2nd Wives Club

[DisneyDmbNut]

I know alot of first wives out there got screwed and such, but this is for the 2nd wives that have to deal with vindictive ex's that can't seem to let it go.

No offense to the nice ex's.. I have pleanty of friends that are in that catagory..But I have a 1st wife that is contantly harrassing us and is always taking my DH to court trying to prove he makes more $$. Withholding the child but not to the point where we could take her to court...just it always something comes up when we are suppose to see him ...DH is a fireman for heaven sakes...how much more $$ can he make! and is this really healthy for the kid??

anyway..just misery loves company...join in!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Well DBF and I are not married and never plan to be, but I detest his ex LTR with a passion. The very thought of them together makes me throw up. I hate that he is still friendly with her and refuses to acknowledge what a witch she was to him.

She makes me furious.

 

[Harley Chick]

I'm in the 3rd wives club, but I'll join. I have no problem with the first ex, we get along wonderfully. The second ex is another story. Sounds very much like your nightmare. I'll leave it at that.

 

[NMAmy]

Well, I'm a first wife AND a third wife so I can see both sides of the situation. I met DH's first wife last summer. Now they've been divorced for close to 20 years. She and his daughter live in England. We wanted to see his daughter (she's in her 20's) and invited the first wife along to lunch. OH MY GOD!!! What a huge mistake! She spent the entire time talking badly about DH. She wasn't bad to me until the very end. She hugged me goodbye and said, "Well, you're no where near as bad as I thought you'd be." After listening to her speak badly about DH in front of his daughter all day, I just about decked her. My SIL bundled me quickly into the car.

Heck, I've only been divorced from my ex for 4 years and I would NEVER act that badly in front of our daughter. He and his new wife had an affair while we were still married so she's not my favorite person, but I'm not rude. I figure she's done me a favor. And I certainly wouldn't have a problem with any subsequent wives! He's a jerk but when my daughter's there, I would never say a bad word about him--in fact, I make excuses for any stupid things he's done that upset her. I thought that after 20 years, she'd be over whatever problems they had but boy was I wrong!

 

[scarlett873]

i'm actually the 3rd wife...lol...we don't hear much from the 2nd wife. she's an adult and knows how to behave like one...

but then there's the 1st wife. good grief!! nightmare...can't let go of ANYTHING in the past. never liked me to begin with. (DH had dated me right before he dated her and she knew that i was THE love of his life, but teenagers make stupid decisions under the influence of alcohol ) he has a heck of a time with her over their son for the past 13 years...thankfully, we live 2 states away from her. i'd go insane if i had to see her on a regular basis!!!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

t would literally make me nauseous to be in the same room as someone who had had intimate relations with my DBF. I'm 27. He's 32 (almost).

I do not keep in touch with my exes. I have no children and neither does he. I guess it is different if there are kids involved. Otherwise I don't tolerate exes. Had too many guys leave me to go back to their exes.

Blech.

 

[meandtheguys]

Originally posted by Harley Chick
I'm in the 3rd wives club, but I'll join. I have no problem with the first ex, we get along wonderfully. The second ex is another story. Sounds very much like your nightmare. I'll leave it at that.

My mom is a first wife, and you remind me of my dad's wonderful third wife...now wife number two was a witch!

 

[coliebird]

I'm very lucky that my husband and his first wife had no children so there is absolutely no contact there at all. I don't think I would have been able to date him if he did have kids. I was 22 when we started dating, way too young to become a step-mother.

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

DH and I dated before he married her too...But I was 18, he was 28 and thought they had a more solid future...sheesh...does he regret it now...he says the ONLY good thing that came out of the whole marriage is he son.

DH and I have a 6yo DD and this woman STARES at my DD anytime we go to joint functions ( karate, ballgames) it has gotten to the point where DH thinks she is actually jealous that we have a girl ( something she always wanted) isn't that sick!! Then she calles me a while back and wanted me to add her as an emergency contact at DD's school..."in case you all can't pick her up" ...YEAH!!! When pigs fly outta my ****!
thanksfully..DSS and I get along great!!! ( another thing she hates!!)

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by DisneyDmbNut
DH and I dated before he married her too...But I was 18, he was 28 and thought they had a more solid future...sheesh...does he regret it now...he says the ONLY good thing that came out of the whole marriage is he son.

DH and I have a 6yo DD and this woman STARES at my DD anytime we go to joint functions ( karate, ballgames) it has gotten to the point where DH thinks she is actually jealous that we have a girl ( something she always wanted) isn't that sick!! Then she calles me a while back and wanted me to add her as an emergency contact at DD's school..."in case you all can't pick her up" ...YEAH!!! When pigs fly outta my ****!
thanksfully..DSS and I get along great!!! ( another thing she hates!!)

Yikes. She sounds evil.

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

yes..she is evil...she scares me sometimes...I don't "honestly" think she would hurt DD, but she has been known to snap!

ps - my DH owned his home outright when they got married ( it was his parents home) and he quit claimed 1/2 interest to her...she got all the $$ (400k) after only 3 years.

gee..wonder why I am bitter!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by DisneyDmbNut
yes..she is evil...she scares me sometimes...I don't "honestly" think she would hurt DD, but she has been known to snap!

ps - my DH owned his home outright when they got married ( it was his parents home) and he quit claimed 1/2 interest to her...she got all the $$ (400k) after only 3 years.

gee..wonder why I am bitter!

That's terrible.

