WWYD Drinking while driving.

[Pea-n-Me]

My biggest concern would be that he didn't see a problem with it and I'd never know when it would rear it's ugly head again, therefore I wouldn't feel comfortable driving with this person anymore. I don't drive when I drink and I don't get into a car with someone who's been drinking. Pure and simple.

ETA and I don't think this is about "one beer". The thing is that the passenger here is sort of stuck in the car with this person and has no control over when or how much the driver drinks. Today it's one beer, tomorrow it could be two or three. And as pp's pointed out, who knows if there was a liquid lunch or other alcohol consumed before getting in the car, etc. I agree if the driver can't wait till he gets home, in this situation, he likely has a drinking problem, IMO.


ETA

MA Open Container Law

It's illegal to operate a motor vehicle with an open container of alcohol anywhere in the vehicle, no matter who's holding it. This means you can't drive with an empty liquor bottle in your backseat, nor have a passenger drinking a can of beer.

Break this law and you face a $100 - $500 fine.

 

[tvguy]

I woudn't be car pooling any longer - I do think (and I may be wrong) that everyone in a vehicle can be charged with driving with an open container.

Short answer, anything that would make me uncomfortable would be enough reason to discontinue the car pool.

Texas, Louisiana and Florida have drive through bars, so I don't see a need to get into the legality. Too many loopholes.

 

[luvsJack]

While I have an issue with any kind of drinking and driving, I have to say that the pp who mentioned a drink with dinner made me think. How many of you that would be up in arms, will have a glass of wine with your spouse at dinner? One of you must be driving home. Its really not any different.

One beer isn't going to impair his driving, honestly. It just freaks me out, personally, due to losing a family member to a drunk driving accident. But I guess if I was in the situation I would need to think "is this realistically causing harm?"

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

While I don't think one drink is going to impair most drivers. There is a difference between drinking a beer after work on an empty stomach and a drink while eating dinner.

While I have an issue with any kind of drinking and driving, I have to say that the pp who mentioned a drink with dinner made me think. How many of you that would be up in arms, will have a glass of wine with your spouse at dinner? One of you must be driving home. Its really not any different.

One beer isn't going to impair his driving, honestly. It just freaks me out, personally, due to losing a family member to a drunk driving accident. But I guess if I was in the situation I would need to think "is this realistically causing harm?"

 

[3Gsandme]

3Gsandme I'm afraid for your kids. How do you know this man or anyone drinking 'just one beer' isn't on prescription drugs where drinking even 'just one beer' could cause dire consequences. I have no tolerance for drinking and driving. Guess we are all different but to have the idea that just one beer won't hurt is stupid. You might feel fine driving with that person, but what about all the others on the road when that person is driving. And how do you know he didn't chug one when you were around.

I was hit by a drunk driver right after I had my first child. Thankfully it was just a minor fender bender. I was leaving a parking lot, she was pulling in and hit me. She had been at the pool all day and was drinking. She wanted to leave right away and I kept yelling until someone stopped her. We were about 2 blocks from both our houses and thing is I was turning around as it started pouring down rain (I was going to watch my husband play baseball). The parking lot I was turning around in was a LIQUOR STORE. The girl told the police to do a breath test on me, I said go ahead I'm nursing a 2 week old. He didn't and knew she was out of it. I am just thankful nobody was hurt and my son was not in the car. This was about 430 in the afternoon too.

JMHO I would get out ASAP, but we are all of different views here.

On the laws my friend's son was under 21 and a passenger in the backseat of a car. The 21 year old driver had stopped at the liquor store and purchased alcohol and put it in the trunk. The police had watched and pulled them over. The underage passenger in front and my friends son got in trouble (I mean reported to the college type trouble) for being in the car with alcohol, even though it was in the locked trunk. The driver got in trouble for having alcohol and minors.

Did you actually read my post? I said, one beer isn't going to impair anyone (it won't) but that I had greater concerns about his drinking if he couldn't wait to get home to have the beer and that I wouldn't ride with him anymore.

