2nd place is the first loser.

[MareQ]

Yup - I head a father say this to his son at the market last night. The boy must have just come from a wrestling match. They were in line behind me... The father was BERATING the child for coming in 2nd. The boy kept saying "But I've NEVER come in 2nd before I was happy with second place Dad" and the father's comeback was "Son, second place is just the first loser. Next time you need to shoot higher"

WTH is wrong with that man?????????????

:

 

[Savsmommy]

 

[auntpolly]

At my daughter's swim meets there was a mom who would yell at her kid even if she won, but if she didn't win by enough (if her time wasn't what she thought it should have been.)

 

[bjgrazi]

What's wrong with the father is what is wrong with A LOT of parents lately. Try sitting at a HS football game. My son plays rec basketball and is coaching a younger team, it's unreal some of the comments he gets from parents.

I have learned to sit by myself at the games, because I can't believe what comes out of parents mouth.

I don't get why they just can't let the kids have fun and let it go. In the grand scheme of things it means nothing.

 

[transparant]

Poor kid

 

[binny]

Yep same as hockey parents.

It never ceases to amaze me that parents get in their kids faces like that. My DH coaches roller hockey and you wouldnt believe what weve heard. Or what has been said to HIM. Hello people this is a VOLUNTEER position. He is out here to help your kids have fun not to listen to you go balistic because he called your kid off when he looks like tired and is going to pass out if we dont pull him for a few shifts .


Second place first loser, what a jerk

 

[shirleyb]

There are lots of parents out there like that and while there is nothing wrong with setting high expectations, you certainly need to offer praise and encouragement too.

I remember seeing a TV movie about Tiger Woods, and I don't know how accurate it was, but his dad was way worse than that with him when he was young, and it obviously paid off.

 

[noodleknitter]

What a screwed up man, and that kid won't be far behind.

Parents living vicariously thru their children is one of my pet peeves in life.

 

[SillyMe]

I would've turned around and said to the little boy "Did I hear that right? You got second place in your wrestling match? That's awesome!"

WTH is wrong with people?! Poor kid.

 

[auntpolly]

There are lots of parents out there like that and while there is nothing wrong with setting high expectations, you certainly need to offer praise and encouragement too.

I remember seeing a TV movie about Tiger Woods, and I don't know how accurate it was, but his dad was way worse than that with him when he was young, and it obviously paid off.

I think Tiger Woods is a one in a million.

Mostly, parents like that just created burned out kids - I'm now able to see the fruits of the labor of these monster parents. It's not pretty. I see a bunch of kids who wince when they even hear mention their sport!

 

[Hannathy]

Because the darn parents now live thru their kids and don't know when to let them be kids. They schedule everything, plan everything and have to be there! Hovering parent ring a bell. The games are bad enough, but they actually bring chairs and sit and watch 5 yr olds practice soccer like it is an Olympic event!
The poor kids never get a chance to be kids or make a mistake without Mommy knowing, it drives the coaches crazy. You learn most things by trying and failing and trying again but these kids are afraid to try because if they don't do it right they know Mommy or Daddy who was hovering will dissect it the whole way home. I'm glad I grew up yrs ago.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Wonder if dad was mom's SECOND choice.

What an awful thing to say to a kid.

 

[rayelias]

Sorry, but I have to disagree. Perhaps he went about it in the wrong way, but there is absolutely nothing wrong in (strongly) encouraging a child to win.

Second place IS first loser. There are many, many instances in the real world where if you don't win, you lose. I'd much rather prepare a child to fight hard, strong, and with all he's got than to coddle him/her into believing that it doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's whether you had fun.

Bull. If you lose, you come back and try harder.

Games and sports are a lesson in life. If you teach the children that results of their efforts don't matter, what is that going to get them? If you don't encourage children to stive to be better, why should they? Are we raising a generation of wimpy, sub-par, defeatists, or do we want to raise a generation of achievers, winners, and leaders?

