we booked out of islip too because of the airfare savings-we saved over $1000+ for our april break flights & we got nonstops at civil times. we live in danbury, ct & usually fly out of bradley too. We have an 11:15 am flight on a Friday.
We did a dry run to see if there was any construction going down, see the airport & how everything was set up. It took us 1 hr. 45 min with moderate to heavy traffic & construction on the Throggs Neck Bridge. So we figure we will budget 2 hours to get there. Leave at 7am to get there by 9am- 2 hours ahead of our flight. If it takes a little longer, we'll still be ok. The airport is really nice, much smaller than Bradley & very easy to navigate. The long term parking is 11.50 a day & not that far, even without a shuttle. The short term parking is 12.50 a day & is a little closer to the terminal. Curbside checkin is available, but all members of your party must show id to check bags. If your husband drops you off & parks the car, he will need to come back to check his bags. Security lines looked liked they moved very smoothly.
To calm your fears why don't you do a weekend excursion/dry run on the ferry with your family before the trip. It could be fun. Visit Port. Jeff on the way home. It's an adorable little town. You can get a sense of where you are going, the roads will be familiar & you can get a general idea of timing. The Friday afternoon ferrys are almost as busy as the weekend ones. Yes, it will cost you a ferry trip back & forth, but with the money you are saving on air & the peace of mind you'll get knowing where you are going may be well worth it!
Good luck!