-

[Fintastic]

I would take the kids in a heartbeat, but I have to wonder about parents who can't come up with SOME other arrangement that lets them stay with their kids.

That's my first thought too.

 

[momto2girls]

I would do it for family or for VERY close friends, as long as the children were "good" kids. I definitely wouldn't take anyone's "problem" teenager, for example.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I'll offer again....I have 2 boys that I can put on a plane to CA tonight...



QUOTE]


Sure thing, send on on over!

 

[cruellababy]

Yes, without questions or stipulations.

Exactly the same here too.

 

[LuvOrlando]

-

 

[EthansMom]

For VERY close friends or family members... yes. But I think I have to qualify that... it would need to be for a pretty specific time, for a specific set of reasons, and the parents would need to pay something toward the child's support.

I know lots of people live paycheck to paycheck, but I find it odd that the OP's friend's husband *might* lose his job and the friend is already worried about losing their house. Just a guess... but the friend and her husband may have more serious underlying financial problems than just the possibility of lay-off (which can be devasting in and of itself).

 

[Cool-Beans]

OMG, this is too funny. The girl who lived through hell is now complaining for the one millionth time that EVERYONE ELSE gets to go to tanning booths and she should be able to, as well. And the tanning beds aren't as bad as I say they are and EVERYONE else does it.

For such a very long time, she was ever-so-careful not to upset anyone. It was abnormal how well-behaved she was. Seriously. I longed for the day where she'd talk back. Or fight with the boys. Or do anything that wasn't beyond perfect.

Got what I wanted. The day she threw a brush at DS (who deserved to have a brush thrown at him) was the beginning...but now she's come pretty much all the way into normalness.

I swear to God, this tanning bed issue of hers proves how fars she's come.

I am going to have to fight over this every winter. I know it.

Funny that she starts this up right now when I'm feeling all sympathetic and kind toward her because of this thread. (But she's not going.)

 

[Sandy V.]

I honestly don't know what I would do because the situation has never presented itself, but I do know that if I were the one in dire financial straits, my DH and I would move heaven and earth to live somewhere WITH our children, no matter where that was. Not making judgments on your friends nor saying I'm better than anyone else, but it would just kill me to be apart from my "babies".

I hope their financial woes get straightened out, OP.

 

[TaraPA]

OMG, this is too funny. The girl who lived through hell is now complaining for the one millionth time that EVERYONE ELSE gets to go to tanning booths and she should be able to, as well. And the tanning beds aren't as bad as I say they are and EVERYONE else does it.

For such a very long time, she was ever-so-careful not to upset anyone. It was abnormal how well-behaved she was. Seriously. I longed for the day where she'd talk back. Or fight with the boys. Or do anything that wasn't beyond perfect.

Got what I wanted. The day she threw a brush at DS (who deserved to have a brush thrown at him) was the beginning...but now she's come pretty much all the way into normalness.

I swear to God, this tanning bed issue of hers proves how fars she's come.

I am going to have to fight over this every winter. I know it.

Funny that she starts this up right now when I'm feeling all sympathetic and kind toward her because of this thread. (But she's not going.)

I'm cracking up over here!

Totally off-topic here but go hug her, a 12-year old boy was killed in our area yesterday (LuvOrlando - you're near me - did you see that) walking into school - he was run over by a school bus right after his mom dropped him off. Absolutly horrific & tragic. I can't get it out of my head. Life can change in a second. Everyone go hug your kids! Go hug someone else's kids! Handbag Lady - come hug MY kids!!!

Now back to our regularly scheduled program....

 

[LuvOrlando]

-

 

[rie'smom]

I honestly don't know what I would do because
the situation has never presented itself, but I do know that if I were the one in dire financial straits, my DH and I would move heaven and earth to live somewhere WITH our children, no matter where that was. Not making judgments on your friends nor saying I'm better than anyone else, but it would just kill me to be apart from my "babies".

I hope their financial woes get straightened out, OP.

