3 questions for you all

[laurajetter]

I'm lumping these questions into one post...

1. When you receive a birth announcement in the mail, do you feel that you are expected to send a gift? I don't, and I have never sent a gift after receiving the many birth announcements I've gotten. I will be sending out birth announcements very soon, but I don't want anyone to send me something in return; I just want them to have a photo with birth information of our new little addition! Do I need to include a note that somehow implies that gifts are not required or would that be tacky in itself?

2. Since we are still waiting for the birth announcements to get printed, I emailed a few other pictures of Jacob to family and friends so they could see him. One person sent an email back saying how cute he was and to please send them my address so they can send a card and gift. Ugh! I hope they didn't think the reason for sending the photos were to get more gifts! To top it off, this person came to the baby shower and gave about 6 adorable outfits; why would they need to send another gift? So my question is how do I respond? Just say 'no gift is necessary' and not include my address?

3. My neighbor, mother of 3 children ages 3-9, has offered so many times to help me out with the baby (or anything I might need) since I recently had a baby. She has bought diapers for me, gave us several baby outfit gifts, and gave me a couple childcare books she was finished with. To top it off, she came home from the hospital a day after I did for some major abdominal surgery to get rid of some kind of cancer and had been feeling tired for a while as she recuperates.

I have not burdened her by asking for any kind of help, but I really NEED to go to the dentist for some cavities I know I have and have been neglecting. I can't find anyone else to take care of Jacob. Do you think it would be okay to ask her to watch him for an hour or two, and if so, should I pay her? She keeps saying to just let her know any time I might need help so I don't think she would expect payment; maybe she might be offended if I offered, I don't know. What would you do?

Sorry this is so long; thanks for any advice you might have!

Laura

 

[experiment626mom]

1. No I don't feel compelled to buy a gift. I might send a card or an email.

2. I would send back an email to your friend telling her that she has all ready been more than generous and that a gift isn't necessary. If she still sends one, well take her to lunch or something as a thank you.

3. I would talk to your neighbor and see if she is feeling up to watching the baby while you are at the dentist.

Congratulations by the way on your son. We need to see a picture of the little guy!!

 

[Kermit]

1. I don't feel obligated to send a gift when I get a birth announcement. I do it sometimes, but not because I feel like I was asked.

2. I'd provide my address so that she can send a card, but I'd also state that you weren't expecting anything and that you appreciate the other gifts.

3. I'd run it by her, making it clear that she can say no. I'd ask if I could pay her, and if she said no, I'd give her a gift instead, like a gift card to a restaurant.

BTW, I had to go to the dentist a few weeks ago, and I had a teenager come with me and watch my kids in the waiting room. When you do it that way, it doesn't have to be someone who you'd be comfortable enough with to leave your baby completely alone with them. I think leaving the baby with your neighbor is fine, but I'm just throwing out another option in case you hadn't thought of it.

 

[mommytotwo]

1. When someone sends me an announcement, yes I do send a baby gift to congratulate the family.
2. I like to send pictures of my daughter also, and don't want my family or friends to feel obligated to send her anything. I would go ahead and just reply back that no gift is necessary, and if that person who wants your address really does want to send something to your child, then they will ask you again for your address, and give it at that time. I have given a baby shower gift and also a gift during the arrival of babies, and it's just a thought for the family and for the arrival of their new baby. It's not something that is required.
3. Your neighbor sounds like a very nice person, but since she just had surgury, I would not ask her for help at the moment.

 

[Maleficent13]

To the first two questions: I say let people send gifts if they want to. It makes people happy, and why rain on their parade? I guarantee no one thinks you are soliciting them.

To the third one: I would ask. All she can do is say yes or no. Offer to pay her and if she refuses, bring her flowers after your appointment.

JMHO.

 

[WeirdEyes]

1. No I don't feel compelled to buy a gift. I might send a card or an email.

2. I would send back an email to your friend telling her that she has all ready been more than generous and that a gift isn't necessary. If she still sends one, well take her to lunch or something as a thank you.