 

[MareQ]

Sorry, but I have to disagree. Perhaps he went about it in the wrong way, but there is absolutely nothing wrong in (strongly) encouraging a child to win.

Second place IS first loser. There are many, many instances in the real world where if you don't win, you lose. I'd much rather prepare a child to fight hard, strong, and with all he's got than to coddle him/her into believing that it doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's whether you had fun.

Bull. If you lose, you come back and try harder.

Games and sports are a lesson in life. If you teach the children that results of their efforts don't matter, what is that going to get them? If you don't encourage children to stive to be better, why should they? Are we raising a generation of wimpy, sub-par, defeatists, or do we want to raise a generation of achievers, winners, and leaders?

WOW! Couldn't disagree more. We shouldn't be teaching our kids to be THE BEST - we should be teaching them to be THE BEST THEY CAN BE!

The kid was proud of his accomplishment and the father was BERATING HIM!

 

[auntpolly]

Sorry, but I have to disagree. Perhaps he went about it in the wrong way, but there is absolutely nothing wrong in (strongly) encouraging a child to win.

Second place IS first loser. There are many, many instances in the real world where if you don't win, you lose. I'd much rather prepare a child to fight hard, strong, and with all he's got than to coddle him/her into believing that it doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's whether you had fun.

Bull. If you lose, you come back and try harder.

Games and sports are a lesson in life. If you teach the children that results of their efforts don't matter, what is that going to get them? If you don't encourage children to stive to be better, why should they? Are we raising a generation of wimpy, sub-par, defeatists, or do we want to raise a generation of achievers, winners, and leaders?

If you don't mind my asking what are the ages of your kids and how's that working for you?

 

[Maleficent13]

There are many, many instances in the real world where if you don't win, you lose.

Not trying to be a smart ***, but other than the military, can I have some examples where this is true?

 

[noodleknitter]

Good grief! It isn't "coddling a kid" to congratulate them for doing the best they've ever done. Sure you can encourage them to work, but you dont' berate them! That is just plane sick!

I would rather my children be happy, work hard, and come in second than to be miserable, and think they are not worthwhile because they didn't come in first!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Second place IS first loser. There are many, many instances in the real world where if you don't win, you lose. I'd much rather prepare a child to fight hard, strong, and with all he's got than to coddle him/her into believing that it doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's whether you had fun.

Bull. If you lose, you come back and try harder.

Games and sports are a lesson in life. If you teach the children that results of their efforts don't matter, what is that going to get them? If you don't encourage children to stive to be better, why should they? Are we raising a generation of wimpy, sub-par, defeatists, or do we want to raise a generation of achievers, winners, and leaders?

Semantics--it is a completely negative thing and instead of praising what the child had accomplished!! (HELLO--it is an HONOR in life in many places to get second place)

It is incredibly pessimistic and if you are in it to just win it--you won't be in it for long with that attitude.

The kid stated he had NEVER gotten 2nd place--I take that to mean that is the highest he had achieved thus far. And all he got was chewed out b/c it wasn't good enough.

In the real word--I don't put up with any of that from anybody.

It's different if you slacked off and it caused you to lose 1st place..but if you tried as hard as you could..being berated for it?

There is a HUGE difference between coddling and recognizing effort when you see it.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Not trying to be a smart ***, but other than the military, can I have some examples where this is true?

The only thing I can thing of is when you are trying to win a business contract--typically the only one who does it is the one who gets FIRST. But hubby's company (where I used to work) would NEVER berate employees for it. Ever.

They win plenty of contracts--but sometimes the numbers or the terms just aren't want the customer wants.

If they focused their energies on berating employees when that happened--they'd find themselves much less successful than they are.

Aside from the military--I can't imagine where berating someone IRL is appropriate or ever accomplishes anything.

 

[jrmasm]

It's been our experience that the rec parents are the worst. When kids move up to Club level, things start to mellow. Again, just our experience.

2nd place is the first loser but that's pretty harsh to say to a kid. We are much more interested in DD's effort than the outcome of any game.