Ughh......can I be anymore heartbroken??? Has anyone ever dealt with their child being rejected so much??
I know, it hurts like hell. As I alluded to in a post earlier in this thread we just went through this roller coaster ride about 10 days ago. Our son was one of the last players cut from his HS hockey team. That was bad enough, but he was a returning player. He basically sat the bench his entire Freshman year with the hopes that he'd start getting playing time this season. He was emotionally devastated when his coach cut him loose with no real encouragement about trying again next year. He was an emotional wreck for about 24 hours. To make matters even worse, last season he benefited from an unusually low turnout for try-outs and made the cut. During the season on occasion, some of the veterans told him that he "didn't really belong on the team". To him, when he was cut that validated his critics and made the rejection even more stinging in his eyes.
When something like this happens, you have two options:
1) Quit.
2) Keep trying.
One other veteran got cut from my son's now ex-team. He was a Junior goalie who thought he had a shot at the top spot in goal. He was so upset, that he's quit. He's announced that he's done with hockey, period.
Well, after our son spent about 24 hours licking his wounds, he started planning for a possible comeback for next season. This kid is now a "man possessed". One of the ironic things about what his old-coach said about his deficiencies was that the skills he lacks come from a lack of playing time. Some things you can't learn in a season of practices and can only be learned through experience on the battlefield against an opponent determined to stop you. Last year, he only touched the puck probably twice during a game in the regular season and only had about 5 shifts.
Well, at first he wanted to play on a local "house" (recreational) team in order to get a lot of playing time. I wasn't to sure about that approach. It was a "safe" option as they have to take all players that sign up. I wanted him to give a local Junior Varsity travel team a shot. They were having supplemental try-outs to replace kids that had just been selected for their local high schools. Our son wasn't too thrilled, but there was no cost, and in hockey you rarely want to pass up "free ice". He also wanted to "get back up on the horse", so to speak. So he gave it a shot and made the team. His new coach is a well respected coach who played college and semi-pro hockey.
He had his first game with his new team yesterday and he did great. He started the game, and got more playing time in that one game than he did all last season on the varsity team. He looked at home, looked comfortable, and made some good moves, checks, shots, and passes. He's very, very, happy with the outcome. He also now thinks that his old coach inadvertently did him a favor. Last season he was one of two Freshman that made the varsity team. This year the other one was kept even though he is on-par with our son. Our son now realizes that while his old bench partner will spend almost the entire season getting a shift or two per game on the 3rd line (as the coach normally runs his lines) this year, he will be getting tons of playing time in a very competitive high school league and developing his game skills with a great coach.
As for your daughter, she too is faced with the same two options I mentioned above. If she is a "fighter" and wants to continue, then your best bet is to try and work with her to figure out what it will take to move her from a "6/7" player to a higher number. Is there some private or group instruction that would help? A camp? Physical conditioning? More time for her to physically grow and develop? A lower tier team that would be eager to help develop her?
to your other DD. It makes it hard when one sibling makes it and the other doesn't, I so understand. Please encourage your DD to keep trying out. I know it's heartbreaking but each time she trys out she will know what to expect for the most part and gains experience by doing so. Is it possible to get feedback from the evaluators as to what she needs to work on? If she doesn't make the next team, perhaps she can do an intermural team at a rec center type place or YMCA? The more contact she has the the ball the better. She can use that opportunity to have fun and gain the skills she needs for club in the future. Sports mirrors life and it teaches kids to stick with it and keep trying until they can do it! 
Congratulations to her! 
