8/17/08 Captain Jack's Repossession Repo Cruise to PC thru TPC Part 11

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I can help with that! Not only tax free, but usually a better price.

I can too. I was just hoping someone else would volunteer first - and you fell for it!! :lmao:

Actually, DH spent considerable time at the AFB near LAX. He'd know where the Class 6 is, if they have one.


DH does not see a buffet as a meal, but as a challenge! DS8 is right there with him. We have a deal with DS - he is only supposed to tell us when he is NOT hungry. Hungry is the defalt with that kid.

Really? Tell you when he's not hungry? I'll have to try that. Good idea.


Did I every tell you about the "Rules for Getting What You Want"? Jakob was bugging me about something when he was about 5. Makin' me pull-over-and-strangle-the-kid crazy. In a flash of (desparate) brillance I asked him if he'd like to know the best way for getting what he wants. Being a bright kid he figured this was valuable information - "Sure!". And so the "Rules for Getting What You Want" were born:

1) Ask once. Ask nicely. And give mom time to think about it.
2) If the answer is "No" don't whine (I had to demonstrate whining to him) or cry about it or the answer is automatically "No" again the next time you ask.
3) If you bug me about what you want (I had to demonstrate bugging = asking repeatatively) the answer is always "No".

They work great!!

Then little brother came along. He inherited the Rules. He's slightly more clever than big brother...
I asked him to take something to the trash for me once. "No, I don't want to." Please, would you take this to the trash? The little monster looked me in the eye and quoted the Rules back to me. "Don't ask more than once or the answer is always 'No'." :rotfl2:

Being a quick mom I, on the spot, invented Rule #4. These rules only work for Parents.







EMOTE_CHAMPION.gif




Well...

... I have been sidelined a few days while my notebook gets resusitated... so I may NOT be entirely correct - but I would say ESTERI that you can take this months' cake for largest mulit-quote on our colossal thread here! Ya kno.... we've had so many hits and postings to just our thread that we've got an amazing number of visits and postings in a relatively short span of time! SO, being credited on ONE month of activity as biggest of the largest multiquoters does amount to having some notariety. AND, where is the TAG FAIRY when ya need one? Esteri needs a new tag declaring her new found status as queen of the multi-quoting champs!

I on the other hand would have stretched out your 31 multi-quotes into 60 postings... at least!

champion.gif

As of this moment our thread has had 460,951 viewings....

since January 13th... or roughly 70 days.


:woohoo: If I can't be famous for grabbing a Pirate, I'd rather be infamous as the Queen of the Multi-Quoting Champs!! :woohoo:

Oh, and Crash? With the number of pictures you'd find to insert in your answers - you truly would have needed 60 posts to respond. ;)




DD was involved in many sports and I found her schoolwork was very organized as a result.
She had her skating lessons before school and after she did her hw was able to hang out with her friends.Very disciplined. Besides, keeping them busy, keeps them out of trouble!!!


A-Ha! Perhaps that's the trick! DS9 has a terrible time getting all his school work done. We've limited his activities to just Boy Scouts (and the occassional Dog Show) because of it. It's not that he's not capable - he's just so SLOOOOOOOW. If we were to fill his schedule up - maybe that would motivate him to keep up. As it is, if the homework isn't done he doesn't go to Scouts. I've seen him pound out work in 30 minutes that would take him 2 hours on any other night.

Not "Axe," but along the same lines, did anyone catch this news a few months back?

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/09/21/onion.tag/

TOMS RIVER, New Jersey -- A weekend spillage of Tag Body Spray being described as the worst personal fragrance-related natural disaster in the history of the Eastern Seaboard continued to spread along New Jersey's Atlantic shore late Tuesday morning as disaster-management crews worked to contain the slick before it reached international waters.

I'm dying over here! :rotfl2: Thanks for sending this out.


