9 year old getting "mouthy"

[mickeyfan1]

Oh yeah Sandy V, that is right on. It reminded me of another "no no" (IMo), "Wait till your Father or Mother gets home". That really makes the other parent an even worse bad guy. I know that fpr us, I would usually be the disciplinarian and what ever I did was OK with DH. If I ever had to explain to my son that I would be talking to his father about what ever, he knew that he had crossed a wide line.

Kids, thewy are all different but they are all the same. And we can only do the best we can.

 

[RUDisney]

My oldest has been very easy for a long time.Last friday he turned 10 and it is like his whole personality is changing.He hasn't had an attitude with me but toward his 9 yr old brother he has been horrible.And he even invited his girlfriend to church last night.
My dd6 is famous for her breakdowns.She is known as the drama queen.

GIRLFRIEND!?! My DS tried to pull the GF thing on us this year when he started 4th grade. He's 10, too. He and Kessla exchanged phone numbers and she kept telling him that she loved him and wanted to kiss him. That all happened around the time of "Meet the Teachers Night." I made sure I found Kessla's Mom to introduce myself to her. She didn't have a sitter, so Kessla was with her. I went up to her and bent down to her and told her that the only girl that would be kissing my son right now would be his mother. Her mother agreed and told me when she came home with our phone number she ripped it up and told her that she would not be calling boys any time soon. Luckily, we were on the same page.

 

[Disneynutbsv]

Thanks everyone! I don't feel so alone in this!!! We will be having a heart to heart talk as soon as we get home. And I think we just have to tell him, he either cuts it out or there will be a penalty (which would be his bike, sports, etc...). I know he doesn't want to lose those privledges!

 

[graygables]

My children already know that I'm the meanest mother in the world, I say it myself, so they can't use that one against me. One thing they do have to do is apologize. They have to say, "I'm sorry I was disrespectful to you". It seems to carry a lot of weight when they take ownership of what they did. It also helps that there is a Bible verse that says, "Honor your father and mother...so that you may live long and that it may go well with you." We use that one a lot, especially the living long part!

I also agree with the taking away privileges, but if my child ever said she hated me, she would be my shadow for a week. She would go everywhere I go (and sit outside the bathroom door) with nothing but her school work by her side. I will not tolerate that level of disrespect. Fortunately, we haven't come to that and I hope we never do, but I have a strategy in place, just in case. I think DDs also know that I do have strategies and understand that it will "go well with [them]" if they toe the line. Of my 4, I have yet to have one throw me off or upset me too much, I'm a Whatever kind of mom.

 

[RUDisney]

My children already know that I'm the meanest mother in the world, I say it myself, so they can't use that one against me.

Sorry, I have cornered the market on being the meanest Mom. When they tell me I'm mean, I tell them, "well, I must be doing my job, because that's the way it's supposed to be."

 

[Laurajean1014]

My son is 9.5 and he is getting wise. He loves to negotiate and I will not stand for it.

We punished him and he is living up to his obligations.

I think a firm hand in taking privileges away and using the reward systems, systems to work well in my family. I'm a "nip it in the bud" type of person.

He lost TV for 2 weeks for "getting wise."

And last night, he turns to me and says "Mom, you're the coolest."

Wow, I felt like a million bucks!

 

[pkasbohm]

my ds is 10 and he started to get mouthy with us. We told him that that was not appropriate behavior and that we will not tollerate it. He did it again and we started taking things away from him for a day. If he keeps it up we take things away for longer. He likes to pout and throw little fits about not getting his way and we just tell him that if he wants to be treated like a bigger kid than he has to act like it...if not we can take things away and treat him like he is treating us. We did treat him the same way he was treating us ( talking back, throwing little fits if he didn't do what we wanted him to) Now he knows his limits and very seldom passes them, he does every once in awhile but he has realized that it is better when mom and dad are happy!

my suggestions is to set limits on what they can and can not get away with, and stay firm on them. If it takes taking everything away from them for a week then maybe they will think twice before he tells you you are stupid!!!

 

[pkasbohm]

My son is 9.5 and he is getting wise. He loves to negotiate and I will not stand for it.

We punished him and he is living up to his obligations.

I think a firm hand in taking privileges away and using the reward systems, systems to work well in my family. I'm a "nip it in the bud" type of person.

He lost TV for 2 weeks for "getting wise."

And last night, he turns to me and says "Mom, you're the coolest."

Wow, I felt like a million bucks!

that is awsome!!! It is always good to her your kids appreciate you!!!

 

[Tantor]

My daughter(9) stormed off and slammed the door one day. I told her if she did it again I was going to take her bedroom door off the hinges. Hasn't done it since.
By the way I follow through on EVERY thing I say!!!
Good luck

 

[graygables]

My daughter(9) stormed off and slammed the door one day. I told her if she did it again I was going to take her bedroom door off the hinges. Hasn't done it since.
By the way I follow through on EVERY thing I say!!!
Good luck

Follow through is the most important thing. My best friend's dad was our school principal and he said, "Never make a threat you will not follow through". BTW, BTDT with now 17yo DD. After a week, she got her door back and never lost it again.

 

[Sleepy]

Ok, I have 9 year old boy/girl twins. My dd is in the stamping her foot, small tantrum stage. My ds is in the extremely mouthy stage. I can handle my dd but my ds is driving me crazy. I hear, "I hate you" or "you are stupid" or "leave me alone". And this is all over whether he can use the computer or heaven forbid...make him do his homework. Anyone else going through this? He makes me feel bad I send him to his room and try to tell him what is acceptable and what isn't and he just yells at me back. I really want to nip this in the bud before it gets much worse (from what my friends tell me their son is also talking the same way--same age kids).

While this behavior can be rather normal, it would not hurt to consider exactly why a child is acting this way. 9 years old is not too young to be hanging around the "bad" kids in class.

 

[Kimberly]

My parents used to make us sit with a bar of soap in our mouth, ala "A Christmas Story." I never mouthed off to them again.

 

[Disney Doll]

I have no idea what to tell you but I do know that if I had ever said "You're stupid" or "I hate you" to my mother, crying and feeling bad would not have been what she would have been doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[christineann]

I haven't had to deal with one of my kids saying that stuff, but my son did say "this s*cks!" one night when I shut the computer off (he had been told to turn it off and go to bed and didn't). I took some liquid dish detergent and put a couple of drops in his mouth and told him he would NEVER speak to me like that again. He hasn't.

I know a lot of parents (friends included who I dearly love) who let their kids run all over them and mouth off because as they say, "they won't listen to me". Children should not speak to their parents that way. Period.

BTW, my teenagers and I are extremely close!

 

[Tantor]

Follow through is the most important thing. My best friend's dad was our school principal and he said, "Never make a threat you will not follow through". BTW, BTDT with now 17yo DD. After a week, she got her door back and never lost it again.

Following through was the best advice I got when my daughter was born. And you are right nevr to make a threat you can't follow through on. It really does work.

 

[dizneenut]

I can definitely relate. My 9 yo has become very mouthy lately too.