A little miffed with daycare/preschool

[pigget74]

Yesterday when I came home from swim with oldest DD my youngest DS was at the table coloring or so I thought. I went over and saw that he was tracing his name. No biggie--but then DH chimes in and says that his teachers say that he is a little behind the rest of the class as far as knowing his letters in his name and how to write it. Hello--he just turned 3. I was upset with DH for even having him sit down and trace his name repeatedly. DS did not seem to mind at first, but then he looked at me and said I have to practice to be like my friends. This afternoon when I went to get him the assistant told me what she told DH that she noticed he was a little behind. I just looked at her and said he will get it when it is time.

Noe he knows his numbers in English and Spanish and his colors some in Spanish. He is a very bright and verbal kid.

IS it just me that thinks a just turned 3 is to young to be pressuring this?

We are very involved---we read and discuss everything.

 

[Minnie_me]

YIKES! That is way out of line (and I'm a Kindergarten/pre-K teacher).

Is this a Montessori school? My friend's son was "kicked out" of a Montessori school at age 3.5 when he wasn't yet reading. They told her that he was very likely "********" and was bringing down the rest of their students with his dumbness.

He then came to my pre-K class (in a public school), and knew all of his letters and sounds within 2 months -- and I wasn't even teaching them directly!

I'd chat with the "teacher" (is it really a teacher? or a daycare worker?) and tell her that name writing and letter recognition at this age are not developmentally appropriate, and that you would much rather that your child worked on his social and readiness skills: taking turns, using manners, listening to stories, singing songs, etc.

 

[pigget74]

This is a daycare/preschool. All workers are certified except for assistants, but some of them are. I love this place and so do my kids. I guess I will talk with the lead teacher. I teach middle school and I thought this was a little over the top.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

I think it is way over the top. My youngest is 3.5, and I am just starting to work with him on writing his name. He doesn't show much interest so I am not pushing it. I know my DD wrote her name right around 3, but girls usually develop fine motor skills faster. Although they do fine motor development, my preschool doesn't really start writing letters until the 4's class.

As a former second grade teacher, I like to tell parents that if they are teaching their child to write, make sure you do the strokes correctly (top to bottom). It was almost impossible to undue incorrect formations in second grade! Off my soapbox now....

 

[SLK1]

The elementary schools teach so much more so much earlier than they did several years ago. The pre-K schools might be feeling pressure to get their kids ready for kindergarten, because they do expect a lot out of the kids these days. A three-year-old writing his name is a bit much, but letter recognition, colors, numbers, shapes are all fair game I would think.

 

[mom2princessj]

My dd's 3-4 class worked on writing their names all year. Every kid but 2 of them could do it by the end of the year. They never pushed or said anyone was behind or dumb or whatever because the two children couldn't/didn't want to do it. This year they are into writing even more (pre-k) and still there are some new kids along with the two 'old' kids from last year that don't do it as well or can't do it yet. No big deal. All you can do is encourage it you can't 'force' them to be interested or do it. They'll get it eventually.
My ds is getting ready for his first class in preschool tomorrow and that program doesn't have the kids write their names until pre-k. My ds needs all the social skills at this point so I'm glad they aren't as focused on worksheets and writing...they do projects and worksheets its just not as in depth as my dd's preschool. I feel like every kid learns at a different pace in a different way. It's unfair for someone to say your child is 'behind' when that's not really a realistic expectation of a 3 yo

 

[brockash]

Yeah, I think that's pretty nuts. I mean some kids don't even go to preschool (so what are they learning in kindergarten?) My DS went to preschool for 2 years, and they would work on a few sounds here and there and by the second year he could spell his name, but not all kids could. He really started learning letters and all the sounds in kindergarten. I wouldn't worry about your DS, he seems really young to me, to be expected to know the letters in his name ect.

 

[squirrel]

I think at just 3 that your son should definately not be trying to write his name.

I went to a workshop and the lady doing the class has done lots of studies and has found that children should only be learning to write at the age of 7. At the age of seven a lot of things start to come together.

I know (daycare/preschool teachers) we all were shocked. But she did make a point of saying "Practice makes permenent". So if your child is not taught how to correctly hold the pencil and how to write the letters, then it is almost impossible to retrain the child to do it correctly. She also mentioned that children that have names starting with the letter K (I think the other letter was an A) will have more trouble as it has the diagonal lines. At age seven (sometimes earlier) most children will be able to understand the diagonal lines in the letter K and A.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

That's ridiculous! A three year old shouldn't be pressured to write or trace his name. Even if he is "behind the other kids" it shouldn't matter. Perhaps the other kids are ahead of the game. It doesn't mean your son is behind just because he's working at a normal level!

