16 year old not excited about going to DL...

[Lynzer Torte]

This will be our 7th trip to DL in 12 years. We usually stay 5 nights/6 days but this trip and the last were/are for 6 nights/7 days.

Our 16 year old son (he actually turns 16 on Jan 6th ), is not at all excited about going and would rather stay home. He says that he'll be excited about DL again when he has his own family to take.

This makes DH and I so sad! We love going and want everyone to be excited too. Our 14 year old loves DL but I'm sure after this trip he'll head down the same path as his older bro. I was hoping he'd be a little more excited since he has a baby brother who gets to experience it all for the second time (first to him, he won't remember going @ 10 mos!).


What can we do to help our 16 year old get excited for the trip? Perhaps if we sent him and his younger bro to that nearby outdoor mall for a day? Are there any other cool teenager friendly places that he can take the bus to?


I hate to pay so much money for a trip that someone doesn't even want to take but we're having a family reunion there so he has to go...

 

[DLR29]

Awww, that's too bad. You can tell him that THIS 16 year old is always excited to go to DL, so he should be too! Does he like sports? There's the ESPN Zone in Downtown Disney.

Or, you could let the two older boys go by themselves around DL for a little bit so that:
a) They get some freedom, away from the little one
b) You get some time away from them!

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I don't know if this would be an acceptable alternative to either you or your DS16, but perhaps he could stay with someone while the rest of the family goes on the trip?

If he's dead set against going and will be miserable during the trip, maybe he can stay with grandparents or a friend's family for the duration? He might be happier, and therefore so would you. Just a thought...

 

[jakoky]

hi there, i have 3 kids, and we are heading to DL in may...and my ds is the only one complaining...both my dds (13 and turning 18 on the trip) are so excited..my ds, who is 15, keeps saying he wants to go somewhere else, like mexico ...well, since it is a trip for his sisters 18th and her grad, he really doesnt have a choice, but like you, i wish i could make him "more into it"...he will turn 16 in july...i know once we are there, he will have a blast...it is just hard listening to him complain a little (he doesnt say too much, but it still bothers me)...on our last trip, my dh and ds went to an anaheim duck/vancouver canuck game and he loved it...we also did a trip to newport beach last year, and all 3 of my kids really enjoyed it...if you find any tricks, let me know, you are going before me...i am sure your son will have a great trip, sometimes i think our teenagers complain just to drive us crazy ...Have a great trip
sharon

 

[Gisele]

I am sorry to hear that. I would be more than happy to take his place. he he!
Anyway,perhaps if you happen to be watching a youtube video of his favorite rides and attractions, that will help with rekindling that fun Disney flame within him?
If it is necessary for him to go to the reunion, then perhaps the pp's suggestions would be a good alternative to visiting Dl. Maybe, your DS will have a change of heart by deciding that he would like to join you and the rest of the family for a visit at Dl. and or DCA.
16 is an interesting age.For one is not quite an adult yet, but yet is not a child anymore either, and still needs looking after to one degree or another. For there are a lot of creeps out there. Not meaning to sound like an alarmist or anything. Just concern.

 

[Hojoanaheim]

Our 16 year old son (he actually turns 16 on Jan 6th ), is not at all excited about going and would rather stay home. He says that he'll be excited about DL again when he has his own family to take.

What can we do to help our 16 year old get excited for the trip? Perhaps if we sent him and his younger bro to that nearby outdoor mall for a day? Are there any other cool teenager friendly places that he can take the bus to?

I hate to pay so much money for a trip that someone doesn't even want to take but we're having a family reunion there so he has to go...

Your son is so lucky to have a Mom that he feels like he can be so honest/open with!

Wanting to explore/assert your independence is a natural and healthy part of every adolescent's life! I remember when I was that age, and family vacations started changing from something that I looked forward to, to something that I started dreading. :\ It was hard for my parents to watch, and I cringe at myself when I think about the things that I said and the way that I behaved... but still, its a pretty common growing pain.

I think that you are doing everything that you can- you're being open and you're listening, and that is creating a safe environment for him to continue to feel like he can talk to you and tell you whats on his mind!

The only thing that I can think of that might help, is to arrange to have a cousin who is his same age, or a friend of his, join you on that day? It might add to the overall cost of the vacation- but allowing him to have some measure of autonomy in that way might help him to get a little more excited!

