A Missing Kid Story

[mamabear0222]

I haven't read the past pg 1 of responses but for those of you who say having a missing child doesn't ruin an entire trip....has NEVER had a missing child.

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[tinkerone]

They never said they deserved it, they said it would be best. Is it over the top? I'm not sure, the first thing they asked for ( the captain or cruise director to stop by and reassure them ) did not happen. Is a bottle of wine and park tickets fair? It looks like there is a difference of opinion on this.

Was what they endured worse than what the people sailing Into the tail end of sandy experienced? My guess is that they hoped for something, it didn't happen and now they are dropping it, with no intention to sue.

The way some people characterize the father you would think he's some sort of serial scammer who is faking falls on ships with the intention to sue.

what am I missing? he did get to talk with the cruise director. he never asked for them to come talk with them at dinner, it was just something he thought they might do.
maybe I miss read something?? I could have.

 

[believinthemagic]

I could not agree with this more.

While I sympathize with this father, his son was found unharmed. Is it acceptable that they couldn't find him for 45 minutes? No. However, saying your whole vacation was ruined and feeling entitled to a refund is beyond ridiculous.

Could not agree with this post more! I sympathized with the father completely up until they go to the room and later decide they want to ask for a refund.

I've been the parent going back & forth from room to room thinking my kid isn't there. It's very hard to find them with all of the areas they could be. And if they fell asleep then it makes it that much harder.

I feel that of they were truly worried about their childs safety then the response that Disney is going to take this situation and look into improving things, then that would have been enough.

 

[MrsScooby]

Our first cruise was 3 day on the Dream there were 1500 kids on the cruise. The clubs were packed. My daughter (6 at the time) went a few times. The first time she went for a specific activity and had a good time.

The next time we left her was in the evening when I went to get her I found her propped up on a chair dozing. Other kids had been given mats and it seemed to me, her mom, that she was being a little neglected . I didn't get why one of the CM's didn't lead her to mat to lie down.

The third and last time was on Castaway Cay. We dropped her off and the kids were at lunch she was told to go sit and wait for everyone to be finished. She looked so sad I felt like I had left her in prison. We came back about 15 minutes later to get her and they were still sitting at the lunch area. She saw us and came running. One of the CM's yelled at her in a really harsh tone to sit back down, she is very sensitive and broke into tears. The CM quickly apologized, I think she knew that she had been a bit harsh. It took forever to get her out, but there was no way they were going to let her out without going through the security measures.

We were not at all impressed with the kids clubs I did feel that they are presented as more supervision than they really are, and I definitely don't think that Disney can do no wrong.

On our second cruise on the Fantasy we had a much better experience. My daughter was refusing to go to the clubs before we got on the ship. She made a friend and was much happier at the clubs with her friend. I think there were a number of reason why it went better the second time. Less kids, a longer cruise, and our expectations were more realistic with regards to the club.

I do think the clubs are a safe place for kids. I might keep a younger child out of the club if I had a concern, but if your kids go to school and play in a school yard at lunch they are prepared for the clubs. Based on our experience I have a hard time seeing how a child could leave the club unnoticed.

Based on the fact this incident was on a 4 day cruise, I would think the experience in the clubs for this Dad would have been more like our first cruise. I bit chaotic in the clubs and difficult to track the location of ever single child. I really don't understand why he felt like the gangplank was the first place look but different people with different perspectives.

If he had just stopped and and took a deep breathe he could have saved himself and his wife some heartache.

I think the guy just panicked with his mad dash to the gangplank and since I've been guilty of that myself I can really feel for him there.
Someone managed to keep their head and eventually found his son safe and sound in the club thankfully. I would be kicking myself for not looking more thoroughly in the club if this had happened to me...

I have always wondered why DCL keeps the kids clubs so dark and I'm hoping they change that after this incident. They said they would according to the dad's blog and I hope they do that.

 

[KappaSigHero]

(...)the first thing they asked for ( the captain or cruise director to stop by and reassure them ) did not happen.(...)

To be fair, he didn't ask for the captain or CD to stop by. From the blog:

"I mentioned that we had a dinner reservation for her birthday, and I thought to myself that maybe the Cruise Director or the Captain might come by to wish her a happy birthday and apologize to her in person."

