VampHeartless
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2004
- Messages
- 940
You all will like this...
Once upon a time in a boarded up home far far away, a young Vamp lived in a tiny back pantry with half walls and holes in the floor.
And by the way, no, I'm not making this up.
He grew up in a poor family, and for a long while Vamp and his siblings lived off of ramen noodles, government cheese, and free lunches down at the park. Vamp was fine with this...he really liked Ramen Noodles!!
However, Vamp's stepmom, Connie, applied for a new job one day, and began working as a bakery manager at the local grocery store. This meant that Vamp and his friends could eat more! Thus his father Joe, and Connie, invested in several, SEVERAL boxes of Hamburger Helper that they bought from a discount clearance rack of damaged foods for only 5 cents a piece.
They still did not have enough to save up to complete the walls in Vamp's pantry bedroom.
And Vamp HATED hamburger helper.
Thus, whenever Vamp's parents fed him the discounted meat product, he would proceed to his bedroom, where the walls were made of unplastered sheetrock built halfway up. When the sheetrock ended there was soft pink insulation, and behind that there was the outside wooden siding.
Vamp would quietly push the insulation back from the sheetrock, and dispose of the offensive discount clearance mixture while no one was paying attention. He did this for about six months straight...with no one in the family any the wiser.
Until that fareful day...
Vamp came home to Joe standing next to the house with a large shovel and a very angry look on his face. He motioned for the young child to follow him behind the house.
There...behind the house....stood a five foot tall pile of hamburger helper. The rotting mixture of six month's worth of meat product had eaten through siding on the house, and spilled over to the driveway.
Vamp spent the rest of the day shovelling rotten hamburger to the dumpster in front of the house...
and hates the stuff to this very day...
Once upon a time in a boarded up home far far away, a young Vamp lived in a tiny back pantry with half walls and holes in the floor.
And by the way, no, I'm not making this up.
He grew up in a poor family, and for a long while Vamp and his siblings lived off of ramen noodles, government cheese, and free lunches down at the park. Vamp was fine with this...he really liked Ramen Noodles!!
However, Vamp's stepmom, Connie, applied for a new job one day, and began working as a bakery manager at the local grocery store. This meant that Vamp and his friends could eat more! Thus his father Joe, and Connie, invested in several, SEVERAL boxes of Hamburger Helper that they bought from a discount clearance rack of damaged foods for only 5 cents a piece.
They still did not have enough to save up to complete the walls in Vamp's pantry bedroom.
And Vamp HATED hamburger helper.
Thus, whenever Vamp's parents fed him the discounted meat product, he would proceed to his bedroom, where the walls were made of unplastered sheetrock built halfway up. When the sheetrock ended there was soft pink insulation, and behind that there was the outside wooden siding.
Vamp would quietly push the insulation back from the sheetrock, and dispose of the offensive discount clearance mixture while no one was paying attention. He did this for about six months straight...with no one in the family any the wiser.
Until that fareful day...
Vamp came home to Joe standing next to the house with a large shovel and a very angry look on his face. He motioned for the young child to follow him behind the house.
There...behind the house....stood a five foot tall pile of hamburger helper. The rotting mixture of six month's worth of meat product had eaten through siding on the house, and spilled over to the driveway.
Vamp spent the rest of the day shovelling rotten hamburger to the dumpster in front of the house...
and hates the stuff to this very day...
