16 yo DS and a tough work situation

[DoeWDW]

My 16 yo DS just started his first real job. He's thrilled to be working at the local movie theater. However all the employees seem to be older teens who run with a more wild crowd and he feels like he doesn't fit in.

He talks about the other kids throwing brooms at each other and playing rough in front of paying customers. He says they all talk about their drinking exploits. According to him, none of them really have any desire to do more than the bare minimum required of them.

The management staff is very young also and most of them have been promoted up through the ranks. They sometimes join in this behavior or at least turn a blind eye to it.

DS was raised on Disney service. He knows that the customers come first and you don't rough-house in front of them. He's also a very conscientious kid and really wants to do an excellent job with any task he's given.

At this point he says he loves the work but hates his fellow employees and their bad attitudes. He wants to work there 6 months and then re-assess and possibly move on to another job.

Any words of advice to help him cope?? Anyone else face a similar situation? How did it turn out?

 

[grinningghost]

You make such a good point when you say "he was raised on Disney". I think that's something that only true Disney lovers would recognize. Just another good reason to take your kids to Disney when they're young, so they can learn a good work ethic - be the best you can be.

If he's really miserable, he should quit and find something better. He sounds very mature for 16. Best of luck to him.

 

[Microcell]

You should be so proud of your son! He sounds like he is on the right track! I worked with so many slimy people during my life and I decided to lead by example and no matter what the others were doing, I made customer service my top priority! I also came up with reasons not to go out with them after work (blaming mom works well). I would joke with them while there were no customers, but as soon as there were, I became serious.

I have listened to so many dramas (us girls have to deal with that too!) and just sympathized when needed, but I didn't let the drama get to me. I have also learned that in a minimum wage job as long as he gives two weeks notice, there won't be any hard feelings on the part of the manager. My Dh goes through people often and cannot remember all of them- he is a retail manager. I would start looking for a better fit right now, if the bad apples out number the good ones that is. The bad apples in a minority usually weed themselves out!

 

[WDSearcher]

This is probably a really good lesson on how to work with people you don't like. Because we ALL have those times when we have to work with people we don't like or with attitudes we don't respect. I'd write it off to that, and tell him to get what he can out of the job. If nothing else, he's already seen how he DOESN'T want to be as a working person. Some people don't learn that lesson until they're in their 30s!

It may just be the shifts he's on or the combination of people working that day. If there's someone on the crew who is less rowdy than the others, that's who your son should gravitate towards -- he needs to find an alliance with someone who is more like him in work attitude. You said he just started ... chances are he'll find other more mature workers there as he continues to work.

 

[missyc]

No advice, but we had a similar concern when my niece wanted to start looking for a job. She is in some ways very mature and responsible, but in others she's not. She's very innocent and hasn't been exposed to too much as far as the older teens (and the stuff they do ) goes.
I would look for a job where he won't be in with the young crowd quite as much. My niece just started volunteering at the hospital and will probably apply at Publix soon. They use a lot of young kids, but at least there are plenty of older adults too. Especially within managment.

 

[wovenwonder]

Unfortunately that is why my son [who will be 16 in January] is being discouraged from getting a job where other teens are allowed to run amuck. Colby would really like to get a job but it is not in the cards for him right now unless it is a place with mostly adults. I have a fear that my son would be one joining in on those antics and not setting a good example like your son is. Consider yourself fortunate Doreen!



PS -- if you get to the parade tonite -- stop by and say hello! I'd love to see you again.

 

[SC Minnie]

This is probably a really good lesson on how to work with people you don't like. Because we ALL have those times when we have to work with people we don't like or with attitudes we don't respect.

ITA

This is a life lesson for him. I worked in a movie theater in high school as well. It was a small one and we had our fun but we worked too. Some did more that others but that's life. I loved working there and wouldn't trade it for any other high school job.

Tell him to hang in there.

 

[vald1977]

Hi Doe,
Boy, it sounds like you are raising a very mature young man . He sounds a lot like me at that age (actually I STILL don't understand other people's behavior sometimes). If he really loves the job, I would encourage him to stick it out out for a while and see how it goes. If it gets to be too much for him, have him give his notice and find something else that's a better fit. Six months seems like a long time for him to try it out. I would say more like a month and then re-evaluate with him then.

I hope it all works out for the best .

 

[DoeWDW]

Thanks for all the words of wisdom! I truly appreciate it!

The only thing that worries me is that some of the kids have told him they are making it their job to corrupt him. They say lots of "good" kids started there and by the end, they were "drinkin' beer & smokin' weed"!

He told me this and rolled his eyes. He really doesn't have any interest in this kind of behavior. We've talked about avoiding any outside-of-work socializing and about staying far far away if anything is going on AT the theater.

My ace in the hole? We go to church with people who are part-owners of this place. I know I have to be careful about what I tell them - no hearsay, just the facts - but a well-placed word might work wonders, if it comes to that.

Again, thanks for the advice. Keep it comin'!!

 

[WDSearcher]

Originally posted by DoeWDW
The only thing that worries me is that some of the kids have told him they are making it their job to corrupt him. They say lots of "good" kids started there and by the end, they were "drinkin' beer & smokin' weed"!

Oh, those are just big words from kids who think they're far more powerful and influential than they are. No one can be "corrupted" against their will. If your son maintains his current position and beliefs, they won't be able to get him to follow their lead, no matter how hard they try. Although your son should be aware that the more he says "no", the harder they'll push. The best tactic, though, is to just say no, and leave it at that. Don't try to change them, don't try to justify your behavior. A simple, "I get why you guys do what you do and that's cool, I'm just not into that, sorry," doesn't condemn the other kids but also firmly states his opinion. The worst thing is to try and convince these kids that they're wrong, because that will just make it all worse. Silly kids.