Sorry, been out all morning.
Yes, it was a new bed. BIL, BIL's girlfriend and son, and FIL were over yesterday - we had dinner for father's day (no one pitched in any $$$). I talked to the girlfriend when we were alone. Here's what happened.
BIL, girlfriend, and FIL had gone to Florida for BIL's daughter's graduation party. They stayed at another BIL's house. FIL loved the bed he slept on. They came back home and FIL said, "I think I'll go on Thursday and get one of those beds". Girlfriend told BIL that "everyone" should pitch in and buy the bed for him for father's day. BIL called DH and the 2 other brothers and asked if we wanted to pitch in. DH said ok.
Bed was bought and delivered the next day (last Monday). BIL called DH on Wednesday or Thursday and told him our share is $175. I specifically asked DH if he agreed to "split the cost" or "pitch in" - he agreed to "pitch in" and had no idea how much it would cost. The cost was split between 4 brothers - $175 each. DH is also NOT happy about how the father's day gift went, but doesn't want to "create waves".
Just prior to all of this happening, BIL's daughter graduated. We were giving her money. BIL told us that he bought her a laptop and said that we could just give him some money and he'd put our name on the card. He SPECIFICALLY said "whatever you want to put in or you could just give money directly to her". We said ok and that we'd probably give $100 and our name was put on the card and she was given a laptop.
So, now we're up to yesterday.
I told the girlfriend that $175 was WAY more than we would have EVER spent. She said "oh? Well, FIL really liked the bed and it's a great gift." Ok, maybe it is, but again, $175 is a lot of money to us. She said "well, with everyone pitching in, we were able to give FIL something he really wanted". I VERY CLEARLY (because she obviously wasn't getting the point), but nicely, said "well, we won't be pitching in again for a gift unless we know upfront how much it will be."
So, we owed BIL $175 for the bed and another $100 for his daughter's graduation gift. Yes, $275!!!!!! I soooo wanted to give him $100 for daughter and $50 towards bed, but we figured that would cause problems, too. We gave him a check for $275!!!!!!
I posted earlier that today is our anniversary. I was hoping that FIL would give us $25/50 and DM would give us $100. Well, I just got the card from DM with $50 in it and FIL didn't give us anything (not even a card). I know he forgot last year so I figure that's what happened again. I'm thankful for my mom's gift, but we still in the hole $225.
Oh, FIL didn't even say "thanks for the bed". We asked BIL if our names were on the card - he said, yeah. I guess FIL forgot? I'm going to make DH call him today and ask how he likes the bed (hint hint).
By the way - we gave DH a hat for Father's Day (#1 DAD) with a card. I have no card for him for our anniversary and he doesn't have one for me. Obviously, we could afford cards, but we're trying to save for WDW and we're not spending any more on gifts!!!!!
I also found out last night that BIL and girlfriend bought her son an xbox 360 for his birthday next week. I can't help but feel like he's able to afford what he does because he lives RENT FREE with his dad. BIL lives in the basement apartment at his dad's place. I haven't had an issue with it in the past. Always felt "well, he doesn't have much money and he pays child support". But, right now, I'm a little ticked. He treated $175 like it was "nothing" AND they just bought a 360????? Sorry, getting way off topic.
This was a VERY expensive lesson learned. I'm dropping it out of respect for my DH, but I will NOT let this ever happen again.