I once talked to an occupational therapist about this topic. My son has an autism spectrum disorder so he did most things later. The OT did not want him even trying to write his name when he was 4. She said most kids (autism or not) aren't developmentally ready to start writing until they're at least 4 and even 5. If they start younger, they'll learn to hold the pencil and form the letters the wrong way and it will be very hard to correct later.

Don't let a daycare/preschool teacher steer you wrong. At three, kids can start tracing lines and simple shapes. They should be encouraged to do a lot of coloring. That will develop the hand strength they will need later when they do start writing.

 

[pigget74]

They d a lot of other things like coloring, story time, circle time ... that I really like. I am not concerned by anyway that he does not know how to write his name or even know all the letters in his name yet. We do have the letters to his name on cardstock laminated to a ring. When he wants to go over them great, but I only do when he brings it to me. WHen he does he is excited.

I was just really miffed that the assistant who he loves said this not only to DH but also to me. Like I said---I could care less and I almost told her that. I have one in 8th and one in 5th grade been there done that and I will again with the younger two.

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Schmeck]

But this is the BEST time to start the learning process - the younger you start them, the better the brain gets 'wired' for learning. If you wait until kindergarten to start letter sounds, that's almost too late for them to learn, and it will be harder for them as well.

My DDs learned letters and numbers by age 2, printing them by age 3, and reading and writing words by age 4. It's not like I sat them down and did 'lessons', I just incorporated it into our daily activities. We used to ask them a lot of questions during the 50 minute drive to Grammy's house. We'd sing the alphabet song, say "c is for..." and my daughters would fill in a word that started with c, etc.

I wouldn't make the OP's son sit and do homework every night, but I would spend a little time each day working on knowing how to spell his name.

Funny story - my favorite treat is chocolate, so I made sure my DD4 knew how to spell it so that when she went with Daddy to buy me a present she'd head right to that word! In kindergarten, she would write down all the words she liked to spell, and chocolate was always on that list! The kindergarten teacher took me aside one day to ask why...

 

[eeyorethegreat]

I teach preschool/prek our three year olds are not expected to know their letters or be able to write their name. If they can it is awesome but developmentally most can't In our 4 year old class we have many student who still can't write their name and we are working on that so that by the time they go to Kindergarten the will be able to do this with capital and lower case. We will also be working on letter recongnition but not specifically sounds though it will be mentioned.

Someone asked if the teachers at daycare/preschool are really teachers. I agree I would look into it I know there are several daycares that also say they are preschoools. Basically they just took a few classed to get their daycare certified but they aren't teachers in the sense that they actually graduated with a degree in teaching most haven't finished college. That being said the school I teach at truth be told I am the only "teacher" the director is an OT who hasn't practiced OT since before her kids were born 30 years ago and the other teacher never graduated college. I am the only truly certified teacher. Our curriculum is pretty good considering but there are many times that I disagree with philosophies and the way the curriculum is presented at times simply because I do have that education in education.

 

[Miss LD]

That seems a little much to me.
DS is 4.5 and in jk.
He has been in daycare and then pre-school before jk. He worked on his letters and knew a lot of the letter sounds. I know they did all of that in preschool, but he had no interest whatsoever.
In the summer I kept meeting parents of 4 year olds entering jk whose kids could write their own name, knew all the letters, etc.
I asked a friend of mine who is a kindergarten teacher. She told me not to worry, let the teacher do her job.
DS has been in school for about 6 weeks now. He is recognizing letters, sounding out words and is working on writing his name.
At 3 he wasn't ready.

 

[mjkacmom]

I agree that a 3 year old shouldn't be forced to learn to write his name. However, I had the opposite problem with my twins' preschool. At 3, they could spell/write their names, knew colors, letters, shapes, numbers up to 20. Therefore, I felt confident sending them to a local preschool with the "learn through play" philosophy, very "romper room." I've also had experience with 2 other preschools, that were more academic, but I figured that since they knew what they needed to know for kindy already, let them have fun!

Ds5 wrote all of his letters beautifully - while holding the pencil in his fist, like a monkey. I brought it up to his teacher, expressing my concern that it would become a habit, and she agreed, but wouldn't do anything about it. I even told her not to let him use markers if he didn't hold them right (not a single pencil in this classroom), but she wouldn't follow through. It took me SO long to break this habit!

