1st time without kids....guilt......

[disneydreamerinny]

Hi,
I am having guilty feelings about not taking my DD's this trip with us.
My DH and I have planned a 2nd honeymoon for our 17th wedding anniversary this september using the free dining plan.
We have been 3 times before, all with our girls who are now 15 and 12.
But now that reality has sunk in, and I am doing some heavy planning, I am starting to feel horrible about not bringing them.

We desperately need this vacation but I am afraid that once I get there I will be all depressed, feeling bad that the kids are at home not enjoying this.
Has anyone else been through this?

We have only been away from them overnight one other time in their lives. (a work related trip for 4 days)

They go all the time to their friends houses for overnights and sports etc. and that doesnt bother me, but the fact that we will be at DW.....Uggghhh.

Any suggestions? Encouragement?

 

[Frankiesmom]

We are in the same boat...maybe it's in the water up here! LOL. I too am having some issues leaving the kids particularlyour 4 yr. old-he's autistic. DH says everything will be fine. That we need time for us also. We always take the kids with us-everywhere. We leave on Thursday morning-we'll have to see how it goes. I hope everything is fine-my sister is staying with our kids-17,13,4,1.5 We have some things planned for them-to the movies,blockbuster,the park,and the 4 yr. old and the baby get to go to A Day Out With Thomas. He loves Thomas just as much as Mickey. We didn't tell him that's where we were going. Oh....I am praying all goes well! Angel

 

[Disney's Fab 4]

I can totally relate.... I posted a dilema like yours a few weeks ago.. It's still out there, you should take a peak.. It is called "Parents ~ Going solo?" I too have some guilt, I am looking forward to our trip, but I still do feel like I am cheating on my kids.... I mean, we just went there all as family this past October and I am sure we will go again in a year or two... My hubby and myself do need the vacation and I think we will have fun........ You will too! When are you going??? Should be getting nice and warm

 

[Momof626x3]

Same feelings of guilt here. DH and I are leaving in less than 4 weeks to celebrate our anniversary...without our boys. I was so excited, then I was overcome with guilt, then excited again, then guilty again. But then I started thinking, would I feel guilty if we were going ANYWHERE but Disney? And the answer is no. Disney is our favorite place, where we honeymooned, and it will be soooooo nice to spend time doing some grownup things there. We took our boys last year, and planning to take them again next year too. My 7 year old is a little upset that we are going but is also excited to be spending some time being spoiled by his grandparents.

 

[Kae]

almost every other trip to WDW for DH & I is without the kids. Now that they are getting older 9 & 6 It will more than likely be every 3rd trip. We just got back from DL. Do you miss them you betcha- Big time for me during Parades & in FantasyLand. I almost died when the real Tinker Bell was on a float at DL.

But there will also be times when you will just enjoy being with your "honey". as my DD would say. Go have a great time & do some of the thing you might not have done with the kids.

Kae

 

[Disney's Fab 4]

almost every other trip to WDW for DH & I is without the kids. Now that they are getting older 9 & 6 It will more than likely be every 3rd trip. We just got back from DL. Do you miss them you betcha- Big time for me during Parades & in FantasyLand. I almost died when the real Tinker Bell was on a float at DL.

But there will also be times when you will just enjoy being with your "honey". as my DD would say. Go have a great time & do some of the thing you might not have done with the kids.

Kae

I think your response is perfect. i especially like the bottom half about what your DD says... very sweet... I am worried about missing them when you see special things...

 

[Kae]

I would like to add that when you go somewhere without your kids, the best part is getting excited about seeing them when you get home. Our week goes like this get a little freaky about leaving them the week before & the day we leave. Really Miss them the first 1/2 day then it calms down & then the day before we come home I get all excited to see them again.

Kae

 

[*love*2*shop]

We are Going SOLO for the 1st time since kids too....Hubby 33 & I ( will turn 31 on Oct 29 WHILE in DISNEY-How great is that!)