I'm not calling the cops on him ("He drank one beer! And drove, officer!").

So, why are you afraid for my kids? Because I didn't go into hysterics over a beer?

 

[3Gsandme]

While I don't think one drink is going to impair most drivers. There is a difference between drinking a beer after work on an empty stomach and a drink while eating dinner.

Which assumes he didn't have something to eat. You don't know.

 

[sam_gordon]

I wouldn't worry about a single drink at dinner (assuming I knew the person and their tolerance for alcohol well) but a single drink while driving is a no-go IMO. Someone who would totally disregard the rules for open container, would most likely be the type to disregard all the other rules and would have a 3 martini lunch or drive while on narcotics. While there are a small amount of places that don't have open container laws, my state is not one of them and you will listen to them or we will not being driving together.

What about someone who goes over the speed limit? Let's say by 7-10mph (normal most anywhere). That's "totally disregarding the rules". Does that mean they'll disregard all other rules?

 

[CPanther95]

I love all the hypotheticals. (What if he downed 3 martinis at lunch - or was doing drugs???)

How about these:
What if he decides to drive off a bridge?
What if he closes his eyes while making a high speed turn?
What if he drank a beer and then planted a bomb under the truck that will explode if they drop below 50 mph?

... "You clearly don't love your kids as much as I do if you don't check under all vehicles for explosive devices before getting in."

 

[NHdisneylover]

While I have an issue with any kind of drinking and driving, I have to say that the pp who mentioned a drink with dinner made me think. How many of you that would be up in arms, will have a glass of wine with your spouse at dinner? One of you must be driving home. Its really not any different.

One beer isn't going to impair his driving, honestly. It just freaks me out, personally, due to losing a family member to a drunk driving accident. But I guess if I was in the situation I would need to think "is this realistically causing harm?"

One glass of wine sipped slowly over an hour long dinner is going to have a different effect than one beer drunk in 5 minutes on an empty stomach.

That said, I actually do nt drink at all if we are out to dinner and DH is drinking and are where we need to drive home (we often walk or take public transit)---but there is a big difference between the two things you are trying to compare--I am surprised you do not see it.

 

[joedplumber]

While drinking and driving is not cool at any level. I'm not sure I would say anything. Here in CT there is no open container law so passengers in your vehicle are allowed to drink as long is it is not the driver.

Also, I find it no different then what tons of people do here including myself. I commute to NYC, by train, everyday and on Fridays I will have a beer on the train and then after consuming the beer drive home from the train station. I have never checked but I am pretty sure I'm not over the limit but non the less I just consumed a beer (empty stomach) and now I am driving. So the only issue would have to be is where the beer is being consumed.

 

[luvsJack]

One glass of wine sipped slowly over an hour long dinner is going to have a different effect than one beer drunk in 5 minutes on an empty stomach.

That said, I actually do nt drink at all if we are out to dinner and DH is drinking and are where we need to drive home (we often walk or take public transit)---but there is a big difference between the two things you are trying to compare--I am surprised you do not see it.

Well, really it depends on the person and how much wine they actually drink. One beer on an empty or full stomach just isn't that much alcohol in all honesty.

I know a couple of guys that years ago had to attend a class because they had been stopped while drinking (well were drinking in a bar before they were stopped). They were given a chart to show how much they can drink over how much period of time for their size. Empty or full stomach really wasn't taken into consideration. Its all more about the amount of alcohol in a drink, the weight of the person and the time elapsed. according to what they were told, anyway.

I have also known people that drank a glass of wine at dinner and act like they drank a case! They just can't handle any amount of alcohol.

All that said, if someone has taken cold meds or takes allergy meds, that one beer can effect them more than your average Joe. And those are things you just wouldn't know because you ride with him to work.

