You won't believe what I saw at the food bank!

[MinnieLovesMickey12]

But why does that bug you so much? We've had cellphones as our only phone since '02, way before we could truly afford them, and it's because our landline service was costing stupid amounts of money, was always being charged erroneously, and wasn't helpful when away from the home (obviously). Nowadays it's how many people have internet, which is helpful in many ways, even to those without enough money.


But hey, I grew up in a home where the dad left and almost never paid child support, it was just my mom working her fingers to the bone to help us, and she did her best. She did go on food stamps (I don't remember if there were food banks then, or in our area) and some form of welfare. And she did smoke because she was *addicted*, it was an addiction that started when she was 15, she was able to quit during her pregnancies but then she went back to it, and despite many tries she was never successful in quitting until she was 35 (and I was 10 and we had been off food stamps for a few years) and nearly died of an asthma attack. So she had groceries and cigarettes on the belt. She also had dog food. Because she had two big sled dogs from earlier in her life, and she wasn't willing to give them away or kill them during our personal economic downturn. She also wasn't working; figured that staying home with us for a couple years was good for us (she made a good decision there).

Whenever I read judgment of people who are getting aid of some kind, I think of us, and how absolutely bonafide my mom's reasons were for getting assistance, and I think "that person judging would have thought that the family I grew up in was doing something wrong", even though my mom was doing the absolute best she could, trying to make up for the decisions she made as a teen (smoking at 15, marrying at 17).

Not to make light of the situation you grew up in but a situation where an able bodied adult CHOOSES to stay at home and not work for a few years when they are perfectly capable of it but choose to let tax payers foot the bill for their life all the while continuing to buy cigarettes is not what I would call doing the best you can.

This is why we have such a system of abuse and ppl using welfare as a lifestyle choice instead of a hand up. If you are capable of working, and you don't work, and take government assistance, you are part of the very big problem.

 

[lauradis]

The local food bank gets my support and more important my time once a month.

I have seen people that live near me come in no questions asked to receive couple bags of the basics.

I have also seen over the years very long term lifer welfare scamers.

Seen people throw rice and beans and cans in the trash after leaving pick up area. (ugh)

I personally turned people away with kids, its hard and heart breaking.

People come from all income levels.

from no car to hummer.

Its not my job to judge them while im working there, its my job to pack bags, hand out bags or make them fill out little info we do collect.

smile, be pleasant, hope that im helping to feed child that i was.

food banks aren't snap or welfare its true charity at grassroots level if run by true local group.

 

[buzz5985]

Lost my post.

 

[Swimalie]

My 8 year old cub scout and I spent 2 hours distributing bags around my neighborhood for Scouting for Food. Next week we will go back and pick up the donations. I hope we have a lot. One elderly man handed us a full bag yesterday as we walked around. It was full of candy, which we can't turn in. So tomorrow I'm taking it to the local dentist to get $1 per pound and with the money, I will buy more food for donation.

I'm proud of my son for doing the program yesterday as he has never "wanted" for food and doesn't know what it's like. Love the original message on this post. Thank you.

 

[Megkel]

I grew up in a family of 7 where only one parent worked. My Dad worked his fingers to the bone to provide everything he could for us. We never used PA. I can remember every holiday season he would put in as much overtime as possible. My mom clipped coupons, we never ate out, and we only had as much as we could afford. We didn't do family vacations, wore designer clothes, even have cable. I'm sure my family could have qualified for PA but my parents had enough pride and sense not to go beyond their means.

I fully support PA for those who need. I can understand needing a little help getting over the hump. It takes a lot of self discipline and effort to make it on barely enough. I wish I did help out more but I cannot cannot stand people taking advantage of me. I try to help out wherever I can but I have seen many times over people taking advantage of the system. People who have more than I had growing up yet still looking for help. I wish more was done to protect the system from people taking advantage. I think more people would be happy and willing to help out if there were less instances of people scamming the system. I don't think anyone would allow someone they know honestly needs help starve or be without.

 

[AJ1983]

Your view is better than mine, it sounds like the individuals at your area food bank need the help.

I drive by a bus stop that is located in front of the food bank in my city. I drive by every weekday. I see adults in their 20s, and 30s who have their food bank bags on the floor of the bus shelter because they are always texting on their phone with one hand and have a cigarette in the other.