 

[manhattanman]

we keep skirting around and around this issue. no, its not to much to expect lip service about how it won't happen again. he got that from the cd. some reassurance? yup, got that to. apology, yup he even said he got that.
the only thing he didn't get is the captain saying happy birthday to his wife. how is that even relevant? he didn't say 'I thought the captain would come by and say sorry', he said 'I thought the captain would come by and say happy birthday and apologize'.
if I made an error at work, a really really bad error, my v.p. isn't going to come to you and say sorry, its going to be my manager. the v.p. is busy running the show as the captain should be.
yes, if a server spilled something on me in the mdr I suspect, as well, they would try and make it up somehow but it wouldn't involve the captain.

and just as an after note, while I was in one of the mdr's having lunch a tray of plates was dropped behind me and pieces of them flew and hit me. I wasn't badly hurt. the waiter came over to check but that was the end of it. they didn't send me a bottle of wine nor did they need to. it was an accident totally out of their control. before you flame me i'm not comparing a lost child to a tray of broken plates. i'm responding to the waiter statement.
I just don't get what you would expect could have been done differently. please feel free to tell me cause i'm stumped.

He was upset, and recognized that it affected his wife more. He didn't expect the captain to run down to sing happy birthday, he asked that the captain or cruise director come down and reassure them that

1) they regret what happened
2) they are going to get to the bottom of it
3) they will do everything to ensure it won't happen again.

How is this an unreasonable request ? They misplaced the man's child. Had they done what he asked, which is not onerous, all of this could have been avoided.

As to the waiter, if losing children is totally beyond their control and the expectation is that parents should disregard the visceral fear that no one knows where their kid is because losing kids is statistically rare, that's an expectation not likely to be realized.

I don't know what they could have done after the fact, but they certainly could have handled this better without giving the guy a single dime.

 

[mamabear0222]

Not that this is the case of a "missing child" but we "misplaced" our then three-year old child about one hour into our time on a three-day Disney Wonder. We were walking to get something to eat with all five of us in tow. As we were coming back to our chair, apparently our little girl turned left when we turned right. It was about five minutes we couldn't find her, but we did not panic. Of course, we were looking around the mickey pool, where we had been the whole time. But apparently, she got separated from us and walked toward the goofy pool.

After those five minutes, we see her walking hand and hand with another mom-like person, who walks up to us and says, "she told me, 'My name is XXXX. My mom's name is (first and last name). Will you please help me find her?'" We were very proud of her for the way she, at three years old, handled the situation.

My kid did not panic. We did not panic. And everything turned out fine. Were this us, I know my child, because we've taught him or her so, would be very aware of how to find us should we get apart. Of course, now my kids are almost 10, 7 and 5, so I've got a lot more trust, but still, this guy could have avoided the panicking if he knew that his kid would maintain a level head if lost. I know my then three-year old wouldn't have done anything to lose us.

I'm not sure how you can say this guy could've avoided panic if he knew that his child knew what to do. The kid is 3. Not 13. Regardless of how diligent we teach our children ...I would NOT be confident ANY 3 yr old would do what your child did. Were you very lucky? 100 %. Because what if your child decided to go swimming or do something else instead of looking for you? Kids are kids...plain and simple

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[Ginger Renae]

He was upset, and recognized that it affected his wife more. He didn't expect the captain to run down to sing happy birthday, he asked that the captain or cruise director come down and reassure them that

1) they regret what happened
2) they are going to get to the bottom of it
3) they will do everything to ensure it won't happen again.

How is this an unreasonable request ? They misplaced the man's child. Had they done what he asked, which is not onerous, all of this could have been avoided.

As to the waiter, if losing children is totally beyond their control and the expectation is that parents should disregard the visceral fear that no one knows where their kid is because losing kids is statistically rare, that's an expectation not likely to be realized.

I don't know what they could have done after the fact, but they certainly could have handled this better without giving the guy a single dime.

