WDWHound
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2000
- Messages
- 5,895
(With appologies to any of the lawyers on the DIS if these joke offend)
TAKING IT WITH YOU
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His planwhen he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to Heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife was up in the attic cleaning and found the two pillowcases stuffed with cash. "Oh, that old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."
ARMADILLO
Q: What's the difference between a dead armadillo in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the armadillo.
TOXIC WASTE
Q: Why does California have the most lawyers in the country while New Jersey has the most toxic waste sites?
A: New Jersey got first choice.
TAKING IT WITH YOU
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His planwhen he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to Heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife was up in the attic cleaning and found the two pillowcases stuffed with cash. "Oh, that old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."
ARMADILLO
Q: What's the difference between a dead armadillo in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the armadillo.
TOXIC WASTE
Q: Why does California have the most lawyers in the country while New Jersey has the most toxic waste sites?
A: New Jersey got first choice.
Thanks for the laughs -- I really needed them today!