 

[Shugardrawers]

I'm #2 in order but #1 in his heart!!! DHs 1st wife is a money grubbing evil witch but we TRY to have a civil relationship for the sake of their DD who is 16. Everything was fine between us all until we got engaged. Now she delights in telling people I broke up their marriage. Ummmm....the ink on the divorce papers had been dry 4 YEARS when I showed up! And SHE was the one who had an affair and threw him out. I guess it's a case of the old "I don't want him but don't want anyone else to have him" syndrome.

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

Originally posted by Shugardrawers
I'm #2 in order but #1 in his heart!!! DHs 1st wife is a money grubbing evil witch but we TRY to have a civil relationship for the sake of their DD who is 16. Everything was fine between us all until we got engaged. Now she delights in telling people I broke up their marriage. Ummmm....the ink on the divorce papers had been dry 4 YEARS when I showed up! And SHE was the one who had an affair and threw him out. I guess it's a case of the old "I don't want him but don't want anyone else to have him" syndrome.

you sound so much like me!!
She calles me a "thorn in her side" but she left him for another guy. Moved out of the house and was gone a year before we reconnected. Scary thing is, she calls me and can be as nice as pie then 20 minutes later calls and I am a ***** that stole her husband....YEAH, keep telling yourself that it is my fault, not yours!
She also calls him alot and asks him if they can "try" again. Even though she is still living with the boyfriend she left DH for...she even offered to give up rights to his pension if he would give her another baby....please tell me that I am not the only one that thinks this is sick!

 

[southernclass]

My fiance's ex knows better than to even look at me wrong, in fact everytime she comes to pick up her daughter she will not even come in the house and she looks straight at my fi!!

I think it is hilarious!!! She is mean to him but is always polite to me on the phone.

SHe does stupid stuff like call my fi to see if he can watch Kiley when she wants to go out and party and she always tries to squeeze more money out of us for child support.

I say us because his money is my money and vise versa, so in essence, I am supporting his child!!!

I make her miserable more than she gets to me. SHe likes to try and make herself to be better than me.

My fi does on purpose to annoy her by telling her things like, "Gosh Beth, you just got a **** job and Kenley's are still bigger than yours, or how maxed out our credit cards are because he spent so much $$$$ on my E-ring.

She makes sure she tells their daughter little things like," We are going to Italy for our honey moon and we get along so well bla bla bla, so that the child will come back and tell us.

Too funny!!!

 

[Auggietina]

I'm a second wife! But we been together longer than dh and his frist wife.

I'm not alone in the money hungry 1st wives!!

She makes over 10k more than dh - and lives in a home on the ocean, goes on trips with her new dh ALL the time, and is constatnly asking for more money from dh. I'm sorry but just because her standard of living has up, dh's didn't. He shouldn't have to pay for her upgrade. Their oldest ds is graduating in June and she says that he now will owe more child support because he will only be supporting 1 child instead of 2.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Wow, there are some sad situations here.

I am a second wife, and while DH's ex is not perfect she is the mother of his children and we all feel for the sake of the children it is best that WE ALL GET ALONG. It is not always easy, but when you focus on the kids it puts things in perspective. Our income is hit pretty hard because of child support payments and health insurance, but you know what, it is our obligation to our kids (and yes I think of DD and DS as my own). All three of us make about the same salary. So each household is really living on almost the same amount. lol

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

How is THAT!!

How can child support for one be more than for 2?? My friend's DH got downsized and is making about half what he was before. He has gone to court to ask for a reduction, but the court hasn't answered in 2 months...meanwhile he got $100. paycheck and the ex got $400. support...AND!!! she called and chewed him out because she isn't getting enough! I don't understand the courtsystem

 

[scarlett873]

Originally posted by Miss Jasmine
Wow, there are some sad situations here.

I am a second wife, and while DH's ex is not perfect she is the mother of his children and we all feel for the sake of the children it is best that WE ALL GET ALONG. It is not always easy, but when you focus on the kids it puts things in perspective. Our income is hit pretty hard because of child support payments and health insurance, but you know what, it is our obligation to our kids (and yes I think of DD and DS as my own). All three of us make about the same salary. So each household is really living on almost the same amount. lol

ITA with miss jasmine...i feel that we should all get along for the sake of the children, BUT only my DH and i seem to be the ones feeling that way! lol...the ex just does what she can to make our lives miserable when it comes to my stepson. we have a very limited relationship with him due to her antics. it's very frustrating too. we've tried and tried and tried, but she just makes things so impossible! he's 13 now... supposedly, she's told DSS that he can decide for himself what he wants to do. if he wants to come see us or live with us...i guess we'll believe that when he's actually here in our home!! she's told him terrible things about his dad...he's now beginning to question some of the stuff he's been told though. he's beginning to "see the light" about some things his mother's told him...all's we can do is wait...

 

[Auggietina]

We need to go to court to petition to stop the payment for his oldest ds. Unfortuantely, my dh is in Iraq fighting a war and she writes to him asking for more money and how dare he think she's going to get less than what she gets now. So now I am between a rock and a hard place. Because I can't petition the court because we don't have a POA specifically for that. She said that she is going to get more money for 1 than 2 because of her increase in salary. From what I could find on our state is that they take each of the parents salary and it is based on that gross number. So since she makes much more than she did when they were married, it brings them up to a higher bracket, so making him pay more. Which I don't understand, since he has no change in salary. Unfortunetly, we can not afford to go to a lawyer.