But for the fact that it was younger DS first day of Kindergarten on Tuesday after Labor Day, we would have rode it out. MCO was predicting a Wed or Thurs reopening. We were in SSR, which were built to latest hurricane standards. The crowds the day before .... well put it this way, we went to Dis Studios at opening, did TOT (2x), RnRC, Great Movie Ride, some shopping, one other ride/thing I forget which, then took boat to Epcot, did Test Track, Mission Space, Spaceship Earth and one of the others right in that area and then stopped for a 12:30 lunch....

We were there for a reminants of Irene? in 1999. The place was empty - even though all Orlando got was rain. It was fun. But we sure did get wet.


If it hadn't been first day of Kindergarten I would have stayed. Funny story - I wasn't sure about what the storm was doing, so I was using crackberry to e-mail a meteorologist on our emergency management staff for advice. Her initial advice is to get out ASAP (comforting) when I explained that MCO was already closed (3 days before landfall) her response was "take lots of pictures." Later the same day she gets on the national hurricane call with the National Hurricane Center and while waiting for everyone to join, asks the folks at NHC "hey, I have this friend who's stuck at WDW, any ideas on getting him out?" The senior (some title or other) person from the NHC jumps in and says "try Tampa first, Jacksonville second, he should have no problem." Well, they were right. Of course, I'm not sure that was the official intended purpose of that conference call, but it worked for me! Until she moved on to bigger and better, anytime she needed anything, I was more than glad to help!


Sometimes it's about who you know. :rotfl:


Through a kink in your preplanning didn't it!:rotfl2: :rotfl2: They do grow like weeds. Whenever we have used the tuxes on board, I did it more so because that was one less heavy thing to pack around.:)

All the grown ups had their own tuxs. So, carrying around two little ones wasn't a problem. Otherwise I probably would have got them on board. Of course for this trip - it being 15 days. The on board rental will probably be less expensive.

Wonder if Mens Warehouse will dicker. Oh! We could get a group rate - like a really, really, huge wedding party!! My, that would be hysterical! Yes, we'd like to pick up 364 tuxs. Simultaneously. Better have your entire staff on hand for fittings. :laughing:



That would be a great Esteri to be able to get the pillowcases. :)

I'll look into it.

Has anyone been on a cruise lately and purchased liquor onboard? How were you able to get it back home if you flew? I really don't want it to go in my checked luggage.

Thanks

Based on the current rules, you have to ship it home or check it in. We purchased our limit last summer and checked it in. We had a special box for shipping wine. Drank all the wine we brought and shippped back all the booze to bought. No problems at all - though TSA did open the box to check them out.


Good Afternoon, everyone!!! :flower3:


We're REALLY moving along with the adoption process. We had a bit of a stanstill for a little while, because we've started looking more into possibly adopting a slightly older child (like age 2-4) instead of a newborn. We've discussed (extensively!) that while we would LOVE to have a baby :cloud9: , we just feel like our purpose right now is to give a home to a slightly older child. These are the children who are a little harder to place because everyone wants newborns. :sad1:
We will DEFINITELY look into adopting an infant later on, but for some reason right now we feel really compelled to adopt a slightly older, harder to place child. Our biggest stipulation though is that we DO still want to have a few good Christmases while he/she still believes in Santa!! :love:
I know that may sound a bit self-seving, but I REALLY cannot wait to give a child his/her very first HUGE, no-holds barred, super blow-out Christmas!! I cannot wait to see the look in their eyes when they walk out into a living room full of stuff!! :yay:

Anyhow, so that's where we are right now. Our worker is going to forward a listing to us this week of some of the children now available in our desired age range. Our child is probably out there right now just waiting for us! :hug: It feels pretty good to know that we could be giving a child a brand new chance at a good life!! :thumbsup2

OK, REALLY! I'm going to go ketchup now!! :rotfl:
-Christal

What awesome news. I missed it earlier. Is this an international or domestic adoption?

No worries about Santa. Though careful management, I managed to convince DS9 - who was on the fence last year - that Santa really does exist. Santa left a note for his little borther. Apparently it was quite convincing. Oh, and Santa ALWAYS uses different paper and ribbon thant everyone else. That mistake is how I figured it out when I was 7. ;)
 
I've been hanging out here avoiding mentioning this since yesterday afternoon and DH may kill me for posting this, but being the boss's wife can be a very helpless and lonely place and I need to weep somewhere.

