2 days till Disneyland trip and feeling guilty!!

[Crazy4Goofy]

Ok, I am 48 hours away from my trip to Disneyland with DH to celebrate our anniversary!! And we are going without our children. First off, it is just now sinking in that I am actually going since this was totally planned at the last minute. My kids, (DD14 , DD12 and DS 8 ) are very excited for us to go because that means they get to spend time with their favorite aunt and uncle for a few days and get a break from mom and dad. I know my kids will be taken care of and I will have no need to worry. And bless their hearts, they have not once said they wish they could come with us. But, I am starting to feel guilty that I am leaving them behind.

We did our first Disneyland trip in 2002 to celebrate my husbands recovery from a very serious tumor in his femur bone. So Disneyland has become our happy place!! A place where we go for renewal when we feel we need to zone back in on our family!! We have gone back as a family almost every year since that first trip including this last April. So, the thought of going without my children is starting to feel really weird!! As I have been going over the entertainment schedule, I keep trying to add in things that the kids would enjoy only to realize that this is for DH and me and we actually get to do whatever we want.

So, I am asking, have you ever felt guilty for going without your loved ones?? How can we go enjoy ourseleves as a couple??

 

[godalejunior]

Ok, I am 48 hours away from my trip to Disneyland with DH to celebrate our anniversary!! And we are going without our children. First off, it is just now sinking in that I am actually going since this was totally planned at the last minute. My kids, (DD14 , DD12 and DS 8 ) are very excited for us to go because that means they get to spend time with their favorite aunt and uncle for a few days and get a break from mom and dad. I know my kids will be taken care of and I will have no need to worry. And bless their hearts, they have not once said they wish they could come with us. But, I am starting to feel guilty that I am leaving them behind.

We did our first Disneyland trip in 2002 to celebrate my husbands recovery from a very serious tumor in his femur bone. So Disneyland has become our happy place!! A place where we go for renewal when we feel we need to zone back in on our family!! We have gone back as a family almost every year since that first trip including this last April. So, the thought of going without my children is starting to feel really weird!! As I have been going over the entertainment schedule, I keep trying to add in things that the kids would enjoy only to realize that this is for DH and me and we actually get to do whatever we want.

So, I am asking, have you ever felt guilty for going without your loved ones?? How can we go enjoy ourseleves as a couple??

Initally yes, I did but once we got there and started having a good time it did lessen. You deserve to have some quality time to yourselves. If your children had not been I could see feeling guilty.... we enjoyed going by ourselves so much we are doing it again in a few weeks!!

 

[wendypooh22]

Initally yes, I did but once we got there and started having a good time it did lessen. You deserve to have some quality time to yourselves. If your children had not been I could see feeling guilty.... we enjoyed going by ourselves so much we are doing it again in a few weeks!!

I agree with jr that in the beginning it's hard to get rid of the guilt. My kids know that they are loved and adored so for them 1/2 the fun is staying with their grandparents and getting a call from mom to check on them My hubby and I take trips alone because we need the time to relax and just "BE" with eachother.. Life is pretty stressful lately and those few days are just soo relaxing.

My kids can't complain because we often leave dear old dad at home to watch the "farm" while we (Me, DS8 & DS10) head out to DLR for either a day or a weekend... I get the best of it all since I am at every trip

Sit back, relax and enjoy your adult trip

 

[KimD]

We did and had a great time! I was so torn on whether to do it or not to go and felt guilty on and off but it was SO MUCH FUN! We really enjoyed just US and while there were moments (quite a few) where I had the mommy pang of guilt when there would be something that I knew my kids loved but during that trip we decided to bring them back with us a few months later so not only did we get an adult trip to enjoy DLR BUT I got a bonus guilty mommy trip thrown in for good measure!

You will have a wonderful time! And may I just say that the jungle cruise just might be a wee bit funnier after a really good apple tini at Catal (not that I would know or anything like that ) I actually wrote a trip report about it but it was like three years ago so I'm sure it's buried somewhere.

