A 4 hour flight with a 20 month old or two 2 hour flights?

Direct...just get it over with! Bring lots to do, and hope for a nap! I would recommend a seat, too, if you have the funds. If not, you'll make it through.

I cringe at the thought of taking two flights, personally. Too many chances to get stuck on the runway and deal with other inconveniences! It's stressful enough to fly with kids...at least you only have to do everything once if you're flying direct!
 

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