3. I would talk to your neighbor and see if she is feeling up to watching the baby while you are at the dentist.

Congratulations by the way on your son. We need to see a picture of the little guy!!

Great answers! And yes, we do need to see a picture of the baby. Congratulations! You are in for a wonderful, wonderful experience.

 

[golfgal]

No, I don't feel obligated to buy gifts for anyone for any reason, but I LOVE buying baby gifts, so chances are they will get a gift if I get a birth announcement.

See answer #1 for this answer, a lot of people LOVE buying baby things. I would just send an official birth announcement to this person and then she will have your address.

If you feel comfortable with her watching the baby, I would say yes. As for paying for the sitting, when you pick him up you could offer to pay her and if she doesn't want any money, then offer the favor in return to watch her children in a similar situation. Chances are she is like most mom's that are done having kids (assuming she is having kids) and just wants the baby fix, lol! If she didn't want to do it, she wouldn't have offered. I'll watch him if you need, I haven't had a baby fix for a while!

 

[CEDmom]

I don't feel obligated to send a gift for a birth announcement although I have on some occasions. I'd remind the person who wants your address how generous she's already been. I would talk to your neighbor and if she really doesn't mind try sometime doing something nice for her in return but I wouldn't pay her. Congratulations on your new addition.

 

[leahannpen]

1. When you receive a birth announcement in the mail, do you feel that you are expected to send a gift?

No

Do I need to include a note that somehow implies that gifts are not required or would that be tacky in itself?

No need to send a note. If they want to send a gift they will. I'd bet most won't though. I don't think it's the norm, atleast, it's not that I know of.

2.Why would they need to send another gift?

They may just want to....babies are so much fun to shop for!!

So my question is how do I respond?

Just say thanks...I don't think I'd send my address either. They can always
get it if they really feel they want to send another gift.

3.Do you think it would be okay to ask her to watch him for an hour or two, and if so, should I pay her? What would you do?

I think it's okay to ask her...maybe wait a few days for her to recover and then talk to her and then call to make the appointment according to her schedule and when it'll be most convienient for her after she's feeling better. She wouldn't have offered so many times if she didn't mean it. And maybe offer to do the same for her in a pinch? I doubt you'd have to pay her, but maybe send her a thank you card and thank her for doing it and for always thinking of you, that type of thing.

CONGRATULATIONS BY THE WAY!!!!! How old is baby? I just had a girl 7/27 also. Getting any sleep?

 

[Tracey1974]

I just went through this- here is my .02-

I didn't get to send the actual announcements out until just a few weeks ago. Having a newborn is tough enough without trying to put together and address announcements so I sent them after I got a good shot of the baby smiling. I've been busy making sure I send thank yous as well and keeping up with them.

I sent everyone an email announcement with pictures a few days after we got home from the hospital. I did recieve alot of cards in the mail and people that stopped by to see the baby almost all brought gifts. Christopher has more outfits than he can wear and he is already growing out of some of them!
I wasn't expecting them, but everytime I visit someone and visiting their baby for the first time, I always brought a gift. I would just thank the person in question #2 for their generosity, but maybe let them know that thier shower gift was appreciated, they shouldn't feel the need to send an additional gift. They may want to anyway though. People (including me) love to buy things for babies!

As for #3, I would maybe get them a gift card. My aunt is going to be watching our baby 3 days/week when I go back to work next month and I will be paying her for that. She loves to watch him and tells me all the time to call her if i need to go somewhere. I haven't actually taken her up on that yet, but when I do, I will probably get her a gift card from the grocery store or Walmart or maybe just a nice bunch of flowers.

Congrats on the baby! Put him in your sig!

 

[Nancy]

1. Not an autonmatic, depends on how close I am to them. If it is a close friend I probably already know that the had the baby, so I would have already bought a gift.

2. I would also tell her that she has been more than generous with baby gifts from the shower, but I would still include my address because she will probably still want to send something...some people are like that (my sister is)

3. Ask, if she can't then try to find someone else. I wouldn't offer to pay her, but a nice gift card or flowers would be nice.