Good luck!
Lorealle

 

[Gisele]

Very well said, Lorealle.

 

[never2muchdisney]

As soon as he walks through the gates, the magic will hit him, and you'll all have a wonderful time! DL does that to everyone! You know the magic is there when the biggest guy in the park is dressed in cycle leather, straps, and chains, but is dancing down Mainstreet with his newly bought mouse ears on!

 

[Gisele]

Ah, I think that is cute.

 

[brekin67]

My 16 year old ruined our trip, he is now 24. We would go into the park and 20 minutes later he would have a terrible headache, stomach ache, diarrhea, something. He would whine and complain and want to go back to the room. We were so angry that he used his ticket for just a few minutes instead of just staying in the room. He has since told us that he loved Disneyworld, and was just getting away from us and going to other parks where we were not. Sneaky, but I am glad that he enjoyed all the trips.

 

[Plumeria9]

Is he in to cute girls? Just remind him that So. Cal. is host to a bevy of cute girls of all ages! Just another angle for you to try. At least he said that he would be excited to take his family, that's pretty cute.

 

[SueTGGR]

My DS's are now 18 & 21 & they went through this as well. Luckily, they were close enough in age that the 2 of them could take off on their own & I was ok with that. I agree with another post, is taking one of his friends something that could be done? Maybe approach the parent of a close buddy of his & ask if they would let their son go with you & maybe help with the cost or at least buy a pass for him online?
I remember being that age and going to "Family gatherings" & I was too young for one group & too old for the younger group of kids. I got stuck watching the younger group...I hated it! If he does have a relative that is close in age, maybe point it out. I remember going to DL at about that age with friends & we loved going to the stage in Tomorrowland to listen to music. It was a little cheezy but there were lots of other younger teenagers hanging out, too (the opposite sex especially).
As far as something close for him to go away from Disneyland, I don't think there really is.
BTW, they are now both asking why we don't take them with us anymore. And my oldest is in school down there & meets us with each of our trips. He even got a So Cal pass almost as soon as he moved down for school.
Good Luck and these times will pass!

 

[Grim_Grinning_Girl]

Is there a possibility he'd change his mind once being there? I feel there's plenty rides that are good for teenagers at DL, does he like thrill rides? If you trust him, maybe offer to give him and his younger brother some alone time together so they can explore on their own?

Or if he likes roller coasters, maybe offer to stop by Six Flags in Valencia or Knott's Berry farm. I don't know about waiting until he has his own family, kids are pretty unpredictable so he should take advantage of things while he still can. I don't have children, but I recently went to DL with a friend and her 5 year old, and this kid didn't want to ride anything! He felt everything was too scary and didn't even want to try things out. We tried to do a rider swap on the Roger Rabbit ride, we literally had to drag her son in while he cried and screamed out of fear. Fortunately while in line, there's an area where you can actually see the inside of the ride which helped convince him. He got off the ride saying it was so cool and awesome.

I say bring him along anyway, at least you'll have someone who can watch all your stuff while the rest of you go on rides.

 

[pixiewings71]

I would definitely see if you could swing taking a friend, I think that would be a great solution. Or the idea of sending him off with his younger brother, depending on how close they are right now. I do give my 2 girls a cell phone and let them go ride things like Star Tours and Space Mtn alone.....of course I'm usually right there at the Little Green Men store so it's easy to find them but I do know that they enjoy that little bit of freedom that I give them. I'm sure you DS would appreciate that as well.

 

[disney-super-mom]

Ahhhh, 16 year olds......well for them, life revolves around their friends, school, and social life. Spending time with family, and away from friends, is lame. (Not that they shouldn't spend time with family, and of course they will someday look back and remember time spent with their family fondly, but in the here and now (for a lot of teens) time with family and away from friends sucks. (Sorry, I don't usually use the word sucks. That's just a word I thought a "teen" would use. )

I would have him invite a friend to come along (if possible). It's always fun to have a buddy to hang with. That way there's a little of both going on.....time with family, but time with a friend too.

While there, let them have their teen time (away from the family), but have them spend portions of their time with your family too.

