clkelley said:
she should have jerked the kids up and taken them back to the room and put them to bed for that behavior, or even taken them home.
Who teaches them
that behavior? Where do they learn it? Who leads them to believe that it's acceptable? Gee -- let's see ... it's either parents, teachers or television/movies/video games. I'm sure it's not their teachers. At school, I have to teach basic behavior/manners to students. Why should I teach this? Shouldn't children come to kindergarten knowing how to behave? That hitting, calling names, making faces, saying nasty words, talking back to the teacher are unacceptable? Well, if they see it at home, then it is acceptable. If they're allowed to watch it on tv/at the movies, then it's acceptable. I am only in school for so many hours to teach this. Are my proper behavior lessons being reinforced at home? I can't come to each student's home and teach them there, too. Isn't it the parents who should be setting the example, teaching their children not to play w/food or drinks, teaching them how to articulate, teaching them basic manners, showing them that there are consequences to their actions? My students sure don't learn that playing w/food and water, making faces and mumbling, lack of manners are acceptable from me. I make my students repeat themselves and speak articulately so they can be heard. If they make a face for doing it, they go into time out during recess. Those kids learn quickly when recess is taken away. If you don't want a child to spill a drink, you move the drink away from them. Isn't it obvious? Tell them once to stop ... if they don't stop immediately, then take action immediately. Don't keep parroting the same thing b/c it's not effective after one time.
If it's not the teachers, that leaves the parents or television. Don't be so fast to blame tv b/c isn't it up to the parents to monitor the television shows that their children watch? That tv has an off switch, a plug that can be pulled. Same w/those video games. As for movies, again, it's up to the parents to monitor those. Parents can control the movies/tv/video games. So, ultimately, it's the parents who teach/show/make acceptable the behaviors and allow their children to learn what is acceptable from the things they and society subjects them to.
The OP has allowed her children to act this way. She states that her dd has been pulling these faces for months. What has she done to prevent it? Simple talks? Asking her a million times to stop it? Well, if it's not happening after asking the 2nd time, what's going to make it happen after the millionth? If that's not getting through to the dd, then the OP needs to up her ante. I wonder .. if OP's DD had to spend time in the corner every time she made a face, would she stop doing it? Or, if OP took a priveledge away from her DD, would the faces stop? If the mother has to repeat herself 10 times and the action hasn't stopped, then repeating it has NO EFFECT on those kids. She needs to take other measures to deal w/them. They need to learn there are consequences for their actions. If the child hears "If you don't stop" a zillion times and there are no consequences b/c they don't stop, then they're going to keep going.
Wouldn't Nanny Frost say "if you have to say it more than once, then you aren't effective and you to find a new approach"?
I wonder where the OP's dd picked up the habit of making the face? Maybe at home? B/c, after all, we learn from watching our parents.
By removing herself, her children still got the party even after acting out the way they did.
Oh, yeah, some party. Whoopie. Is that the kind of party you want to be part of? Please. That was hardly a party after mother stormed out. If you were 8 yo, would you be in a party spirit if your mother removed herself from your party? Or would you be hurt? I'm sure this was not the party it was supposed to be.
This society is catering to children way too much these days.
Let's see ... I'm part of society and I don't cater to anyone's children ... not even my own. I, certainly, am not Super Mom but my child has to pitch in and do. He doesn't get to slack off while Mommy does everything for him. Sorry, but you can't raise a functioning human being if you do everything for them. It's the parents who are catering to their children and who allow society to cater to their children. It's a parents responsibility to navigate their child through society and show their children what is acceptable and what isn't. I have 3 students whose parents do their homework every night. In kindergarten! I can tell that those students didn't do the cutting, coloring, pasting, etc. I know when Mommy did it. Mommy even has the nerve to write child's name at the top of the paper for Junior, too. How is Junior supposed to learn how to print his name if Mommy does it? How is Junior supposed to learn to print the letter S if Mommy does the letter S printing homework for him? Society isn't making Mommy do it ... Mommy wants Junior to have fun, so she "takes on the burden" and does it. And, believe me, my Kindergarten homework is basic reinforcement. It's not difficult for the student to do. The one parent that does the Kindergarten child's homework also writes her 5th grade child's reports. It's so easy to spot parents work when you know the work the child does in the classroom. So, what is little Susie going to do when she has to go off to college? Is Mommy going to go w/her and do her work there? I'll even ask my students if Mommy did their homework. They, ever so blase, say yes. I tell them that Mommy already went to Kindergarten and they need to do their own work. Does that help? No ... b/c it's Mommy, not society, catering tot hem. Society shows the children what is available to them ... it's up to Mom and Dad to determine and show their children what paths to take. Parents are the enablers.
Hey -- maybe if it's ok to jerk the kids up, it's ok to smack them around, too? I don't think society would cater to that treatment.