 

[Colleen27]

My concern would be that if they were pulled over, the driver would be very quick to say it wasn't his beer. Realistically, one beer for a grown man isn't enough to pose an intoxication issue but open intoxicant laws can be nearly as expensive to resolve so I wouldn't want my DH opening himself up to that headache for the sake of saving a few bucks on gas.

I'm in the camp that wouldn't worry about one beer. Yes, there could be circumstances under which one beer would be unusually intoxicating but under normal conditions that in't an unreasonable or unsafe amount of alcohol. But I would take the time to know my state's open intoxicants law to see what the potential consequences could be. And in the end I'd go with my husband's gut - if he's uncomfortable with the other person's driving, I don't think the "why" matters.

The situation you mentioned in the last paragraph makes no sense to me. If I go to the grocery store with my grandchildren and buy some wine as well as groceries and load everything in the trunk, am I going to be in trouble? Do parents have to get babysitters in order to drive home from the liquor store? There must have been something more to that situation.

There's an exception for parents in our law (and parents only - if my brother was to pick up a six pack while my kids were with him he'd be in violation of the law). I'm not sure if it extends to grandparents. But when it comes to minors, or non-parent adults with minors in the vehicle, just having alcohol in the car is a crime. I have friends who, when we were younger, got minor-in-possession citations over empties in the car (Michigan has a bottle deposit, so there is a valid, non-drinking reason to be transporting them - my friends were returning empties for gas money). I also know one man who was cited for something relating to minors and alcohol even though the teens in question were his significant other's children, because his SO wasn't in the car and they weren't legally married so he didn't qualify as a related adult. I'm not sure what came of that when they went in front of the judge; I know he did plan to fight it but I never did hear what the final outcome was.

It isn't something that tends to be evenly enforced, though. Usually there has to be some suspicion of wrongdoing or a situation that looks on its face like an adult providing alcohol to minors for it to come up. I've purchased alcohol many times when I had kids in addition to my own in the car, including this past weekend when we went away with two extra kids in tow, and have never had a problem. But I also have't been stopped under circumstances that would prompt the police to want to look through the shopping bags in the back of my van since becoming an adult/mom (I used to get stopped and searched a lot as a teen when I was driving a junker in certain upscale neighborhoods where I lived/worked).

 

[NHdisneylover]

DD18 just started college and as part of orientation they were given little BCA cards to keep with them and I do know that those cards have a list for empty stomach and one for full stomach. Us parents were given this information during the parent orientation (along with being told about every ten minutes that marijuana is not legal on campus---I guess they get a lot of kids coming to Colorado thinking it is these days?)

 

[cjbcam]

He didn't offer your DH one? He'd be no friend of mine.

He did offer my DH one, my DH told him no and he's stupid for having one. The guy is like 6'6" over 300 lbs so one drink probably wouldn't put him over. If your BAC is over .04 you will get your car impounded and lose your liscence.
They do have open alcohol laws here but I can't find anything that says something about being a passenger. My DH is going to drive from now on and the guy can choose to catch a ride without drinking or not, his choice. I would be more than angry if we couldn't get into the States to go to Disney because of charges my DH could possibly get.

 

[CPanther95]

Some states can cite both the driver and passenger if the passenger has possession of an alcoholic beverage - some only the driver. (Some states neither)

But I've never heard of a passenger getting cited when in a car with a driver in possession of an alcoholic beverage.

 

[dennis99ss]

Ok, little overboard here????

come on folks, its not like this is the only time someone pops the top on the way home. in some parts of this country, it is an unwritten rule that you need to.
do you think those beers on ice right next to the cashier at the gas station are for you to take home and put in the fridge?

my concern would be, if hubby is coming from a job site, why didn't he have one as well.

beer on the way home=no big deal.

 

[luvsJack]

DD18 just started college and as part of orientation they were given little BCA cards to keep with them and I do know that those cards have a list for empty stomach and one for full stomach. Us parents were given this information during the parent orientation (along with being told about every ten minutes that marijuana is not legal on campus---I guess they get a lot of kids coming to Colorado thinking it is these days?)