I live in Canada where cell phone service ($150 a month minimum) and cigarettes ($90 a carton) are very expensive.

I believe the people who really need the help often don't get the food and the others are using the local food bank to allow them spending money for their vices.

Last year on the news there was video of families lined up for their turkey and toy basket for Christmas. I noticed as did my coworkers that everyone in the shot had a phone in their hand.

I live in Canada too, and in my job many of the clients are in receipt of social assistance.Yet they all have Iphones (not just a pay as you go, cheap phone for emergencies/job searching, but a better one than me!), top notch clothes, and in some cases, better vehicles. Disgusting.

 

[Fierce Fairy]

Thank you, OP, for the reminder! When I first saw the title of the thread, I felt my blood pressure begin to rise...as a social worker, I see people who are struggling on a daily basis. And while there may be some abuse, I can honestly say that my twenty-plus years of experience in the field tells me that it is few and far between.

I too saw the title and my eyes turned red. So glad I read the whole thing. I normally don't get involved in these postings because there are so many people that are so judgmental(I guess it makes them feel better about their situation). I volunteer with several organization and see true need all the time. I would never begrudge bread for a needy family because one day I saw ONE idiot doing something wrong with the assistance.
For those who see folks on assistance with cell phones and are pissed, you are behind the times. In today's world you NEED a phone to get a call from a job or your kids school. Cell phones are just cheaper and more accessible than a stationary house phone.
The bottom line. Leave all your preconceived notions about those needing assistance out of this. And if you are blessed to give PLEASE do.

 

[Viva Las Disney]

I always get a kick out of these threads because both sides are right, there are very needy people and there are also people gaming the system.

A few years ago I volunteered with a friend whose church (Dream Center of Las Vegas) has a huge Thanksgiving festival in one the poorest parts of Las Vegas, to this day it ranks as one of the best and worst days of my life. It was an amazing experience because there were barbers, they set up portable shower tents, there were several semi trailers of donated clothes, health products, toys, and school supplies, there is a street carnival with bounce houses and little kid rides, tons of bagged food, and then there is a huge outdoor thanksgiving dinner. Lots of smiles and lots of tears of joy. It was a terrible experience because I wasn't prepared for just how bad off many of the people who came were. There were people who didn't have shoes or whose shoes were full of holes, there were people who hadn't had a shower in weeks, there were little kids with clothes that were filthy and torn, there were people who hadn't had a hair cut in years. These are people who truly need help.

On the other hand I've also seen my share of fraud, or at least what appears to be blatant fraud. The most memorable for me was standing behind a lady with an overflowing cart of food at the grocery store who paid with an EBT card, I know she used an EBT card because it was a couple hundred dollars worth of food and whatever didn't qualify got set aside so she could pay cash for it, in the parking lot I saw her loading all that food into a new Escalade, I have a pretty nice car but loading my groceries, that I work my butt off for, into my 6 year old $25k (when new) car while she loaded up her "free groceries" into her new $70k luxury SUV made me want to scream. These are the people that ruin it for the truly needy.

 

[Gracie09]

I just wanted to add that sometimes appearances aren't what they seem. We are a foster family. When we have infants we take wic or other public assistance for the child mainly because formula is expensive! Once they are on table food, we drop it because you have to go to monthly visits with the wic office where they lecture you with outdated medical information. It's a waste of time and at that point the amt of money spent On the kids food is small. So you may see me in line paying for some stuff with public assistance, some with my debit card and yes I drive a nice, relatively new cross over and wear nice but not designer clothes, but it doesn't make me a deadbeat. I've even purchased steak and store made baked goods. One of the other mothers in my area was followed to her car a harassed about taking money she didn't deserve etc because like me she paid part pa and part cash and had a nice car and the person who followed her didn't like that.

 

[HeatherC]

I have to say that I agree totally with both sides. The abuse is absolutely disgusting to me and makes me furious. Furious because those losers abusing the system wreck it for those who truly need the help.

With that in mind, I will still donate because even if my donation helps one family in need it is more than worth it. As for those who abuse the system? Well I also believe what goes around, comes around. They will get theirs in the end.

So donate! Even if you help one other person, it is so important!!!

 

[pocomom]

I always get a kick out of these threads because both sides are right, there are very needy people and there are also people gaming the system.