Our Alaska CG family could use as many prayers as you can muster. I can't/shouldn't go into details, but the situation is very, very sad and DH had the awful task yesterday of being one of the men in dress uniform knocking on the door that every military wife dreads seeing in the bottom of her soul. It is just an awful, terrible, situation & a stark reminder of how dangerous the military can be, even for the men and women who aren't overseas.

If you're in Seattle, check your newspaper.


Moan. :guilty: I live in terror of that visit. :grouphug: :grouphug: To everyone. I am so sorry.
 
Good evening...
Hope everyone was able to make it through another Monday unscathed!

I think I have a problem-one of my firstgraders said to me "your a Disney fanatic!" and started laughing (as well as a few of the other kids!)....

Is it bad that my students know this?! :lmao:

Chrissie
 
Being a quick mom I, on the spot, invented Rule #4. These rules only work for Parents.

:lmao: :lmao: Isn't it amazing how they can "twist" what we say to mean what they want.:confused3

We were there for a reminants of Irene? in 1999. The place was empty - even though all Orlando got was rain. It was fun. But we sure did get wet.
We were there also. I think it was the first time WDW had ever closed of a hurricane. We were at OKW at the time. :) This was when we still received passes as members. I mailed copies of all of our room cards to guest relations and they mailed me 12 1 day park hoppers for them. I just used the last 2 last year. I was really surprised to get them:banana: :banana:


No worries about Santa. Though careful management, I managed to convince DS9 - who was on the fence last year - that Santa really does exist. Santa left a note for his little borther. Apparently it was quite convincing. Oh, and 1Santa ALWAYS uses different paper and ribbon thant everyone else. That mistake is how I figured it out when I was 7. ;)

You know, I have never wrapped Santa presents. My Mom did, but I never did.
 

Good evening...
Hope everyone was able to make it through another Monday unscathed!

I think I have a problem-one of my firstgraders said to me "your a Disney fanatic!" and started laughing (as well as a few of the other kids!)....

Is it bad that my students know this?! :lmao:

Chrissie

No, it isn't bad. Or al least I hope not. My Dnephew5 is always telling me I am crazy when it comes to Mickey. He knows anytime he gets something from me it will be mouse related.:lmao: :lmao:
 
You know, I have never wrapped Santa presents. My Mom did, but I never did.


Santa never wrapped presents when I was growing up. I really liked seeing all my toys sitting in a big pile so I decided to stick with the tradition. ;) It sure makes things a lot easier on Christmas Eve! :banana:
 
Diane, I didn't even think of the time it saves:)
I am so obessive/compulsive about wrapping presents, I hand tie every bow that goes on them. They really are pretty. In fact I hate to see them opened and all the ribbons and bows discarded. (I just can't help it!):)
 
OK, where is everyone else at tonight?:goodvibes
Come out, come ou wherever you are
 
Is it really 7:50?? Yikes. . .wanted to say howdy, but need to get my shower and get the DSs showered . . .yikes . .where does the day go . . .

Anyone else like doing kayaking excursions? Tell me about your favorite? I'd like to give it a try . .:cool1:
 
Usually it is slow on Sundays. You know , sunday paper, and if I'm lucky, I can drag out the dvd player and sorta watch something the last few hours. I'm still trying to catch up on my Stargate eps.

Hey Arlene, that's how I spent my Sunday, 'cept without the newspaper. Used to watch Stargate all the time, then missed out on too many episodes to know what was going on. I'm slowling catching up - my family buys me the series for Christmas. Beginning Season 7 right now.



The blender is important otherwise you'll be carrying most of that 400 lbs. of boo:) ze back home with ya.

Umm.... MR.... blender or no blender, I volunteer to help relieve you of the heavy burden you carry.
 