Is it not illegal in every state to drink at 18? Seems kind of silly to hand an underage kid something that tells him/her how to drink "legally" but yet warn them about something else being illegal.

Truthfully, they could have changed the information they gave those guys at the classes but then there was nothing that listed empty stomach or full stomach. The problem with it, imho, is that a few crackers and cheese before drinking is not anywhere close to the same thing as a full meal. So those little cards should distinguish what is a "full stomach". What you eat can have some bearing on it too.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Like many things here, this is probably regional.

Here, for instance, is the law in MA (and I added it to my above post):

Open Container Law

It's illegal to operate a motor vehicle with an open container of alcohol anywhere in the vehicle, no matter who's holding it. This means you can't drive with an empty liquor bottle in your backseat, nor have a passenger drinking a can of beer.

Break this law and you face a $100 - $500 fine.

There are signs everywhere, and police are on the lookout for it. I, personally, wouldn't want a surcharge on my insurance for it as rates here are already astronomical.

Not sure why people are comparing it to having a drink in a restaurant. The issue here is consuming a can of fresh, cold beer while driving.

If people live in states where it's not an issue, then more power to you. But many of us live in states where it is a big issue.

I like to have a glass of wine when I'm out but I won't drink if I know I have to drive home. It works out most times as DH doesn't drink much. A few weeks ago I was out with girlfriends for a birthday and DD became our designated driver.

 

[NHdisneylover]

OP--I think your husband has the right approach! Thanks for the update.

Is it not illegal in every state to drink at 18? Seems kind of silly to hand an underage kid something that tells him/her how to drink "legally" but yet warn them about something else being illegal.

Truthfully, they could have changed the information they gave those guys at the classes but then there was nothing that listed empty stomach or full stomach. The problem with it, imho, is that a few crackers and cheese before drinking is not anywhere close to the same thing as a full meal. So those little cards should distinguish what is a "full stomach". What you eat can have some bearing on it too.

I haven't seen the cards myself to know if they make it clear what a full stomach is or not (on the card or in the presentation). My point was really about how it IS recognized that having a full stomach versus an empty one does in fact change how great the effect of alcohol is. You seemed to be saying it really doesn't make much difference and using those cards your family received years ago as some kind of proof, so I pointed out that cards being handed out today, in Colorado, DO take it into account.

I do know, both based on what was presented to us parents and on what DD told me that the way it is presented to the incoming students is that they are not legally allowed to drink, nor is it allowed per campus rules, BUT we also know that college students tend to drink anyway, and while the best is not to drink at all, if you do drink here is the information you need to be safe (the cards were not handed out to show legality, but so kids have a better idea of how fast it ca hit them and when it becomes dangerous from an alcohol poisoning standpoint).

Both the parent and student presentations started with showing the trailer to "Hazing" which is about the death of Gordie Bailey from alcohol poisoning 3 weeks into his freshman year at CU-Boulder (about an hour from her campus).

Personally I like the university's approach--I don't really think "abstinence only" education works well in sex ed OR drinking/drugs--kids needs more and better information to make good decisions (including, possibly, the decision to abstain--I thinking knowing realistic reasons why helps them to that even).

 

[cjbcam]

Ok, little overboard here????

come on folks, its not like this is the only time someone pops the top on the way home. in some parts of this country, it is an unwritten rule that you need to.
do you think those beers on ice right next to the cashier at the gas station are for you to take home and put in the fridge?

my concern would be, if hubby is coming from a job site, why didn't he have one as well.

beer on the way home=no big deal.

I know it's weird to me going into gas stations that sell beer. Alcohol is not sold here, to take home, in anything other than liquor stores and off sales.
My cousins girlfriend from the U.S. wasn't allowed into Canada because she had a DUI. Maybe the states are more lax about it?
To me it isn't worth it.