Enjoy, remember to look for things to see/do/show them when you all go back (that helped me a lot) and have a very Happy Anniversary!

 

[2ndStar]

I haven't been to DL without the kids with my dh, but a few years ago, I went to a special event for educators at the Disneyland Hotel and couldn't take my kids. I also had very mixed feelings - almost as if I was betraying them by going without them. I actually wound up having a wonderful time and seeing DL from an entirely different point of view going with just adults. We didn't ride many of the Fantasyland rides (which helped missing my little ones), but I got to ride and do many other great things we never do on our family trips. In the end, it just enhanced my love for DL even more.

As for couples' trips without the kids, I have a tough time doing this too, but I know that time alone with my dh only makes our relationship, and thus our family, that much stronger. I can't remember where I heard it, but a real "ah-ha" moment for me was hearing someone say that they loved their spouse more than their children, and that that was as it should be. It shows children how a loving and stong adult relationship should be. And he also pointed out that one day the kids will be gone, and it will once more be his wife who is central to his life, and he didn't want to lose sight of the fact that it was she, not their children, with whom he will share every aspect of his life. I thought it was a good point, as I know of too many relationships where once children enter the picture, the marriage becomes strained. And I remind myself of this whenever I don't want to do an occassional trip or something special without the kids.

So, go! Don't feel guilty, and try and see DL in a whole, new way. Just bring back souveiners for the kiddos!

 

[Disney Dreams]

I can't address the guilty part because I am a 5 year AP holder without kids, but.... as for your planning stuff to do:

I love Disneyland as a kid-free adult. You get to be the kid. Get your picture taken with characters. Go on rides / see shows / eat at restaurants YOU TWO want to go to, not the ones the kids do. Take time to just enjoy a nice walk around the Rivers of America or a ride on the Mark Twain, or other things that you would never do with the kids.

Disneyland is a great place for big kids, er, adults.

- Dreams

 

[Krissy Marissy]

I am going in Dec with DH without our kids. And I feel guilty too. At first all of the planning was fun and exciting and we were so giddy at the thought of a trip where it would just be us. But three nights quickly turned into only one because I feel bad lol I know we will have fun and we just need a quick break but still. We are bringing the kids down in April so that helps.

Just try to relax and I am hoping that once you arrive and get going you wont feel so badly. Enjoy your trip and travel safely!

 

[pixiewings71]

Sure, but as the day goes by I feel better. I always miss my girls when we are apart so that's normal for me. I do miss them while we are in the parks and I will see something and stop to show them and then realize they aren't there, I'm sad for a few moments and then I either take a picture to share or send a text message to the person they are staying with and I feel better. You will miss your kids and they will miss you, but having time alone is good for you both. Enjoy yourselves!!

 

[Empico]

The more you like Disneyland the more often you will take your kids. So your kids are pretty smart to encourage you to go without them.

Me and my DH are going along together for the first time in 38 years. Kids and then four grandkids. We've spent so much money taking all of them. Our turn and we just can't think of anything we'd rather do (for the money and time).

 

[PinkBudgie]

DH and I are going for a week in June for our 20th anniversary by ourselves. We even bought APs for ourselves but not the boys. I do feel a little bad about that, but we are taking them for a day in Jan. Our boys will almost be 16 and will stay with Grandparents. They never once complained either. They are very good boys, but they did say it would be cool to have passes.

I can't wait to have all that time to go and do anything we want! This past summer we went on the Matterhorn a zillion times and I didn't get to look in some other places I wanted to see. It will be fun to have a relaxing, unhurried trip.