Most of the time I'll send it out to be pressed on the cruise. It's half of the cost of cleaning and gives me extra pool time. I really try to pack stuff that doesn't need it, but some of that linen:confused3 just doesn't pack well.

This is what I plan on doing while we're on the TOAL. I can't tell you how much time I spent pressing clothes before our last trip and when we got there everything was a wrinkled mess. And once were on the TOAL, I don'tplan on spending any time that I don't have to on things like ironing. I'll give up a spa treatment in order to have my ironing done!

Paula did I ever mention that I'm a QVC/HSN Queen??? Well I am. I own a Joy Mangano clothes steamer. It is still pristine in it's box. But if I'm ever really desperate I will steam instead of iron

Mostly I stand right by the dryer and wait for the BING and Voila! Wrinkle-Free clothes

I don't think the decals for our TOAL T-S*** are "steam-on" though :rotfl2: :rotfl2:

Have you met my husband, the King of QVC?:lmao:

Does anyone else have a discrepency with the time on the Dis postings?

Don't know if it is just me?


Chrissie

Mine is off by about 23 minutes now - seems to loose time every week.:confused3

DD aka my ST

Attended her 2nd student show at the farm she rides at.

She rode in two divisions in the intermediate level.

First was walk trot cantor..... She came in 3rd place out of 10 kids. (She would have been 2nd but one of the advanced riders was put into the lower division for some reason.)

Second division was jumping. .... She came in 5th there...

We're so proud... I remember a couple yrs ago when she first started riding and would jump off if the horse even hit a trot....

Congrats to DD!

My DD's are in their 1st show in a few weeks. They are so excited. 7 yo DD, Miranda was devastated when her horse died unexpectantly last week. Now she has to start over w/ another horse.
My DH, Bill and I were both raised on ranches so we were riding before we were walking. I am so glad DD's like it as well.
Congrats to your DD!

So sorry about DD's horse.:grouphug:

Well were back .....Had such a great time at DL , and of course meeting with Stacy and her Family just made it that much better ...Have pictures but to exhausted to post at the moment ...and by the way ...We are now DVC members ...:banana: :banana:

Too many pages to ketchup , so if I missed anything please let me know ...


Happy Birthday to any of those I may have Missed , Welcome Mates to any Newbies that I missed ....Yes , the shirts are still Black and White , I dont think anyone has gotten a room number yet and I have NO clue about the website
pirate:

Welcome Back Captain - we missed you!

I've been hanging out here avoiding mentioning this since yesterday afternoon and DH may kill me for posting this, but being the boss's wife can be a very helpless and lonely place and I need to weep somewhere.

Our Alaska CG family could use as many prayers as you can muster. I can't/shouldn't go into details, but the situation is very, very sad and DH had the awful task yesterday of being one of the men in dress uniform knocking on the door that every military wife dreads seeing in the bottom of her soul. It is just an awful, terrible, situation & a stark reminder of how dangerous the military can be, even for the men and women who aren't overseas.

If you're in Seattle, check your newspaper.

How absolutely awful for the family and your DH.:grouphug:

We're home too....just too tired to post last night! I was so frustrated at not being able to logon while we were gone. I guess the Boards suffered a few technical difficulties? Seems at lot of attractions at DLand did, too.

What a great time! We had the most fun with Todd and Melissa and the boys!! Super family. Just makes me wish for the cruise to come even sooner now.

Welcome Home Stacey! We missed you, too!

We're REALLY moving along with the adoption process. We had a bit of a stanstill for a little while, because we've started looking more into possibly adopting a slightly older child (like age 2-4) instead of a newborn. We've discussed (extensively!) that while we would LOVE to have a baby :cloud9: , we just feel like our purpose right now is to give a home to a slightly older child. These are the children who are a little harder to place because everyone wants newborns. :sad1:
We will DEFINITELY look into adopting an infant later on, but for some reason right now we feel really compelled to adopt a slightly older, harder to place child. Our biggest stipulation though is that we DO still want to have a few good Christmases while he/she still believes in Santa!! :love:
I know that may sound a bit self-seving, but I REALLY cannot wait to give a child his/her very first HUGE, no-holds barred, super blow-out Christmas!! I cannot wait to see the look in their eyes when they walk out into a living room full of stuff!! :yay:

Anyhow, so that's where we are right now. Our worker is going to forward a listing to us this week of some of the children now available in our desired age range. Our child is probably out there right now just waiting for us! :hug: It feels pretty good to know that we could be giving a child a brand new chance at a good life!! :thumbsup2

How wonderful! What special people you and Jen are...you are going to be awesome parents!