A few years ago I volunteered with a friend whose church (Dream Center of Las Vegas) has a huge Thanksgiving festival in one the poorest parts of Las Vegas, to this day it ranks as one of the best and worst days of my life. It was an amazing experience because there were barbers, they set up portable shower tents, there were several semi trailers of donated clothes, health products, toys, and school supplies, there is a street carnival with bounce houses and little kid rides, tons of bagged food, and then there is a huge outdoor thanksgiving dinner. Lots of smiles and lots of tears of joy. It was a terrible experience because I wasn't prepared for just how bad off many of the people who came were. There were people who didn't have shoes or whose shoes were full of holes, there were people who hadn't had a shower in weeks, there were little kids with clothes that were filthy and torn, there were people who hadn't had a hair cut in years. These are people who truly need help.

On the other hand I've also seen my share of fraud, or at least what appears to be blatant fraud. The most memorable for me was standing behind a lady with an overflowing cart of food at the grocery store who paid with an EBT card, I know she used an EBT card because it was a couple hundred dollars worth of food and whatever didn't qualify got set aside so she could pay cash for it, in the parking lot I saw her loading all that food into a new Escalade, I have a pretty nice car but loading my groceries, that I work my butt off for, into my 6 year old $25k (when new) car while she loaded up her "free groceries" into her new $70k luxury SUV made me want to scream. These are the people that ruin it for the truly needy.

See but that was the point - yes the car could have been hers but you don't know- if people judged my friend and neighbor yesterday on what they saw, they would have seen a married lady with six kids hop out of a new higher end mini-van. Even further looking and you would know her husband hadn't worked in years. His injuries are mostly in the lower half of his body (and ptsd) and not completely obvious- it would be easy to think he is some lazy deadbeat not a man who risked it all for his country.
Back when I was a single mom there were a few months I had my parent's Mercedes. They didn't want me driving in an unreliable car and I needed to wait a few more months to get something. My kids still had the designer clothes grandma bought for them, and my oldest who was only 5 at the time had a cell phone so she could contact me if her dad didn't show up to pick her up etc. (which happened) and I had one because my youngest had health problems and I needed to have a phone on me at all times. I didn't use government assistance or the food bank, and I worked my a** off, but our shelves were still bare and things were really tough. Many nights I didn't eat because I was worried that my girls wouldn't have something the next day if I did. I can't imagine how I would have been judged had I gone to the food bank, in a Mercedes with my well dressed children and cell phones. But there is no doubt that I could have used the help.
Funny thing is those that look the best at first glance may be in just the type of intermittent trouble that a lot of programs were meant to help you through.

 

[dancin Disney style]

Your view is better than mine, it sounds like the individuals at your area food bank need the help.

I drive by a bus stop that is located in front of the food bank in my city. I drive by every weekday. I see adults in their 20s, and 30s who have their food bank bags on the floor of the bus shelter because they are always texting on their phone with one hand and have a cigarette in the other.

I live in Canada where cell phone service ($150 a month minimum) and cigarettes ($90 a carton) are very expensive.

I believe the people who really need the help often don't get the food and the others are using the local food bank to allow them spending money for their vices.

Last year on the news there was video of families lined up for their turkey and toy basket for Christmas. I noticed as did my coworkers that everyone in the shot had a phone in their hand.

Where exactly do you live in Canada where you're paying $150/mth in cell phone bills?? I'm in Ontario, and I have an iPhone through Bell and pay $40/mth. It's my only phone as I was paying $35 for my landline! I don't think having a cell phone is indicative of not needing assistance. Now, the ones who come into my government office to pick up their monthly cheques, wearing designer jeans, shoes, etc and carrying Coach bags...maybe.

Ya, I agree with alc571. I also live in Ontario and middle of the road service is $40-$50/month. I have a prepaid and it only costs me $12.50/month.

