have a tradition where you sing songs about the birth of Jesus on Christmas (midnight, to be exact). Some of us will be outside knocking on the door and asking to come inside (like Mary and Joseph). The people inside will sing a verse saying there's no room. Then we knock again, etc, etc. It really brings the message home, even for children. Then when we are done, we open the presents, including Santa's gift. Oh yeah, and we eat tamales until New Years Day! Love it!

 

[the kabuki]

The reason we celebrate Christmas is Jesus' birth. Santa Claus is one way to have us celebrate his birthday.Just like when the wise men brought gifts. But without Jesus, there would be no Christmas. That's what I've told my little ones. Short simple and to the point

My older one never outright asked, just sort of gave me indications (like rolling her eyes, winking at me when i mentioned Santa) that she knew he wasn't real.

 

[laurie31]

Hi

I feel as you do. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Christ, the gift of a savior. That goes over kids' heads for several years. After all, they have to be able to grasp the concept that they are sinners before they can understand the wondrous gift of a savior.

My parents are also devout Christians yet had no problems with us being visited by Santa, the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy, etc. When I figured out the truth, I thought it was pretty cool that my parents would go to all that trouble Mom asked me not to tell my little brother saying, "Isn't it fun to believe?" Of course it is, and I actually didn't tell!

Just make sure your Christmas celebration includes the focus on Christ and not just stuff. My Dad read the Christmas story (Luke 2) on Christmas Eve. We attended the special services at church, etc. Now we do the Advent wreath with our girls. It's not a part of our specific denomination, but I think it's a nice thing. Each Sunday of Advent, we light the candle and read a few ago-appropriate verses about the prediction of Jesus's coming. When we started, we just read a verse or two, now we read more. It reminds them that the excitement is about Christ. Of course being children, they are still excited about Santa, but I don't think that's evil. After all, Santa is about love. We love our kids so much we want them to have this fun and excitement, we want to give them wonderful gifts. Think how much more God loves us, His children and wants to give us wonderful things. (I know *you* know this, but it's something your child will learn from you. )

The only...um...oops moment I ever had was when DD1 was about 4. She usually prayed very sweet prayers at bedtime, but that night she was just listing off everything she wanted. I didn't usually interrupt her prayers but finally I could stand it no longer and said, "Honey, don't you think you've asked God for enough things? Don't you want to thank Him for some things you already have?" She looked at me like I was nuts and said, "I'm not talking to God, I'm talking to Santa Claus!" O-kay...we do not pray to Santa! Yikes! It was kind of cute, though.

It's so hard to figure out what to do sometimes. There's no right and wrong, just don't make religion the antithesis of fun. God wants us to be happy Make up your own personal traditions that will bring the wonder and excitement of Christmas to your family

Laurie

ETA - we also have a "Happy Birthday Jesus" cake along with all the other desserts at Christmas dinner. We sing happy birthday and everything. They also have a birthday party for Jesus in their Sunday School class at church. They usually ask the kids to bring food or toys for the needy. This lets them do some giving along with all the getting

 

[Buckalew11]

I think you treat Santa as fun. I never went into elaborate details about Santa. DD wanted to believe in him and wanted him to bring her gifts on Christmas morning so there wasn't a whole lot of "lying" going on. Sometimes as she got a little older (6 or 7 probably) she'd ask me if he was real. I'd always answer her with a "what do you think?" question. I also bought a children's book called "Santa, Are You For Real?" and we read that together about that same time.

I remember thinking that I never wanted her to doubt God and His love and Jesus Christ, so I always tried to explain things about God much differently than a fun, fictional type thing as Santa coming down the chimney. I never thought about a child even thinking that if you "lie" about Santa you might be lying about God until I read it somewhere. We did the santa thing when I was growing up (in fact, mom would get mad now if she saw me say I don't bleive in Santa) and I never thought my parents might have been fooling me about there being a God.

Enjoy! they grow up too fast.

 

[Rella Bella]

I used to feel it was lying. It bothered me for a while. But when I looked back at my own childhood, I had enjoyed those moments so much. I don't feel like my parents decieved me... they just followed a tradition.

Now that my son is old enough that he's asking... I never lie to him. I ask him questions. Today I said "What do you want to believe?" I think he really knows, but he doesn't want the fun to end. I think in time it will all play out... just like it did for me.

There are lots of ways to teach your child the true meaning of Christmas. Mainly by your example and how you tell the Christmas story. What parts of tradition you emphasis. Santa is a small part of our celebration... but 'he' is a part.

