A Question... Am I over-reacting here?

[clgwli]

I am usually one who leaves parents to do the parenting and stay out of most issues when it comes to raising kids as all parents think their way is best for their child.

However no way I would allow this to continue anymore. This is simply an accident waiting to happen with all they ignore. I don't know exactly what I would do in your shoes, but I would not take this lightly at all. Keep the baby safe and alive. Do not allow this to happen anymore.

 

[MoniqueU]

My cousins have the same attitude with their little ones but nothing as bad as this. I am not one for just calling on any little thing but there are several huge red flags. This is not good....l agree you need to make the call.

 

[scottishduffy]

Yes, he listened to Mom. Agreed not to do it again, and said he believed it was ok since Baby was sleeping and contained within a crib. They had a looooong talk about it. This is Bro's first child.

I am just struggling because I know they love the child, it was a very planned and loved child. Yet they are both totally clueless at times! I worry that now that nephew will be learning to walk he will NOT be safe.

We are watching them a bit closer now. We know they have regular sitter at home, who is even there with SIL since her vision is so bad. But my mom and Dad are basically planning a vacation out there shortly just to 'check-up' on nephew and make sure everything is what it should be. At that point i think we will decide if anything further needs to be done.... but it was a long week with them this week.

I hope they were just exhausted parents looking for a vacation from baby, but my parents are definitely following up by going to see them in their home state for visit soon.

 

[NMAmy]

The baby likes tires? Good heavens. The whole thing is just bizarre and you are definitely not overreacting. Brother or no, I'd be making a phone call, especially since he didn't seem to take the discussion with you and your parents particularly seriously.

 

[DawnCt1]

To be painfully honest... that sounds like a case for DSS. That's neglect, and that child is going to get hurt. If I were you, I would make an annonomous phone call to child welfare and have them investigated. I know it's family, but if something ever happened to that baby, could you live with yourself knowing what you've witnessed?

Absolutely. Anyone of those incidents are examples of neglect. In its totality? That family should not have responsibility for that child. That is how they behave when someone is looking. Can you imagine what life is like for that baby when the door is closed?

 

[Cindyluwho]

You are not over reacting. I would call child protective services. You can do so anonymously.

Posters keep repeating this statement, but I can tell you that here in Washington State you cannot call anonymously. You have to give all of your info to make a complaint.

 

[61292cna]

I feel so sorry for this child! The parents shouldn't have an animal, let alone a child!! While I understand your not wanting the child hurt, & I would have done the samething, they will keep being this way, until everyone stops enableing them, so please call DCFS!!!

 

[MonorailNate]

If I am not mistaken, in our state, you are required to report any incident that would be considered child endangerment. There is no question that this is child endangerment. How would you feel if you didn't report this to CPS and something horrible happened to the child? That's what you need to be thinking about.

 

[merrily]

How about a parenting class? Or a home visiting program? It sounds as if they are clueless new parents who really haven't thought about what is safe. Maybe you could do a little research and see if there is one in their area. I am hoping that the behavior you witnessed (except for leaving baby alone which is completely inexcusable) was just because they felt like they were on vacation and thought everyone else would love to look after their little guy.

 

[Liberty Belle]

They are neglecting their child and breaking the law. They cannot leave a one year old child in the house alone when they're off their property! Wow. I don't know what I'd do, but I'd have to do something.

 

[RitaZ.]

So, the baby was allowed to crawl on the pavement and all over the place at the party for several hours. There has to be some visible damage on his hands/skin. There are so many things wrong here. How old are the parents?

http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/foundation/foundationc.cfm

 

[4nana]

Dear Lord, so unbelievable, I can't get passed #1 !!!!!!

 

[Inigo]

You need to report this to CPS. If you don't report them, and then something happens to this child, how will you feel, knowing you could have protected the child by reporting the parents?

To be honest, CPS is probably not going to just swoop in and remove the child from the home. What CPS will probably do will be to require the parents to take parenting classes and be watched for a year or so to make sure they don't continue to put this child at risk. If they follow CPS's recommendations, they will keep their child. And the child will be safe.

If they don't do what CPS says, they lose the child, and the child will be safe.

 

[Judy from Boise]

I think your plan is good , to evaluate the situation on their own turf, then make the hard call.With your SIL's vision problem they should be childproofing their house with gates etc to be ready for the day he walks.

 

[MoniqueU]

Absolutely. Anyone of those incidents are examples of neglect. In its totality? That family should not have responsibility for that child. That is how they behave when someone is looking. Can you imagine what life is like for that baby when the door is closed?

This is what I was thinking.
Also just because the woman can't see well is no escuse for her trust me, I have severe eyesight problems, the first thing you do is find a shoe that fits the baby and put bells on them so you can know where they are at all times. My kids were older when my vision problems got worse thank goodness but were I to have a baby now, knowing I can't see I would by hypervigilant.

 

[My2Cinderellas]

am I remembering correctly that you are in the medical field? or studying to be? If so - this is a mandatory reporting situation and YOUR license could be on the line if you don't report it. In particular leaving the child alone.

The playing with tires is bizarre and without knowing your DB and SIL sounds like overindulgent parenting. What if his next "love" is knives? Are they going to let him play with those too? Responsible parents set limits for the safety of their children. Practicing attachment parenting, organic food, cloth diapering yada yada yada does not mean throwing common sense and safety out the window too. The child has probably never heard the word "no" from either parent and it's high time he did.

 

[Disney Doll]

These people could have a child and I could not.

 

[chattyann]

I honestly think that if your parents go and witness one thing that is off at your DB and SIL that they should be reported immediately. I understand that they are family and you all love them and your nephew but it would be totally unloving to not get the situation corrected as quickly as possible, for the baby and for your DB and SIL. How old are your DB and SIL? Since this is their first child it may be a case of just not knowing what to do. Still if that is the case, then they need classes and help as soon as possible. If you or your parents don't do anything and something happens to your little nephew, then I am sure that you all would never forgive yourselves for not doing something when you had the chance. I truly hope that this was just a case of them being young and thinking that everyone would want to help them while they were on vacation, but they should have mentioned that to you all instead of letting the baby go not knowing if anybody was watching or not. I hope your parents find everything is fine and that your DB and SIL took what you all said and thought about it and made corrections in the way they are handling your nephew.

 

[scottishduffy]

am I remembering correctly that you are in the medical field? or studying to be? If so - this is a mandatory reporting situation and YOUR license could be on the line if you don't report it. In particular leaving the child alone.

The playing with tires is bizarre and without knowing your DB and SIL sounds like overindulgent parenting. What if his next "love" is knives? Are they going to let him play with those too? Responsible parents set limits for the safety of their children. Practicing attachment parenting, organic food, cloth diapering yada yada yada does not mean throwing common sense and safety out the window too. The child has probably never heard the word "no" from either parent and it's high time he did.

Yep, I am in the medical field. Kinda adds to my personal 'freaking out' factor. I have seen too many kids in the hospital as a result of stupidity.

The baby is obsessed with wheels/tires. Anytime that anything rolls he likes it. He likes playing with the wheels of his stroller, wheels on suitcases, any wheels at all. They just figure he is exploring his world and are impressed at his ability to identify all types of wheels and attempt to play with them.

For now, my parents will be up to see them on their own turf. To see how things are at home there. If necessary, we will make whatever calls necessary. For now we just really hope this was two parents looking for a break on vacation who were just clueless.

 

[WDWAurora]

These people could have a child and I could not.

My thoughts exactly. Had the same thought about the lady who let her toddler sit down on the escalator at the mall so she could continue her cell phone conversation.