THINGS SAID ON
DCL TO STAFF
Does the ship generate its own electricity, ( or is there a cable from Port Canaveral)
Do the staff stay on the ship overnight ( or go home to their families)
What time is the Midnight buffet?
Quien es ese una toalla masculino imas vale que no illegues tarde ide lo contrario encantado de conocerle.
( To stateroom host, is that a towel animal on my bed or are you just pleased to see me?)
Where do I have to pay for the free soda?
How long should I stare at the orange juice it said concentrate on it.
Should I tip toe past the medical centre it said sleeping tablets on the door?
Do the stage tap dancers require any water?
Is it a train or a bus at the Muster Station.
So pleased this ship has a kids club now we can get a lift* anytime! *elevator
So there's this magician working on the cruise ship. He's been doing his routines every night for a year or two now. The audiences appreciate him, and they change over often enough that he doesn't have to worry too much about new tricks. However, there's this parrot who sits in the back row and watches him night after night, year after year. Finally, the parrot figures out howthe tricks work and starts giving it away for the audience. For example, when the magician makes a bouquet of flowers disappear, the parrot squawks "Behind his back! Behind his back!" Well, the magician get really annoyed at this,but he doesn't know what to d

ne day, the ship springs a leak and sinks. The magician manages to swim to a plank of wood floating by and grabs on. The parrot is sitting on the other end of the plank. They just stare at each other and drift. They drift for 3days and still don't speak. On the morning of the fourth day, the parrot looks over at the magician and says:
"OK, I give up. Where did you hide the ship?"
Maths Of Life:
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a man.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a woman
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Married men live longer than single men, but are a lot more willing to die.
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.