Hi guys! Thought I'd better check in. Had my first day back at work,after Spring Break last week. The kids are still rotten. I think the bread man said we have 59 days left, I think we've got more because of snow days this winter. Doesn't much matter, cuz I'll be working the summer program again this year. That means I'll get about 3 weeks off for the summer, we go back in Aug.

Well, like I said, I picked up the new :moped: on Fri.night, ran around on it Sat. none on Sun. I've put over 60 miles on it. We had rain today,looks like it most of the week :mad: Maybe I'll be able to get on it by Fri. We have a Meet on April Fools Day for lunch, about a 70 mile ride :woohoo: Can hardly wait.

Congrats on the new wheels! Hope the weather improves so you can get more ride time.

Santa never wrapped presents when I was growing up. I really liked seeing all my toys sitting in a big pile so I decided to stick with the tradition. ;) It sure makes things a lot easier on Christmas Eve! :banana:

Diane, I didn't even think of the time it saves:)
I am so obessive/compulsive about wrapping presents, I hand tie every bow that goes on them. They really are pretty. In fact I hate to see them opened and all the ribbons and bows discarded. (I just can't help it!):)

My mom did a cross between these - we had some unwrapped and some wrapped presents - and I've carried on that tradition. DH's family always opened on Christmas Eve and had stockings on Dec. 8 (Feast of St. Nicholas) as his mom's family is German. We did Christmas Day, which is what we do now, along with stockings on Christmas.

Esteri - glad to hear Kaiya is coming along.
 
No, it isn't bad. Or al least I hope not. My Dnephew5 is always telling me I am crazy when it comes to Mickey. He knows anytime he gets something from me it will be mouse related.:lmao: :lmao:

Isn't eeverything mouse related?:rotfl2:
 
Evening All!! Just put Ds's to bed. And I finally have some free time !!!!!!!

Been so busy....tried catching up and posting last week I was home 2 days, but everytime I got on the boards went down. Very frustrating.

1 Party down 2 to go!!!!
Just had my SIL baby shower (for the twins) Sunday. Went great.......I dont think she is going to need to buy anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I have DS 8th Bday party in the works and his Communion. Cant wait for al this to be over!!!!!!

Since I'm not reading through all those pages I've missed I hope this covers everything.

Happy Birthday to all those that I have missed
Congrats on all the pirate: pirate:
Get well Soon to everyone who had been ill
DS Ryan had 103 all weekend :sick:
But seems to have broken it, now just has a nasty cough.

Did I miss anything?
 
Hello Everyone and Happy Monday ugh!!!

I am so totally knocked out by all the cleaning and packing this weekend that I know I will be turning in early tonight. And guess what? The STs undid alot of the house already :sad2: Oh, that's right the maid will get it (me)!


Just came back from the Dermatologist, DH finally got his stitches out.........FLA (with lots of sunblock)....HERE WE COME!!

I am going to ketchup....brb!
 
Good Evening Everyone............It got to 80 degree's here today.........I'm ready for Summer.............got to take the Harley for a cruise...........


Mark
 
Just received this from a good friend who sends me such great email. I thought in honor of how yucky we all feel on Mondays, here's something to lift our spirits:

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's
workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is
with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next
county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.


AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments
that take our breath away.
 
Well were back .....Had such a great time at DL , and of course meeting with Stacy and her Family just made it that much better ...Have pictures but to exhausted to post at the moment ...and by the way ...We are now DVC members ...:banana: :banana:

Too many pages to ketchup , so if I missed anything please let me know ...


