30 things you'll never hear a Southern Boy say:

[Fizban257]

30. Oh I just couldn't - she's only sixteen.
29. I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex.
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
25. You can't feed that to the dog.
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
23. Wrestling's fake.
22. We're vegetarians.
21. Do you think my gut is too big?
20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a damn about who won the Civil War?
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
14. Trim the fat off that steak.
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
12. The tires on that truck are too big.
11. I've got it all on the C: drive.
10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
09. My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's
08. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
07. Checkmate.
06. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
05. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
04. I don't have a favorite college team.
03. You All.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

And the #1 thing you'll never hear a Southern Boy say:

1. Nope, no more Jack Daniels for me. I'm driving.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

And here's one thing you won't hear a southern boy say MORE than once(also known as the last thing a redneck says before he dies) "HEY Y'ALL, WATCH THIS!!!"

 

[Mom2Madi]

#31

Another thing you won't hear a Southern Boy say (to those North of the Mason Dixon)...

"Ya'll come down and see us sometime!"

 

[Pugdog007]

Are you trying to imply that people from the South are ignorant?

I find this thread offensive.

 

[alabamaalan]

I hear ya dawg...Unfortunately I could only find two or three of those that I may ever say...the rest are perfectly acceptable as never to be uttered.

 

[Fizban257]

Originally posted by Pugdog007
Are you trying to imply that people from the South are ignorant?

I find this thread offensive.

I'm from Virginia, and my paternal relaitves are from the Carolina's -- sorry if you're offended, it was meant to be light-hearted. My cousin from Hickory, NC sent this to me in an e-mail and I thought it'd be fun to share.

 

[missyc]

Originally posted by Fizban257
I'm from Virginia, and my paternal relaitves are from the Carolina's -- sorry if you're offended, it was meant to be light-hearted. My cousing from Hickory, NC sent this to me in an e-mail and I thought it'd be fun to share.

I don't think you need to explain anything...........wasn't the "offended person" the one joking?! LOL
I can't imagine anyone, southern or not, taking these sort of things serious enough to be offended, can you? Man, ESPECIALLY from ALABAMA!!! My SIL is from Alabama and some of the best jokes were told BY her!



............................. Pugdog007, if you WERE serious I apologize. I probably just ticked you off even more, huh?!

 

[shatzjsl]

Funny!!!

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

I was born and raised in the south (1/2 in Ga & 1/2 in Fl) and some of those things are dead on. I am not offended because I know for a fact the the War of Northern Agression happened just yesterday to my grandparents and after teasing his little sister about soap operas being fake, my cousin refuses to believe that wrestling is not real. Since we got stationed in the North I am learning a whole nother language. Why do people up here call in a sweeper when it says vacumn on the thing??

 

[Bob Slydell]

 

[airhead]

LOVE it!! I'd love to hear the same done for the North!!! Hey,yous guys!!

 

[dawgfan]

It's not wrestling it's raslin and it ain't fake. Those are athletes. Come to think of it I will drink a Heineken if it's free and you were dumb enough to pay that much for beer. I've got five dogs and could always use another. Who does'nt keep a firearm in the house? What the heck are you gonna do when the suspended hostilities between the North and South are rekindled? I guess that those that beat their firearms into plowshares will be plowing for those who don't. The tires on my truck are so big they nearly scrub the wheel well and I think I need more. Yes it's a 4X4. If you have a case of Zima for the super bowl then you probably are thinking of moving to Massachusetts right. I was raised on Hee Haw. My daddy loved it. We watched every episode. "Gloom, despair and agony on meeeeeee". Some of you know what I mean by that and don't deny it! I am from the land where coldbeer is one word and Po lice is two words and you don't want to see one with the other around.

 

[ElizK]

dawgfan, you are too funny!

 

[kild]

Come on now, we all know duct tape will fix anything.

 

[Beauty]

LOL!

I'm from the South and have never in my life watched Hee-Haw!!

I also won't let my son in the back of a truck. Now come on though, go to Wal-Mart and not find anything, you've got to be kidding!

Oh and I am the one with the "'small"' obsession with Kurt Angle who is definatly a REAL athlete!

 

[welovedisneyx4]

Those were great!!! I really miss HeeHaw, wish it would come out on reruns!

O.K.....I have really got to do some work and type PTA minutes for a meeting tonight!!!! Time is running out!!! HELP!!!

 

[two4ruff]

I can honestly say if you couldn't find a thing a Wal-Mart, you weren't doing it right!!

Yep, my southern roots are showing. I love a good Wal-Mart...

 

[Shugardrawers]

Deep dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all
Doom, despair and agony on meeeeeeee

 

[4greatboys]

Originally posted by Pugdog007
Are you trying to imply that people from the South are ignorant?

I find this thread offensive.

Well I am a southerner and I think hilarious

 

[Sleepy]

I grew up in SC and I find humor in this thread.

You will also never hear a person from the south say.........

*All those cars in the yard are in working condition*