I'd take in kids but if I were in the situation, I agree with Sandy. We might live in a homeless shelter but by golly, we'd live together as a family. No way, no how would I send my kids to live somewhere else.

 

[NMAmy]

Yes, I would absolutely for a close friend or family member.

During the Depression, my mother lived with my great-grandmother and my aunt was adopted by a friend of my grandmother's. Neither could afford to take both girls.

If I let a friend's or family member's kids end up in a homeless shelter when I have room for them, my mom would be smacking me upside the head.

 

[NotUrsula]

I'd take in kids but if I were in the situation, I agree with Sandy. We might live in a homeless shelter but by golly, we'd live together as a family. No way, no how would I send my kids to live somewhere else.

See, that's the problem: homeless shelters are almost always gender-segregated. There are dorms, and you cannot take your opposite-gender children in with you once they are over a certain age. That's why so many homeless couples/families spend their nights in cars -- they can't stay together in a shelter.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I'd take in kids but if I were in the situation, I agree with Sandy. We might live in a homeless shelter but by golly, we'd live together as a family. No way, no how would I send my kids to live somewhere else.

You have to appreciate that these folks have no money. None. You might be able to sleep in the shelter, but you don't live there...and most of them are set up for males/females only. Cuts down on the rape.

Assuming you can get them enrolled in the public city schools, you'll have to wait until school is out to take them to the shelter. And if it opened before that and its full, you're going to be sleeping on the street where there is nobody to protect you.

And it is cold. It is freezing. You'll freeze to death if you don't sleep on a grate and have some kind of cover.

Yes, the welfare will get you a little bit of money and put you on a list for housing. They'll probably give you some food stamps, too. And a bus pass.

But you have no place to prepare food and you'll have to carry it around with you if you can't eat it.

I'm also assuming you're going to want some kind of job. Might have to work when the kids aren't in school. Now you need to find day care. But you have no money to pay for it.

MANY people don't want to drag their kids through all that with them.

I'm not saying it is wrong to keep the kids with you, but you can understand why some people would perfer that the kids remain in their own school and have a safe, warm place to sleep at night. Can't you?

The city gets harsh at night. And for all the money spent on government programs, there isn't a hell of a lot of help out there. It's scary and it's cold and I can see why people wouldn't want their kids to experience that.

Lord, I was never homeless and hated even having to make my kids live around all that crap. Hated it myself, too. Wouldn't blame anyone who tried to keep their kids away from it.

Heck, even DD's lunatic mother (and lunatic is not a stretch) knew when to throw in the towel and give her kid something better.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

Yes. I would take in a friend or relative's child.

I did take in a cat, though.

So it IS your flippin' cat.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Yes. I would take in a friend or relative's child.




So it IS your flippin' cat.

I took her in. She gets to stay here where it is safe and warm and dry. When it warms up, she can go back out. She gets to come and go as she pleases, but she's a guest. She's not mine.

She needs food and a place to stay, she's got it. But I didn't go to court and get custody of HER.

 

[barkley]

just want to suggest that your friend might want to check with social services before making a decision.

some services she may find the kids in need of would be unavailable if she lets them live with a non family member vs. a family member. things like public assistance and medicaid can't be paid to a non relative whereas a relation can get these under 'non needy relative' rules (they won't count the income or assetts of the relative-they'll just look at the parent's situation).

 

[tazdev3225]

I did do this several years ago. My DS came home one night and told me a story about one of his friends. The boy had spent the night quite a few times and I had asked my DS about it. He never really wanted to go home. The boy's parents were divorced and the mother fell on hard times. She was living in a really run down motel with her 3 boys, because she had lost her house. I took the oldest boy in and then his younger brother for a short time. I still think of the boys as "adopted" sons. The mom took them back as soon as she was able. I would do it again if I were in that position and could help someone in bad circumstances.

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Absolutely. I would also make my home open to the parents and made sure they still in the kids lives on a daily basis. I really would do whatever it took to help either a relative or a good friend in need.

 

[quentina]

We would, we did, we adopted 2 out of foster care.

An incredible experience, one I would recommend to all.