A little Christmas vent!

[anniemck]

tree is still sitting in its box in the spare room, ornaments/lights are in the box underneath it and the village is in the box next to it. And truthfully for all I care it can stay there. We have no one coming up, and we are not going anywhere. We are not exchanging gifts as we just can't afford it this year.
I have been jobless for almost 2 years and finally start training for a seasonal job on January 5. I will have the job until April 30, with one week for sure off in February as my daughter is getting married.

There are worse things that could happen rather than fighting over gifts/decorations/lights for 1 day.

Be happy you have family to spend your time with, and loved ones who care.

So many are without their loved ones this year either due to death, war or distance... is it really worth arguing over the fact that he didn't buy you something... you know you want something, get it while you are out, problem solved.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Does anyone's husband give them a detailed list for xmas? It is like pulling teeth.

 

[cvjw]

My DH works, and I stay home. I do all of the Christmas shopping, decorating, cooking, wrapping, etc. I consider this "my job", and feel lucky to be able to stay home and have the time to do it.

 

[sissy_ib]

Does anyone's husband give them a detailed list for xmas? It is like pulling teeth.

My husband has had a wish list on Amazon for a long as I have known him. Makes those times I don't have a clue so much easier.

We don't have many people to buy so it is not to hard on us. Picking out gifts for his parents this year was was a pain in part because he didn't want to talk about it then shot down a ton of my ideas. I finally came up with what we went with but I don't love the decanter he picked out for DFil. Oh, well.
I do all the wrapping but it is by choice and I don't mind. I like doing it and he is terrible at it. He did help some with the baking I did this week when I needed it.
I'm another one who doesn't work though. Even though I go to school I have so much more time for this stuff than DH.

 

[luvmy3]

My DH works, and I stay home. I do all of the Christmas shopping, decorating, cooking, wrapping, etc. I consider this "my job", and feel lucky to be able to stay home and have the time to do it.

I bet if you worked outside the house, you'd still be the one doing it

 

[mrssmith06]

I bet if you worked outside the house, you'd still be the one doing it

Yep!! Your right about that I'm sure!
I've been SAHM and worked full time - I now work part time. It never changes how much I do as far as the holiday work load!!

 

[Southernmiss]

I have to say that DH does help. He and our 3 boys put the lights on the house and brought in the decos. They put the tree up and MIL, DD and I decorated it.

DH took 2 days off for us to go shopping, but I still had another couple of days worth to do--I will go get the last things tomorrow.

He always says I can get things done with a list and he usually does.

I will plan our Christmas Eve menu (with some input) and shop for the groceries.

Tonight I hope we'll get the rest of the wrapping done. I did half of it already.

But I certainly do feel like we women are the ones to keep the holidays going and do at least 95% of the work.

It has all taken time to get to this point. I think he got the point a few years ago when his mom was visiting and we all came home tired, but I needed to jump into making a meal for us to eat. I asked him for help, he replied he was tired and I let him have it!! After that, he's been much more helpful!

 

[BeachLove]

My Boyfriend is a pain in the rear. I put up lights, the tree, the decorating, buy his family gifts, my gifts, hang the garland, put up all the outdoor things. Oh and I wrap everything. He wants nothing to do with things. I asked him to put up the lights on the second level of the house. Ha, He asked me to do it and he'd hold the ladder. Nevermind, I'll just do it or it'll take twice the time with the nagging.

 

[Mamakop]

I'm a stay at home mom to two and he is a manager at a car dealership in a big city (so long hours) and he still helps. We are a team and love to decorate together as a family and we go shopping for the girls together.

 

[mjmartin01]

Danielle,

You are not alone. Mine does nothingexcept put the Christmas lights up outside! I buy all the gifts, wrap all the gifts, put the Christmas tree up. I even buy my own gifts from him. One year he got me sheets that were on clearance and I said "that's it, I will be buying my own gifts from him from now on!"

 

[danielle79]

Thanks everyone! I don't feel so frustrated anymore, and I did not realize there was Christmas rant thread somewhere else, I will look for it! By the way I am not a stay at home wife/mother. We both work outside of the home and are $ contributers to the home. My oldest daughter helped me a lot this year with decorating the tree and the outside lights and decorations! I shopped for myself and will probably wrap them, at least I will like them! He also complained alot when I told him that I didn't think I was going to have time to do cookies, I made time and he ate them!!!!!! I will also get grief about $ spent on gifts for the kids! I really don't care! I will single handedly make Christmas great for our family! Heres to all the other woman that do the same!

 

[magiclj]

My husband brings the tree down from the attic. I plan on putting it up and decorating it when he is gone. I put on my Christmas tunes and enjoy the memories from the ornaments - ones the kids made at school, one we made together or picked up at craft shows - his loss. What was always most annoying was when he would sit and watch football as I was working on the tree.

He will usually take the lights down outside when I put them up. He does shop for me and buys a gift for each of the kids.

I suggest a great book for all to read - On Strike for Christmas by Sheila Roberts. The wives go on strike and Christmas is up to the husbands to pull off this year. It's a good laugh.

 

[Lizzybean]

You know our first few years of marriage our biggest fights would be around the holidays. I always did everything and when I asked him to help he would but begrudgingly. So I went on strike. The next year I didn't buy any gifts for his family, didn't get the decorations out, didn't buy him gifts. He got the message loud and clear. Ever since we've been a great team.

