1st Trip Since Divorce

[disny4fun]

Hi...I am hoping for some suggestions/ideas/?

Our first trip to the world was in 2000, my dd was 7 then. Five years ago my husband and I divorced and my DD has taken it very hard. He made her the center of his world, recently he has a new center (blonde, about 5'5") a girlfriend and our daughter has been left behind for his "new family". It's been a difficult year for her and I decided to take her to DW again, Actually I have been saving for a trip since our divorce but something always seems to come up and we have not been able to go. I booked a trip for December (1st week) and have most of it paid for at this moment. My questions are: Will she think back to our family trip in 2000? What can I do to make this a special trip for her? She is now 16 and everything...everything...is such a big emotional deal these days.

 

[frkymcky]

Hi...I am hoping for some suggestions/ideas/?

Our first trip to the world was in 2000, my dd was 7 then. Five years ago my husband and I divorced and my DD has taken it very hard. He made her the center of his world, recently he has a new center (blonde, about 5'5") a girlfriend and our daughter has been left behind for his "new family". It's been a difficult year for her and I decided to take her to DW again, Actually I have been saving for a trip since our divorce but something always seems to come up and we have not been able to go. I booked a trip for December (1st week) and have most of it paid for at this moment. My questions are: Will she think back to our family trip in 2000? What can I do to make this a special trip for her? She is now 16 and everything...everything...is such a big emotional deal these days.

I have been in shoes similar to your daughters. Years ago when I was 8 my mother took my brother and I to WDW (we were suppose to go with our dad to but they split up). While we were there I did think of my dad and what it would of been like, but I can say that I had a great time and still remember things about that trip 20something years later. What I would suggest and I am sure you do it now, realize that she may have moments while there thinking about Dad, but that's okay. Don't push the issue just be there for her. Just relax and enjoy the vacation, as you know there is something about Disney that makes things all better

 

[aidtrismommy]

We went twice since I split with my husband (my parents, sister, brother, and my two boys) My kids are very very young so it is different than your situation. I had weird feelings about it because I didn't know howmy kids would feel looking back on this at pictures and such. But I realized that we are a family (me and my boys) and we will make new memories and Disney will be that special thing for us. Their father is living in a different state and visits sparingly, so it is important that the kids and I continue to live and thrive and be normal. Before I ramble on forever, my point is, take her on the trip and have a great time. Bond with each other and soak in the magic. It will be great with just the 2 of you and it can be "your thing".

 

[d1sneyf4n]

Is this trip a surprise for her? If not maybe you can involve her in the planning..........where you are going to eat, what parks what days, etc. My parents got divorced when I was going into 8th grade and I am now 31. I still to this day think what it would have maybe been like if the divorce never happened. But then I realize that if my parents did not get a divorce then I would not be who I am today and I think I turned out pretty darn good. I am sure daughter will be fine. My mom took my brother and me on a vaca after the divorce and we had a good time. I am not really sure if I thought how it would be with my dad along but I do know that it was a time for my brother , my mother, and me to be together. I say if she stops and thinks about her dad while you are in WDW or she gets a little upset bc she wishes her dad was there also, just embrace it and let her know that you understand. Divorces are very hard but your daughter will be fine. I hope you both have a great time. We were there is past Dec and it was great.

 

[MandM-Mom]

I have no ideas for you just wishing you a magical trip, my parents divorced about the same time and I know it is hard....I think there is such an age differance now you will be doing different things making new memories together, but I think its important for her to remember the fun family times you all had together too without being bitter, my parents never understood that I still had great memories of our original "family" before the seperation and always were so bitter I never got to talk about it.

 

[Poohbug]

My Mother took me and my sister to WDW after my Mom and Dad got divorced. This is a trip I will never forget and one of the reasons that I love WDW today.

It was the first trip we did together as a new family. My Mom would never have even thought about a trip without Dad(they were married 30 yrs), so this was a giant step for her. I was proud of her then for taking that step and am still proud of her today. It reassured all of us that life would be OK without Dad there-fun even.

Take the trip. Your daughter may think about her Dad but thats OK. Maybe she will see that even tho things are different, everything will be alright.

 

[dawminatrix]

i took my daughter to MGM after my divorce...she was 7 years old and I made the trip all about her. I let her decide what rides we would go on, where we would eat...everything....to this day she remembers that day as one of the best times in her life! (we rode Rockin Roller Coaster 7 times in a row!!)

I hope you have a magical time!

 

[disneybridetobe]

My mom did the same thiing when I was 12!! Must be the mother-daughter thing to do. I have a few suggestions though-- do "adult" things, she's probably feeling like she is or wants to be grown up right now. Can you do maybe a spa service together like a facial, pedicure, or massage? And maybe a nice dinner at the Cali Grill where you can both get all dolled up and have a girls' night out, even order her a "mocktail"-- like a virgin pina colada

I also went to Cancun with my mom when I was 16, and we did things like that, and it was a GREAT trip, memories I'll always cherish.

Have fun!!

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

I can't speak from personal experience but I'll throw in my 2-cents anyway!!!

I agree with a previous post and include her in the planning if it's not a surprise. Try to get things out of her that she REALLY wants to do, but being a teen, I doubt will show her emotions for the things she really wants!

If you are keeping it a secret, well, I wouldn't be able to keep it a secret!!! LOL!

While you're down there, make the trip about the two of you. Slow down and really enjoy it... don't get caught up in the rush of the parks. Do what you want to do and forget everything else. Try not to compare it to your previous trip. Shoot, make it a point to try things you DIDN'T do last time (but don't bring that part up!!!). Go parasailing, get matching temporary tattoos, find something you are both too chicken to do, but try it together anyway...

My favorite thing about being at WDW is the fact that if you want to, you can be completely disconnected from everything else but your family and the World. There doesn't have to be drama and you actually can make time to stop and smell the roses. My second favorite part of WDW is rediscovering the park with someone, seeing things that I was too busy to notice before.

Best of luck with your planning and I hope this trip is a fresh start for the two of you. Maybe it will bring you even closer and she realizes that she's the center of your world.

 

[Tinker_]

My DS is 3, so his first trip after the divorce was not something he understood (although he does ask if Daddy can come to WDW, and I tell him maybe next year).. I was surprised how hard it was for ME. DH and I went on our honeymoon at WDW and twice a year after that, and there was a flood of emotions that came back to me.. just seeing little things that reminded me of him, etc.

 

[disny4fun]

Thank you everyone for all your advice and well wishes. You sweet messages brought me to tears more than once.

I am so looking forward to this trip and wanting her and I to have a wonderful time.

 

[mom1005]

I decided to take the boys on their first vacation EVER two months after my divorce was final. Their father didn't believe in any type of vacation (he says we couldn't afford ), anyways I decided that we would go full MOUSE we stayed for 21 days and had a blast. My boys were 12 and 9 at the time, and they still talk about it. I know they thought about their father, but made myself a deal not to mention him and the fact he was not there. The boys called their father when they wanted to, kept him updated etc. They even brought back a gift for him, of course I paid for it .

My biggest suggestion is since your daughter is older, I agree with the PP's and have your daughter involved with the planning. Take your time, and do "grown-up" stuff. Relax and realize that time helps things.

This should be both of your treats, so make it that way.