Happy Birthday to any of those I may have Missed , Welcome Mates to any Newbies that I missed ....Yes , the shirts are still Black and White , I dont think anyone has gotten a room number yet and I have NO clue about the website ..:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:


pirate:

Glad you and your family had fun with Stace and her family!! Congrats on the DVC and..........

WELCOME HOME
 
This is what I plan on doing while we're on the TOAL. I can't tell you how much time I spent pressing clothes before our last trip and when we got there everything was a wrinkled mess. And once were on the TOAL, I don'tplan on spending any time that I don't have to on things like ironing. I'll give up a spa treatment in order to have my ironing done!



Have you met my husband, the King of QVC?:lmao: :


Lorri I like your DH already :thumbsup2 How's the headache Pal?


Isn't eeverything mouse related?:rotfl2:

Hi Jack, how's the eye?


Evening All!! Just put Ds's to bed. And I finally have some free time !!!!!!!

Been so busy....tried catching up and posting last week I was home 2 days, but everytime I got on the boards went down. Very frustrating.

1 Party down 2 to go!!!!
Just had my SIL baby shower (for the twins) Sunday. Went great.......I dont think she is going to need to buy anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I have DS 8th Bday party in the works and his Communion. Cant wait for al this to be over!!!!!!

Since I'm not reading through all those pages I've missed I hope this covers everything.

Happy Birthday to all those that I have missed
Congrats on all the pirate: pirate:
Get well Soon to everyone who had been ill
DS Ryan had 103 all weekend :sick:
But seems to have broken it, now just has a nasty cough.

Did I miss anything?

Hey Maureen!! Sorry about your DS hope he's better soon! You haven't missed anything Pal, same ole, same ole


Good Evening Everyone............It got to 80 degree's here today.........I'm ready for Summer.............got to take the Harley for a cruise...........


Mark

Howdy Mark! So is it a date Pal??? How do your DD make out today???

Umm.... MR.... blender or no blender, I volunteer to help relieve you of the heavy burden you carry.

Jen somehow I knew I could count of you, LOTW!! ;) :thumbsup2 :thumbsup2

Is it really 7:50?? Yikes. . .wanted to say howdy, but need to get my shower and get the DSs showered . . .yikes . .where does the day go . . .

Anyone else like doing kayaking excursions? Tell me about your favorite? I'd like to give it a try . .:cool1:

Hi Theresa! I have never done kayaking but would love to hear the responses too! How have you been??

OK, where is everyone else at tonight?:goodvibes
Come out, come ou wherever you are

Hey Paula here I am, here I am!!! Were you off today??? Lucky Dog ;)

Santa never wrapped presents when I was growing up. I really liked seeing all my toys sitting in a big pile so I decided to stick with the tradition. ;) It sure makes things a lot easier on Christmas Eve! :banana:

Diane my friend, I am sorry you aren't feel well. If this wasn't cyberspace, I'd say we were passing the illness around. Take care!:hug:

Good evening...
Hope everyone was able to make it through another Monday unscathed!

I think I have a problem-one of my firstgraders said to me "your a Disney fanatic!" and started laughing (as well as a few of the other kids!)....

Is it bad that my students know this?! :lmao:

Chrissie

Chrissie I think it's great your kids know this. How great that their first grade teacher loves all things Disney!

Moan. :guilty: I live in terror of that visit. :grouphug: :grouphug: To everyone. I am so sorry.

Esteri great news about your doggie!!! Also, that was one awesome multi-quote posting :thumbsup2
 
Good Evening Everyone............It got to 80 degree's here today.........I'm ready for Summer.............got to take the Harley for a cruise...........


Mark

Thanks for sending that weather toward Virginia tomorrow, Mark . . .wish I had a Harley to ride (DH is too safety conscious to ever ride a motorcycle, but my 76 yo step dad still rides his . .. LOL)

It was over 70 and sunny today. I actually took my laptop outside on the back porch to work :) Can't wait to build our new house next year. I'm finally going to have a screened in porch to enjoy this kind of weather --and still work . . .