There are some really sweet ceramic pieces of Santa kneeling in prayer at the manger. There are some great books about this too. There are also books about the story of the real St. Nicholas... which illustrate the spirit of giving and that the reason we give is because of God's gift. If you go to any Christian or Catholic (don't know where you fall here) bookstore you will find a good selection to choose from.

My son knew from an early age that 'Jesus Birthday' was the real meaning of Christmas. When he was small some friends & I had a birthday party for our kids... with cake, singing the whole bit. (There's a special cake you can bake that has parts that represent the entire story of Christ's life... it's very neat but would really be for older kids. When the kids were little they just wanted to sing and blow out the candles.)

We always go to church... we always tell the Christmas story as a family... we have 'Jesus is the reason for the season' mugs, etc. Santa is a part... but compared to Jesus... a very small part.

 

[N.Bailey]

The 1st thing you need to do is stop over analyzing it so much. Kids aren't advanced enough to really pick it all up. Your child is very trusting of you right now. Whatever you say, he'll believe. Stress Christ's birth as the reason we celebrate Christmas.

You do know Christ was not born on Christmas, right? Much evidence suggests he was born in the spring and no where in the Bible does it cover the date of his birth. Thru time, Christmas just became the day his birth was celebrated. My mother in law teaches at her church and she doesn't think God intended for us to celebrate his birth at all. It's crystal clear in the Bible when he died and when he was resurrected though. It would seem God wanted us to celebrate and remember on these two days. Back on topic:

I doubt very much that you'll be the one breaking it to your child either. The kids in school with take care of that just fine for you and way before you want them to. IMO, when he does find out, it's imperative that you acknowledge that there is no Santa and we only pretend there is because it makes things seem very magical, but..... You need to stress that Christ is not fictitious, as Santa is, and then I'd recover the entire reason Christmas is celebrated in the 1st place.

I think most kids just accept things. You're their parent and they believe in you and they believe you speak the truth. I know it's a lie that we tell them, but it would be sad to not have that fairy tale feeling for the little time that we get it.

Just for the record, my sister told me (she's 3 years older) and I was devastated. She said, well you think that's bad, guess what? There is no tooth fairy or Easter Bunny either. I was completely devastated all at once!!!

I'm telling you though, when a child gets this type of juicy information, they tell EVERY kid they come into contact with.

 

[Aidensmom]

My 4 year old understands that Christmas is a celebration of Jesus' birth.

I have explained to him that because Jesus is not here on earth right now, instead of giving him presents for his birthday, we give them to each other. And Santa is just a very generous man who makes sure all the little boys and the girls get presents.

To him right now, I think it is actually a pretty simple concept.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Participate the whole advent season. We get an advent calendar. We talk about Jesus' birthday. We get presents on behalf of Jesus to celebrate his birthday.

I'm more concerned about lying about Santa--so even though we have Santa...our latest thing is that mommy has to pay Santa for the gifts.

Jesus being born precisely on Christmas day is irrelevant--it is the time that we celebrate his birth. Spring is a bit busy focusing on his death. Advent and Christmas is an important time to discuss his birth. And in my faith--Easter is the most important time of year.

 

[Rella Bella]

Wow! A lot of us posted all at once... or I was busy typing while you all posted!
I LOVED the Mexican-American idea! What a wonderful tradition.

I googled the Jesus birthday cake if anyone is interested:
http://www.maryricehopkins.com/devotions/december.pdf

Isn't it fun getting ready for the holidays!!

 

[julia & nicks mom]

My mom always tells me she would hate to live in a house where Santa wasn't real - it is more what he represents than who he is - I am 33 and Santa still brings me presents every year - and all 4 of my parents kids were smart enough to never ask the question!!

in our house we have a kneeling santa

and read this story: this is paraphrasing it
http://www.christianexpressionsuperstore.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=3576
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The story is about how Santa hears people talking about how he has taken away the true meaning of Christmas and he starts to cry as he delivers his presents on Christmas eve - was it his fault that some people forget about Jesus?

His final stop as usual was a church with a life size nativity - Santa always wanted to be the first to wish Jesus Happy Birthday and give him a special gift - but that year he couldn't bring himself to approach the nativity and hid his gift under a pew - he heard a voice call - Santa! Saint Nicholas!

