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[disykat]

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Considering this is a new school, I don't think it's "overreacting" on the parents part to request clarification from the principal concerning the guidelines.. Even if the teacher had returned their calls, he doesn't set the guidelines for the school.. Their good/touch bad/touch program is really of no use if the kids are being sent mixed messages.. That's where everything becomes muddled.. They have no intentions of taking it to the "school board" - they simply need some clarification..

I didn't mean to offend you or make accusations. I simply advocate going to the teacher first before going up the chain of command.

 

[sajetto]

I didn't mean to offend you or make accusations. I simply advocate going to the teacher first before going up the chain of command.

I COMPLETELY agree. Unless your GD reported being sexually assaulted or appeared uncomfortable, the teacher really deserves to know that the parents have a problem and the opportunity to extend his apology without causing feelings of bitterness and resentment toward the parents because they couldn't handle their issues with his practice with HIM. Like it or not, it could leave a bad taste in his mouth for the REST of the school year if he isn't given this chance and it could effect all interactions with the parents and maybe even the poor GD.

 

[C.Ann]

C.Ann I'm really curious to know where your GD's school is. (what state? suburban, urban, or rural?)

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New York - suburbs - and the school district has an excellent reputation (one of the reasons DD and her DH chose that particular area)..

 

[sajetto]

That says A LOT. I'm really suprised that the teacher carried out that "tradition" considering the type of area you are in. I'm sure your SIL was horrified and I completely understand his feelings and he has every right to them. As a parent his job is to protect his child, I'd just see if he could take this up with the teacher. I'm actually curious about where this teacher is from now because I've never heard of a northern school doing the whole birthday "spanking" ritual

 

[C.Ann]

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[C.Ann]

I've never heard of a northern school doing the whole birthday "spanking" ritual

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None of us either - that's why it seemed so out of the ordinary..

 

[CEDmom]

That says A LOT. I'm really suprised that the teacher carried out that "tradition" considering the type of area you are in. I'm sure your SIL was horrified and I completely understand his feelings and he has every right to them. As a parent his job is to protect his child, I'd just see if he could take this up with the teacher. I'm actually curious about where this teacher is from now because I've never heard of a northern school doing the whole birthday "spanking" ritual

I don't see what being in a suburban NY school has to do with it. I never thought of this as a regional thing. I've lived in the NE my whole life and I know many teachers who've done this. Granted, most don't still do it or they use a floopy paddle of something. I think bare handed on a child's bottom isn't smart career wise for any teacher whether male or female.

I didn't see the part where the parents tried to contact the teacher and he didn't reply. I think in that situation the next step would be the principal. I just read so many posts on here about parents who go directly to the principal or even the superintenant for every matter it gets crazy after awhile.

 

[sajetto]

Its all about perception. I perceive things in a suburban NY town to be different that a rural farming town where practically EVERYONE knows each other. If you know who the teacher or his family is, you'd probably get a big laugh out of them giving a birthday spaking to your child, in a suburban town where everyone does not know each other I'm sure it would be different.

 

[CEDmom]

Its all about perception. I perceive things in a suburban NY town to be different that a rural farming town where practically EVERYONE knows each other. If you know who the teacher or his family is, you'd probably get a big laugh out of them giving a birthday spaking to your child, in a suburban town where everyone does not know each other I'm sure it would be different.

I understand what you're saying. I was just pointing out that I grew up and still live in a NJ suburb and know about this custom.

 

[Becky2005]

Here's my 2 cents on it. You would have to think by now you know you can't do anything like that anymore.

When I was growing up, it was completely normal/common to have birthday spankings even in school. We had one class where I remember it was the "spanking machine" where all the kids lined up on 2 sides and the birthday child (boy & girl -- didn't matter the sex) would basically run the middle of the linethrough while the other kids "spanked" them. It was done lightly and in fun.

I can't imagine in a million years that even being remotely a possibility nowadays.

I'm just wondering how long the teacher has been teaching if it's been a long time, he probably didn't think twice about it (even though in this day & age he should have). I know I'm completely paranoid as a parent to even send something as simple as chapstick to school now afraid it will be confiscated as medicine. My DD wanted to bring her ice skates to school in Kindergarten for show & tell -- I cleared it with the teacher to make sure it wouldn't be considered a weapon -- they do have sharp blades.

I don't think I would make a case out of it so that he ends up losing his job, as long as it was in front of everyone, it's what he had done normally for all birthday kids, etc... He will have been informed and now will have to stop doing the practice.

 

[C.Ann]

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[sajetto]

Best of luck that everything goes smoothly. I really don't think this teacher should do this ritual anymore and I think he just made a poor judgement call. I'm sure all of this will be cleared up and maybe even laughed off as a misunderstanding. No need for your GD to miss out on a perfectly good school, for a little bump.

 

[disykat]

I didn't see the part where the parents tried to contact the teacher and he didn't reply. I think in that situation the next step would be the principal. I just read so many posts on here about parents who go directly to the principal or even the superintenant for every matter it gets crazy after awhile.

Same here! I've also seen it as a teacher. The worst was two different incidents in the 1st grade at my school where a parent called the newspaper first. The teacher didn't hear about it until after the superintendant of schools was called for a comment.

 

[C.Ann]

No need for your GD to miss out on a perfectly good school, for a little bump.

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Absolutely!! We thought her prior school couldn't be beat (very, very child oriented and lots and lots of things for the parents and grandparents to be involved in) but amazingly, this one seems to be even better!!!!

My DD and her family will be arriving up here at the lake late this evening and I can't wait to hear how everything turned out..

 

[C.Ann]

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[C.Ann]

..............

 

[Serena]

Wonderful! I like how this turned out for everyone.

 

[JadenLayne]

I'm so glad this turned out okay! We live in a small Southern town with only 200 students in our school (K4-12th). I can def. see some of our male teachers doing this to our teenage boys in fun. It just walks that fine line of how well you know people I guess. I can see the concern where you don't know the person.

 

[momof2inPA]

I'm glad it all worked out C. Ann, but I'll be watching for that teacher on Dateline. Did you know the most common profession of child predators caught on that program is teacher?

 

[C.Ann]

I'm glad it all worked out C. Ann, but I'll be watching for that teacher on Dateline. Did you know the most common profession of child predators caught on that program is teacher?

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