We found the best dynamic is me as "director." I tell him what needs to be done and he does it--lists and dates help. For example we always do the decorating the weekend before thanksgiving. He knows this so there is little room to whine. Tonight I sent him out with the teacher gifts since he was going to be out anyway. I'll cook Xmas eve and Xmas bfast but he knows he'll be cleaning up.

There has been some complaining this year, more than usual, but when I give him extra to wrap (I do all the kids' shopping) I'll let him know if he wasn't so naughty I would've done more.

In DH's defense he just doesn't get how tough it is until he has to do everything so I make him do it if needed. Now this approach would backfire if he just didn't care but he does. I think he just forgets and I'm more than happy to remind him.

 

[Mamakop]

You know our first few years of marriage our biggest fights would be around the holidays. I always did everything and when I asked him to help he would but begrudgingly. So I went on strike. The next year I didn't buy any gifts for his family, didn't get the decorations out, didn't buy him gifts. He got the message loud and clear. Ever since we've been a great team.

We found the best dynamic is me as "director." I tell him what needs to be done and he does it--lists and dates help. For example we always do the decorating the weekend before thanksgiving. He knows this so there is little room to whine. Tonight I sent him out with the teacher gifts since he was going to be out anyway. I'll cook Xmas eve and Xmas bfast but he knows he'll be cleaning up.

There has been some complaining this year, more than usual, but when I give him extra to wrap (I do all the kids' shopping) I'll let him know if he wasn't so naughty I would've done more.

In DH's defense he just doesn't get how tough it is until he has to do everything so I make him do it if needed. Now this approach would backfire if he just didn't care but he does. I think he just forgets and I'm more than happy to remind him.

this is similar to us as well

 

[theworldneedscolor]

I'm sorry ladies! That sounds so annoying

I'm grateful my dad does so much. We get the tree as a family, he puts it up and puts on the lights, then we decorate it as a family. He gets everything down from the attic, and does out door decorations. My mom and I decorate inside (although he installed some shelves for her plates this year), and we do the baking. They both buy presents, although she may buy a little more, and they both wrap equally. I am the only person who can manage to get cards sent out though...

 

[ssawka]

I have the same problem, but I'm the DH! I shouldn't say that DW does nothing, she does, but I do most of the Chritstmas shopping and all the wrapping for DD. To top it off, I have bought my own "big" Christmas gift in the entire time we've been married (15 years). This year, there's nothing that I really need or want, so I guess I won't be getting anything. Really, I don't mind buying my own "big" gift, but I wish she would put some thought and effort into filling my stocking. It usually looks like she went into any store and grabbed whatever she saw. I tell her year round things that I would like, and every year it's the same thing, "I don't know what to get you!" Yet, I always know exactly what to get her and put a lot of time and effort into picking it out. I really don't understand it, because she does so well on Father's Day. Maybe she just gets overwhelmed this time of year!

 

[dcfromva]

My DH loves Christmas so much! There are so many things DH does for the season that makes it so enjoyable to everyone.

It's too late for this year, but here's an idea for next year....
Anyway, over the years we have figured out a (Disney related) method for sending out Christmas cards that makes it a lot easier for us to accomplish. DH often has a conference in Orlando the week after Thanksgiving. We bring our Christmas cards, stamps and address cards along on the plane. We split the list in half. Our Christmas cards are done by the time we land (and we get a nice Orlando post mark on the cards. )

 

[Lizzybean]

I have the same problem, but I'm the DH! I shouldn't say that DW does nothing, she does, but I do most of the Chritstmas shopping and all the wrapping for DD. To top it off, I have bought my own "big" Christmas gift in the entire time we've been married (15 years). This year, there's nothing that I really need or want, so I guess I won't be getting anything. Really, I don't mind buying my own "big" gift, but I wish she would put some thought and effort into filling my stocking. It usually looks like she went into any store and grabbed whatever she saw. I tell her year round things that I would like, and every year it's the same thing, "I don't know what to get you!" Yet, I always know exactly what to get her and put a lot of time and effort into picking it out. I really don't understand it, because she does so well on Father's Day. Maybe she just gets overwhelmed this time of year!

DH tells me not to buy him anything. I usually do anyway but he says he really doesn't anything...Since you're the resident man in the thread I have to ask if this is normal?!

 

[LoriNSC]

I doit all too. All my DH does is bring the tree and boxes of decorations down from the attic after a lot of nagging. He fusses about money, I missed a spot cleaning, etc. He never buys me gifts (my bday is dec 13 and our anniversary is the 26.) Last month we had to get new tires for my SUV (which he drives often too) so that covers my gifts he says. I hate shopping for his parents-he says I never spend enough and usually also throws in $ that we don't have. Yet I have to watch spending on my family. He has promised the kids the past 2 yrs to hang lights on the house- nope ain't done it yet.
But that's how he is and he will always be.
I just ignore him and enjoy the season with my kids.

 

[Jenny3]

In the same boat here. I always joke that Christmas morning is as much for DH as it is for the kids; he is always so surprised and awed by what they get since I do all the shopping and wrapping!

He will do some things (only when I ask), but for the most part it's all on me. It's overwhelming and exhausting; I love Christmas but it's definitely not my favorite holiday.