He realized it was God who told him that all he had ever done was spread the true Christmas spirit - it has a quick history of St. Nicholas and what he is the patron saints of and how he came to be santa - and then a history of how he has changed over the years

then God tells him (and I will quote the book)

"Jesus and I want to thank you for helping spread the news about Christmas to every corner of the world...every year you help millions of people, young and old, show how much they love one another. Because of you people fill ther hearts with joy and love on Jesus' special day"

then feeling better Santa takes his gift to Jesus - the same gift he gives him every year - his list of all the kind and loving things people had done for one another over the year
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My kids are really too little to fully grasp the story - but I make sure I read it every year and I keep my kneeling Santa where he reminds me of the true meaning of Christmas

 

[mommyoeo]

Hello! We don't do Santa at all. My children think the Christmas story wonderous and exciting. They have never felt left out. We don't tell the secret to our friends'd children; it's something we keep to ourselves. They see it as we're letting them in on a secret and it makes them feel big. Our reasons were that we didn't want to lie and we didn't feel that Santa had anything extra to add to Christmas. We didn't think the children would miss out-- the Christmas story was enough! It was special, exciting and wonderful and didn't need a super hero to add to the magic of the holiday. That being said, I don't have any probs with anyone saying Santa is real, as long as it's not at church. I don't think the children should be taught anything at church that needs to be "un-taught" later in life, because as the other person mentioned, it may cause a child to wonder if ANYTHING they were taught was true. I do not want Christ to be coupled with anything fictional, ever, for that reason alone.

Now, on to greed... I'm greedy. I want my children to see that I love them, not Santa. I want them to know that mommy and daddy sacrificed to buy them these few things because we love them and that God met our needs with a little extra that we were excited to use for them. I want them to know that Christ was our model for gifts because God sent him as a gift to us. And I want them to know that the wise men brought gifts to Jesus. I want Jesus to be the focus of it all. I guess I'm greedy on God's behalf also.

This probably sounds extreme but let me assure you that my children are lively, happy and already asked tonight if we could put our tree up.

Good thread!

Christy

 

[laurajetter]

Thanks for all of your insight, it's interesting to see the different ways people approach this topic. You all had great suggestions!

Laura

 

[PaulaSue]

We don't do Santa at our house but they still get to experience it. The girls do get to see Santa at Great Grandmas house and get a gift and have watched some movies with friends.

We don't do Christmas as big as my friends do. We do give the girls gifts but make it more for the reason of the season.

The oldest knows that it is a story but I don't make a big deal out of it not being real as not to spoil it for others.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Hello! We don't do Santa at all. My children think the Christmas story wonderous and exciting. They have never felt left out. We don't tell the secret to our friends'd children; it's something we keep to ourselves. They see it as we're letting them in on a secret and it makes them feel big. Our reasons were that we didn't want to lie and we didn't feel that Santa had anything extra to add to Christmas. We didn't think the children would miss out-- the Christmas story was enough! It was special, exciting and wonderful and didn't need a super hero to add to the magic of the holiday. That being said, I don't have any probs with anyone saying Santa is real, as long as it's not at church. I don't think the children should be taught anything at church that needs to be "un-taught" later in life, because as the other person mentioned, it may cause a child to wonder if ANYTHING they were taught was true. I do not want Christ to be coupled with anything fictional, ever, for that reason alone.

We have the story of Saint Nicholas. He was a real person at one point. That is how we get out of the "lying" part as I don't like the "lying" part. We read about it every year. I think the story we have is fictionalized--but there is no reindeer, no sleigh, and no north pole. Just a priest who delivered gifts to one family, wearing red. That is how Santa originated, and how the massive gift giving concept began. And in a way--we are all "Santa".

 

[Buckalew11]

I was told the truth in public school in NJ in the early 70s. Can you imagine a teacher doing that today?! She told us about the historical St. Nicholas. I don't remember even being devasted by the whole thing.

 

[N.Bailey]

I was told the truth in public school in NJ in the early 70s. Can you imagine a teacher doing that today?! She told us about the historical St. Nicholas. I don't remember even being devasted by the whole thing.

My niece was attending a private Christian school and the school informed all the kids in kindergarten that there was no Santa. My BIL and SIL were perfectly okay with it, but hubby and I were PO'd that the school took it upon themselves to do such a thing.

IMO, some things should just be left up to a parent to decide. My SIL told me that they had no prior knowledge that the school was going to do this. She was still okay with it. NOT ME THOUGH!!!