He was given those assurances verbally when he met with the cruise director. The child wasn't misplaced. He was exactly where he was supposed to be - in the OC. If the dad hasn't panicked and started running around up and down the stairs, to the gangplank, etc., he may have found him sooner. No one would be able to spot the child faster than a parent so he should have been looking instead of running around telling everyone else to look for his son.

 

[dunnhorn]

Actually, a similar thing happened to us....

We went to pick up our children and they couldn't find our daughter. It seemed to take quite a long time, and then they finally said I could go in and look. Heart started pumping... I went through the child area over and over and finally found my child asleep in the corner. It was a "phew!" moment.

But - she was about 7 at the time... not 3....

In a subsequent cruise, I noticed that they started texting families to come get their child whenever the child fell asleep. I remember being in the club one night, it was probably around 9:45 and I received a text that our daughter was ready for pickup (we were planning to get her around 10.) So, I was thinking that she went and asked for us to go pick her up. We got there and she was sound asleep on a bean bag chair in front of a big TV. I thought it was actually nice that they scanned her arm and called us to come get her.

At any rate - I'm thankful that this man's story had a "happy ending" and I hope that Disney takes the opportunity to refine its safety procedures to ensure that no child slips out of the care facility undetected.

 

[manhattanman]

what am I missing? he did get to talk with the cruise director. he never asked for them to come talk with them at dinner, it was just something he thought they might do.
maybe I miss read something?? I could have.

I think he asked this for his wife who he recognized it affected more. I mean trying to do something to console his wife, yeah your right what a monster.

Because not doing a simple thing for people complaining about the previous lack of empathy ( which Disney apparently acknowledged) is really going to engender good will.

 

[justmestace]

The way some people characterize the father you would think he's some sort of serial scammer who is faking falls on ships with the intention to sue.

I so agree. I don't get the big to-do. He blogged, he didn't sue. So why are people's panties in a bunch?
Ohhh, yeah, because someone complained about DISNEY!

And for what it's worth, even if you REALLY DID fall (because of a careless CM) and break numerous body parts, you STILL can't sue. Because they'll lie to you and placate you while you're still onboard, just like they did to the blogger, promise you someone from shoreside will be nice and helpful and then blow you off.. like they did to this man. Unless you're at least half as rich as Disney, you can't even think of suing.
And the blogger/Dad never said that he wanted to.

 

[tinkerone]

He was upset, and recognized that it affected his wife more. He didn't expect the captain to run down to sing happy birthday, he asked that the captain or cruise director come down and reassure them that
1) they regret what happened
2) they are going to get to the bottom of it
3) they will do everything to ensure it won't happen again.

How is this an unreasonable request ? They misplaced the man's child. Had they done what he asked, which is not onerous, all of this could have been avoided.

As to the waiter, if losing children is totally beyond their control and the expectation is that parents should disregard the visceral fear that no one knows where their kid is because losing kids is statistically rare, that's an expectation not likely to be realized.

I don't know what they could have done after the fact, but they certainly could have handled this better without giving the guy a single dime.

no, he didn't! his quote (not mine) -- I mentioned that we had a dinner reservation for her birthday, and I thought to myself that maybe the Cruise Director or the Captain might come by to wish her a happy birthday and apologize to her in person.
as to reassurance, again from him, not me --
I was given the following answers and assurances:
They were aware the lighting was too low in the care facility and they plan to renovate it the next time the ship dry docks.
They do have a process for handling lost child emergencies, however since that hadn’t been apparent to us, they would look into that and address it.
I was given an apology for the lack of empathy shown to my wife by the crew during the crisis.
They would definitely investigate why the tracking band was unreadable.

you need to go back and read his blog. I think there have been so many facts put out on this thread that some are getting mixed up.

 

[justmestace]

Never works to try to type on the tiny phone.

 

[LWQuestie]

I thought you were done with this thread.

Regardless.....my last thoughts on the whole thing before I move along.

Changed my mind about post. Backing away. This thing's probably closing soon.

I just needed to step away before I got myself into "trouble" in general.
And I had work to do. Stupid work.

I so agree. I don't get the big to-do. He blogged, he didn't sue. So why are people's panties in a bunch?
Ohhh, yeah, because someone complained about DISNEY!

 

[justmestace]

I'm still dying to know if he put the children back in the nursery/club the next night.

