Chapter 20: I’m Not Going Home. I’m Going To Wisconsin.
A few years ago, fellow DIS Dad Barry (
@FreezinRafiki ), his wife Bambi and family were planning an East Coast vacation. Since they are on the same 50-state quest we are, they wanted to cross Delaware off their list, and had come to the (erroneous) conclusion that visiting us was the most interesting thing they could do in Delaware. Personally, I think we pale in comparison to
Punkin Chunkin, but whatever.
Anyway, they were giving this trip to their kids as a Christmas present (in what world is a trip to Delaware a Christmas present? Their kids must have had a bad year) and they thought it would be cute for us to record a video announcing their itinerary. So, I had our kids record a video in which they told Barry and Bambi’s kids that they would be visiting “DELAWARE!!!! (and Philadelphia, and Baltimore, and Washington D.C.)…but MOSTLY DELAWARE!!!!”
Apparently, this was a hit in their house, and Mostly Delaware!!!! became a new catchphrase for their kids. So, when they arrived on their visit, we provided them t-shirts welcoming them to (Mostly) Delaware. I assume these promptly made their way to the pile of car wash rags when they got home.
So, when it came time for us to visit Wisconsin, our Midwest road trip naturally became the “Mostly Wisconsin” trip. And yes, t-shirts were provided.
We met up with Barry and Bambi at the hotel, where they eagerly returned Scotty and Dave to us. Then we rode in a 2-vehicle caravan north and west, just past the city of Milwaukee. Our first stop was a restaurant called
The Machine Shed.
This place was on our must-do list for Wisconsin for several years, ever since we’d watched a show on the Travel Channel called “Breakfast Paradise”. The Machine Shed is a small Midwest chain restaurant with a farming theme, featuring home-cooked meals and especially hearty breakfasts. If you tell your server “I love eggs”, they’ll automatically add an extra egg to your dish, free of charge. But the main purpose of our visit was to try out their cinnamon rolls. Normally, if someone offers me a cinnamon roll, I will always say yes. I mean, duh. But at the same time, I will not drive an hour out of my way just to eat a cinnamon roll.
However, if you tell me it’s a cinnamon roll the size of a satellite dish? I’m jumping in the car.
Yep. It was glorious. The rest of the food was really good, too. It didn’t hurt that they had Hidden Mickey pancakes.
Bring your appetite here. You won’t be leaving hungry, that’s for sure. In fact, just for those cinnamon rolls, I’m awarding the Machine Shed a Drooling Homer Award for Excellence in Unpretentious Dining.
From there, we drove a ways north to what very well may be the best, most fun tourist attraction in all of Wisconsin. Barry led us to his family’s farm somewhere near the city of Appleton.
This turned into a mid-day extravaganza of tractor-riding and 4-wheeling adventures. It was a good thing Drew had put in so much time on the simulator the day before.
Here’s a good view of the kids’ brand new t-shirts. I must grudgingly admit that these were cooler than the ones we provided for Barry’s kids.
I think this was the prize tractor, because Barry wouldn’t let Drew drive this one. The kids did like the rides, though.
Barry and Bambi have three kids: their daughter, Madison, and sons Evan and Ryder. They hit it off well with our kids whenever we’re together. For example, Dave and Evan wasted no time climbing up the hay bales in the barn to see who could get the most rat and bird crap all over their clothing.
And somehow they all thought this was a good idea.
The bigger kids did get to drive the 4-wheeler along the dirt roads by themselves (with an adult riding along). Everyone did fine and had a great time with it. However, you just know that this is an opportunity begging for Scotty to happen.
At some point, Scotty was driving with poor Bambi riding shotgun, along with a couple of the kids. Somehow, Scotty managed to drive off the road and into the one and only mud puddle on the entire property. And he got the 4-wheeler stuck.
I was going to go try and help push them out, but then Scotty gunned the engine and sent a 6-foot shower of mud spraying behind him. And I thought, “You know what? Let’s see if they can manage.” Bambi displayed the patience of a saint as she instructed Scotty on how to slowly rock back and forth, forward and reverse, until he could drive himself out of the hole. It only took about 3 hours or so, but they did get free.
Eventually, we left the farm and headed north to Green Bay. Julie and I stopped very briefly in Appleton to visit some friends from our old church in Delaware who had relocated to Wisconsin upon retirement. As you know, it’s common practice to retire and move to a state that has winter 8 months out of the year.
Anyway, we had a nice visit and I think they were thrilled we stopped by. We met up with Barry and Bambi at our hotel in Green Bay and then drove into town to grab dinner at the
Titletown Brewery. This was a neat little restaurant/microbrewery based in an old train station in the heart of Green Bay.
I enjoyed a burger and a draft root beer, while Sarah got one of these cool waffle sandwiches.
Overall, a pretty decent place to eat. And futilely attempt to get all 7 kids to smile for a photo at once.
It was still early in the evening and we were still looking for something to occupy our time. Barry and Bambi suggested
Bay Beach, a small amusement park on the shores of Green Bay run by the city. This turned out to be a stroke of genius. It was a beautiful summer night, the rides were cheap (think beach boardwalk-type amusements), and all of the kids ended up having a blast.
There’s a train ride that takes guests around the park and along the shore of Green Bay. Naturally, Drew loved this.
Here’s Green Bay, just to prove we were there.
I love this photo of Drew, in mid-conversation as sometimes it’s hard to get him to shut up. This one just screams, “Caption me!”
My entry: “…and accidents like those are why I choose Pampers, for the highest-quality absorption around.”
Later, Drew got his big sister to take him on the merry-go-round.
And his big brother had a brain cramp and let him fly a helicopter.
The big kids tried out the swings…
…followed by the whirligig.
Sure, they look happy now. But when it gets going, how many of them will hurl?
If you said “all of them,” consider yourself a winner! And clean up that mess.
Drew and Ryder mostly contented themselves with the kiddie rides. I present to you the Many Faces of Drew (and Ryder mostly putting up with him):
Madison didn’t want to drive her own bumper car, so she handed the keys to a teenager who doesn’t have a license yet. What could go wrong?
For their last ride of the evening, Scotty and Sarah hopped on the Ferris wheel. Thanks to the carny’s incredibly confusing loading/unloading system, they would do maybe one or two revolutions, then sit suspended in the air for about 20 minutes while somebody got on or off, then another revolution, then sit, and so on.
This photo was taken approximately at midnight, after they’d been sitting up there for four hours. Or maybe it just felt like it.
Anyway, Bay Beach proved to be a big hit. Great place to run around and have some fun.
With that, we retired to our hotel rooms. I think we were supposed to meet up at the pool, but we were scrambling to get Drew down in bed and somehow stood up Barry’s family most of the evening. Scotty was begging to swim, so I walked him down much later only to discover that they had been at the pool the whole time, wondering when we’d show up. Whoops. Sorry, guys. We totally screwed up the communication there.
Anyway, we had a fun day and once again wore ourselves out. I couldn’t help but wonder if the kids would still have Mostly Wisconsin on their minds as they dreamt that night.
Coming Up Next: A Fourth of July in the Frozen Tundra.
Send some up here!
That is very much on our bucket list. It's nice that they have such roomy accommodations for families that in the off-season look fairly affordable. Our son Benji would definitely enjoy the Shadow meet-n-greet & musical accompaniment (he's taking guitar). 
I'm gonna take this a as a sign that I can take the rest of the decade off from parenting responsibilities!
Mum's the word.
That thing's even bigger than the ones at Gaston's Tavern...