 

[Colleen27]

See but that was the point - yes the car could have been hers but you don't know- if people judged my friend and neighbor yesterday on what they saw, they would have seen a married lady with six kids hop out of a new higher end mini-van. Even further looking and you would know her husband hadn't worked in years. His injuries are mostly in the lower half of his body (and ptsd) and not completely obvious- it would be easy to think he is some lazy deadbeat not a man who risked it all for his country.
Back when I was a single mom there were a few months I had my parent's Mercedes. They didn't want me driving in an unreliable car and I needed to wait a few more months to get something. My kids still had the designer clothes grandma bought for them, and my oldest who was only 5 at the time had a cell phone so she could contact me if her dad didn't show up to pick her up etc. (which happened) and I had one because my youngest had health problems and I needed to have a phone on me at all times. I didn't use government assistance or the food bank, and I worked my a** off, but our shelves were still bare and things were really tough. Many nights I didn't eat because I was worried that my girls wouldn't have something the next day if I did. I can't imagine how I would have been judged had I gone to the food bank, in a Mercedes with my well dressed children and cell phones. But there is no doubt that I could have used the help.
Funny thing is those that look the best at first glance may be in just the type of intermittent trouble that a lot of programs were meant to help you through.

Exactly. I think people forget that there is a lot of short-term use of social programs, and if recipients in that group often have nice things because they were - until a layoff or injury or divorce - a "normal" middle class family. And often there is family behind the scenes offering support. One of the poorest families I've ever known has very well dressed kids, not designer or really high-end but decked in middle class brands like Gymboree, Gap, etc. Why? Because they have a grandmother who remembers her own children being bullied at school over their thrift shop finds and hand-me-downs, and who buys school clothes for the whole family so that her grandkids don't experience the same. Most everything is second-hand, but you wouldn't know that to see them in the grocery store.

I think in most cases, the outrage against those who don't look poor enough is misplaced. In my experience those are the families that were middle class and are busting their ***** to get back to middle class. The families that most upset me are those who totally look the part - the woman with 5 kids by 3 fathers none of whom pay support, the family with an alcoholic breadwinner who can't hold a job, and others who are more or less resigned to always being poor and needing assistance. To me that's much more troubling that someone who didn't pawn their iPhone or hit Goodwill for a "poor" wardrobe when they needed assistance with a temporary financial situation.

 

[aprilgail2]

So she had groceries and cigarettes on the belt. She also had dog food. Because she had two big sled dogs from earlier in her life, and she wasn't willing to give them away or kill them during our personal economic downturn. She also wasn't working; figured that staying home with us for a couple years was good for us (she made a good decision there).

OK- now staying home with the kids for a few years is a fine thing but not if you are on public assistance to do it! I know plenty of people who would love to stay home with their kids but know that they can't do it financially. I don't think expecting the taxpayers to pay for you to stay home with your kids is a "good decision"! When I got pregnant (I was single and it was planned) people asked me if I was going to keep working- I just looked at them like they were nuts and I said "well its work or welfare so there is no decision there!" There is no way I would take any kind of public assistance to stay at home with a child!

 

[angierae]

Keep in mind that foster parents get food stamps on EBT. that woman in the Escalade could have opened her home to kids with no where else to go, and she has every right to both the food stamps and her Escalade.

 

[Viva Las Disney]

See but that was the point - yes the car could have been hers but you don't know-

Keep in mind that foster parents get food stamps on EBT. that woman in the Escalade could have opened her home to kids with no where else to go, and she has every right to both the food stamps and her Escalade.

Good points, I was so frustrated with the whole situation it hadn't even dawned on me it might not be her car or those groceries may be for another reason like foster kids. It's just hard not to judge with all the waste we see everyday in business and government.

 

[Marymom]

I volunteer at a local food pantry. Yes, most of the people you see have cell phones. If they qualify for food stamps, they qualify for a free pre-paid cell phone. If the government wanted to give me a pre-paid phone, I wouldn't turn it down either.

 

[Jedana]

DH is taking his Cub den up to the local food bank next Saturday. They are filling bags for the clients to pick up. They are also sorting items, doing some basic cleaning (wiping down shelves, etc), and learning that giving is not only about money, but about time and effort as well.

 

[Jedana]

Last year on the news there was video of families lined up for their turkey and toy basket for Christmas. I noticed as did my coworkers that everyone in the shot had a phone in their hand.

They do a toy thing every year here in Jacksonville. No financial qualifications, just show up--with the kids--and pick up your toys. It's always a mob scene and people go through multiple times.

When I was out of work, and the only work DH could find was contract stuff, we seriously thought about going to it. The company that DH was contracting through came through for us though; they adopt a family every year and get presents/holiday meal/etc for the family...and that year they picked us, since they knew otherwise there was nothing under the tree. So grateful for them still.

 

[TravelMommy]

No one really knows anyone else's situation. I do not judge. I highly agree with helping others in any way you can!