Nancy

Maybe we could post the question on his blog?
Really.

 

[manhattanman]

no, he didn't! his quote (not mine) -- I mentioned that we had a dinner reservation for her birthday, and I thought to myself that maybe the Cruise Director or the Captain might come by to wish her a happy birthday and apologize to her in person.

you need to go back and read his blog. I think there have been so many facts put out on this thread that some are getting mixed up.

That sentence has " might" AND " mabey" in it and you can interpret it as a demand? My read of it was that he saw it affected his wife more and was looking to do something to put his wife at ease. What a horrible guy. He should have told her to stop being so clingy and suck it up.

And I'm just going to ignore the part where this was in response to a question from Disney as to how they could make things right.

 

[KappaSigHero]

That sentence has " might" AND " mabey" in it and you can interpret it as a demand? My read of it was that he saw it affected his wife more and was looking to do something to put his wife at ease. What a horrible guy. He should have told her to stop being so clingy and suck it up.

And I'm just going to ignore the part where this was in response to a question from Disney as to how they could make things right.

I think you're missing the point. Tinkerone isn't saying he made a demand. The quote is saying that he didn't voice the request, as his words said he "thought to myself" that the captain or CD would stop by.

 

[MrsScooby]

I think he asked this for his wife who he recognized it affected more. I mean trying to do something to console his wife, yeah your right what a monster.

Because not doing a simple thing for people complaining about the previous lack of empathy ( which Disney apparently acknowledged) is really going to engender good will.

No I seriously doubt the CMs had a lack of empathy for his wife. I took it that DCL just promised that they would look into that just to placate him.
Getting one CM that is not sympathetic, I can see that, maybe, but to complain that all the CMs were ignoring his wife and turning their back on her...I think he was exaggerating that because that doesn't make sense. trying to claim the CMs are all monsters is like trying to claim they are all angels...

I don't think he was a monster, just that he was panicked and can't bear to look at his own actions as being partly responsible for the drama.

Like others have said, I really felt bad for him until he started recounting how the apologies, wine, tickets and assurances of looking into improving the system were not enough and he wanted a refund and was upset that the captain didn't come to visit them in Palo...
The title of his blog post was over the top too...can't blame panic for that.

 

[tinkerone]

That sentence has " might" AND " mabey" in it and you can interpret it as a demand? My read of it was that he saw it affected his wife more and was looking to do something to put his wife at ease. What a horrible guy. He should have told her to stop being so clingy and suck it up.

And I'm just going to ignore the part where this was in response to a question from Disney as to how they could make things right.

I mentioned that we had a dinner reservation for her birthday, and I thought to myself that maybe the Cruise Director or the Captain might come by to wish her a happy birthday and apologize to her in person.

I don't see 'might' and 'maybe' in this sentence and unless Disney can now read minds i'd say the words 'I thought' say it all.
again, his words, not mine. ignore all you want but its what HE says.

 

[CrawfordMomof2]

I think that, as always, the truth is somewhere in between. Reading between the lines, it sounds like there was about a 45-minute window between when they couldn't find the child and when the child was found. During that time, the parents ran all over the ship trying to find the child while not getting an adequate sense of urgency from the cruise staff. There's a whole lot we don't know about this situation.

It's possible the DCL staff was distracted or didn't think it was that big of a deal. Alternately, the DCL staff could have been trained in responding in a calm manner that wouldn't escalate the level of distress. We don't know. A lot of the reports are based on the father's perception of the situation at the time, which, as others have mentioned, may actually have been counterproductive in terms of locating the child. DCL staff are all over the place, and, as mentioned, this sort of information would likely have been relayed in code, and not in public.

The two questions really are, was the child actually in any real threat of danger (as opposed to perceived danger), and was DCL actually dealing with it or did they treat it as parental overreaction? I don't know. I wasn't there, and I don't know DCL's policies on that. The malfunctioning wristband is a problem, obviously. But I also don't honestly see them letting a child that young off the boat unaccompanied and without a KTTW, and I have to think that the youth counselors assigned to the area would have noticed a child that young trying to leave without a parent. But, again, I wasn't there.

Very well put! I agree.