Oops . . time for 24 to start . ..:happytv:
 
Not "Axe," but along the same lines, did anyone catch this news a few months back?

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/09/21/onion.tag/

TOMS RIVER, New Jersey -- A weekend spillage of Tag Body Spray being described as the worst personal fragrance-related natural disaster in the history of the Eastern Seaboard continued to spread along New Jersey's Atlantic shore late Tuesday morning as disaster-management crews worked to contain the slick before it reached international waters.

The slick emits a nauseating aroma affecting the entire Jersey Shore.

Coast Guard officials said that the massive Tag slick -- an estimated 20 million gallons, or the equivalent of 45 million Body Shots -- has further contaminated the New Jersey coastline with a pungent combination of the Midnight and After Hours scents.

"We were not prepared for this," said Toms River, NJ firefighter Tony Carliano, choking back tears. "I've been dealing with noxious chemical fumes for 35 years, but I've never smelled anything on this scale before."

An Environmental Protection Agency spokesman said that Tag levels were already becoming dangerously high in recent years due to the thousands of migratory bros and dudes who flock to the area's beaches during the summer months. Worsening the crisis was the additional arrival of a yet-undetermined number of vacationing convention-goers, Maxim subscribers, and middle-aged divorcees trying to pass for twentysomething party girls. Thirteen-year-old boys attempting to imitate their older brothers have also not been ruled out as a source.

It is not yet known what caused the rupture in the hull of The Manly Torso, a fragrance supertanker which had been scheduled to make a delivery to the regional Tag receiving facility in Ocean City this week, which sank, apparently killing everyone on board, late Saturday.

Many beachgoers, as well as seabirds and marine mammals, have been covered in a thick glaze of Tag. Progress on containing the spill has been hampered by the fact that rescue workers, even those wearing HAZMAT suits and respirators, can only work hour-long stints due to the overpowering, ultra-concentrated odor. Chemical decontamination showers on the scene have repeatedly run out of water.

Cleanup crews work around the sinking tanker; Spike TV plans to air an original movie depicting the workers' efforts later this fall.

"It's the equivalent of a military-grade nerve agent, so mucous membranes are highly vulnerable," Federal Emergency Management Agency Director R. David Paulison said. "Without proper and immediate decontamination, it can cause severe rashes, sloughing of skin, and can even strip the lining of your throat if unprotected."

Also undermining the relief efforts, rescuers on the scene said, is the unwillingness of many beachgoers to cooperate with the cleanup.

"It's an uphill battle," volunteer Frank Hagen said. "We spend five hours scrubbing the toxins from the hair and skin of a victim, and then the next day, they douse themselves in it all over again and head back to the beach."

Some environmental experts said that the biological ramifications of the spill may not be fully known for decades. A disaster of this magnitude could have a profound and adverse effect on the breeding patterns of Mid-Atlantic populations for generations, according to Princeton University biologist Leslie Platz.

"There are billions of insects who release sex pheromones to attract mates and their ability to receive these messages could be overwhelmed by the Tag odor," Platz said. "And human females may become too repulsed to ever consider mating with another male."

Even if the spill is successfully contained and cleaned, Platz added, the lingering odor "could still make our grandchildren feel awkward and uncomfortable 50 years from now."

While Paulison expressed hope that progress will be made with the arrival of chemical skimming boats later this week, the spill is already being likened by many to the worst health-and-beauty-aids disaster in American history, the 2001 explosion of a Mitchum deodorant plant in Chicago's South Side, which covered the city in a toxic Mitchum Man cloud for three months.

Editor's note: This may look like a real news story, but it's NOT. It is from the The Onion, a humor publication that calls itself "America's finest news source." CNN may beg to differ, but we do enjoy a good laugh, and hope you will enjoy a weekly selection of their satire

Tom that was really funny.......and yep, with the cloud of cologne around my DS, I think he's destined for bro or dude-hood. I have to tell him all the time: Less is more...............
 
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