My point is, if they express an interest in writing letters, by all means let them, and show them how to do it PROPERLY. If they have no interest, let them do something else. At that age, I think it is very important to follow the child's lead.

 

[agnes!]

But this is the BEST time to start the learning process - the younger you start them, the better the brain gets 'wired' for learning. If you wait until kindergarten to start letter sounds, that's almost too late for them to learn, and it will be harder for them as well.

My DDs learned letters and numbers by age 2, printing them by age 3, and reading and writing words by age 4. It's not like I sat them down and did 'lessons', I just incorporated it into our daily activities. We used to ask them a lot of questions during the 50 minute drive to Grammy's house. We'd sing the alphabet song, say "c is for..." and my daughters would fill in a word that started with c, etc.

I wouldn't make the OP's son sit and do homework every night, but I would spend a little time each day working on knowing how to spell his name....

There's a fuzzy line between gently starting life-long learning or shoving it down kids' throats. Starting earlier and earlier academics with younger and younger kids isn't necessarily *better*. The OP's child is THREE. He's 36 months old - I think the socialization & behavioral skills are much more important at this age. These kids can still be biters and hitters - some are still in diapers or Pull-Ups & now they might have to be able to write/spell their name?

Sometimes the kids who seem to be prodigies at an early age fade into the woodwork when everyone else catches up. - just because little Susie can read and little Johnnie can add/subtract before K isn't a predicator of their SAT scores.

I'd be ticked that the teacher/leader/aide/whatever said *anything* in front of my kid. He used to think he was fine, but now he'll think there's something wrong with him....and there's plenty of time for that later in his school career.

agnes!

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

I'm a former early childhood development teacher-turned-elementary teacher. I think forcing him to practice is definitely over the line (or making him feel like he's behind if he isn't getting it). It's not bad to set the foundation for these things at his age, but I agree that a lot of pre-schools/pre-k classes are trying to do too much too soon. The ECD school I worked for was very, very, very stringent about keeping activities developmental age-appropriate. Check with your director to make sure he/she knows this is being taught.

 

[nessz79]

There's a fuzzy line between gently starting life-long learning or shoving it down kids' throats. Starting earlier and earlier academics with younger and younger kids isn't necessarily *better*. The OP's child is THREE. He's 36 months old - I think the socialization & behavioral skills are much more important at this age. These kids can still be biters and hitters - some are still in diapers or Pull-Ups & now they might have to be able to write/spell their name?

Sometimes the kids who seem to be prodigies at an early age fade into the woodwork when everyone else catches up. - just because little Susie can read and little Johnnie can add/subtract before K isn't a predicator of their SAT scores.

I'd be ticked that the teacher/leader/aide/whatever said *anything* in front of my kid. He used to think he was fine, but now he'll think there's something wrong with him....and there's plenty of time for that later in his school career.

agnes!

Amen to that!!

There are children that do things early, but their peers often catch up to them at a certain point.

I totally disagree that if they haven't started learning letter sounds by K, it's almost too late. When I was in Kindergarten, that's when we started learning letter sounds, etc. I am an English teacher today for high school and I also did very well academically when I was in school.

I am all for preschool kids learning what they can learn in preschool, but it MUST be balanced with whole child wellness, including free play. Also, children at this age should not be pointed out as behind their peers, especially at the age of 3.

I think the teachers should have brought up their concern with the OP first. The OP could then have worked leisurely with their 3 year old on it at home where there wouldn't be too much pressure.

It really is a shame what some schools are doing to our young children. I love my son's elementary school, but we have schools in our district that don't even do recess for Kindergarteners. Tell me that's not ridiculous! What happened to childhood?

 

[IntercomGroupPage]

YIKES! That is way out of line (and I'm a Kindergarten/pre-K teacher).

Is this a Montessori school? My friend's son was "kicked out" of a Montessori school at age 3.5 when he wasn't yet reading. They told her that he was very likely "********" and was bringing down the rest of their students with his dumbness.

Do they know that the Montessori program was originally designed as a special needs program?

 

[mjkacmom]

Do they know that the Montessori program was originally designed as a special needs program?

I assume it wasn't even close to a real montessori program, where students are encouraged to go at their own pace, regardless of age.

 

[LisaNJ25]

I think the school is out of line. I have 3yo and 4yo in pre-school. My 4yo is learning her letters and her name. With an 8 letter name it will probably take the whole year lol. So far she has the first letter down. My 3yo has no clue yet.