We are going ALONE this October OVER HALLOWEEN from Oct 27-Nov 1 staying at Cornado Springs on the Dining Plan and the kids ( kyle will be 7, madison 5 and 2 puppies) will be cared for by my mom (in her EArly 50s and VERY able to care for them) she is Using *her* Vacation time, wow, SO that we can go and SHE is the One that Suggested it. She will be Staying at OUR house and taking the kids to school etc .BUT will the Kids end up in THERAPY if they dont go..NO lol, but it still bugs me a bit.....on the other hand the kids and us have been to DISNEY 3x this past YEAR so i think theyll be fine ( we JUST went to DISney World this JAN 2006, Disney CRuise Oct 2005 and Disney world March 2005) ..Ill miss them like crazy right away, and be ok, then ill be dying to get home..ill get Home and want to run away.. :rotfl2

 

[KarlaG4Kids]

A solo trip or trip with your honey can be a wonderful thing for parents. My kids are grown now and dh and I have lots of opportunities to go alone. Sometimes we opt to take grandkids with us too. We really do miss having our kids with us when we travel now. When our kids were growing up we did everything with and for them. A couple of times I got away and went alone with a sister-in-law to WDW. I had a great time. I missed the kids. I kept thinking "they would love this too". But I really appreciated them more when I returned home refreshed and happy to be a mom full time again. Mind you, I hardly ever was away from my kids, so when I did it was a bit refreshing to not have to worry about taking care of anybody but ME! Take your time, enjoy your hubby and return home relaxed and happy!

 

[ktink]

DH and I are hoping to get away to WDW next Feb for our anniversary. We have gone on a 4 day cruise several yrs ago and this past anniversary we went to Gatlinburg for a long weekend. We miss the kids and they come up in most of our conversations but the fact is that we need to spend time w/ each other and nuture our relationship. The kids to be honest enjoy going to their Nana's house and having full reign of the household. I'm sure your kids will all miss you as you will them but the world won't come to an end. Don't feel guilty. I'd hate for you to have such a wonderful opportunity and not enjoy yourselves to the fullest extent. Who knows when you'll be able to find a sitter to do this again? I hope you have a wonderful trip.

 

[fizz13]

Me and Dh are going this August for a week and I agree with another poster that it is the WDW aspect that bothers me, not leaving them behind. We have been on 3 vacations without them before ( I have wonderful inlaws) and been fine, although it is a killer to talk to them on the phone, really hurts, and I suppose I will compensate by buying out half of World of Disney, but I know I have waited a long time to have a proper honeymoon, to eat in nice places without taking out a screaming child, and to ride rides with my DH instead of babyswapping. We can go to the waterparks and ride away, we can get tipsy at Pleasure Island without having to go back to responsibility in a couple of hours, i will be able to really absorb the pavillions at World Showcase and for the first time ever I am getting a masssage at grand Floridian. Yes, when you put it like this, life without kids for a week could be great!
I think the only way to cure the guilts is to book another trip when you get back for the whole family
Claire xx

 

[Disney Debbie]

For our 20th anniversary DH and I went to Las Vegas w/o DD and she just couldn't believe we'd go on a major trip like that w/o her! (We'd been on short weekends but never a big get on a plane and go trip before) But I reminded her of all the great places she's gone with her grandparents and church and band w/o us! (Including England) Anyway - we had a great time and it DOES make a difference getting off that long w/o a kid/kids in tow. She's now 20 and last year we went on our first week long vacation w/o her (she went to Germany to see her boyfriend!) and it felt weird - but it was also really nice. Enjoy yourself and go home a happier and closer couple - which will make you a happier and closer family. You're doing nothing to feel guilty about - you are strengthening your marriage and that benefits the kids as well.

 

[Keeva]

Go and enjoy yourself,if the kids don't understand now they will later.Disney is like another place without the kids and you are building memories you can draw on later.Don't feel guilty,just go and enjoy your time together.

 

[disneydreamerinny]

Oh thankyou so much everyone for your responses. I feel ALOT better.
It's nice to know that other people out there can relate and have the same feelings.
You guys area all great.

 

[snowwite]

My DH and I both turned 40 last year and went to WDW to celebrate.My kids are from my first marriage so they go with thier dad every other weekend so we went on a weekend when they visited him. My DS was 12 and DD was 16.We have taken them every year for the past 7 years plus DD and I did super soap w/e for her 16th bday in lieu of a gift and party.DS is still grumbling about us going w/out him. It was not as much fun for me because I felt guilty the entire trip.If we had gone to Bahamas or anyplace else I would not have felt guilty but because we normally go together I felt bad.

 

[DizneyNutz]

It's time---let go and enjoy all the things you didn't when you had the kids with you! It'll be fun, you can do it---do something silly, get matching ears, be romantic, eat in places that make teenagers say "ugh" and LOVE EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF IT! God bless and good luck.