Ummmm, I was also thinking......there doesn't happen to be a girlfriend in his life, is there? One of those first-love relationships where even being apart for an hour is torture?!?! That could be another reason he's not excited to go.

 

[Mom of three]

What about having him take part in planning out the activities? Such as having him do the research and he could pick out a place for the family to dine and even let him make the arrangements?

Or simply just asking him what it is he would like to do.

 

[jasy]

Oh the joys of being 16 again...

Anyways I think a lot of the PP have given lots of good suggestions. I remember the trip my parents took us on when I was 16, I didn't want to go either, and I did everything possible to make everyone else miserable (needless to say it didn't work). I think the best thing to remember is it's partly just his age, he's 16, he doesn't want to be hanging out with his parents at Disney it's "uncool" (even though the rest of us may disagree). I am sure that once you're there he may lighten up, I like the idea of bringing a friend along if you can swing it. Or since you say it's a family reunion does he have any relatives that are around his age he can hang around the park with, away from the rest of the family. Are you going to allow him to go and do some things with a friend away from the rest of the group, I can see not wanting to be stuck with your family the entire trip.

I remember when we were there (when I was 16) I would walk either 20 ft in front or behind my family because I was sooooo embarassed of them, now they joke and say they only did it cause they didn't want to be seen with the punk rock girl with blue and green hair

Either way remember he will grow out of it and try to not let it ruin the rest of the families vacation, if you do you're really just giving a sullen 16 year old what they want :wink:

 

[Lynzer Torte]

Thank you so much for the kind words/advice so far!

Awww, that's too bad. You can tell him that THIS 16 year old is always excited to go to DL, so he should be too! Does he like sports? There's the ESPN Zone in Downtown Disney.

Or, you could let the two older boys go by themselves around DL for a little bit so that:
a) They get some freedom, away from the little one
b) You get some time away from them!

Last year they spent roughly half of our trip away from us either in the parks, Downtown Disney or in the room.

I don't know if this would be an acceptable alternative to either you or your DS16, but perhaps he could stay with someone while the rest of the family goes on the trip?

If he's dead set against going and will be miserable during the trip, maybe he can stay with grandparents or a friend's family for the duration? He might be happier, and therefore so would you. Just a thought...

We're having a family reunion, he has to come. If he didn't come, our 14 year old would be heartbroken.

16 is an interesting age.For one is not quite an adult yet, but yet is not a child anymore either, and still needs looking after to one degree or another. For there are a lot of creeps out there. Not meaning to sound like an alarmist or anything. Just concern.

Believe me, I know! DH is a Mental Health Therapist whose main clientele is sex offenders.

Your son is so lucky to have a Mom that he feels like he can be so honest/open with!

Wanting to explore/assert your independence is a natural and healthy part of every adolescent's life! I remember when I was that age, and family vacations started changing from something that I looked forward to, to something that I started dreading. :\ It was hard for my parents to watch, and I cringe at myself when I think about the things that I said and the way that I behaved... but still, its a pretty common growing pain.

I think that you are doing everything that you can- you're being open and you're listening, and that is creating a safe environment for him to continue to feel like he can talk to you and tell you whats on his mind!

The only thing that I can think of that might help, is to arrange to have a cousin who is his same age, or a friend of his, join you on that day? It might add to the overall cost of the vacation- but allowing him to have some measure of autonomy in that way might help him to get a little more excited!

Good luck!
Lorealle

Thank you for your kind words!
I don't think bringing a friend is in the realm of possibilites as we are flying in from Oregon, taking time off from school and staying at the DLH. I'd feel that would be way too much to ask, expense wise and time wise.

Ummmm, I was also thinking......there doesn't happen to be a girlfriend in his life, is there? One of those first-love relationships where even being apart for an hour is torture?!?! That could be another reason he's not excited to go.

No, thank goodness! He had one last year when we went and it was horrible! We thought that was the reason he didn't want to go but now that she's out of the picture, we see she was only 1 of the reasons...

 

[Krissy Marissy]

Are you sure he's not going to have a good time? I know that my sister was sometimes like that but once we got there she was fine and had a lot of fun. Was always thankful we "made" her go along.

 

[disney-super-mom]

Well, coming from a guy (my hubby), this is his advice. He would tell him, "Suck it up buddy. You'll live."

Okay then. That was short.....and to the point.