1st Communion

[PollyannaMom]

Spinoff of the other First Communion thread -

The other thread asked about sending a gift when you weren't invited. This one is a weeeeee bit more complicated. I know three children making their First Communion this year. They all know each other as well, so I figured I would give them the same (or similar) gifts. But...

1st one - we have been invited, probably can attend, but the invitation says "no gifts please".

2nd one - we have been invited, but probably cannot attend.

3rd one - we have not been invited (yet) but attended the older sibling's in the past, and did give a gift.

So, do I -

still give them all alike gifts, thereby ignoring the instructions on the first invite?

attend the "no gifts" one, don't attend 2nd one, and hope the 3rd only invites family...and not give gifts at all?

follow the "no gifts" instruction at the one I attend, give gifts to the one I am invited to but can't attend, and not cross the 3rd bridge until I come to it?


Yikes, it's even worse when I type it! - And it's such a happy occasion to be stressing about!

 

[mtemm]

I'd give them each $10 in a card. that way the parents can put it in the college fund if they really don't want gifts. I would likely call the mom first and give her a heads up, make sure it is okay to do that.

 

[Ceila]

Maybe you could ask the no-gift mom if there is a charity to which you could make a donation on her daughter's behalf. That way you are abiding by the no gift request but still honoring the young girl. You could then either give the other two girls gifts, or make donations in their names as well to charities that you think they might like (girls that age often love animals, so something along those lines might be a good option).

 

[Hannathy]

I would attend the ones you can. Give the gift you were going to to the 2 who didn't say no gifts and for the one that said no gifts then give no gift. It isn't your decision for no gifts. I would feel rather lousy also but they are the ones who said no gift and I believe in listening to what I was told.

If I wasn't attending or wasn't invited I'd drop the gift off a day or so early or send it if dropping wasn't an option.

 

[JessicaR]

When an invite requests no gifts,I respect their wishes. I do like the idea of donating to a charity in the childs name.

The other two I would give a similar gift.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Oooh, I like the idea of donating to a charity the same amount I spend on the other two. That way I won't upset the parents, but I'm still being "fair" in the kids' eyes. (And you're right on about animals at that age!)