 

[KCmike]

Really Really interested in hearing how your trip goes. My wife and I's 20th anniversary is coming up and we have never left the kids for any kind of trip. We are debating whether going to Hawaii (never been and after watching the Jon and Kate episode of where they stayed in Hawaii I need to be there at some time in my life), Disneyland at Christmas time (our anniversary is Nov. 10th) or Disneyworld (never stayed at a deluxe resort and Christmas there would be fine as well). We are excited that we could possibly take time out for just some alone time for us but we can't get over that feeling that its just not us anymore...we adore our kids and they are such a big part of who we are.

Anyways enough rambling. Can't wait to hear how it goes.

 

[Crazy4Goofy]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for listening and for giving me some advice on how to enjoy this trip with just my DH. I'm sure I will have my moments when I will miss my children but I want to enjoy my time alone with DH because we don't get that time very often.

KCmike We are like you. Our anniversary is Nov. 15th and we have never taken a trip away from our children during our 17 years (almost) of marriage!!! This is a first for us and honestly it is a little scary but exciting at the same time. I will let ya know how this trip goes for us

2ndstar Thanks for reminding me that it is so important that we spend time together savoring our relationship because yes, soon, it will be just us without the children.

I can't wait to set out on this new adventure enjoying Disneyland minus the kids!!

 

[gatorfreud]

We just went a few weeks ago without the kids and had a blast! We did not tell ours where we were going, as they are only 3 and 5, and they love Disney! I felt a tiny bit guilty, and then a LOT guilty when my oldest called crying to say good night, why did we leave, blah blah, just as we got to Main Street! But we got over it pretty quickly!


google and read up on tips on how to score high on TSMM. Lots of the stuff takes 2 people, so it was fun to ride together for once (or 6 times!). Also we enjoyed staying out late, as we never do that with the kids!

Have a great time... the best gift you can give your kids is to keep mom and dad happy, and a couples trip will certainly do that! Go and have fun!

Kim

 

[Brady's Mom]

We loved our trip last year as just adults. We have been married for over 20 years and only taken overnight trips because we can't bear to be away from our kids. Like KCMike says, they are a big part of who we are! We went for 4 days to DLR and had a fantastic time. We did feel guilty several times and we both missed our kids a ton. But, we made mental reminders of what we wanted to take them on when we went together as a family.

We stayed out late and slept in. (Our kids are very early risers) We didn't have a big schedule, we rode whatever we wanted, when we wanted. We ate when we were hungry and went to restaurants that we knew our kids wouldn't like. It was nice to remember why I am married to the man that I am and how much fun we could have together, just the 2 of us. It was a very rejuvenating long weekend. I think it helps to make you stronger as a person and a parent and the more connected you are to your spouse, the stronger your family is!!

The only thing we didn't do when we were there in Anaheim, was go to see Wicked. That is the only regret we have! It is hard to get tickets where we live and on our upcoming trip I don't think we will be able to get away.

 

[Tink813]

Well Crazy4Goofy...Im sure you are gone by now...but I wanted to share a short funny story. We just planned a vaca just the two of us back in March. I felt so guilty!!! The next day the guilt was no better....it was worse! Everything reminded me of the kids. (we go once or twice a year) So my dh said "why dont we bring them down?" So....we did!! Ours are 20,15 and 11 years so they could fly by themselves. It was funny later...everyone thought I was nuts....but hey...it made for a great story!!!

 

[PinkBudgie]

That's funny! Even though ours were old enough last summer when we went to go off by themselves, it seems like it didn't happen that often. One day they left us in the morning to ride Splash a bunch of times in a row. But other times it seemed like there still wasn't enough time to go do everything we wanted to before we would meet up for meals. And then one day the earthquake happened so we thought it would be better to stay together that day just in case another happened.

I'm looking forward to hearing how the OP's trip was! Can't wait for ours in June!

 

[pixiewings71]

I just got back from an overnight in Reno with my honey. Oh man, it helped us recharge sooooooooooo much!! We gambled a little (I won $100) and our room was compd by a show performer we are friends with and guests of so it was relatively free. Anyway, we had a GREAT time and it just made me more excited for our Jan trip!